• Member Since 29th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 7th, 2020


“This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.”



Fluttershy’s got a teesy-weensy bit of a secret. Nothing too bad, mind you. She’s not a psychotic killer, and she definitely doesn’t do anything…dirty. Unfortunately, what she does still teeters on the rather…frowned-upon side of the law. And to make matters worse, with the Royal Guards clamping down, she needs somepony to help her out.

And that’s where Rainbow Dash comes in. Of course, soon she’ll realize doing a friend favor sometimes isn’t all that easy. Especially when that friend runs an illegal animal smuggling operation out of the country.

But hey, if she gets caught…she’ll still look pretty darn good doing it.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 45 )

Princess Luna exclaimed, a ferret nibbling on her ear.

I can already tell this is going to be good. :pinkiehappy:

I hope you don't mind but I did a reading of your fic :pinkiehappy:

Watch the playlist here (chapter 2 is going up soon :twilightsmile: )

Hey, that's pretty awesome! I'm flattered you thought this was good enough to make a whole video of it. Do you do readings of other fics too?


Mhm, I'm trying to do lots of readings on my channel. :rainbowkiss:

there on the move!


This is perfect for the atmosphere.

It's kind of odd how many fun stories begin with a bag of animals.


:rainbowlaugh: jeez Dash is getting it harsh, bitten by a rattlesnake, allergic reaction to the antivenom, multiple trips and falls and now nealry burnt alive :rainbowlaugh:

“Whoever is leading this—ouch!--must be the most cunning, devious, sneaky mastermind we have seen in a long, long time. But I will get you—ow! –you hear me! Mark my words fiend, those foals will get their zoo—ow! Mother of me, that hurt…”


The guards really
*puts on glasses*
Turned things up a notch :rainbowdetermined2:

Well duh he's fired he would have used extremely excessive force on two ponies ie cutting a bridge with people on it without knowing if they were pegasuses.

:facehoof: ugh...those puns are so bad!!

Surely there are enough guards to fix the bridge. I think Luna should take command personally, that would solve everything.

Two mice... Martin and Matthias....:pinkiegasp:

That's it, you are awesome and therefore deserve a favorite.

First one to get that. You are awesome and therefore deserve a cookie. Which I don't have. Sorry.

Here, have a mustache. :moustache:

dude, not cool.......cliffhangers afetre marathon reading all your chapters.....not cool

still gona fav and thumb up i really like where this is going

As awesome the duo FlutterDash can be kicking flanks, didn´t they ocurr that the guards have now a full description of them? And Rainbow´s mane is pretty singular.

“Oh please. We’ve got this buckin’ thing to protect the border. Besides, it’s not like trouble’s just gonna start raining from the sky or anything!”
Suddenly, there was a loud thud behind them. They turned around to see a moaning stallion lying on his back, his armor dented and his face bruised. “Oh hey, it’s Brick,” one of the guards said nonchalantly. Then, after a few seconds, a light switched on in his head.  “Oh shi—,” was all he could get out before he received a flying kick in the back of his head, sending his helmet flying.

. :rainbowlaugh: these guards are really dense.

So the next chapter begins with Rainbow waking up in the hospital from the coma she put herself into right?

I still miss Luna´s reaction to her defeat. I bet she will spend the next week in her room pouting, playing videogames and eating massive quantities of moon pies with Jeffery.:)

It just lacks the reaction of Luna about the destruction of her wall.

Ah yes. Ferrets. Of course.

I was wondering why they didn't fly over In the first place, but you covered that toward the end.


the unmerciful beasts let out a barrage,

I think merciless is the word you were looking for.

Everyone lived happily ever after, except Luna, who never caught those darned zoo smugglers.

This story was funny as hell, and not at all what I expected. So thumbs up for you, sir.

I loved this story, but please, for the love of Faust, make a proper ending that isn't so abrupt. I want to see how they avoided getting arrested when they get back, Luna's reaction, stuff like that. I don't mean to be demanding, but I don't think I'm the only one who would flip for a proper ending if you see fit to make one. Don't do it though, at least not if you don't want to.

Luna: "I'll get you next time, smugglers! NEXT time!"
Jeffrey: O_O

Just from the description, i know this is going to be one of those gem-fics which are always a genuine pleasure to read.


I literally cringed at that.

Yep, this is going to be epic.

Whoever invented the "ponies with juice boxes" thing deserves ten billion dollars.

I still don't know how I feel about this premise. It's silly. It's amusing. But it feels... wrong.

Not buying that scene with Applejack.

Trying tonkeep the cages steadier

Dat fat finger.

2703101 :facehoof: No, just..., just.... Fuck you.

This was an amazing story! The comedy, adventure, and especially the emotions were all very well done! And it followed story structure perfectly!
I also am amazed and commend you on somehow making animals full and interesting characters!

I have a story draft that starts off with news reports on the political state of Neighpal.

...the country collapses following a bloody coup and the public execution of several heads of state...

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