Chapter 10 - Adventure
Chapter 10
Adventure
The Last Roundup saloon, a small yet well-kept place with polished wooden floors, was virtually empty. This had nothing to do with the quality of the drinks available, the likes of which ranged from golden fresh apple juice to sweet cherry cider. Nor was its quality of service at fault, as the serving ponies were quick to take an order and even quicker to take a payment. In fact, on any ordinary day the saloon would be bustling with activity. Today, however, most of the regulars had hopped onto the next train to Ponyville in order to get a glimpse of the fabulous new shop everypony was talking about: Filthy Trix.
Had the saloon not been so empty, Lyra and Bon Bon might have been asked to leave a lot sooner.
"Look ladies, I can't let ya stay in here all day if ya don't order something," their serving pony, a young stallion with a white streak through his caramel colored mane, said. He shrugged his shoulders. "A drink, some pretzels. Anything!"
Lyra lifted her head off the table and stared bleakly at the server. "Is there anything that's free?"
The server scowled, and Bon Bon swiftly withdrew a few of her own bits and set them on the table. "We'll each have a cherry cider," she said, smiling. The server, his eyes still on Lyra, took the bits, then turned briskly and left to fetch their drinks.
"Thanks, Bon Bon," Lyra mumbled into the table. Her mood had dimmed a bit with Trixie's antics at the market, and it had grown worse when Iron Will had to take his leave in order to report back to Can't Run, Can't Hide for a status update. She and Bon Bon had been sitting at The Last Roundup and trying to think of ways to get inventory ever since.
Bon Bon leaned back in her chair and crossed her front hooves. "I can't believe that Trixie," she huffed. She leaned forward again, as if her annoyance kept her from sitting still. "She didn't leave us with anything! I doubt she can even sell half of the consumables she bought before they go bad. It would serve her right!"
Lyra lifted her head off the table as the server brought them their drinks. "She's just taking my advice to heart," she said. She lifted a mug to her lips and took a sip of the sweet cider. "I told her to do her best, and that's what she's doing. It's actually kind of nice to see her doing so well." She set the mug down and gave a little smile. "Though I guess it doesn't help us much."
Friendship can be tricky sometimes. There are times when a good friend will act in a particular way that, any rational observer would know, will undoubtedly lead him or her into more trouble than it's worth. In such times, one might be tempted to point these faults out in order to protect said friend from harm, but will then remain silent for fear of putting a dent in the relationship.
Bon Bon wasn't exactly the silent type, however.
"No," she said flatly, "it doesn't help us at all."
"It's just a bit of friendly competition," Lyra said.
Bon Bon stared at her friend, her mouth agape. "In case you haven't noticed, your friendly competition is intent on bankrupting you!" she countered.
Lyra swirled the contents of her mug around thoughtfully. "Well, I can't really have much less money than I have now, and I think her success is more important to her than my failure. Besides, hoping that somepony fails is kind of mean-spirited, and I just don't see Trixie as being that kind of pony."
The hoof that found its way to Bon Bon's face probably hit a bit harder than she had intended, if the groan was any indication. She gave Lyra a look with her uncovered eye, opened her mouth, then shut it. She finally lowered her hoof back down to the table, bit her lip, and nodded slowly.
Lyra beamed. "I knew you'd see it my way!" She blinked suddenly and squinted at the wall behind Bon Bon. "Hey, look at that," she said, pointing with a hoof. "I wonder what that's all about."
Bon Bon briefly glanced behind her, then rolled her eyes. "It's a wall, Lyra. It's all about separating the indoor areas from the outdoors."
"No no," Lyra said. She stood up from her seat and trotted over to the wall. She indicated a notice with her snout. "Have a look at this," she said. "Riches galore!" she read as Bon Bon came to stand next to her. "Bit pouch barren? Tired of the mundane and crave something more? Then come one, come all to the glorious Adventurer's Guild, where fame and fortune await!" She turned to Bon Bon, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, isn't this great? We're going to be adventurers!"
Bon Bon's eyes widened and she shook her head firmly. "Oh. No. We. Are. Not!" She lowered her head and shoved Lyra's bottom, pushing her friend slowly away from the notice. "I can think of no better way to lose not only our money," she grunted, "but our lives too!"
Lyra turned around and put a hoof on Bon Bon's shoulder. "Pinkie Pie goes out with her friends to save Equestria like every other week! If she can do it, why not us?"
"Because she's Pinkie Pie!" Bon Bon huffed. "She can walk on air, for pony's sake. You can play a lyre and I can make candy, and those are not the kind of skills that make for good adventurers!"
The sudden silence caused Lyra and Bon Bon to look around in alarm. Every pony within the Last Roundup had stopped what they were doing to listen in on their argument, and Lyra's cheeks suddenly burned. She lowered her ears and stared at the floor, unable to meet her friend's gaze. Bon Bon closed her eyes and breathed slowly out her nostrils.
"I'm sorry," Bon Bon mumbled. She gave Lyra a little nuzzle. "Why don't we go have a look anyway? Looking won't hurt, right?"
Lyra's eyes lit up, but she resisted the urge to bounce up and down. She looked at Bon Bon with what she hoped was a serious expression. "Can I have another cherry cider first?" she asked.
Bon Bon grinned. "Of course," she said. "First stop: right here for one more cider. Next stop: the Adventurer's Guild!"
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Hm. Been a while since I last saw an update to this.
Fanfiction ho! This has been updated! HUZZAH!
It's okay, I'm sure this adventure will turn up that one staple that every beginner shop needs.
Walnut bread. Seriously. Can't sell enough of that stuff, myself.
4898808
Oh my gosh that stuff is delicious. I'd completely forgotten about wall nut bread.
Featured on Equestria Daily...
While I am sure this is a good read, that little tidbit alone renders me unable to read it, sorry. It is no fault of your own.
Hey, bards are a thing, and given what earth ponies can do to pies, I wouldn't be surprised if Bon Bon had a few combat-applicable recipes.
Of course, that's not what they're going to do, but I enjoy making ponies improbably badass.
Looking forward to more.
4899168 Are you an idiot? You would avoid a story from an author, slighting this person, because you don't like a news site that featured them? That's stupid and irresponsible to the author, indeed just downright disrespectful. I didn't know your kind of pettiness existed in this fandom.
4899168 Equestria daily may be assholes in selecting stories, you shouldn't turn down reading the story because of that.
Lyra the Legolas Bard Archer?
Bon Bon the Bon Bomb Alchemist?
I see a good combination here.
Now, if anyone going to stand between us and the treasure, be prepared for a world of baked bads and dwarf bread products.
Okay so funny thing.
When the description said that this idea was inspired by Recettear, I thought at first that that was the username of some writer friend of the author's, even though at the SAME TIME, I was thinking 'huh, this synopsis kinda reminds me of that game where you run an item shop to pay off your parent's debts'.
But I couldn't remember the name. So I went to Google and typed in 'item shop videogame', and THERE WAS RECETTEAR: AN ITEM SHOP'S TALE.
Epic derp is epic.
They need to collect a bunch of oddly-shaped rocks to sell.
Ponies love oddly-shaped rocks.
Oh, this will End Well....
No no no no Lyra! You are doing it wrong!
You do not become adventurers! Much like the entrepreneurial shop-keepers who became wealthy selling supplies to desperate miners during the Klondike rush, Lyra and Bon-Bon need to open up a shop that sells equipment, tat, and assorted "magical" guff to naive adventurers. This will also put them in a prime position to fence off any loot the surviving adventurers bring back.
4899168
4899609
Asking authors to take some care with their stories and remove any mechanical errors doesn't make anyone an asshole. If anything, it's the authors who submit a story and then demand to know how EQD could possibly reject their story who are the problem, as they then have a tendency to go on and rant and rave about how unfair it all is.
I've been featured on EQD eight times. Of those eight stories, seven were initially rejected. I put in the hard work to ensure my stories would be as good as possible. Heck, even then there are still bound to be errors, but they are minimal, and it's thanks to the 'assholes' at EQD that they're as enjoyable as they are now.
To those who chose to speak out on my previous comment, thank you for your honest feelings.
My storied have all been refused by EQD, on every attempt to post them, regardless of having editors go over them and fix as many spelling and grammar errors as they could find. Their reasoning for refusal was along the lines of "Your story is shit and you are shit for writing them. You should never write another word in your life." This is the general translation of their refusal responses to my submissions. Meanwhile I have read plenty of stuff on EQD that was poorly written, full of spelling and grammar errors, poor characterization, etc etc, and they get featured.
And yet the best of my work is called shit. EQD has offended me to the level that to see a story proudly boasting they were featured on that site actually turns my stomach. As I said, it's probably a good story and a fun read, seeing that it's featured here on FiMFiction.
Anyways, that is my addendum, and I do apologize to all those who were offended by my words.
I expect a "it's dangerous to go alone, take this!" reference in the future of said adventure.
4900128 Perhaps Lyra should open a shop catering to those who have wishes they desired to have fulfilled, and Lyra grants them in exchange for something she deems of equivalent value.
XXXLyraholic...
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4901665
Eh?
"EGPF Control, this is Juliet Oscar Kilo Echo Three, passing through flight level four niner zero, over.
See those contrails? That is the joke passing merrily over my head. I think I am missing something...
Now for Lyra to gush over how she'll sell the gems that the monsters drop but in the end she absorbs them and levels up
Ah yes, the spirit of adventure!
4900934 Sorry to hear about your experience with EQD.
I'm a relatively recent addition to their pre-reading team. Based on the system that is currently in place, a pre-reader would have a very difficult time if they ever made the kinds of comments you've hinted at.
Whenever a pre-reader writes to an author, that email is sent to every member of the EQD pre-reading staff, as well as Sethisto himself. Nobody can send feedback without everyone seeing it. If anyone abuses the system, we'll know about it.
In all likelihood, your feedback probably stung (as I've said, I've felt that sting seven times over). Nobody likes to hear that their best effort isn't good enough. That said, best efforts can be improved into even better efforts. I can't tell you how many stories I've personally rejected that were right there and only needed another editing sweep or two to get featured. Unfortunately, I usually don't ever see those stories get submitted again. All it ever takes is to listen to the feedback, and apply what you've learned. That's it, that's all it takes. For some it will require more time than others, but with time, practice, and patience I think anyone can get featured.
Just don't ever give up. Getting featured on EQD isn't everything, but the extra few thousand views certainly don't hurt. If you ever need advice, just shoot me a PM.
Cheers,
-TheSlorg
4900630 They've been known to turn down stories not because of how well written it is or how quality controlled it's been tended to, but what type of stories they are. That's kinda assholish in my opinion.
4904232 Not if we get the same story types over and over and over again.
You need to realize we get upwards of 30 stories each day. There are only so many stories featuring Rainbow Dash losing her wings (for example) that can reasonably be published.
It's a simple matter of either doing something unique, or doing something old very well.
4904243 Uhm... considering the number of EqD featured Dark stories I've I've forced myself to read... and found sorely lacking in both quality and originality... not to mention crossovers that simply made no sense whatsoever and didn't even bother properly introducing and integrating the two disparate worlds (i.e., just toss some crap into Equestria)...
I must take issue with that assessment.
4905596 And thus the cycle continues.
I take time out of my day, time that could be spent with my children, to try and ensure that readers get the best possible experience. What do I get in return? I'll tell you what I don't get often: thanks.
Being a pre-reader is an utterly thankless job. I've heard it all. We're too strict, we're not strict enough, we're biased, we're jerks, and so on. We've had good pre-readers quit because of all the hurtful things people say. These were good people who took time out of their busy schedules for you guys.
It should say something about the fandom that I should have to be here in the comments section of my own story having to defend something I do that takes a large amount of my time with no pay and no thanks.
4906007 ...thanks for being a pre reader, amazing writer and doing all of this when you have other sh*t to do.
4910874 Thank you.
Though I'll be deleting any further comments that aren't related to the story.
I've noted people's issues, but they won't get resolved by posting in a comment section. Anyone with concerns about EQD story quality would do well to write a thoughtful (IE: don't be rude) email to the site detailing them.
Back to the story, folks!
Will they hire Pinkie Pie as their first adventurer and send her out to fight in burlap armor with a wooden sword?
Incidentally, I actually bought and played Reccetear on Steam because of this fic and it was very fun!
4912494 Pinkie would probably come back with the long lost seventh element that didnt exist before, griffonian armor, and a party bag full of riches that shell spend entirely on candy.
All after only three days.
Bon Bon, substitute Element of Honesty.
Still pretty good, still feels a lot like an episode. Well done.
One thing: " "I can think of no better way lose not only our money," she grunted, "but our lives too!" I think you missed a "to" after "way".
Happy writing.
why do i feel that this will end with lyra being erased from reality... or just hurt.
... Alright, who are you pulling for for the role of Louie? Hayseed? Some one from the Apple family?
5498436
That was a different fic that should not be brought up if you do not want to induce tears.