• Member Since 15th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 28th, 2020

Papillon Rose


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After Angel falls gravely ill Rainbow Dash agrees to help Fluttershy by embarking on a journey into Everfree in search of a rare herb needed to make medicine for him. The trip pits them against a creature dwelling deep in the forest, and the encounter changes Rainbow Dash's entire view of her gentle, reserved friend. As she spends more time with her following their return from Everfree, she finds her feelings for Fluttershy changing and is forced to deal with something she's never had to face before -- something that could possibly interfere with her dreams. While Rainbow Dash struggles with her first crush (with a little help from her friends), a lonely Pinkie Pie struggles with her resulting feelings of resentment and is drawn into an unhealthy friendship with a strange unicorn living on the outskirts of the forest...

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 63 )

This is beautifully written. I'm all up for a beautifully written FlutterDash. Tracked!

5600 Thank you so much; given the style I'm going for, that was pretty much the best compliment you could have given me. I'm trying to keep everyone in character, as well as approach Dash's character a little differently from some of the ways I've seen...which won't be an easy task. It makes me feel good to see that people seem to like it so far. :rainbowderp:

5554 Oh, there will be more Angel, in all his bad-tempered glory. :yay:

I personally think Dash's characterization is one of the most accurate I've ever seen. Love the story so far. I'll be tracking it.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Glad to see an update to this. Always love me some Zecora rhyming. The italic sections are great, too. :heart:

Damn, that "presence" is scary. I wonder what the heck it is, and how Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy will escape? Can't wait for more:yay:

I'd make a guess "based off of its shapeshifting and flowing through the air", that this is the Nightmare part of NMM that wasnt destroyed completely or something

6521 For once, that is not the case. I am proud to say that I worked up something creepy (hopefully?) without delving into Nightmare Moon territory. Much :heart: for Luna, though.

6239 Writing dialogue for Zecora is an experience. I actually got out a notebook and worked those out prior to writing the chapter, and I sorta ignored syllables and rhythm altogether. If it is a conscious effort, that zebra is one helluva wordsmith. :twilightsmile:

Thank you for the comments, and on to chapter three! I dunno if it's time to throw out the 'Dark' tag yet...

I know I said this in the last chapter, but Dash's characterization is really my favorite part of this entire story. You seem to write her more brash and reckless than most other authors. When I'm reading her parts it truly feels like I'm watching her on the show itself.

I've always wondered if authors intentionally avoid writing Zecora so they don't have to make her dialog rhyme. I always thought it would be fun to write dialog for her. Of course, I've never actually tried it, so I may be sorely mistaken.

This is shaping up to be one of the best FlutterDash stories! :rainbowkiss: Awaiting more!

This story is awesome! :rainbowkiss: I haven't read any good action/suspense scenes in ages! Also, I love those little lines about Rarity. Especially the one in the last chapter about Dash's slurping being enough to make Rarity faint.
:rainbowwild::rainbowlaugh:

by celestia, that zebra is a damn alien with that damn ability to rhyme so good

or maybe it's just that if she were a human, she'd be black

I love this story. :3 Dash's side romance really built up well over the past few chapters, and you even got a hint of Fluttershy's side here!

Eager for more.

Zecora inspected the page. "Nightblooming flowers of blue," she muttered to herself thoughtfully, "In such a calming hue. From root to petal, its medicinal powers abound; among those who practice the healing arts this herb is renowned."

HOLY CRAP, this is good. In general and By Celestias mane you did an OUTSTANDING job on Zecora, just, amazing ^^

:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::fluttercry::raritystarry::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile: sums up my reactions ^^

I Finally maade an accout XD, mostly to track ur story 2 :D ~yay~ Cant wait fo more

This is amazing, I'm really happy with where this is going.

Ahhh... good ol' Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy

:yay: :rainbowkiss:

I really like this story and I will track it for sure. :pinkiehappy: :heart:
but there is one thing I noticed in this sentence - "Crisp, cool water flowed down her throat and filled her lungs, instantly lifting the sheen of dust and perspiration matting her coat, mane, and tail." filling your lungs with water is deadly :P

It could be worse! I wasn't sure if Pinkie had gotten Majora's Mask, or the Terror Mask from Splatterhouse. If she'd gotten her hooves on that, it'd be bad.

9709

Noted and accounted for, mon ami!! Thank you -- sometimes I miss stuff even after editing. :twilightsmile:

#23 · Oct 9th, 2011 · · · Sparks ·

Fantastic story!

It had so many memorable moments. I enjoyed the clear descriptions and loved how the characters reacted to things happening.

Your way of telling the story felt really pleasing to my tastes. A great example (and my fav part) was how Rainbow Dash's thoughts are "tickled" by how pretty Fluttershy is hehee! That's just what I wanted to read, and it was written in just the right way.


I really enjoyed your work and couldn't leave without commenting to thank you for spending the time on this great little tale.

This is shaping up to be the best FlutterDash story, at least in terms of buildup. You are REALLY building the romance very well, and patiently. :D It's obvious to me that Fluttershy is feeling something, even though all of your narrative is focused on Dash.

The ending is beautiful! I love the imagery of her randomly creating a rainboom and then just flying around, feeling so alive & happy for a reason she doesn't know yet. You're in love, Dash! That's the reason! Great imagery.

10861

I'd feel more terrified about if she got her hooves on Loki's Mask from "The Mask". Although it'd be fun to see her rendition of Cuban Pete.

Amazingly written <3

And yay for FlutterDash

I'd laugh if Pinkie goes over to Fluttershy's to say high with the chaos emerald, and all the hedgehogs run away.

Oh my goodness, so many things I want to say about this chapter I don't even know where to start...

Well, from pretty much the part where Fluttershy hugged Dash when they returned from Everfree the second time onwards I had a serious case of warm and fuzzy feelings, which is something I don't feel too often when reading romance stories. It's usually more of a general happiness or a sense of... adorableness? Like Scy said, you're building this up really well and because of that I feel more emotionally invested in it. I was going to comment on how beautiful the rainboom scene was, but Scy already said that, too.

I guess the only thing new I have to add is that I really liked Pinkie's characterization too, even though she only showed up for a short while. I've always felt like most people just don't quite capture her true, um... randomness? Well, whatever it is, you captured it.

If you really want to know just how much I liked this chapter, I'm now adding you to my watched authors list. :heart:

The cannon for dash is just spot on, especially in the fact that this would totally be the way dash would fall for somepony, like from friend to love. Can't wait for more :D and great job

Well, Hell. A few months ago I read an amazing fan fiction - Off The Edge of The Map - which was an absolutely brilliant and beautiful work that really explored Dash and Fluttershy excellently. Ever since I read that, though, I've searched in vain to find another Flutterdash fiction like it - a lot were good, many were mediocre - but overall I gave up hope of ever finding a Flutterdash fic at such a high level of awesomeness again.

This fiction proved me wrong!

I was so excited after reading the first chapter of this, and I had to read more immediately. Your sense of narrative flow is excellent, I think you have both characters spot on, you have a very interesting and, quite frankly, terrifying villain to contend with, and your exploration of their relationship makes me feel warm and fuzzy. In particular, I loved the scene right after Fluttershy warded off the 'bear' and became overwhelmed with guilt - the consolation was so adorable I wanted to explode (twice?). My favorite bits are when Fluttershy and Dash are just talking to eachother - good dialog does wonders, and I think you've got it down.

And you're really, really good at crafting moods. At the end of the last chapter, I really felt Dash's sense of joy as if it were a tangible element.

I created an account here just to comment on this (but I'll probably write stuff later but that's not important right now). I noticed you haven't updated in a while - and you're probably pretty busy - but I do hope this gets finished, because you have a great thing going on here. For now I will be waiting impatiently for the next update! :derpytongue2:

#31 · Nov 7th, 2011 · · · Sparks ·

I'm VERY much enjoying this story. You've done a great job of going into detail, and I think that in terms of staying in-character, you're doing a fine job: Particuarly with Rainbow. What really makes this story stand out for me is the fact that not only do you have a compelling side story with the strange creature they encountered, but you have focused a great deal on story as opposed to the simple 'having an undying love for each other' that shipping is stereotyped for. The fact that Dash is still confused about her feelings makes it every bit more compelling. As much as your little Chipmunk reference made me Facehoof, this is a great story, with my favorite pairing nonetheless. Shut up and take my five stars. I eagerly await the next chapter.

y u no finish next chapter yet?
tis good story

This isn't gonna get updated soon, is it...:trixieshiftleft:

177512 I doubt it.

Such a shame since it's really well written if you ask me.

mr.author person! if you can read this. please! we want more! :twilightsheepish:

Glad to see you havent abonded this story.

This is toatly awesome! I can't see any shipping here (yet) but the actions scene in this chpater was riviting :rainbowwild:
Keep up the awesomeness!
:yay::heart::rainbowdetermined2:

Great chapter. I look foward to more great Flutterdash from you :pinkiehappy:

:yay::heart::rainbowkiss:FTW!

This is going great! I'm wary about what's going to attack them in the forest in revenge...
All in all a good long chapter. Very engaging... Can we have more please?
I cant wait to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's relationship continue to blossom into the full on relationship it should be.
I'm hoping next chapter will be Flutterdash chapter :yay::heart::rainbowwild:
Cause that would be awesome!

I wonder what this presence is. It kinda reminds me of Nightmare Moon but I doubt it is something like this. Hmm.... *continues reading*

rainbow is quite cute when she's so unaware of her crush on a certain pegasus^^ cant wait to read more of this^^

This wont end well.... I hope Ranbow can pull her out of it in the end. It would be a real sshame to loose this cute fallen-in-love Pinkie Pie to some weird emotion-eating.... something.

:fluttercry: Poor Pinkie Pie. I want Flutterdash but I don't want Pinkie heartbroken. :raritycry:

Hurray for an update! And hurray for Rainbow Pie! This may be a FlutterDash ship, but Rainbow Pie is still my favourite.
That chapter itself was also one of the best ways I've seen the idea of someone having a crush on someone else without knowing written.

Comment posted by justsomerandompony deleted Dec 31st, 2012

Mysterious magic entity? Seems legit

I salute you sir for an exemplary flutterdash

Random...
and I thought this would be another epic Flutterdash chapter. Oh well....
Pinkie. You don't go well with RD. Leave her to Fluttershy. :facehoof::eeyup:

1898652

Trust me, it's definitely building up to something. One more Pinkie chapter, and then the fluffiest Flutterdash chapter thus far. I'm just a little stunted in writing thanks to the flu. Ugh.

1898949 okay. Thanks for the heads up. I look foward to that then :rainbowwild::yay:

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