New to fanfiction in general. Not much else to say.
The mane six are summoned to Manehatten by order of Princess Celestia, in order to investigate reports of unusual paranormal activity occurring within the city. But when Fluttershy becomes targeted by a demonic entity, will the power of friendship be enough to save her? Or will more drastic measures be needed? ((Loosely based on the first Ghostbusters film, with scenes added and arranged to be more 'pony-friendly'.))
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fave before read!
EDIT: i just read. And I like what I read.
This is going to be interesting.
I've never actually seen the movie (I guess I ought to now) but I'm hoping that, with the demonic possesion, that we'll be seeing some more
.
This is quite good. I don't have much to say in the way of critiquing. Good luck with your writing, and knowing Ghostbusters, this is sure to be interesting!
2335857
See it, you must!
Next time someone shouts "Who ya gonna call?" I'm going to yell, "My Little Pony, My Little Pony!" and they're going to be like " DUDE!? What the f
!?" and I'll be like 
2335773 Same ghostbusters+ ponys= 100% Awsome
2337270
Indeed and Agreed
šo yes dash in the role of Peter Vankmen lol and pinky filling in for Ray Stans..... I can see the lines now.
pinkie: sorry girls it just poped in there.
Dash: What? What poped in there pinky?
AJ: What you do Pikie!
Pinkie: the stay puff marsh mellow unicorn
cue alt mane rairty in sailor suit stomping down manhaton street!
LoL
2337284 Ghoustbusters ponies yeah /)
Why did the idea of the cmc with prton packs pop in my head?
2337328
Because that would be a farking awesome idea.
2337337 Maybe i should writ a ghostbuster pony cross for my frist story lol CMC GHOSTBOUSTERS! lol i can see it now with all 4 crusaders swetty bell scoots ab and babs as the ghost busters lol and through Trixie in for shear randomness
2337367
I'm gonna follow just to see that...
As much as I love Ghostbusters, I DON'T love it when potentially interesting crossovers are made into mere fusion fics. As in, fics which just overlay one character over another plotline.
Now... it's only got one chapter so far. That chapter is very short and incredibly fast... though to be fair, the scene in question that you're emulating was only about five minutes long maximum... and it really isn't badly written. This said, it's concerning that you said that this dragged on too long for such a short scene, since I felt that there was barely enough to qualify as a chapter here. This could have actually been extended a fair bit further. Furthermore, I felt like a couple more scenes would have been good to have given just how short and fast the chapter was.
Don't move too fast with your story. Always take time to describe things and set a mood and atmosphere for your story.
Also, try to avoid being just a fusion fic. I don't know if that's what you were intending to do, though given your description it seems to be the case... but I can tell you that such things are really looked down upon. Don't just copy Ghostbusters and then stick ponies over it.
If you're going to write a Ghostbusters crossover, instead of just taking the movie and forcing ponies into it, consider writing an original Ghostbusters story first, where the Ghostbusters do something thematically appropriate and interesting... and only AFTER that do you then replace the Ghostbusters with ponies. That way, it is more flexible to the new world in which it is set, and it also comes off as original and new, rather than basically plagiarism.
2337384 lol well i geuss i have to wright it also just to give you heads up othere storys pland are halo mlp cross, darkstalker pony, capcom fighter pony (simler to the darkstalker one only with chun-li and juri han added in), dynasty pony exstrem equestria, pony orochi, my little zeon ace, Redwing Crimsonmoon shadows of past and falling stars, and Jade and Silk growing up alicorn is crazy when in ponyville. Lol those are just the ones in planing rugh titol ideas.
Oh Gods, this is going to be GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! I'm 100% down, you have my full attention
I love that movie, need to see it again, a Rainbow seems to have a small crush on Spitfire, love that pairing, though I sensed a very small bit of Twipie, though could be wrong
Wonder what Spike's deal is in all of this, honestly hoping that this is not a Spike/Rarity (DESPISE that pairing) other then that, 100% ready for more
2337367 Oh Gods, PLEASE DO!!!
2337714Cmc ghoust busters is on my must make list check my blog lol
2337367
Entirely relevant: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/62894/Cutie-Mark-Crusader-Alcoholics%21#comment/1624529
Although I was fairly sleep deprived at the time so I didn't realize the innuendo I had made.
But yeah, someone somewhere needs to make a CMC Ghostbusters story if there isn't one already... or even if there is one already. THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE GHOSTBUSTING!
2337855Lol i think that this might be the hotest story idea i ever had CMC Ghost busters will be my opening story..... Now where did i put my ghoust buster song rcored and my record player i need music to crate the magiks.
2337774 That would be so badass....mind adding Dinky Doo as a member of the CMC? And shall do
2337367 Relevant
Manehattan? This can only mean one thing!
WILL BABS MAKE AN APPEARANCE?
If she does, instant 10/10! So far 7/10. BABS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE! At least one line!
Hm.
The chapter is rather short and rather fast paced for a story like this. Whenever I see "Adventure" as a tag and a chapter that's not even 2.5K? Same with Comedy Tag, especially coupled with adventure.
Cover Art and Name seems awfully similar to a story Bronius Maximus just posted a blog about, as well.
2337391 I had the same problem with this "chapter"; too short and just one scene.
I liked it.
Heads up, gonna be adding a couple scenes to the chapter to lengthen it later.
Side note: Yes, I understand that my writing needs improvement, but this is pretty much the first thing I've written in over five months, and the stuff I wrote before that sucked even more than this did. So bear with me, because for years I've been using around 2,000+ words for a single scene and have never been told it was 'too short'.