I Blame You, Too

by Whitestrake

Dave Chappelle was Offered the role of Bubba in Forrest Gump. He Regrets Turning it Down

$%$%$% Amos's POV $%$%$%

We walked out of the palace, with Skully only needing minimal help from Chrysalis. Perhaps it was because the locals would recognize him and he didn't want to appear weak in front of them, or maybe he was improving with every moment under the planet's sun. By my best guess, it was the early afternoon, which happened to be the preferred time for palace guards to be on patrol. I counted no less than twelve teams of inquisitor ponies in the tens minutes it took us to leave the castle grounds. I have no doubt there were plenty more that evaded detection.

We walked through the city below, which Taylor called Canterlot. Many of the buildings seemed new, built in the last five years, and there was no visible pattern in the layout of the streets. Windows were generally small for storefronts, while retaining their advertising purposes, and the entire business district seemed built for defense in the event of invasion. The city walls had the same maschinengewehr emplacements the Temple had, still facing inward. Canterlot was a deathtrap designed to kill anyone who dared attack, though I had no way of knowing the outer defenses, if they existed, or their capabilities.

After what felt like an hour of walking the winding, zigzagging streets, we came to a door made of white marble. There were no marking to hint at its purpose, nothing to identify that it even belonged the Equestrian Inquisition, but Taylor had access all the same. He pushed the door open, as there was no mechanism to open it on the outside, and we were immediately greeted by two psyker ponies in golden armor. They recognized him and saluted as we passed them; they didn't even bat an eye at me. Two more guards were through the next door, made of black granite. They had wings like a bat or flying Tyranid, and their eyes were slitted and reflective. Nocturnal guardsmen, possibly, but they seemed to be some mutant offshoot of the general pony species.

The final door was made of cut, opaque, golden crystal. It seemed expensive, almost the sort of thing kept for royalty, and it's design was as intricate as it a stained window bearing the Emperor's form. I've no doubt something of similar quality would be found on Holy Terra, as it was free of tool marks and seemed to have formed as though nature itself broke the mould after its creation. Taylor did not have to touch it for it to open; the inquisitors on the other side took care of that. Before then, I had not noticed we had been traveling underground, which only became evident as I saw what lay beyond the pair of skull-faced ponies.

Rows upon rows, hundreds upon hundreds of marble gravestones stood in purposeful order in the massive cavern. This was a war memorial, for no plague could warrant this level of veneration. We walked down one of the aisles between stones, taking care to keep at a measured pace so as not to appear disrespectful. I felt honored at being allowed to see this place, something that was considered sacred on home. Many of the graves had small trinkets, letters, and even weapons placed before the tombstones.

I noticed the markings on each pony's flank as I saw them, and they seemed to either be unique, or only a handful could possess the same one at any given time; either way, a mark was etched into the marble gravestones just below what I could only assume was the departed's name and years of life. We came to a stop in front of a simple stone that had a bird-like skull resting on the soil before it. The flank mark adorning the front was of a crescent moon and a cartoon star on a stick. I had no idea what the flank marks meant, but this one seemed like astronomy, maybe?

“Her name was Trixie Lulamoon.” Chrysalis's voice seemed deafening in the quiet chamber, but Taylor didn't even flinch at the sudden sound. I imagine the two had been comrades in arms at some point, or close friends. Dahl's ideas of him being a xenophile came to mind at once, but I put them down quickly; this was something to respect, and I would not throw around a wild accusation like that. “She was the first friend he made when he came to this world, and the closest.”

“Came to this world? I thought he was from here.” To be fair, humans are pretty tough and capable of surviving in a myriad of environments; the men and women of Catachan are living proof of that. I also realized it was possibly offensive to talk about Taylor with him being right there, but he was sitting with his eyes closed, almost as though he was meditating. He was a psyker, so it wasn't out of the question for him to be communing with the dead. Either way, Chrysalis and I were not on his list of things to think about.

“No; like you, Taylor came from somewhere else, and the same goes for the Pyromaniac.” I didn't bother wondering how that worked, because, for all I knew, this was some weird pocket universe in the Warp and we had the misfortune of ending up in it. “I'm not sure how it actually works, no one is, but I do know Equus is a sort of dumping ground for multiple universes.”

“He use Warp travel to get here?” So, my hypothesis was correct, kinda. Psykers were probably unique to my universe, if she was telling the truth, which would explain why he didn't try to harm us and knew about heresy. Or, just maybe, the natives only thought they were part of a separate dimension, and Taylor exploited that to gain power here. “On second thought, why don't we just get back to this Trixie?”

“Right; well, she and Taylor were close, really close, because he saved her life when they first met.” That was a plausible method of making an alliance. Dahl saved me from a genestealer infestation on my old boss's ship, so I just started working for him. Chrysalis's face took on an odd little quality as she spoke, and I wasn't entirely sure I liked it. “She was furious when he'd gotten himself burned defending Canterlot when I invaded with my army.”

“Pardon?” I very nearly lapsed into my planet's dialect, and only just retained my composure. Chrysalis was a friend, at the very least, of the leader of the Equestrian Inquisition, and she just freely admitted to attempting to destroy the very kingdom Taylor protects. At my surprise, the insect xenos laughed in a way that was somehow mocking and sincere.

“Sorry, I just didn't imagine you'd react that way. If it helps, he was burned setting an entire storehouse full of fuel and ammunition on fire in an attempt to kill me.” That just raised further questions, but I decided to let the sleeping dog lie, lest I be pulled into political intrigue I really didn't want to understand. “I thought they were going to end up together, to be honest.”

Well, apparently Dahl was right about Skully fucking aliens. Did I mention I actually freaked out a bit when she said that? Yeah, right in the middle of the memorial chamber. I saw more than a few pony families look at me in disgust.

Comments

[Grahf]

oh poor Trixie i liked her in the prequel

[G S tol Kriaal]

in the tens minutes it took

There's either an extra s or a missing "of"

as intricate as it a stained window

I get the feeling that "it" shouldn't be there

*clears throat* WHY DID YOU KILL TRIXIE?!

[MidnightSun]

Awwww, Trixie is dead?
What happened?

[Whitestrake]

2602106 She performed a "Look Out, Sir!"

[MidnightSun]

2602120

The poor moment when you don't understand the reference...

*sigh* I really need to get out under this rock

[Whitestrake]

2602141 A "Look Out, Sir!" is a special move in Warhammer 40k, and I imagine in Fantasy Battle, that allows a member of a unit to take a wound instead of a character who would have taken it instead. Trixie performed it, passed the roll, and was removed from the field as a casualty.

[MidnightSun]

2602157
Ah, you see, that would be why I didn't get it. I understand the basics of 40k thanks to Dawn of War, but no specifics such as moves or rolls or anything like that.
Awww, poor Trixie. Well, at least she did take one for the team.

[Rhulain]

....was this 'look out, sir' performed off screen? because I don't remember it. and if so, you best be planning on explaining it.

Please?

[Bazing]

holy shit Dave Chappelle? really?

[Rhodesm96]

2604071 I like how only about one person pays attention to what the name of the chapter is.

[Bronydragon]

So Trixie is dead. I was wondering why she wasn't there the entire time.
Farewell old friend. May your soul find the holy grounds of tranquilum.

Dragon

[Whitestrake]

2605140 Only one person pays attention because the names are stupid

[Chuck Baleigh]

Catachan? What kinda planet is that? God, I hope it's not like the crazy shit my brother watched in an anime.
Genestealer? Lemme guess, a kinda shape-shifter?

[Whitestrake]

2611686
1) Catachan is a death world, meaning literally fucking everything is trying to kill you. It's entirely covered in dense jungle, and every animal (and most of the plants) eats meat. they have leaves that take over your mind, "jumpy" Catachan barking toads which explode in a cloud of poisonous gas that kills everything in a kilomater radius of it. then there's the infamous Catachan devil, which may or may not be an ancient Tyranid bio-morph. Imagine a centipede the size of the average train.
To use the 1d4chan article on Catachan

If you think it sucks where you live... well, you know absolutely nothing. Here are just a few reasons why Catachan is the last place in the entire galaxy you would (or should) visit:
Humanity is near the BOTTOM of the food chain.
Half of the babies die are eaten before they are three.
Half of those survivors are then eaten before they are ten.
Every animal is carnivorous/omnivorous. Every plant is poisonous. (Somehow.)
Most predators on Catachan aren't just giant monsters like you'd find on Fenris or Cretacia. That would just be too easy. Many of Catachan's most lethal killers are tiny, like insects, which will almost certainly kill you before you even see them. An example of this are the Heretic Ants, which go for men's soles.
You live at several times Earth's gravity.
You have to burn the jungle away from your village with a Flamethrower at least once a day.
The planet's major export is soldiers. No, wait. The planet's only export is soldiers.
Or in other words: Living on Catachan is like living perpetually in the first stages of a Tyranid invasion. Read: not a very good idea.

Positive side

There are, however, some positives that balance out all of the bad, bad things about being a guardsman from Catachan. Assuming you live long enough to enjoy them.
Your muscles will be so thick that you count as having flak armor, even without a shirt on. If you wax your chest and liberally apply oil, it acts similarly to carapace armour. Only Catachan veterans know why this works.
You're able to kill Orks with your bare hands. If that doesn't work, you can use the FUCKHUEG knife you get.
You might be led by Colonel "I ate a Miral landshark for breakfast" Straken.
You might also be led by Gunnery Sergeant "I headlock Tyranid Raveners to death" Harker.
You have superhuman strength (at least as compared to other Guardsmen; you're still not exactly a Space Marine).
You can makes Hollywood Action Heroes looks like Justin Bieber

2) Genestealers being shapeshifters? You wish, Space Marines wish, everyone in the Ordo Xenos wishes, and the Ymgarl strain of genestealers wishes they weren't. Simple put, they are a powerful melee-only unit capable of tearing open Space Marine power armor like tissue paper. It can hypnotize people by making eye contact.
Oh, and also, they have a long tongue with an ovipositor, and they bite anything intelligent, which renders its victim bound to it psychically. It uses its tongue to implant some of its genes into its vicitim, because it can't reproduce on its own. the victim's body starts upping the sex drive to make it mate, which always results in a genestealer-hybrid. Each successful generation looks more and more human, until you reach the fifth, which always spawns a full-blooded genestealer.
Pretty much, it's just a lovable, six-armed can of face rape
img.photobucket.com/albums/v646/CMDante/Genestealer%20Hybrid/GenestealerCultArt.jpg
PS: that purple alien in the back is a genestealer

[Razzy]

She's dead, wrapped in plastic.

And what's that skull?