Book of Pink

by Homeshine

How To Appear Everywhere

"Hello" Pinkie cheerfully popped her head in a basement window, "I'm off for the day. How do you like your present so far?"

"It's really interesting," Twilight honestly said. "I'm really drawn to it. It speaks from the heart. Thanks, Pinkie," Twilight smiled up at the equally grinning pink face, "Doesn't your neck hurt doing that?"

"Nope! Any way in is a good way in! Have you gotten to that bit, yet?"

Twilight blinked, "Um. Yes, actually." She'd read those words not fifteen seconds before. How did Pinkie KNOW?!

Well, might as well ask her, "Is it in the book later? How do you keep showing up that way?"

"Oh, it's easy." Pinkie tried to shove herself through with her hind legs. For a moment, it was obviously not going to work, then Pinkie gave an extra 'Oomph' and came tumbling inside.

"This is becoming an interactive story!" a very upside-down Pinkie said, as Twilight gently helped her up.

"This is how you do it. First, you think about where you want to be."

Twilight gently nodded. This is how her own Teleportation spell began.

"Second, you think of the shortest way to get there."

Twilight continued nodding more vigorously. This part she knew well.

"Then, C: You think about all of the things between you and there."

Twilight grinned again.

"Finally, you think of all the other ways you could go that you were missing, instead."

"What?"

"What's happening in those places? Are they lonely?"

Twilight couldn't quite grasp this sudden change of course. Her mind mentally tacked hard to port, right over a waterfall.

Twilight slowly repeated, "Are those places … lonely?"

Pinkie nodded earnestly. "Sometimes you think you need to go right in the front door. But nopony seems to think about the other ways. Is where you're going in the back? Go in the back door! It's much quicker. Is where you're going on the second floor? Go in a window. Dashie taught me that one!"

Twilight imagined how Rainbow must have taught Pinkie that specific trick; probably involving high velocity.

Pinkie laughed as she continued, "Anyway, you never know. Some ways take a bit more effort. But the extra effort is worth it. If nothing else, it surprises them!" With that, Pinkie hopped up, clutched the windowsill, stuck her head out, and in an excellent explanatory demonstration of her technique, wriggled, squirmed, oomphed, and plopped her way outside again. "The book tells you all about it! Happy reading!" Pinkie giggled off into the sunset.

Twilight looked up. Wait, the sun was setting? Just when it was getting good!

But Twilight smiled.

"G'night Spike!" Twilight gently tucked in the still-sleeping dragon on her way out the door.

She'd hadn't pulled an all-nighter to read a book since unicorn school, but this … this was too good to pass up. She grabbed up her nectarine lantern in her mouth, up the stairs, and marched outside into the twilit darkness, placing it on a stump. As the fireflies crowded around the dish of sweet nectar inside, the lantern started to give off its familiar citrine light. Not even waiting for the lantern to fill, Twilight continued reading in the combined soft glow of the lantern and setting sun.

She'd planned to close the lantern properly and bring it back inside. She'd planned to curl up with the book in bed, as she used to. She'd planned to stay up all night in there.

Not out here.

Without even realizing, the tired eyes combined the words with dreams, until at last Twilight fell asleep with her hooves tucked underneath her, cherubically on the grass, softly dreaming dreams of Pink.

Comments

[catluvr2]

I'm really looking forward to the next update!

[Alpha Scorpii]

A book about how to be Pinkie? Ok, you got me hooked I'm waiting for the next chapter.

[Snuggie88]

Tootles

dc338.4shared.com/img/Qbey2m90/s3/toodles.gif

[Archivist Nightwatch]

Loving it. Twilight must learn the art of pinkie chaos.

[Starlight Jimmer]

Make the chapters long, much MUCH longer. I'm loving it, 4 out of 5 PINKS

[Twinkletail]

I agree that longer chapters would be nice. I'm enjoying this so far regardless! Keep up the good work!

[Isumo1489]

Oh sweet Celestia...I was wondering if someone would try to create a Method of Pinky's Madness. I am now, as of this moment, following this story with the intensity of a Lazar Bear!! ...yes, you read that right, Lazar BEAR! As in, next step above Ursa Major, instead of starlight, I'm talking CONCENTRATED LIGHT!!!

...Yes, I have issues, but then again, I've been trying to get into Pinky's head since I joined the fandom...suffice to say, results have been mixed...though I do take opportunities to breach OUR 'Fourth Wall' as it were. Mind you, no idea if anybody is really watching, but just the action is hilarious and tends to confuse people...mission accomplished.

I encourage your work, and if you need ideas so far out there, you'd wonder if I was playing Mad Libs while on some kind of mind-expanding drug? Let me know, I've got a free Sunday.

[IcanConfuse]

So far so good, despite the current shortness I find myself looking forward to what might come next.

[Brother Roga]

I want to see a chapter where Twilight realizes how Pinkie Sense actually works!

[reader238]

2349323 i think she will automatically develope it after reading the book

[GordonFreebrony]

Do you not know that there is no Unified Theory of Pinkie? Tartarus, in order to even try to develop one, you must first find the legendary Pink Hugson, using a Large Atomic and Magic Collider, focused on discovering pure, concentrated randomness. After doing so, you must then form a mathematical, magical equation on how to find exactly what you are looking for the moment you need it, and then bake everything you have discovered so far into a cupcake. Eat said cupcake, then begin to pop up in the most random places you can think of. Then repeat the whole process, sans eating the cupcakes, until you have a large enough amount to host a large party, with the only snacks being those cupcakes and a bowl of punch. You must then invite the entire research team to said party, which you must set up by firing the decor and food out of a canon until they fit perfectly in the surrounding area. (According to Chaos Theory, the REAL one, not Discord's, this is entirely possible, if highly improbable) Finally, once everyone has partied themselves into oblivion, the unified theory of Pink will begin to form. You have to repeat this process every day, from now until the project is complete, otherwise the theory will begin to unravel before your eyes. Additionally, write down each and every piece of the Theory onto whatever you can find, and don't bother about trying to make it fit in mathematically. It will appear, given time, in its proper form...

And I went WAAAYY to far with this, didn't I?

[SgtFrog]

I'm starting to understand Pinkie's "teleportation". The unexpected is funny (usually). You see an elephant in the zoo? Not really funny. You see an elephant in your classroom? That's pretty funny (and unexpected!). Pinkie is able to use the Element of Laughter to teleport anywhere it'd be funny. Usually, this means appearing in, you guessed it, unexpected places.

[Frugs]

2346038
Your profile photo stares into my very soul.

[Frazzled Pony]

Wow, for a moment there I thought Pinky's being everywhere worked by some demented form of applied statistics. That made me laugh.

I'm such a nerd, aren't I?

[TheGreatEater]

. For a moment, it was obviously not going to work, then pinkie gave an extra 'Oomph' and came tumbling inside.

Cap.
_________

2351205

Nah it's easier than that. First every thought you have must be in non-euclidean fractals (the cover of her book was an example of that). Then every fractal needs to be it's own individual thought, running simultaneously and connectedly to its most inverse, counterclockwise fractal segment. Viewed through the kaleidoscope of Chaos Theory, ran on a back drop of Chaotic System Logic Operations rather than your ordinary Boolean Logic Operations.

Basically her book's cover (while pretty in pink) serves as a mathematical, and logical (?) proofs of a PCS [Pinkie Computing System].

[Inferno demon Dash]

This made me chuckle. I love Pinkie.

[My Sister Tia]

2346038

2362734
I have a similar feeling. I like it too.