Princess Celestia has banished her sister Luna to the moon when she tried to overthrow her and replace the day with an everlasting night. Now that the deed is done, Celestia faces the five stages of grief at the loss of her beloved sister. Nothing is well during the years missing Luna as the princess delves deeper and deeper into insanity. With nopony to stop nor help her, she quickly goes off the deep end.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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sorry, just all dem feels
Very poetic, but you lost my fav at, "rip their wings out."
Um...good luck,
I agree, ripping their wings out?
Too OOC.
That story picture looks like my avatar. hehe.
Sorry way too ooc, with "rip their wings out".
Hello everypony. Keep in mind this is my very first MLP fanfic so I can understand why you find this to be poor. I promise I will work on further improving my works through the critiques of the fimfiction community. I greatly appreciate your criticisms and look forward to having better stories for you to read in the future. Thank you and if you have any suggestions I will happily accept them and try to read as many as I can
I suggest you go over this a few times, there are a lot of spelling mistakes in there. Also, while capitalising entire words does sometimes work for emphasis, if you go overboard it just looks ridiculous. Better to just use italics.
forgive me, I feel that this story butchers the song a bit, and having the verses placed in between the bits of the story butchered the story. I'm not saying that the actual story is no good, it's really nicely written with a few mistakes here and there, but nothing major. Knowing that the story was based on the song, I feel that it strayed too far away from the song itself, and I personally don't like that it turned gory and she went insane, that's not to put down your creativity though, just my personal opinion. It started strong but it finished weak compared to the intensity of the rest of the story. I did like how you could feel that she was drifting, there was power where she lost it and her dreams. I say it was a good read but not something I'd read more than once, you get a like but not a fav, I would like to see what happens in the next chapter. Good start.
2337908
I didn't see that many problems nothing that most people would care about anyway and it's not overwhelming with capitalized words, although some that were capitalized I would personally use italics
lol rip their wings out. Seems legit
2337691
well let's face it, YOU HAD HER RIP THEIR FREAKIN WINGS OUT 
Look, it was a good story, I seem to be speaking for most of the other commenters when I say that it would have been quite good, very good even...but,
Two words only...
http://youtu.be/6nSKkwzwdW4
How about tearing out feathers for quills instead of outright ripping the wings off. Punishment that isn't perminant, but an example made.