Extra Log #1
"Never say what you mean, all I hear is a scream!"
The abrupt, jarring sound of my alarm clock radio disrupted me from my peaceful slumber. I immediately sat up, with eyes cracked wide open, out of startlement and looked from left to right frantically. Teeth gritting, my fragile eyes winced from the harmful glares of the sun slitting through the bedroom window blinds. I promptly shielded them with a right forearm.
The radio resting on my small white dresser resumed blaring the song, "Never say that to me! Never say that to me! Wipe that SHIT off your face! Let's not stop till we bleed! The more you spit out your mouth the less I believe!"
"Denial, seems it had to come... Relied on me to say it all! Denial has LEFT YOU ALL ALONE-"
I bellowed angrily at the noisy clock, "That's enough!", before hammering my solid fist down onto it repeatedly until bits started flying off. The obnoxious music finally quelled as silence filled the room once again, although the lyrics continued lingering inside my head like a song left on auto-loop. "I don't even like Sevendust!" I grumbled under my breath, knowing which band the song belonged to.
Stretching the stiffness out of my arms, I lousily tossed the comforters aside and made haste to the lavatory with an intention of 'bleeding the lizard'. After I had relieved my kidneys, I stood before the sink and raised the single lever upward straightly. A perpetual stream of water gushed out from the faucet as I slowly stuck a right hand in to determine its temperature. Not too hot. Not too cold. It was perfect. Nudging the lever over to the left a little, I felt the rushing water suddenly become slightly warmer. Satisfied with this tolerable degree, I let go of the lever and began lathering both tainted hands with orange-scented liquid soap.
After accomplishing the first step of my morning ritual, I moved on to the next one: brushing my teeth. I closed my eyes and let out a tedious yawn while rummaging the cabinet for toothpaste. Grabbing the said product, I then grabbed the toothbrush. The white, plastic dental tool looked dull from years of usage; a couple of its bristles were missing and some pointed in several directions. Regardless, it was still usable, and I didn't want to burden myself buying a new one just yet. I always preferred making my money's worth by using them until they'd become obsolete.
With step two completed, it was time for me to take a shower and get dressed for work. All of a sudden my pupils shrank to the size of pins as realization struck me fast like lightning.
"Is this my old home...?" I whispered to myself. Sure enough it was; same old white carpet, same old bed I slept and awoke on, same old (abused) alarm clock, and same old bathroom. I didn't know what was going on. The last thing I remembered was that I told Fluttershy I was going to write an entry in my journal before going to bed. Then it struck me. Either it was a trick by a certain draconequus or a dream. I (obviously) picked the former. "I swear, if this is some kind of prank, Discord, I sure as hell ain't laughin'."
I figured this could had been a part of his shenanigans. Discord and I had this "bond" where our friendship revolved around pranking ourselves or others, and frankly that's how it's kinda been since we met. He could pull unexpected stunts mortals like myself couldn't, but there were times I'd catch him off guard. And knowing him, he'd be the kind of jerk behind the whole gag.
Given the silent treatment I had been receiving, I was growing more anxious. "Okay. Seriously. You got me, now come out." I submitted to the God of Chaos in question.
Normally Discord would make a random entry whenever he was called out. Yet he didn't show up. It then occurred to me that it wasn't a prank. I mused on the last and only option: it had to be a dream. Confirming that it was, I indulged myself in a state of meditation; an attempt to create a mental image that could be brought to life. Eyelids shut tight, brows heavily narrowed, I rubbed my temples pouring every ounce of my concentration on something simple: a cup full of chocolate milk.
Out of nowhere, breaking my chain of focus, a feminine voice echoed from the living room.
She chortled hysterically, "Ahahaha! This entertainment, it amuses us!"
"Us?" I questioned, musing the 'third-person' remark.
When I woke up to realize I was back in my old house and not in Fluttershy's cottage, I was quite shocked. Well, confused more than shocked. To be precise, I could say I was literally dumbstruck beyond belief. I didn't know how I just wounded up back on Earth. I mean, I conjectured about the culprits responsible; one of which were Discord. It could have been Celestia, and she could have done it without leaving a note or having my consent. Or... it could be that it was nothing more than a simple dream and I'm being a total dick for jumping to rash conclusions. But it's not my fault. I'm sure everyone probably would point their fingers or hooves at Discord if he just so as much as scratches his ass. And seeing as Celestia has the magic to send me back and forth between worlds, it was very likely I'd suspected her of such.
I crumpled and threw the wild assumptions away but still held the plausible idea that it had to be a dream. There are multiple methods to know when you're in a lucid dream; when one believes he or she is in an unconscious state, one should check their appearance to see if their legs, toes, arms or fingers are either disfigured or missing. Problem was I checked every part of my body thoroughly (I had pajamas on. Thank God it wasn't that kind of dream) and every part looked exactly the way they were, so that method didn't really help out much... Usually if I noticed I'm dreaming I'd think up of something that would then pop out of nowhere before me, so I did exactly that, although my meditating process was short-lived when an elegant, female voice was heard from the living room, guffawing in a boisterous manner.
More presumptions accumulated inside my (un)conscious brain; would the laughing woman in the living room possibly be Tina? Come to think of it, I have never, in my entire life, heard her laugh like that. Thinking it over thoughtfully, I hunched it had to be one of the... mane six. Okay, I understand the slight comparisons between Equestria and Earth -- Saddle Arabia (Saudi Arabia), Manehattan (Manhattan), Las Pegasus (Las Vegas) -- yet using the word 'mane' instead of 'main' was just... well, silly to say! But I wasn't living on my own world, now was I?
Alas when I couldn't decipher whose laughter it was, I stopped what I was doing and went to go investigate.
As I hastily crept past the exit of my bedroom and down the empty hallway corridors, my ears caught some quirky sounds I was all too familiar with.
"Ed why's your helmet tied to your butt?" Eddy asked, sounding pretty irritated.
"For protection," Ed replied.
Judging by the dialogue (while restraining myself from bursting out into a fit of giggles) it appeared whoever the woman was, was watching a repeat of 'Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy' where the three boys were building a treehouse clubhouse on top of a tree.
It seemed rather peculiar. Something gnawed at the back of my brain- something that made me suspicious about the whole thing besides the mysterious, chortling person. It's a weird feeling like when someone dreams of a place they haven't been to yet. Almost like their mind's are predicting the future. When I used to be young, I had one of those bizarre experiences; as I said, it's weird since that dream I had was the exact house I bought and lived in. At first I didn't know why I dreamt of something like that, but years later when I became an adult it actually happened. Talk about Deja Vu.
After going through a massive brainstorm, I finally put the puzzle pieces together: this dream I was having was a memory of sorts. I pulled out my smartphone from my pajamas pen pocket to reveal an interesting revelation. With a sweep of an index finger on the screen, the calendar on the top-right side depicted the date to be October 9th, 2011; the day before I found Fluttershy. Sorta explained the 'smashing the alarm clock' reaction.
Acknowledging the facts, I stashed the phone back into the pocket and continued creeping toward the living room. Quietly and cautiously, I stretched my neck out a couple inches and took a peek at the person sitting on the couch. And to my phenomenal discovery, it was not a human but a... pony. Would have been anticlimactic... if it weren't an alicorn.
Indeed it was an alicorn, based on Twilight's intuition; I've learned several things of pony culture and different species including the alicorns thanks to her. An alicorn is a pegasus and unicorn hybrid. They fly just like any other pegasus but their magic powers are unlike a normal unicorn's. While their powers are significantly limited, they could still perform spells and rituals not any mere unicorn are capable of performing. From my understanding, at least.
So it came to me as a shock that not only was there a female alicorn -- according to Twilight there hadn't been confirmations on the existences of male alicorns -- sitting on her haunches on the couch, laughing her dare to say... plot off to one of my favorite episodes of all time, but I haven't met this certain pony. As I leaned further outward, I managed to make out some of her features.
She had a very dark shade of blue of a coat, like the skies during twilight hour. She also had a translucent mane, rippling and sparkling just like Celestia's. The mare blew out a hearty chuckle at the part where Ed was slapping Eddy to snap him out of it. I had to admit, that part got me snickering in the inside. Back to my analysis; there was an inky-black regal crown resting atop of her head. Squinting, I managed to catch a glimpse of her mystical horn, although it looked much shorter than Celestia's. Perhaps the length of an alicorn's horn varied on their age or something.
I leaned outward a bit more while maintaining my balance, ensuring I wouldn't tumble and give myself away. Unfortunately, it appeared that the mare had already sensed my presence. Well, she didn't exactly sense; she had known all along.
She spoke aloud softly, without as much as giving me a single glance, "How has the view been, human?"
Alicorns sure were up to their reputation... I was positively certain I was being stealthily as possible. "Other than a random stranger who I have no knowledge of is sitting on my couch and is watching cartoon shows on my television set like she own place? I have to say the view's been splendid," I quipped. I sauntered my way over to the couch, and as I got closer the mare swiveled her head around to look at me. There I had a crystal clear vision of her large, aquamarine eyes. "How did you know I was awake?" I asked, scratching the back of my head curiously.
She shot me a 'are you kidding me?' expression. "Hasn't the loud banging sound been proof enough?" She replied flatly.
Embarrassed, my face flushed in red as I bit my lower lip. "Oh... so you heard that, huh?" I muttered, looking down at the floor timidly.
When one person so happens to wake up in a place where he's not supposed to be, then unexpectedly discovers there's an alicorn sitting on his brown antique of a couch, he would surely stamp that as nothing more than a dream. And this wasn't just any average alicorn, either. Frankly it was Celestia's younger sister, Luna, the Princess of the Night, the pony who lowers and raises the moon. When I closely observed her hair's anatomy, hers and Celestia's sparkling manes were very alike. Only one consisted color patterns like the rainbow while the other was as extravagant as the night itself.
After our first exchange of words (while I had made a fool of myself during that time), I settled down next to her on the far left end of the couch and asked a question regarding to what was at hand. Turned out this was indeed all just a dream based off of a past memory. Luna explained this was her doing with the use of her magic; a unique spell which creates an alternate reality parallel to a dream. Almost like a virtual game, except powered by magic. But the touching, sensing and smelling were astonishingly genuine! Earlier when I was washing my hands with warm water, I felt the warmth! As for the orange-scented soap? I actually smelled the fruity aroma! The distinct sound of the television? Nothing different from what I could tell.
There were, however, complications on how this seemingly differed from a standard dream, so I'll kindly spare the entire conversation and skim to what's really important.
"So, what exactly are you here for?" I inquired, my feet kicked up on the coffee table as I maintained eye contact to hers.
Luna turned her gaze to me, cracking a friendly smirk. Something that I should've been suspicious about, but didn't catch onto. "Not necessarily any reason. But my sister has spoken of you around me, and it piqued my curiosity. I have asked of her and there wasn't much information about you. All I have learned was that you're a human named Rick from another world. Is that correct?"
"Not much information about me, huh?" I crossed my arms, intrigued by this. "Well I suppose if you're actually here to learn a thing or two about me, I'll be obliged to answer several of those questions. I'll answer that first one for starters. Yes. I'm what you call a homosapien, a technical term meaning for human. And I indeed came from a planet properly known as Earth. A homeworld where me and my whole kind live."
"Interesting," muttered Luna as she stroked her chin with the base of her right foreleg leisurely. "Judging from your, er..." She then trailed off to a split second of silence. Her eyes temporarily glanced at the ground, shifting left to right at a moderate pace. She was trying to think of a word that wouldn't sound farfetched or offensive-like. "Appearance," Luna continued, "are you in any relation to a primate?"
"A pretty common thing to talk about, really," I quickly replied, expectant what one of her questions would end up being. Every movie I had seen where a human falls into an alien planet, it's always with the cliche 'humans looking like apes' concept. "We may share DNA and that bunch of nonsense, but that doesn't typically mean we share the same intellect."
"You share similar traits with a species, yet you treat them as inferiors?" Luna asked.
"In my world, we treat every animal like "inferiors"," I said, using a 'finger quote' gesture at the last word. "Say like, dogs, cats, and other sort of animal - we cater them as pets and lock them up in cages and stuff. There are people out there who experiment them for scientific purposes."
She paused for a moment. "Define what your kind actually do for these "scientific purposes"," she then did the impression of a 'finger quote' gesture with her hooves.
"Probably to discover cures for illnesses or whatever. There are other things I should not say what they do as they it might sound appalling." I replied.
"Very well," Luna nodded. "Then let's go ahead and discuss something else like..." she held her words as she stretched one of her hooves out and pointed it directly at my television monitor, "this. Is it some sort of magical, portal device?"
"A-ha-ha!" I chuckled while reaching for the television remote.
Luna cocked a confused brow at my childish response. "Why are you laughing at my question? Was it that amusing?"
"You'll have to pardon me. It's just that you're the first to have ever asked that. 'A magical portal device', good one." I mockingly snorted. Luna, on the other hand, didn't find that funny at the slightest. Shortly after noticing her stern look, I sat back up and cleared my throat. "Anyway," I began, "this thing here is called a television.
Saying that, it seemed Luna was becoming more fascinated. "A tell-a-vision? Elaborate, if you please?"
"It's an electronic device often used for visual entertainment, information or education. It receives signals from several stations and broadcasts them globally."
I blame the years of watching television for that answer. Sometimes there are many dull things in life compared to cartoons. That's why I watch them; cartoons were what made life somewhat more... cheery (if that's the word to put it) and they kept me going since. And I found it quite funny that I was living in one.
Luna still bore the look of confusion on her composure, unable to fully grasp the gist of everything I had just said.
I refrained the urge to face palm and instead hoisted the remote and pointed it at the flat-screen monitor. "You'll probably better understand it if we watch another cartoon episode. Here, why not we watch some..." I trailed off for a moment, looking at the programs that were available at the time. Considering this was based on a past memory, I couldn't help but notice the scheduled programs listed on 'Comcast's Guide'. Some of the names were easily readable and recognizable such as: Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kids Next Door (given those are my all-time favorites). Others were blurred out that they were quite impossible to decipher. This was, after all, a supposed dream, and based on several facts I've read on about the human mind; when dreaming, things will appear and act a bit out of the ordinary, very much like how a person wouldn't see him or herself in a mirror.
I bothered clicking on the next episode of Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy. The screen slowly came alive as the memorized cartoon's theme played. It was nostalgia all over again, and my lips couldn't help but perk a small smile.
"This is a prime example of 'good' cartoons," I started. "A shame it got cancelled right after they made a movie of it."
"Cancelled?" Luna questioned. "As in discontinued?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Not exactly sure why. But it sure was heck of a blast watching every single season of the series."
"I know it seems a bother of me to ask this but explain to me abo-"
Before she could speak any further, I stretched an arm out to stifle her for just a moment. "Hold on," I interrupted, "this is one of my favorite parts!"
On the screen there was Eddy, the shortest kid of the trio, with a square head so flat you could practically stand a glass on top of it, carrying some sort of machine strapped to his back, holding a hose of some sort.
"What's a winter without a snow job, eh sockhead? Get it? Snow job!" Eddy repeated, ensuring that his skinny yet brilliant friend, Double D (his name's actually Edd, but since there's another 'Ed', they preferred pronouncing him 'Double D' to prevent any confusion) got the joke.
This was where I started snickering uncontrollably. No matter how many times this was seen, the jokes never got old. I was very thankful I grew up to this generation of cartoons before Cartoon Network decided to air some garbage that you'd call cartoon television. 'Adventure Time' and 'Regular Show' weren't that bad, actually. It's programs like 'Johnny Test' that make me want to throw up. So bad of a show, I would throw up twice just to clarify my hatred towards it.
In unison, Luna laughed with. I wasn't certain if it was because she literally understood it, or she didn't want to be that "person in the crowd" and be left out. Aside from her being a pony, it felt quite nice having somebody around to talk cartoons with. She was having fun, and I was having fun. I guess you could say... that I enjoyed having company despite my cynical behavior.
As time went on, hour after hour, we both had a delightful time watching television. Even if it's just ran on by memory, it was still a great time.
After a while (ten episodes to be precise), Luna stretched her hooves wide and exhaled a tired yawn. "Well, Rick, it sure has been pleasant spending some time with you, but I must now depart for my time here is at an end."
"Really?" I said while getting up from the couch, arching my back until a resounding pop happened. "Jeez, time sure flies by." I weakly groaned. "I also agree that's been fun. And that's saying something."
"Hm, hm," Luna hummingly chuckled. "Well, I guess this is goodbye. Again, it's been a pleasure speaking to you. Perhaps next week I'll pay another visit." She said with a playful wink.
"I'll be looking forward to it, then. See you later."
Waving farewell, the alicorn's horn brimmed with a magical aura and in a flash... she was gone.
This was definitely going to be a dream worth writing down...
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it's a dream and it's luna.
3194489 OR TRIXIE cause she's the only one who speaks in third person. Luna gave up the old Third Person type and went to first person.
3195875 doesn't mean luna wouldn't speak it if she just spoke without thinking. and when you see something funny that usually happens. and btw trixe never said "we" or "us" she always said trixie.
3195882 Oh yeah. Never mind then.
3195887
haha no worries, we both thought something different and it's fine.
3195899
trixie: This entertainment amuses trixie!
luna: This entertainment amuses us!
It's luna!
3204482 Oh shit, my suggestion is coming up. YES!
Esto me agrada un chingo
escribe mas guey y Nightmare Moon es el mejor
(I like this a-lot, write more fool also Nightmare Moon is the best pony)
=^-^=
So... like, is trixie like bored. or is celestia getting bored and decides to masquerade. Or has discord finally lost his mind. Sorry, found it?
Tune in next time in god knows when when the author decides to grace us with another chapter of this chapter of this guys life.
Life's so weird isn't it?
Also, first chapter i've seen where all the comments are upvoted lol (cept mine ofc)
3233469 Part Two will be submitted within another week, probably. As for the mysterious character, since everybody has figured it out, it's Luna. I'm glad you guys are interested in this story, despite it being a typical HiE concept.
Heh heh, I do have a thing for upvoting people's comments. Just shows how much I like them and how I pay close attention to their opinions and stuff.
Speaking of which, is there anything you'd like for me to write on a future chapter? I had noticed you commented a thing with 'punching Celestia in the face' and I figured (for comical reasons) I should do something similar to that. Feel free to give out a suggestion because I'm more than willing to fulfill that request.
3234598 1. WAY TO GIVE IT AWAY YOU DOOF!
2. Oh how nice of you
3. Well the problem with most HiE's is that they will run out of ideas eventually unless, like diaries of a madman, the story actually started out with a main goal. Since yours started out with the end of a resolution not much can happen. However, i do have a fondness for prank wars
3235626 Rest assured, things will get a lot more interesting once we find out if Rick gets his house permit or not. That, and he'll certainly be having a heck of a time dealing with pony-related issues (including a milf pony we are adequately aware of).
3235754 well i have a shit ton to do. over the course of 2 weeks my favs has increased from 200 to 275 and i'm trying to blaze through it. it is 141 am and i'm still at it
Oh damn I was worried for a moment! xD but since its a dream and the voice has the 3rd person talking going on its luna most likely ^^ and thats pretty good that he has a sort of friendship with discord :) I never read a story of a human actually befriending discord (while still being good) though perhaps you can expand on that some time :D