Furry Contraband

by UnweptSchlipps

Diabolical Mastermind

That very next day, in a very familiar apple orchard in a rural village, a blue pegasus and a yellow cowpony were chatting. They each wore a warm smile on their faces, holding mugs of cold cider in their hooves, while standing on front of a smoldering pile of what used to be a barn before it was mercilessly demolished.

“Soooo….when do we get to blow up more stuff?” Rainbow Dash said, taking a slurp of her ice-cold cider.

“I swear, sometimes I feel like the only reason y’all come around is to blow stuff up and take mah cider,” Applejack replied playfully.

After chugging the rest of her mug, Dash added, “Yup, that basically sums up our friendship in a nutshell.”

“An’ what about all those times savin’ Equestria an’ whatnot?”

“Ehh…I guess that too. And kickin’ your butt at some random competition we make up.”

Raising her eyebrow, AJ took a swig of her own drink, downing it just as fast as her pegasus friend. “Puttin’ that little insult aside, I’m really thankful you could come by an’ help me take down this barn. As it’d turn out, mah relatives ain’t too good at making buildings. Who’da thunk?”

“Yeah, no problem AJ. It isn’t every day I get to pull out the sonic rainnuke.” Rainbow Dash took a seat on a piece of wood from the pile of wreckage of her own creation. She leaned back and took in the scenery around her, the lush orchard filled with succulent red apples, the rolling hills that seemed to go on into the horizon.

And of course, the first thing that came out her mouth was, “I wonder what would happen if a buncha rainnukes went off all at once. I probably could do that too. It’d be the craziest explosion ever.”

“But you wouldn’t do that, cause that’d be wrong. And…’cause yer a big softie.”

Shooting up and puffing out her chest, Dash cried indignantly, “Softie! Ha, not me! I’m the roughest and toughest, fastest and brashest pegasus in all of Equestria! If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a softie.”

“Whatever you say, Dash.” Applejack turned around to mask the grin she held on her face. She ended up gazing at a spot in the field where the grass was flattened, as though somepony had been through there not too long ago. The cowpony’s brows furrowed as she was reminded of something that happened last night. Something extremely odd. “Hey Dash?”

“Yeah?”

“Mind if I ask you a favor?”

“No prob, AJ. What’s up?”

Applejack pointed towards the spot in the field and began, “Pretty late last night, probably around ten, I was wrangling up some cattle that got loose of the pens. But when I was by the barn, I saw somepony carrying some pretty big bags wandering in the fields.”

“Was it a thief? You want me to go rough him up?” Rainbow answered, hopping into the air, throwing mock punches.

“No…I could recognize that mane anywhere. I think…I think it was Fluttershy.”

Dash immediately ceased her mock-fighting, a dumbfounded frown spreading across her face. “Wait, Fluttershy? Our Fluttershy? The one that still gets startled by her own shadow?”

“Exactly! Which is why I thought it was odd that she was out so late.” Taking off her hat, Applejack motioned her head towards the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage, saying, “Listen, since you’ve known her longer than I have, I was hoping you could talk to her and make sure everythin’s okay.”

The pegasus gently let herself back onto the ground, seemingly taken aback. After mumbling a bit to herself, Dash asked, “Well…what do I say?”

“Just ask her how she’d been and if anything weird’s been goin’ on in her life. Think you can do that?”

After staying silent for a few seconds, Dash began to vigorously nod. “Y-yeah, okay. Okay, I can do that.”

Giving a warm smile, Applejack replied, “Yer a good friend Rainbow. Tell me what happens when yer done.”

“Wait, you mean now?”

“Yes, now.”

“Like, right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Like…right, right, right no-?”

“Fer pete’s sake, Rainbow. Just go!” the cowpony answered forcefully, giving a firm stamp of her hoof. Jolted, Rainbow hastily took off, headed towards the tiny cottage on the edge of the Everfree. And although she’d never admit it, the pegasus was a tad bit worried for Fluttershy. She was basically her best friend after all; she couldn’t help but worry.

As she watched her usually cocky friend fly off, Applejack gave a small smirk and whispered, “Ya big softie.”

xxx

Rainbow stood erect outside of Fluttershy’s cottage. In truth, she’d actually been standing there for a quite a few minutes, thinking about the facts Applejack had told her. And she was also giving herself a pep-talk, trying to psyche herself up.

Okay Rainbow Dash. I know you’re not the best at this lame ol’ comfort talk crud. But gosh darn it, if you can break the sound barrier without breaking a sweat, you can ask your friend about some weird intimate things she was doing in the middle of the night…wait. That came out wrong.

But before she knew it, her hoof was knocking on the door, seemingly by its own will. Dash could hear a tiny yelp coming from inside, followed by a muffled, “I’m coming! J-just hold on a minute!” A few more sounds came from the cottage, and Dash could have sworn it sounded like a bit of a scuffle.

Finally, the door swung open to reveal Fluttershy’s face, looking quite uncomfortable. Making an equally uncomfortable face, Rainbow Dash greeted, “Um…’sup Flutters?”

“O-oh. Hi Rainbow Dash. What are you…doing here?”

In her mind, Dash told herself, Ask if she’s alright. Ask if she’s alright. Ask if she’s alright…

“Applejack saw you stalking in the fields last night carrying a bunch of bags!”

The sentence had blurted out so lightning fast that neither pegasus knew how to react. Rainbow Dash seemed to be just as surprised as the pegasus across from her, and after processing what she had just blurted, put her hoof to her mouth.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened, and she retreated back into the cottage while mumbling, “Oh no…oh dear…”

Her curiosity now piqued, the cyan mare waltzed into the room, chirping, “What? What is it?”

“This isn’t good. This is not good.”

“Fluttershy, what’s wrong? Why were you out in the fields so late, and why did you have those bags?”

Flutttershy came up to a closed door, one that Dash never actually noticed before. Some sort of high-pitched noise was coming from behind it, but it was too muffled for Rainbow to figure out what it was. With a look of urgency plastered on her face, Fluttershy uttered, “Promise me you won’t tell anyone, Rainbow. If word got out…”

“I won’t tell anypony, I swear!” Rainbow Dash quickly replied, putting up her hooves in a salute.

Placing a leg on the doorknob, Fluttershy let out a deep breath. Her friend stood there watching the knob, her magenta eyes wide with both wonder and fear. “O-okay then,” Fluttershy reluctantly whispered. “But you might want to sit down. This is going to be….unbelievable.”

Then, holding her breath, the shy pegasus turned the knob and pushed in…

Then, realizing the door swung outwards, she pulled out…

xxx

Rainbow sat on her haunches on a ragged old couch, her mouth pulled into a huge scowl. To her left was Fluttershy, sipping mildly out of a juice box. And on her right side, as well as her front side, her backside, her hooves and her head, was a multitude of furry creatures that saw her as a chew toy. While an otter tugged on her ear, she uttered, “What the flying buck?”

“Rainbow, language please. You’re going to scare the animals.”

Plying the otter off her ear, Dash hovered upward and cried, “Scare the animals? What about you scaring the crud outta me?! I knew you cared for animals, but I didn’t know you do that!”

“I’m sorry for scaring you Rainbow,” Fluttershy apologized quietly, holding her juice box up to cover her face. “But this…is what I do.”

“So let me get this straight. What you do…is steal animals from captivity and smuggle them out of Equestria?”

Scuffing her hooves along the ground, the yellow pegasus said, “Well actually, I’m not the one who steals them. I just…get them away.

“Jeez Flutters, this is illegal!”

In a sudden burst of confidence, Fluttershy swept up the otter Dash had thrown to the ground, and with a stern tone, she replied, “But what they do to them in zoos and wildlife preserves is even worse! These aren’t just animals. They have feelings and dignity, and those zoos take that away from them. I’m just trying to take them to where they rightfully belong. In the wild, with their brethren.” Then, giving a fake cough, she added under her breath, “And…also I…could use the money. Caring for wildlife isn’t very cheap.”

Smacking her hoof to her face, Rainbow let out a dejected groan. “Oh gosh Flutters, what am I gonna do? I…have to tell somepony”

“But you promised not to tell anypony!”

“Then you have to turn yourself in, Flutters. This is...so bad! I can’t believe you of all ponies would do something like this. I mean just look at us! If I’m the one doing the scolding, you know we’re in serious trouble!”

Fluttershy’s eyes began to widen, a sense of urgency starting to finally sink in. “Rainbow, I’m so sorry I had to drag you into this, but I’ve had nopony else to turn to. Princess Luna has begun to put more security by the borders, and it’s been getting harder and harder for me to do this by myself. So…I was wondering…maybe…”

Fluttershy didn’t need to finish that sentence. Dash was already shaking her head violently, sending a baby phoenix flying out of her mane and onto the carpet, which began to smolder. As Fluttershy began to stamp out the flame, Dash shouted, “No! Noooo way! I am not going to help you on your runs. No way. You gotta turn yourself in, Flutters, ‘cause I’m not gonna help you out.”

Hearing Dash’s fiery ultimatum seemed to send a jolt through the yellow pegasus. Her ears flattened, her head drooped, and her wings hung limp at her side. “Okay, fine. You’re right Dash, this is wrong,” Fluttershy whispered, slowly turning around with an otter and a phoenix on her back.

Pouting in the air, Dash watched as her friend despondently crept over to a pair of crates which held other animals. Seeing her friend so depressed made Dash feel…well frankly, she didn’t really know how she felt. Her pout had begun to soften a little, her icy stare starting to show signs of cracking.

Then suddenly, Fluttershy began to speak to the animals as she put them back in their spots, as though Dash wasn’t even there. Her voice was quivering, and her sentences were pierced by sniffles and hiccups. “W-what’s that Mr. Otter? Y-you don’t want to go back to the zoo were they make you sleep in dirty holes and mucky water? You too little Phoenix? I-I’m sorry, but you have to go back. Rainbow Dash says it’s the right thing to do. Even…even if it means starving to death in a c-cold, messy, smelly enclosure—.”

Finally, Rainbow Dash couldn’t take it anymore. Heaving a reluctant sigh, the cyan pegasus muttered, “Alright, alright! I’ll help you on your stupid run.”

Suddenly, Fluttershy whirled around with a huge smile on her face shining on her otherwise tear-less face. She raced to her friend and swept her up in a big hug, saying, “Oh, I knew you’d help me out!”

Never taking her eyes off the furry creatures scuttling all over the room, Rainbow Dash replied anxiously, “You’ve been hanging out with Discord too much, you know that?”

Comments

[Rainb0w Dashie]

I hope you don't mind but I did a reading of your fic

Watch the playlist here (chapter 2 is going up soon )

[UnweptSchlipps]

2473627
Hey, that's pretty awesome! I'm flattered you thought this was good enough to make a whole video of it. Do you do readings of other fics too?

[Rainb0w Dashie]

2474689

Mhm, I'm trying to do lots of readings on my channel.

[Csquared08]

I still don't know how I feel about this premise. It's silly. It's amusing. But it feels... wrong.