Interview With A Pony...And A Human
The last two weeks have gone by smoothly for Applejack and Matt. The happy couple went to Sweet Apple Acres for work, with no more further interruptions or shenanigans to get in the way of their applebucking. Applejack’s “assault” on Soarin was the talk of the town for a little while, with ponies now knowing to never incite some sort of unpleasant reaction out of her. Even when Applejack would waltz into town for some shopping, the ponies around her would be sure to be extra nice to her. It died down eventually, with everypony going back to their regularly scheduled behavior, but they would go on to never forget the time the farmpony tackled and smacked around a famous celebrity.
So far, pregnancy hasn’t slowed Applejack down one bit. She is still as strong as ever on the farm, able to do her work with very little difficulty. The Apple family would step in sometimes to assist her, but she insisted that she was just fine, telling them that she won’t start to show until weeks or maybe months pass by.
Shining Armor delivered those maternity books to Matt as promised, and on a few nights, before he went to bed, he would sit down in the living room and read a chapter or two of the books. They were informative, like all medical books should be, with pictures that went into great detail about the birthing process. To Matt’s complete surprise, the way foalbirth is delivered in Equestria is quite similar to how babies are born on Earth, with the stirrups, the hours and hours of labor pains, the crazy tongs that doctors would use in case of complications. Definitely in no way similar to how the horses of Earth gave birth to their foals.
Another similarity, like Shining Armor pointed out, was the behavior of the mare as the pregnancy progressed. Mood swings were a definite subject, overtaking a rather large chapter. Matt openly gulped at the thought of seeing Applejack switch moods at the drop of the hat, feeling that no matter how much he thinks he’ll prepare for it, he won’t be when the time comes. Applejack is one of the sweetest and most likable ponies in Ponyville (when she’s not beating up celebrities) and the prospect of her lashing out troubles him greatly.
For the time being, Applejack remains as normal as always. She has taken a liking to the mane-style that she got from her spa day with Cadance, but only uses it whenever she and Matt would have a night on the town. Whenever they were at work, or just relaxing, she would keep her traditional hairstyle that everypony knows and loves. Not knowing how to do it herself, as she lacks the gift of either magic or hands, she assigned Matt the duty of styling her mane to the form that she likes. Matt wasn’t exactly the most proficient of knowledgeable about styling a mare’s mane, so it took him a while to come remotely close to what the manestylist accomplished. He’s managed to get a hold of it, though. Besides, he took on a sort of joy; running his hands through his wife’s mane when preparing the procedure.
Like all good moments of peace and normality, it comes to an end sooner or later. This particular interruption took place on a Saturday, the first day the couple has off. They love the weekends; gives them time to cool their limbs, and spend the day relaxing, sometimes going to Applewood to see a movie, or simply sitting on the couch, watching silly television programs such as The Real Housemares Of Las Pegasus. Most of the time, it’s been the latter.
Applejack walks down the steps, hearing the noises of dishes being shuffled about. Peering into the kitchen, she sees Matt at the stove, stirring into a pot of freshly made oatmeal. On the table, is a bowl of various fruits, and a plate full of eggs, big enough for them to split. Without saying a word, Applejack sat down at the table, waiting for Matt to turn around to see her.
Eventually, he did. He gives her a gentle smile, knowing that she was behind him all this time.
“Good morning.” he says; turning off the stove, and greeting Applejack with a kiss on the cheek.
“You’re up awful early.” she tells him, noting the bigger than usual breakfast “Did ya sleep alright?”
“I slept fine. I felt like having a hearty breakfast today.”
“What’s the occasion? Hearts and hooves day isn’t for a while.”
“It’s the last couple days before cider season. I figure that we’re going to be quite busy for the next few weeks, and the only time we can relax, will consist of us laying on the couch doing nothing. So, I figured that we do some big things before putting our limbs on the line to help the town of Ponyville get drunk off of cider.”
“Not all of our cider is alcoholic.” Applejack chuckles, “We do give it to fillies and colts too.”
“That is true, but we both know the mares and stallions prefer the good stuff.” he grins, setting down a bowl of oatmeal for her. “Enjoy. I mixed in some apples and cinnamon, so I hope it’s good.”
The scent of the dish emanates into her nostrils, and the smell is almost intoxicating. She brings her muzzle down into the bowl, taking a bite. To her surprise, the taste is even better than she imagined. She lets out a pleasing hum from her mouth, informing Matt all he needs to know about her thoughts. Amusingly, she has a bit of oatmeal on her nose, with her attempts to collect it with her tongue proving unfruitful. Matt wipes it off with a napkin.
“Breakfast appears to be a success. What happens next in your master plan?” Applejack asks with an almost mischievous smirk on her face.
“There are a couple things we can do. It’s been a while since we’ve visited Applewood. We can go there, and catch a flick. Or….” he gets closer to her, “We can go to Canterlot, and have a nice romantic dinner in the evening, and whisper sweet, sweet somethings to each other.” He hears Applejack giggle at his overly romanticized speech. “Then top it off by ending the night on the couch, and watch a movie at home, while holding each other.”
“What kind of movie will make us hold each other?”
“Those Paranormal Activity movies are cuddle worthy.”
“Only the pony versions; the human versions you showed me did nothin’. Especially the fourth one.”
“I’ll give you that. What sounds better to you?”
Applejack thinks on the choices, doing that thing where she taps her hoof to her chin.
“Ah like the second option.”
“Romantic dinner followed by a scary movie it is.” he smiles, “I must warn you; I get scared easily. It’ll take a while for me to go to sleep.”
“I’m sure I’ll think of something to help you.”
They both smile, and go in for a kiss.
Knock knock.
The moment is ruined. The two simultaneously look at the front door.
“Who in the hay is that?” Applejack wonders.
“Don’t know. I don’t think we are expecting anyone.” Matt replied, getting away from Applejack, as he inches towards the door. “I hope it’s not Shining Armor and Cadance again, unless it’s important.”
Matt reaches his hand out, and opens the door. To his relief, it’s not Cadance or Shining Armor standing before him, but a pony he has not seen before in his life.
This pony is a stallion, a medium build, with a slightly tanned coat, freckles on the cheek, and a dark brown mane. His cutie mark is a feathered pen writing something on a piece of paper. The most notable feature were his eyes, or in this case…eye. The eye that is visible is a dark blue, while the other is concealed by an eye patch. Even so, he is wearing a pair of glasses for both, rather than a contact lens for one.
Matt thinks about asking about the eye patch, but getting straight to that could lead to a bad first impression. Instead, he says something a little different.
“Yes, I already know about the word of Celestia. I believe in her, because she is a physical god. There’s no need to convert me.” Matt says.
“What? No. I’m not a Celestia’s Witness.” says the pony, “I’m a reporter for the Ponyville Daily Newspaper.”
“Aren’t you the paper that printed the article about me and Lyra about a year ago? Look buddy, I don’t know what the deal was with the censor bar, but…”
“That’s the Ponyville Confidential. I used to run that paper, but I started my own, when I realized that Ponies loved the gossip column. I think Berry Punch runs that paper now. I wasn’t around when that was published, but I apologize for any inconvenience or embarrassment that might have caused you and Ms. Heartstrings.”
“No, it’s okay…” Matt dials back on the slight hostility, “It all worked out in the end, I suppose.” He holds out his hand for a shake. “I’m sorry. We might have gotten off on the wrong hoof. Who are you, again?”
“I’m Quill Pen.” he says, shaking Matt’s hand with his hoof, “Like I said, I’m a Reporter for the Ponyville Daily.”
“I thought you ran the place.”
“I do, but I dabble in reporting once in a while, especially when the right offer comes.”
“Quill Pen?” Applejack calls out from the house. She then gallops to the front door, with a wide smile. “Mah goodness! It’s been a long time!” she goes in for a hug, “How have you been keepin’? How’s the wife?”
“I’m good, and she’s good. We should be expecting the foal within the next few weeks. She still goes out to work, the stubborn mare, but things have been going great.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Applejack looks back at Matt, who is aggressively lost in what is happening. “I’m sorry. Matt, this is Quill Pen. He’s a friend of ours.”
“Any friend of AJ’s, is a friend of mine.” Matt says happily, “Glad to meet you.”
“Likewise. I must say, it’s an honor to meet the Human in Equestria. I’ve heard a lot about you, and I’m glad to have gotten this opportunity. I mean, who could pass up the chance to interview the only human being in our world?”
“Wait…interview?” Matt asks.
“That’s what I’m here for. I got a call from Access Applewood, asking me to do a filmed interview with you and Applejack about your marriage and foal.”
“Our foal?!” Applejack nearly yells out, “How did you…”
“News travels fast, Applejack.” Quill Pen answers, “We got a few anonymous tips that you were pregnant. Is it true?”
“Those dang good for nothin’ mares…” she trails off, thinking about the Spa Ponies she told her secret to. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“That’s fantastic.” he says with a proud grin, “The studio is expecting a call from me, and we can set the interview up at any time. What do you say? Keep in mind that I completely understand if you refuse. I’ll simply tell the station that you want to keep to yourselves.”
The couple looks at each other, unsure whether to agree to let Quill Pen to interview them. If they say yes, their weekend will no longer be as quiet and peaceful as they wanted. Then again, the pony is a friend of Applejack’s, and he’s always been a nice colt. Matt nods to Applejack, letting her know that the decision falls on her. If she wants it, so be it, and vice versa.
“Okay.” Applejack says, “How does tomorrow sound?”
“It sounds great. I’ll give them the call, and will be over tomorrow afternoon. Would you like the interview to be done here, or somewhere else?”
“Here is fine.” she says, “Ah don’t feel like leavin’ the house tomorrow.”
“Understandable. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” Quill Pen gallops off, no doubt to his office to make the call of a lifetime.
“Are you sure about this?” Matt asks Applejack.
“A little. Ah have never been on TV before. It could be fun. Ya think it’s true that the camera adds ten pounds?”
“Only if you eat the camera.”
“Oh. Ah better make sure not to do that, then.”
Their romantic day would have to wait. Instead of going out for a nice day in Canterlot, concluding with silly horror movies, the two get to cleaning their home to a sparkling shine. Not that their house was in shambles, they wanted to make sure that the house was in tip top shape, considering that it was to be populated by a TV Crew. Don’t want anypony to trip over a stray book or out of place wire.
Matt did the vacuuming and dusting, while Applejack wiped the floor, shelves, and windows giving them a nice little reflection when looking straight at them.
By the end of the day, they were tired, exhausted from all the cleaning, and covered in sweat and dust. The best thing to happen to them that day, was taking a shower together, which they always do anyway.
The next morning, they nearly overslept from being so tired. They almost slept through the alarm the clock would blare out, but Applejack was the first to get up, and buck the clock to oblivion. She made a note to buy a new clock later.
She and Matt then spent the next hour preparing themselves for Quill and the crew’s eventual arrival. Applejack was tempted to have Matt style her hair into the bun, but relented, figuring that she wanted to look as natural as possible.
When the two were almost ready, the knock on the door came. Quill and the Crew were early.
Matt left Applejack to finish up, as he answered the door. Opening it up, he sees Quill standing in front of him, with the TV crew holding cameras and stage lights behind him.
“Hello, Mr. Williams.” Quill welcomed with a grin, “I hope you don’t mind that we showed up a little early. They wanted to prepare.”
“It’s fine. We were just finishing getting ready.”
“Perfect. I’ll have them set up.” Quill gestures for the crew to enter. They move past Matt; a light nearly colliding with his head, but he knew better at this point, dodging the fixture. “Watch out! You almost hit Mr. Williams!”
“He’ll be alright.” the lighting pony says, setting the light down by the couch.
“Don’t worry about it, Quill. I’ve taken my fair share of bumps on the noggin.” Matt playfully taps on his head, which makes Quill Pen chuckle with levity. “So, what kind of questions are you going to ask us?”
“Oh, just some standard stuff. The people of Equestria would like to know a little about your story, plus your relationship with Applejack. I made sure the questions aren’t too personal. If you two find any of them questionable, you are free to not answer them.”
“As long as none of the questions have to do with what we do at night, I think we’ll be fine.”
“Right.” Quill chortles as Matt turns to make sure the crew isn’t breaking anything. Quill quickly looks at his question cards, finding the card with the offending question, and tossing it out the door.
Within the half hour it took to get ready, everything was set for the interview. Quill brought his own chair to the proceedings, with Matt and Applejack sitting on the couch.
“Is this okay?” Matt asks, sitting in a casual position.
“It’s perfectly fine.” answered Quill, “Just be yourself.”
“Ah see, so ya don’t mind if we sit like this?” Applejack descends downwards into a very lazy looking position that would befit a person who spends all day drinking beer and laying on the couch all day.
“Okay, maybe just a little more formal.” Quill chuckles. A Camera Pony taps Quill on the shoulder; the interview is about to begin.
He nods to the two, and Applejack and Matt get into a casual sitting position. The lights turn on, nearly blinding the three, but they get used to it quickly. The cameras turn on, starting to record right away.
“Do ah look okay?” Applejack whispers to Matt.
“You look beautiful.” he answers, giving her a peck on the forehead.
“Okay…” the Camera Pony says, “Five…four…three…two…” He mouths the last number, and gives Quill the signal.
“Hello, Access Applewood. I am Quill Pen, of the Ponyville Daily Newspaper, with an exclusive interview with the human in Equestria, Matthew Williams and his lovely wife, Applejack Apple.” Quill addresses the camera directly with a great deal of professionalism. “He arrived in Equestria just over a year ago, and he had become the talk of our world for many months, as he quietly made refuge in the small town of Ponyville. Now, after a year and a half, he has made his mark on Equestria, is happily married, and the two are expecting the arrival of their foal within nine and a half months.” He looks to Applejack and Matt. “It’s a great honor to interview you today.”
“Thank you.” Applejack says.
“So, Matt…how exactly did you arrive here?”
“Well, it’s kind of a long story, really.”
“We got time.”
“I can see that. The thing is, I came here completely by accident. Though Princess Twilight’s Book, The Unknown Mysteries Of Equestria Revealed: Volume One, went into detail about where I came from, it didn’t talk about how I got here. You see, after sheltering her and her friends, Applejack included, from whatever weirdoes that were in my world, she managed to summon a portal that would bring her back. I had no intention of following them, despite…appreciating the company, but by pure accident, I ended up following them anyway.”
“How did you do that?”
“I hit my head on a tree, and fell backwards into the portal.”
Everypony in the room burst out laughing.
“I hope you didn’t land on anypony, when you fell through.” Quill said, mid chuckle.
“I was told I scared the hay out of some birds.”
“So…” Quill regained his composure, “You ended up here, with no contact whatsoever with anyone you knew back where you came from, trapped in a world populated by a bunch of talking ponies. Did that scare you?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. I tried my best to keep a cool head, but on the inside, I was freaking out like no one’s business. The last thing I wanted to do though, was throw some kind of fit, when Celestia gave me the news that I would be living here.”
“So Celestia visited you personally?”
“Yes. After I came to, since that hit to the head knocked me out, I saw Princess Celestia welcome me. Even with my internal freak out, I felt more than a little honored to be in the presence of such royalty. The closest I got to royalty in my world, was watching a television broadcast of a prince getting married to some girl. Have you met Celestia?”
“No, but I hope to, someday.” Quill looks back at his question cards. He looks at Applejack. “Applejack, how did you feel when you found out Matt was staying in Equestria. More importantly, that he’d be living in Ponyville?”
“Ah wouldn’t say that ah was beyond happy, considerin’ ah only had one real conversation with him back in his world, but ah would say that ah was pleased with the opportunity to get to know him better. Little did ah know, that opportunity came much sooner than ah expected, when he came to visit me on the farm.”
“I see.” Quill looks at Matt, “Would you say you visited her, because you had some kind of natural attraction to her?”
“Not at the time, since the whole concept of what we have now was nowhere near my mind, but I wanted to see her, because the aforementioned conversation we had mentioned her farm. I wanted to see how she worked. To jump forward a little bit, the attraction came some time afterwards.”
“During your first week in Ponyville, you had your rumored affair with Lyra Heartstrings. Would you say that that was the catalyst to your attraction to our species?”
“No, the catalyst came a little later. But, let me set the record straight. Me and Lyra weren’t in a physical relationship. She got a little curious about me, and one thing led to another. We were both embarrassed by what happened, but now we are good friends.”
“I guess the catalyst was when you were with Rarity.”
Matt never told Applejack that story. She suddenly shoots a look of shock at Matt, and the Camera Pony catches every facial expression. Matt begins to stammer. In actuality, the catalyst to his attraction came a little sooner than that, when he had his little “encounter” with Queen Chrysalis, but Applejack isn’t aware of that story either.
“I-I…um…yes.” To this day, nopony was aware that the relationship was a sham. He has to play it cool. “Rarity and I started to hang out more than usual, and with that, came the natural attraction. We began going out, and I accompanied her to the fashion gala in Canterlot. After a while though, we decided to remain friends.”
“The paper said that the two of you were rather hot and heavy.”
“Uh…” he looks at Applejack, whose look of shock isn’t going away anytime soon, “Y-Yeah. We were, but I’d rather not comment on that.”
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“Thanks.”
“Applejack…” The Farmpony is snapped from her look of shock. “When did you start having feelings for Mr. Williams?”
“W-Well…” Applejack straightens herself out, “Ya could say that ah started to have feelings for him, the first day he came to mah farm. He was so nice, and ah definitely wanted to spend more time with him. Plus, ah thought he didn’t look too bad for a human, especially when he started to work out.” she chuckles.
“And you, Matt?”
“It started for me, when I was helping her with Applebuck Season. That’s when I realized that I was head over heels for her. When the barrier between us no longer mattered, and all I could think about, was her.” He stares into her eyes when he says that, which erases any feelings of bewilderment she was having seconds earlier. “Unfortunately, for the both of us, it took a long, long time before we could admit our feelings.”
“Ah hear that.” Applejack chuckled, “But we did, eventually. While ah admit our relationship wasn’t the smoothest of sailing, we have never been happier.”
“Never.” Matt smiles, “While I was once scared for my life, when I found out that I would be staying here, I now thank Celestia for not sending me back. Because I wouldn’t have gotten to know, fall in love, marry, and now have a foal, with such a wonderful mare.”
Applejack giggles at such schmaltzy words, but she eats it up.
“What about the people you knew in your world. Do you miss them?”
They aren’t aware that Matt and Applejack have a direct line to his parents. They don’t know that he can visit them whenever he pleases. He could go out and admit it, but then the fear came in that some villainous creature, pony or otherwise, could somehow be watching the program, and want such magical technology for themselves, putting them, Princess Celestia, and anypony else in danger.
So…he had to lie.
“I miss them every day. I left my parents behind without so much as a goodbye.” He squeezes Applejack’s foreleg. She understands that he has to omit the truth. “I wish there was a way to let them know that I’m happy and okay, but hopefully, they think that I am in a better place, and I can think of no place better than this.”
“One last question. This is for the both of you. Are you excited about the foal?”
“Of course we are!” Matt and Applejack said simultaneously, which elicits laughter from everypony once again.
“That’s great to hear. Have you come up with a name, yet?”
“We’ll let you know if it’s a filly or a colt, first.” Applejack chuckles.
“Right.” He looks at the cards, there are no more questions to ask. “Well, that about wraps it up. Thank you both so much for this opportunity.”
“Thank you.” Matt says.
“Annnddd…cut!” The Camera Pony says. “That’s a wrap.”
Matt and Applejack breathe a sigh of relief that it’s all over. They stand from their couch, and walk out the door, as they crew breaks the lights down. Quill follows them.
“I have to say, that was a great show.” Quill says, “You two did fantastic.”
“Thanks.” Applejack smirks, “When will it air?”
“Tomorrow, most likely.”
“Ah can’t wait to see it.”
“Quill!” a feminine voice calls out in happiness.
Matt looks up to see somepony he hasn’t seen in a long time. Derpy Hooves, flies down to the ground, carrying a box of muffins with her.
“Ditzy?” Quill says, “What are you doing here? I thought you were staying home today.”
“Sorry, Quill, but I wanted to give you and the crew this muffin box before you left. You should have told me you were leaving early.” She looks over at Matt and Applejack, “Is the interview over?”
“Yes. We just got done.”
“Shoot! Now I’m really late!”
“That’s alright.” Quill turns to the couple, “Matt, this is my wife, Ditzy Doo. You probably knew her as Derpy Hooves.”
At that instant, there are two things about her that call to his attention. One, her stomach is bigger than normal, two, instead of a crooked right eye, it has been replaced by a straight blue one. His mouth agape in utter shock.
“D---Ditzy Doo?” Matt says, alternating looking at her and Quill. The eye patch now makes sense. “H-How…d-did….”
"It's a long story.” Quill smiles, looking lovingly at Ditzy. He kneels down to her stomach. “And how’s the little muffin in the oven today?”
“He’s been kicking up a storm.” Ditzy giggles, “I’m sure he’ll be ready to come out soon.”
“All the more reason you should be staying home.” he stands back up, “You know how worried I get.”
“Believe me, I know.” she kisses him on the cheek. “I’ll see you at home, then?”
“I’ll be back in an hour at the most.” He leans in and kisses her on the lips. “Thank you for the muffins.”
“You’re welcome.” She looks back at Matt and Applejack, with Matt still paralyzed with surprise. “It’s nice seeing you again, AJ. I love what you’ve done with the house. It’s certainly better than when I left it.”
“Matt did most of the work. Ya should be thanking him.” she looks to see his continuing shock, “But ah don’t think he’s registering at the moment.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be sure to thank him later, when he stops staring at me.” She cutely giggles, undeterred by Matt’s face. “I’ll see you two later.” Ditzy flies up, and disappears from their sight.
The TV crew finishes up. They leave the house, and walk back to the town.
“That’s my cue.” Quill prepares to leave, “You can have the muffins. They’re delicious.”
“Thanks.” says Applejack, “Ya’ll take care.”
“I will, and congratulations on the foal. I wish you two all the best.” Quill nods, turning to join the crew back into town. Applejack looks up at her husband, who still hasn’t changed his facial expression, since the revelation about Derpy clicked into his head.
“Matt, that face is startin’ to freak me out.” She nudges Matt, breaking him from his expression. He looks back at Applejack. “Hi, welcome back. Ah missed you.”
“Sorry…I never thought Derp….I mean Ditzy, would settle down.”
“Me neither, but Quill is a sweet colt. He wrote a book about it and everythin’.”
“I’ll be sure to read it.” he smiles, “Now that that’s out of the way, what do you say we go out for that dinner, and watch a scary movie?”
“Hold yer horses there, Mr. Williams. Ah want some answers from you, and ya better answer me truthfully, or else!”
“You know I wouldn’t lie to you, AJ.”
“Good ta know. Now…what exactly happened between you and Rarity? Did ya’ll really do the deed?”
“No.” Matt shakes his head with a smile.
“But…Quill said…”
“They don’t know the whole story. If they did, Rarity wouldn’t have been very happy if I told them the absolute truth.”
“Then, if ya’ll weren’t hot and heavy, like they said…what did happen between you two?”
Matt laughs. He knew that she wouldn’t let news like that go, especially after finding out the way that she did. He kneels down at eye level to her, placing his hands on her shoulders, and smiles as he looks into her eyes.
“AJ, have I got a hell of a story for you…”
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"Does the camera not make me ten pounds fatter?"
-How many cameras are pointed at her?
Can we say paparatzi.
2570243
OVER— nah, screw it.
Hmm, nice chapter, funny way to remind what events that had happened in the first story with the interview questions. Now the question is what comes as the result of taking the interview, if not what happens afterwards, it shall be interesting. Good way to tie in one of your other stories with Quill Pen and Ditzy, good to show that there can be original romance can be had with Ditzy, as most people would think of only Time Turner and her.
Nice work, overall, I can't wait to see more. Keep up the good work.
'_- I see what you did there.
Hahahaha
Man, I love the big self-nod to The Mailmare and I. I loved that story so much.
Interesting chapter and now I'll have to go read 'The Mailmare and I'
Nice self plug btw hah
Very nice chapter. I knew an was going to grill him after they left lol.
nice Chapter now i havetoo read the first story now lol will timetoo read the next chapter now lol
How can there be 86 dislikes. I'm confused how could someone not like this story huh?
It's scientifically impossible
3191907 You are a fucktard.
3191907 t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSrvNhpPl_HeauNG8UJCFBGIZu5n9-T1GiJJZm3L7kGtWKeiwkzqYj3VA
just enjoy the story dude its fan fiction you are reading after all!
4192165
2570584 TO LATE I'll finish it for you
... Now that was a surprise.