• Published 30th Mar 2013
  • 1,907 Views, 112 Comments

Thirty Minutes of Fabulosity - Esle Ynopemos

A collection of short stories and vignettes featuring everyone's favorite fashionista.

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4: No Princesses Here [Comedy]

((Prompt: Princess? What Princess?))

Rarity’s eyes flickered between the two stallions. Her eyes were sharper than anypony’s that she knew of; she could tell the difference between eggshell and tinted porcelain from two hundred paces away. Yet she could not spot a single thing that marked one of the ponies before her as anything other than an exact mirror image of the pony next to him. She had heard the rumor that the Guard used enchantments on their armor to make each of them look identical, but she never realized just how effective it was until just now. Why, if she hadn’t seen the left one’s lips moving, she would not have known which was speaking to her.

“So, any help you could provide would be… uh, helpful.” The guard somehow managed to retain a stoic posture even as he stumbled on his words.

Rarity brought a hoof to her chin. “I’m sorry boys, I’m afraid I haven’t seen her since Tuesday. Missing from Canterlot, you say?”

The rightmost guard, which Rarity mentally decided to name Tweedle Dum to keep them straight, nodded. “The staff found her room empty this morning. The window was left open.”

“Oh my,” Rarity said, “I hope she’s alright!”

“So far, there’s been no sign of any kind of struggle. But we are of course concerned for the Princess’s safety,” said his twin, Tweedle Dee.

Something fell off of a counter in the back of her shop. Rarity’s ears flickered momentarily before she met the guardsponies with her most disarming smile. “Well, I am afraid your princess must be in another castle, so to speak. I’m fresh out of princesses here.”

Tweedle Dee raised an eyebrow as he peered into the Boutique. “Is somepony back there?” he asked.

“Just my cat, darling,” Rarity responded quickly. “Opalescence, dear, please be careful with those, you know they’re expensive!”

The stallions glanced at each other. “Okay, have a good day, Miss Rarity. If you hear anything about Princess Twilight—”

“—You’ll be the first to know, darlings. Good luck on your search!” Rarity waved goodbye to the Guard and slowly shut her door.

She waited until she heard wings unfold and carry the stallions away before she let out her breath. She took one last wary glance out the window before trotting quickly to the back of her inspiration room. She opened up the door to her closet.

Out fell Twilight Sparkle in a tangle of thread and feathers. “I’m sorry,” Twilight said as she attempted to disengage herself from a ball of yarn. “There’s not much room in there, and I’m still not used to having wings.”

Rarity waved away her dismissal. “So, now that I have committed perjury, hindering an official investigation, and quite possibly, depending on how a judge would see it, abduction of royalty, would you mind telling me what this is about, darling?”

Twilight began respooling some thread she had knocked over in hiding. “Oh, it was awful, Rarity, just awful! I didn’t realize it at first, but I’ve been shanghaied into this whole thing!”

Rarity tilted her head. “What were they doing to you in Canterlot, darling?”

A shudder of revulsion shook Twilight’s body. “Tax code, Rarity. They had me writing tax code!