My Dear Shy - Life in Equestria

by Keeper-of-Harmony

Chapter Fifteen

"I'll be in the bathroom to get ready," Twilight says as she heads into the bathroom, towing the pink suitcase with her magic.

I decide to wait by scrutinizing my surroundings, starting with the quaint-looking furniture scattered around the room:

There is a fancy queen sleigh bed sitting against the left-hand side of the room's wall, complete with sheets and dotted with pillows. At the opposite end of the room is a stained glass window depicting a majestic white dove with its wings spread, glowing radiantly from the sunlight outside. Fetching. Oddly situated on the right of the window is an antiquated, bookless bookshelf. It seems rather pointless to have an empty bookshelf. But who's to say I'm a critic, right? Then to the right of it is your average, four-legged wooden round table and your average wooden three-legged stool.

And, well, that's rather about it other than the lack of wallpaper and a few counterfeit paintings that vaguely resemble Earth's like the Mona Lisa.

Except they're... ponified.

I bury my face into the palm of my right hand, shaking my head. "Seriously?" I grumble.

A couple of minutes later, the bathroom door slowly opens with a tedious squeak. Turning to the noise, my vision is graced by an alicorn adorning purple regalia. And... yeah, that's about as much as I could jot down when it comes to meticulous gowns. Who do you think I am? Pierre Cardin? There on her forehooves are golden-plated shoes much like Celestia's.

Anyway. The moment I saw her, I was utterly speechless. No, really. Speechless as in that I didn't know what to say about her dress. But given it's a dress regardless, I blurt out the first compliment that quickly comes to mind.

"Nice outfit," I say.

I could hear an imitation slap to the forehead withinside my cranium. 'Smoooooth move, Romeo,' my brain snarks.

As if you could do better!

'I would, but it would contain expletives.'

Then keep your damn mouth shut.

"Outfit?" Twilight asks, confused.

Snapping back to matters at hand, a tiny drop of sweat trickles down my temple. "Err. No, no." I shake my head. "Let me rephrase. What I meant to say was... uh," I trail off into a contemplative pause to come up with a better compliment.

'Divine. Ravishing. Gorgeous. Amazing. Fabulous,' my brain barrages me an array of choices.

"Beautiful," I quickly say. "What I really meant to say was that you look beautiful!"

Twilight holds a hoof to her cheek, looking away with a flushed visage. "R-really?" she queries, bashful.

'Mmm. Cliche. But nice recovery nonetheless. I probably would've gone with sexy.'

Paying no mind to that absurd suggestion, I approach Twilight nonchalantly, kneel on my left knee in front of her, lift one of her forehooves with an assiduous hand and smooch right on the tip of the shoe. I'm not being flirtatious. I'm being gentlemanly. There's a difference.

"I'd be downright lying if I said you weren't," I say, giving her hoof another gentle peck while my eyes remain fixed on hers. This elicits a giggle from the blushing alicorn.

"My, you're such a flatterer," Twilight remarks.

'Sheesh. You practically have her head over heels for you.'

Correction: head over hooves. And here I thought you had the brains.

What follows after that is pure silence you could practically hear the ellipsis.

Here are the scores. Me: a big fat number one. Brain: zilch.

I let go of her hoof and stand up. "I reckon we should get a move on," I suggest. I begin walking towards the door, pull it wide open and bow down low gentlemanlike. “After you,” I say with a smirk.

Twilight trots on with a grateful smile. “Such a gentlecolt,” she says as she passes by.

I would’ve corrected her, but I instead perish the thought and close the door on the way out. Back in the vacant hallway, the two of us stroll down the way we came. When we've returned to the central area of the palace, there are five of the girls and baby dragon, all properly dressed up for the coronation. As I've stated before, I have no education for fashion, so I'll skip scrawling the details to save my journal a page or two.

When we have arrived at the central area and saw that everyone is well-prepared for the ceremony, Twilight thoroughly examines each of them and breathes in and out. "Alright, girls, it's almost time," she says. "If I may share a few sentimental words, I want to say that I am very proud to have such great ponies to call as friends." I silently look at the smiling girls, small blushes radiating from their dimples. "Whatever happens today, just remember that I will still be the egghead librarian," there I titter, "everypony knows and loves, princess or not, and you girls, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, will still be my most beloved friends."

A chorus of heartfelt Awws fill the room as the girls including Spike huddle together and give the alicorn a group hug.

"And may it stay that way for the rest of our lives," Rarity says.

Twilight peers over her shoulder to look at me. "There's enough room for one more."

I refuse politely with a waving hand. "I'm fine standing over here. 'Preciate the offer, though."

"Aw come on, Ricky!" Pinkie Pie pipes up. "The more the merrier!"

"I told y- Ack!" a pink extremity that stretches to comically-exaggerated proportions rings around my arm and whisks me right into the group hug instantly, nearly giving me whiplash.

"The gang's all together now!" Pinkie Pie jovially exclaims.

Pinkie Pie, the next time my birthday comes around, you're not invited.

---

The anticipated, life-changing event is upon us. Specifically upon Twilight Sparkle. Anybody could imagine how stirring this has to be for her; promoted from a studious unicorn to a full-fledged alicorn that is soon to be coronated as a princess. Like her friends Twilight never expected this turn of events, and even as of today she is still slightly shocked, shocked that all her hard studying and perilous adventures with her friends have led her up to this very moment. This indeed will be -- without any traces of doubt -- the perfect day she'll never forget.

Well, so far it's been perfect.

I've repeated to myself multiple amounts of times that I need to keep calm and collected to endure the coronation and the buffet. Easier said than done! The more I've wanted the day to be over quickly, the slower time appears to tick away.

Ascending several flights of stairs, we reach a balcony overlooking the entire courtyard in front of the palace. There, I have a crystal-clear view of the buildings of varying shapes and sizes, far as the eye could see. Such a view somewhat reminds me of the city, and all I'd have to do is slap in some refineries, bums, BK, and it'd be the spitting image of it.

Up high in the cloudless sky is Celestia's sun, shining vibrantly bright that gives everything it touches color and life. The air is also crisp and cool, just how it should be for this momentous occasion. Squinting, I see the silhouettes of the pegasi guards soaring across the blue yonder, like a flock of bloodthirsty hawks ready to strike should things go awry. Finally, I proceed on to the end of the platform and rest my hands on the pearly-white stone railings. The warmth seeped in the railings are pleasant to my fingers and palms. I carefully lean forward and gaze down at the cheering horde of ponies below and wince at how far of a drop it is from the balcony to the ground, so I backpedal a few steps until I'm with the girls again. There are times that I forget my fear of high places. Acrophobia, if memory serves.

Speaking of which, heh, y'know two weeks ago when I complied to be Dinky's temporary dad on Father's Day? Boy did Ditzy have a funny story to tell. To make a long story short, she once knew a pegasus in her filly years who had acrophobia! Can you imagine how ludicrous that is? A winged creature who is afraid of heights. I never thought I'd laugh so hard.

Moving on. One of the girls, Applejack, happens to have noticed my reaction at the railings. "Not a fan of high places, I reckon?" Applejack asks with a playful grin.

I look down and shoot her a deadpan stare. "Brilliant observation skills, Applejack," I answer sarcastically. "What gave it away?"

"Well ya scurried back here right after you peered over the railings. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out," Applejack counters smugly.

I open my mouth to spit a comeback but the small rational part of me knows she's in the right here so I close my mouth, accepting defeat. Touche, Freckles. Touche.

"It's okay, Father," my daughter says consolingly. "Back when I used to be a filly, I had a fear of heights."

Oh... now I feel ashamed for laughing at Ditzy's story...

"So, uh," I begin, quickly changing the subject, "you all know where the other princesses are at?"

"We're right here, Rick," answers a feminine voice from behind.

Speak of the devil...

I whirl around to see Celestia, Luna, and Cadance emerge from the shadows and onto the balcony's platform with gentle smiles plastered on their faces. The girls and dragon bow their heads low. Fluttershy then gestures me to do the same, so I acquiesce by bowing low as well. It's also about damn time that I finally get to see Cadance in person since Twilight told me so much about her.

From what I recall, she's the Princess of Love who rules an empire of crystals, I think, and is married to Twilight's older brother. She, too, is an alicorn. A pink one at that. Her mane consists of three solid streaks of white, dark purple and magenta. The cutie mark embedded on her flank is a crystalline heart with multiple mirror-like facets around its center. Her lavender eyes gleam once she's seen Twilight, and then she saunters over to give Twilight a quick hug.

"Thank you all for being courteously patient," Celestia says, beaming at us gratefully. "There were matters that had to be attended, but now that it's been settled we can carry on with the ceremony."

The celestial mare trots up to the edge of the balcony, her prismatic mane flowing gracefully in the wind. Although what's really the difference when it already flows without it? I watch as Cadence goes up after her, then Luna. When Luna passes me by, however, she gives me a wink. I reciprocate by nodding with a smirk. The Princess of the Night acknowledges and moves on to the balcony with the other two alicorns.

Gladly nobody has caught the exchange as it would be sort of awkward for me to explain, anyway.

Celestia stands fully upright, gracing everybody her royal presence. Her subjects below cheer their hearts out, hooves stomping on the ground that my feet can feel the small vibrations. The celestial mare raises a hoof, and everyone immediately goes dead silent in a snap. Such obedience. I'd bet Celestia could make them fetch or play dead, too.

"Fillies and gentlecolts," Celestia loudly proclaims with thunderous enthusiasm. "We are gathered here today for a glorious ceremony! My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has done many extraordinary things since she's lived in Ponyville."

I'm sure having a crush on a human counts as one of them, My brain snarks.

'Oh for the love of God,' I mentally groan.

"She even helped reunite me with my sister, Princess Luna." Celestia looks at her sister fondly for a brief moment before turning back to the multitude of her equine subjects. "But today Twilight Sparkle did something extraordinary."

Gee, to say her student has done extraordinary things twice must definitely be extraordinary.

'If only you have a neck I'd strangle you right now,' I threaten.

Celestia continues her speech. "She created new magic, proving without a doubt that she is ready to be crowned Equestria's newest princess."

Princess of B-

'Don't you dare finish that sentence or I will jump off this balcony.'

"Fillies and gentlecolts, may I present for the very first time," and on that line Twilight slowly advances toward Celestia, wings unfolded, "Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight joins the other princesses in a horizontal line, with Spike who is carrying a gold tiara studded with sapphires and a magenta star-shaped gem reminiscent of Twilight's cutie mark as he walks beside her, putting on the happiest smile for everybody to see. Celestia uses her magic to lift the crown and rest it on Twilight's head.

The sound of cheering, whistling and stomping erupt from the roaring crowd louder than ever before that it is almost deafening. They wave their hooves in the air as colorful streamers and confetti rain from the sky. Twilight, speechless, makes a toothy smile and waves down at the ponies in return.

Celestia lends a hoof on Twilight's shoulders, whispering something in her ear. Twilight's lips form an 'o' before clearing her throat.

"A little while ago, my mentor and teacher, Princess Celestia, sent me to live in Ponyville. She sent me to study friendship, which is something I didn't care much about," Twilight says, turning halfway to see her friends sentimentally. "But now, on a day like today, I can honestly say," Twilight fully faces her friends, motioning them forward with a hoof, to which they oblige. Except me, of course, for I stay put. "I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the friendships I made with all of you. Each one of you has taught me something about friendship and for that... I will always be grateful." Twilight swivels to the crowd once more. "Today, I consider myself the luckiest pony in Equestria. Thank you, friends. Thank you, everypony!"

The ponies cheer for possibly the third and hopefully the last time since my eardrums are beginning to ache. Trumpets playing, drums drumming, Twilight heads back into the palace. Meanwhile, at the threshold between the balcony and palace, my brain has an unsettling thought.

Why do I have the heavy feeling a song is coming on...?

'You're getting worried over nothing. I mean, I don't feel it, so I know it's not going to happen.'

Actually...

'What? What is it?'

I'm slightly certain there's a thing called reprise.

'Meaning...?'

Reprise means a repeat of music.

'Oh. Surely the writers wouldn't dare t-' I bite my tongue when an ominously familiar feeling forces it's way up from the recesses of my stomach to the upper-left part of my chest. '...Fuck my life.'

---

Today has been a tug of war between eventful and uneventful:

I haven't eaten lately.

I got sucked into a musical number. Twice...

My embarrassing suit.

The stares and snickering because of said suit.

All those misfortunes combined have put me in such a sour mood as of late, but I try my hardest to bottle it in.

Just relax, Rick. Keep it together. You've still got about maybe a couple of hours until this is over, then you go back to your daughter's home and enjoy some peace and quiet. Well, as much peace and quiet as one can get with a cottage full of squawks, hisses, chirps, roars, and howls and so forth...

But everything isn't all that bad. After all, all that patience will graciously soon reward me...

"Food!" I say as I gawk at the assorted row of giant round tables loaded with delectables and appetizers far as the hungry eye can see: Mashed potatoes. A plethora of steamed veggies. Buttered biscuits. Cupcakes, and other tantalizing varieties of pastries. Pasta. And so much more!

I'm practically salivating that I use a wrist to wipe the excess drool off the corner of my mouth. If my stomach had a face, it's probably shedding a tear of joy right about now. Instead, it growls in eagerness. I happily share the sentiment as I rush for one of the tables.

I'm not even sure where to even begin. Since my patience has already been thinned, I slowly -- ever so agonizingly slowly -- reach a hand for the biscuits. They look so fresh I'll bet they're even heavenly soft. Just as I am inches away from grabbing the biscuits a swift yellow hoof smacks my hand away.

"Yeow!" I yelp as I quickly retreat my hand to my stomach.

"No, bad Father," Fluttershy softly scolds me like I'd been a spoiled puppy that got into the treats. "We don't use our hooves or hands. That's what the tongs are for. But you need to take a plate first."

I'm going to outright admit that my dear Shy can be rather intimidating when she gets pretty stern.

"Yeesh, you don't hold back," I remark. I hiss as I gingerly rub the red mark with my other hand. It doesn't stay there for long, but man did it sting. Fluttershy smiles and carefully takes the topmost plate from a short tower of plates with her wing.

It's marveling and yet somewhat disturbing to me how Fluttershy can skillfully use her wings like a giant pair of hands...

I sigh and grab the next topmost plate from the stack and slowly shuffle in the orderly line next to my daughter with the other snobby, rich ponies who, to no one's surprise, are giving me those irritating stares. They even so as much as scowl when I'm nowhere near touching them. I keep myself composed and collected because, at this point, I'm beginning to care less and less of what they're supposedly thinking and focus solely on filling up my stomach.

My dear Shy, ahead of me, lends me the tongs for the biscuits. I accept the tongs and use them to grab two biscuits. I lower the tongs back on the table and aim for the scooping soup spoon next to a bowl of mixed steamed veggies and scoop some for my plate.

When I have gathered enough food on my plate, including a slice of Applejack's famous apple pie that I overheard some ponies say it's to die for, Fluttershy and I sit down at a table with the rest of the gang who had a large table reserved for all of us. The ponies did mention the ingredients that were in the pie, but I didn't bother sticking around long enough to find out.

As I sit down, I unfold a napkin with silverware in it. With a fork in hand, I begin to chow down on the steamed veggies first while the ponies and baby dragon are having an animated conversation about today's experience. They take small bites of their food in between their chatter. My eyes are spellbound to my plate and nothing else, but from time to time I would glance up and see the ponies smiling and giggling. The sour mood I've developed is melting away as I hear the buoyant sounds of their chatter and laughter.

This is... nice. It's times like this I'd regret having lived those years alone and bitter when life had so much more to offer such as this. Now here I am, sitting at a table surrounded by these ponies that consider me their friend. Strangely enough, I feel the same way.

My dear Shy takes notice of the smile stretching across my face and smiles too. I also take notice of it and look back down at my food with a faint blush. My daughter giggles and goes back confabulating with her friends amicably. I stay quiet most of the time as I don't want to interrupt or get too absorbed in the chat when there are leftovers on my plate. The evening continues on like that.

Eventually, I manage to clean up my plate save for the slice of pie. I hold it off until the food can settle inside my stomach. Since I've nothing better to do, I listen on and find out they're currently talking about music and their favorite instrument.

Pinkie Pie has an interest in drums, which is unprecedented. To me, anyway.

Rainbow Dash, obvious as it was, has a major likeness for electric guitars.

Applejack being the banjo.

Fluttershy shyly expresses her interest in the tambourine.

The piano for Rarity.

As for Spike, he had to give it a moment's pause before declaring the bass.

And that only leaves...

"Well..." Twilight begins thoughtfully. "I do like classical and instrumental, so I'd have to say... the violin."

The violin, huh? I remember that I took violin classes when my foster parents, especially my foster mother, homeschooled me. She was heavily insistent that I'd become a musician.

"You did, Father?" Fluttershy asks, acting genuinely surprised.

I blankly stare at Fluttershy. Then I blink. "What?"

"I didn't know you played the violin, Rick," Twilight says, pleasantly surprised. I blink again.

Did I seriously just speak my mind out? That was not supposed to come out of my mouth. It is at this moment my insides begin to feel like ice as I nervously look at the mares. Their undivided attention to me, they each have profound curiosity bored on their expressions.

A drop of sweat trickles down my temple. "I-I never said a thing l-like that," I stutter with a nervous grin. "I said that I like violins, too. You guys must have misheard." Much as I have tried to act sincere and convincing, none of the girls seem to have bought it.

"I'm pretty sure we heard you say you used to play the violin," Rainbow Dash points out.

"You've got to play it for us!" Pinkie Pie encourages.

"I agree with Pinkie," Twilight says enthusiastically. "I think everypony here wants to listen to you play."

"Uhh..." I open my mouth to oppose, but that's when...

"Please, Father. I would love to hear how you play."

I frown upon hearing that plea and — though my brain strongly told me not to — look to my daughter. The minute I did, she's staring up at me with those puppy-dog eyes one cannot just say no to. I clutch my chest with a grimace. Why must you be so damn adorable, Fluttershy?!

"Fluttershy I'm-" I try to speak.

My daughter then brings her forelegs together, her pupils dilating as they sparkle. "Pretty please?" Fluttershy pleads with that squeaky smile of hers.

Insert obligatory 'heart explodes due to cuteness overload' cliche.

"I would my dear Shy," I say, struggling to keep myself from submitting to that face of hers, "but since I never brought one from Earth-"

"Here you go!" Pinkie Pie exclaims cheerily as she gently shoves a violin to my chest.

"Wait, wha- Pinkie!" I stammer, gaping. "Where did you even-"

"Play it, play it!" Pinkie Pie says, her bubbling excitement drawing lots of unwanted attention. Everything falls into utter silence.

I can feel my heart nearly jumping out of my chest due to overwhelming anxiety as many of the ponies that were minding their own business are now pinning their attention to me and only me. I start sweating bullets. I'm even creating a puddle on the pearly-white floor. Some of the ponies talk amongst themselves in hushed whispers. I can tell they're already being judgemental, and the pressure is building up on me. I... I don't know if I can do this... This is just like that time...

"Go, Rick!"

Wait a second... that voice...

I look for the one who cheered for me and, to my shock, it's Ditzy Doo sitting at a couple of tables down from where I'm at.

"Yeah, go Daddy!" Dinky shouts.

I don't know how, and I don't know why, but after hearing them cheer for me has helped me gain some confidence, enough so that I manage to stand. However, I'm not completely certain that I can still play, that is until Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Spike, Twilight and my daughter whisper their encouragement: that I am going to do splendidly. That I can do this.

My daughter brushes her hoof on my knee soothingly for extra encouragement. I smile with a nod.

I close my eyes, and everything fades into a black void. But the strangest thing is... I can see my daughter and her friends; there is nobody else but them under a brilliant ray of light. The harsh, rapid beating of my heart reverts to its natural rhythm. My anxiety vanishing, I inhale through my nostrils and then...

"Breathe out," I whisper as I open my eyes. My lips perk into a confident smile.

Memories of my lessons race through my mind:

I assume a posture, supporting the violin with my left shoulder as I place the left side of my jaw on the chinrest of the instrument. I carefully tune the violin with my fingers as I hold the bow in the same hand. I give it a few strums and tune it a bit more. When it is tuned to my liking, I gingerly plant my fingers on the neck's strings.

I furrow my brow as I contemplate on the solo of a choosing. To be honest, I've only learned how to play two. One being of Samvel Yervinhan, and the other Lindsey Stirling. I pick the former. I glance at a pianist pony across the room and nod at him. Thankfully the pony nods understandably and turns to face the keys, hooves at the ready.

And here, I start playing.

It starts off slow, and the pianist follows the mood pretty well. Many of the ponies that had doubts have their jaws partially slacked, whether from astonishment or plain shock, as I continue playing purely based on muscle memory.

My daughter is simply captivated, along with Twilight and some of her other friends. Except for Rainbow Dash who is mumbling something. Pinkie Pie plants the flat of her hoof on the blue pegasus' muzzle.

I cast a brief glance at Ditzy and Dinky. Dinky is just sitting there with a bright smile, all the meanwhile Ditzy's eyes are half-lidded as she looks at me dreamily.

Finally, I finish. As I lower the instrument, the ponies clop their hooves in soft applause with approving smiles. My daughter and her friends express their appraisals with whistles and shouts. This feeling I'm having right now... Just what is it? I can't describe it in words. It's... foreign to me.

"That's the sense of accomplishment, Darling," Rarity says.

I cock a brow. "Did I seriously just blurt my thoughts out loud again?" I ask.

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. What matters is your audience! Bow!" Pinkie Pie says.

Facing the crowd, I make a short bow not just to them but also to the pianist. The pianist bows to me in-kind before trotting off for presumably a drink. Speaking of which, I sit back down to chug up my untouched glass of water. Man was I thirsty. And hungry.

I snatch the apple pie I left on my plate and shove it in my mouth and munch on it before swallowing in the span of seconds. Now that, there, is a good pie despite how petite it was.

"Going to admit, Applejack, that pie of yours is..." Suddenly my stomach loudly growls, and not in a pleasant or good way. I immediately push myself away from the table, rushing for the bathroom. To my rotten luck... I couldn't make it.

---

Man. That had to be the worst, embarassing day of my life... I really shouldn't have eaten too much at the buffet. I also shouldn't hav- Oh jeez just a second.

...

Ugh. Sorry for the pause there. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to cut this short because I am rather unwell at the moment. Allow me to shed some light: it was right after I impressed everybody with my violin solo that I ate Applejack's "famous" apple pie.

That's when everything went horribly, horribly wrong. For some odd reason, my stomach was churning, unpleasantly, when I ate that slice of Applejack's apple pie. The effect was worsened due to the fact I was full... To keep the gross level at a minimum, let's just say that the servants had to clean up my leftovers that were splayed out across the floor.

When my dear Shy asked Freckles what was in that slice after the incident, well it turned out that they were baked with... Hay. I wasn't sure if it was an allergic reaction or what, but damn my stomach did not like it at all. I also discovered that compared to Pinkie Pie's baked goods was that the pink mare doesn't use hay in her ingredients. She admitted hay "takes the sugary sweetness out of them". Well that explained everything- Hold up...

...

Ergh. Aside from ruining everyone's appetite at the buffet, and slashed the hopes on making a good impression, I was immediately guided home by my daughter and will be treated under her care. Bless her. Just bless her. Right now I am writing this journal in the bathroom where I've been hurling whatever's left in my stomach minutes before bed. Hey, I had to write this down one way or another.

"Alright, Father," Fluttershy coos from behind the bathroom door outside, "it's time for bed, but not before you take your medicine."

I raise my head from the toilet -- which is oddly a sitting toilet this time, yet I'm not going to complain -- and wiped off some drool from my bottom lip. "Be right out," I say. From now on, only eat Pinkie Pie's bakery.

Comments

[ObamnaSoda]

Does Rick turn himself into a pickle in this story? That would be the funniest shit I’d ever see

[Viper Pit]

I feel bad for Rick at the end

[Mr Swanky Hat]

10139099
At least he isn’t a pickle

[The Correspondent]

aaand the video is unavailable...

[Keeper-of-Harmony]

10374973
I just checked after being notified of your comment. It is a mighty shame the video was removed.