• Published 30th Mar 2013
  • 1,914 Views, 112 Comments

Thirty Minutes of Fabulosity - Esle Ynopemos

A collection of short stories and vignettes featuring everyone's favorite fashionista.

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Bonus #1: Subterfuge [Adventure]

((Prompt: The circumstances leading to, following, or surrounding somepony uttering the question, “How could Twilight Sparkle be so stupid?”))

A puff of smoke rose from a lit cigar and pooled in the low ceiling. The smoker, a dark brown pegasus with a jagged scar across his cheek, frowned as he studied a pile of documents and a strip of microfilm on his desk. The room was deep within the bowels of Canterlot's labyrinthine network of sewers and underground tunnels, and the dull thunder of passing hoof-traffic on the thoroughfare above served to make the firefly lantern sway back and forth, causing shadows to dance across his features.

“I don't get it, Dag,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “I thought the princess was supposed to be some kind of genius or something. How could Twilight Sparkle be so stupid?”

A scarlet unicorn coughed and waved her hoof, trying fruitlessly to waft the smoke away from her. “I do wish you would go outside to light those things, Cloak. It's rank enough in this ratty dungeon without you trying to smoke me out.”

Cloak grunted and took another draw on his cigar. “It helps me think.”

“Well, we both know you need all the help you can get in that department, dear,” Dagger jibed. She peered over his shoulder at the stolen documents. “What seems to be the issue?”

The stallion pointed to the topmost sheet of paper. It was a page from Twilight's day-planner, copied from memory by one of the pair's embedded spies among the royal staff. “Observatory. Library. The donut shop on fourth street. She's spending her whole day going from one open, easy-to-hit security blindspot to the next. There's no way her guard detail could secure even half these places.” He thumped his hoof on the desk. “It's like she wants us to kidnap her and stage a coup.”

“Don't underestimate her,” Dagger warned. “The princess might seem like a naive young mare, but there's a long list of things, pony and otherwise, that have found out the hard way just how canny she is.”

Cloak nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” He shifted the stack of papers, bringing out a street map of Canterlot. “But, I mean, what's to stop us from snatching her as a hostage when she leaves the donut shop at two?”

The red mare studied the map carefully, frowning in thought. “Well darling, perhaps she might activate her double agent infiltrated in our organization to neutralize it if it ever became a threat.”

Cloak blinked. “Wait... what?” He turned in his chair, but a sudden strike from a red hoof caused him to slump to the floor, unconscious.

Dagger flicked a lock of her mane out of her face. She appeared to flicker for a moment as the illusion spell Twilight had adapted from her study of changeling magic faded, revealing a white unicorn with a stylish purple mane. She pressed her hoof to the enchanted communication crystal she wore as an earring.

“It's taken care of, dear. You can send the boys in to clean up now.” She gingerly stepped on the cigar, extinguishing it.

A smile spread across Rarity's lips as the crystal glowed with Twilight's reply.

“Oh, that would be lovely,” Rarity said, stepping over Cloak's prone form. “Could you get me one of the ones with sprinkles?

Author's Note:

I was trying to write this prompt for my Twilight Sparkle compilation, but Rarity simply refused to not be a badass, so I decided to put the result here, instead.

Appropriately enough, this prompt is #007 in the archive.