• Member Since 15th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 2nd, 2014

TotallyNotAnyone


T

Twilight wakes up to find one of her friends is a princess! But something isn't right, Twilight knows it in her bones, and she has to resolve this mystery before things get even worse...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 38 )

Okay, you made me laugh out loud. Upvote.

What did I just read 0_o :trixieshiftright: :derpytongue2::twilightoops:

2314442
The next winner of the Pulitzer Prize, obviously.

Could do with a Random tag, but that would be a massive spoiler. Pretty funny, well-written, and keeps in character just enough to make the OOC moments jar the reader.

The "Equestria becomes a representative republic" thing is a bit overdone. Everybody seems to think that the opposite of a Monarchy is a Parliamentary Republic. That's not true, since it still relies on a single centralized ruling body. A real opposite would be a federalized republic with law-ordained individual rights. But, then the Changlings wouldn't have gotten their voting rights, and Queen Chrysalis wouldn't have become Best Attacked-By-A-Holepunch Prime Minister.

Thumbs up, good sir.

2314715

Well sure, if you want the utter opposite of a monarchy or a republic/democracy with a constitution and a monarch as a figurehead, then you'll want something like anarcho-socialism or anarcho-libertarianism.

LOLed! Would LOL again.

:pinkiehappy: "AND THAT'S HOW EQUESTRIA WAS MADE!!!"

2314798

Anarcho-socialism and anarcho-libertarianism both merge into the same thing after a few years. Either a tyrant emerges and wrests control, since there's no respect for the individual, only the society as a whole, or absolute anarchy breaks out, in which case it's only a matter of time before an outside force takes over the land and subjugates the inhabitants. We've seen this happen a lot in human history, look at how the old Soviet Bloc disintegrated. Anarchy and socialism are both wonderful philosophical ideals that never fully manifest when put into practice.

Which explains why Chrysalis wound up in charge. "Love me, and I will feed upon your love and grow stronger! Yes, my constituents, I need your love! Feed the swarm!" She's the freakin' perfect politician. She feeds on love and always wants more. :heart:

By the way, this story was pretty funny. I'm just overanalyzing it, because that makes it more funny!

2314934

Well, yes, that's the failing of anything with "Anarcho" in front, that it has nothing to protect it from mob rule and the eventual rise of some populist dictator/whoever's got the biggest gang of thugs. A lack of order leads to iron-fisted order.

Though, let's be fair, the old Soviet bloc had nothing to do with proper Socialism. Socialism or Communism as originally envisioned are based around a complete and utter lack of leaders or castes, while all the Soviet systems quite clearly had their ruling/privileged castes in place. So it's hard to place the blame of their excesses on Marxist flaws, when the Marxist rhetoric was just that, rhetoric, a cover for their plans of iron-fisted privilege.

Chrysalis ended up in power by making sure that every candidate running for office was actually her, just shape-shifted, so no matter who won, she won.

2314972

Also, she made sure all the ballot machines were actually Changlings. This is how she got over 9000 percent of the vote. :applejackconfused:

Still, Marxism at its core requires that there be a group of "masterminds" willing to take control "in the interests of the people" and handle the "transitory stage" between the current state of the world and the "Worker's Paradise". The government is then supposed to "melt away", but good ol' Karl never explained how that happens. Especially not when the people have already given all control over to the Politbeuro.

Huh. Then again, this sounds like it's right up Chrysalis' alley. Parliament has control of everything. Every member of Parliament is actually Chrysalis. At the same time. All the Telescreens, are actually Changelings. And don't worry, my little ponies, the lack of genitals will be resolved once the Changeling Combine decides that it is worthwhile to lower the Suppression Field. :applecry:

Welcome to Equestria 17. It's safer here.

If the above over-analyzations of what is literally the last few sentences of whatever I just read indicate anything....

Huzzah, for this great story!

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: five mustauches out of five would recommend.

2315056 Ahh! Half Life! You went there. Awesome. :pinkiehappy:

And yeah, I always did wonder why stallions at least didn't wear trousers. You'd think there would be.. Incidents.

2316108

With a population ratio of 30/1 or something like that, I'm kinda worried that "incidents" happen far too much.

I can see Prime Minister Chrysalis' inaugural speech. "...and fear not, stallions! Under the glorious domin- ah, leadership of the Changling Combine- er, Parliament, you shall never again walk in fear! The Suppression Field heralds an ending to the era of males being mobbed by scores of mares in heat, begging you to reproduce with them!" A pause for applause, all generated by the Changelings who have replaced the seats in the front row. :ajbemused:

"No, this will be a glorious future! Now, even the most hideous stallion, who before would have been drug into the beds of countless mares simply because he was male, will be able to experience the joy of a long-term relationship that has no sexual tension whatsoever! Remember, my youth, one day, we shall rule the... Why are they mobbing the tower of Changelings disguised as the Suppression Field generator? Who the hay is this Freemare character?" :derpytongue2:

Yes. Derpy in a Hazmat suit. Because we all know that only Derpy Freemare could cause a Resonance Cascade that would remove all genitalia from all ponies. Everywhere. And cause Celestia and Luna to abdicate, transferring their powers to two of the Mane Six.

"They're waiting for you, Derpy. In the Muffin Chamber."

"I just don't know what went wrong!"

Okay they havn't focused explicitly on genitals in the show, but can't we just assume that ponies just generally don't spread their legs to strangers. And they need to pop, we have seen them do that.

And I don't think we can talk about exact opposites regarding ruling forms. I am from a constitutional monarchy and many of my "oh so socialistic" comrades out in the university wants to abolish it, but many of them fail to realise that if we got rid of the queen we would need a president instead to take care of everything she does. You know she do what she do so well that they can't even see that she does anything. Every nation needs both a head of state and a head of government. It doesn't have to be two different persons (as seen in USA) but both functions are critical.
The total expenditure of a president is easily the same as that of the royal appanage because there is so much diplomatic bullshit that has to be taken care of no matter whose in charge.
The only consistent argument I have heard republicans use against monarchist is that it is unfair that one family is especially privilege. Well lots of things are unfair, and it certainly are cheaper and better to have a king or a queen then a president.

-A king is an neutral incorruptible arbitrator.
He does not belong to any political party which makes him neutral towards the parties, a president always belong to a party and can therefore be from a different party then his government, leading to a conflict of interest.
He is incorruptible because not only does he have immense old money himself, he also receive appanage from the state so it is simply agaist his dignity to receive "gifts" from "friends" unlike a president like Christian Wulff
-A king is more suited for the office of head of state then a president.
A king have been trained since birth about everything that he needs to know when he assumes office, a president are elected and have to figure it out on the way. By the time he has the necessary experience to be the head of state his terms are already up. Simply put a king has more training and experience then a president will ever have.
-The head of state is a symbol.
A symbol of the state, he is the personification, the commander in chief, the leader of nation, in spirit often more then in practice. You can rally behind a president sure, but there are always at least a 50% change that the current president isn't "your man" which will make you identify significantly less with him
A president also suffers from the fact that he has to be known. every leader have to be known to be a symbol but while the people in the state (which are part of the same public space) have some reason to learn to know their president, because they have to participate in the presidential election foreigners do not, and often do not know who is president of this and that republic. It is so much easier to remember a king because a king rules for so much longer then a president. you are always king for life if you are king, but being president for life, is almost equivalent to being a dictator. Besides there are just something more exiting about kings queens, princes and princesses then there are about "the president and his family"

2317520

Well, alright, let's look at it.

Advantages of a king: No allegiance to any given party, no need to be populist for votes(just don't piss people off so much they want to abolish the monarchy) and a lot of tourists find monarchies to have a sort of fairytale feel to them, so there's a tourism boost.

Disadvantages of a king: Not elected by the people, hence not really a representative of their needs and desires. To some extent above the law, monarchies and their kids tend to pull some shit sometimes and rarely do they ever get hauled properly to the courts for it. Quite a bit more expensive than a president, as I know the numbers(but then again, often the cost of maintaining all the old historical buildings that the royal families live in is included in their "cost," so it's hard to get a solid line on how much is their hedonism and how much is their actual needs).

Now, I don't think there's so much of a difference that non-monarchies should consider getting a royal house, or that constitutional monarchies need to seriously consider getting rid of their royal houses, but it is frankly a bit of a toss-up, neither really wins. On principle I'd prefer a president, but in practice, as you say, they largely fulfill the same purposes anyway.

As for the genitals: We've seen ponies from every damn angle, up close and from afar, it's pretty obvious, they do not have genitals as we understand them. Unless they've got something like a sea anemone where they basically have one orifice to handle everything, and their mouths are half esophagus, half cloaca.

Think about that one before you read your next clopfic.

2317706
First about their genitals, GI Joe is far worse I quote
Witch: I'm turning you into your costume
Seymour's mother: I told you you shouldn't have dressed as GI Joe
Seymour: What is wrong with that?
Seymour's mother: Look below
Seymour: Noooo
(bonus point if you know where this is from)
But seriously only the males genitals hang lose, the females just have a little extra opening between the legs (that which Pinkie calls her "funhole")

To the monarchy discussion.
It is difficult to determine the precise cost because, as you said the maintenance of the historical buildings have to be done anyway and that is included in the cost of running the monarchy, but the best estimates puts the price equal to that of running a presidential office.

There is also the disadvantages with republics that you have to protect all the former presidents for as long as they are alive, and their immediate family.
Also when we are talking about presidents we can put them in three broad categories.
The German presidents are powerless figureheads but like Christian Wulff that I mentioned before they can shame the republics with corruption something a king is above.
The Franc presidents are more powerful and shares power with a parliament, this have many times led to a conflict of interest between the presidency and the parliament as a president can have a majority against him. Parliament can pass a vote of no confidence against a prime minister but not a president, so we can have a deadlocked situation if the parties can't learn to collaborate.
Then finally we have the American president, which is a presidency in its most extreme form, where the president is both head of state and head of government. But while cooperation between a France stile president and his parliament can become a problem, it is often the rule that it is always a problem with an American stile president. Legislation becomes rigid and deadlocked, and there isn't even a prime minister in charge of government to work as middle man between the president and the parliament that can be where a motion of no confidence can be raised if he fails to, for instance, pass a budget on time.

Every type of president is inferior to that of a king, with the German type being the best, but I still think that this guy should be keiser of Germany, as he would be better for the german people then a president..

The advantages and disadvantages can be disputed, and while I do believe the monarchy wins over the republic logically, it is still narrow, so ultimately it all comes down to ideology.

What do you like better, because it is all about feelings anyway.

2317794

While I have my issues with Italian politics and political systems, they have a decent presidential deal, as I understand it.

Also, I'm pretty sure that, canonically, we have no idea what Pinkie calls her non-existent genitals. I'm telling you: Mouth-cloaca. Pony reproduction is nothing but extended "making out," followed by one of the parties eventually swelling and either vomiting up a newborn pony covered in a protective, slimy caul or perhaps budding off some sort of brightly-coloured lump that breaks free of its membranous shell and starts mewling in short order.

That ending was the worst I've ever seen. Seriously. :ajbemused:

2325349
I'm sorry to have ruined all your fanfics by revealing that ponies do not have dicks.

2325358

After talking it over, the remaining ponies decided that leaving such power and magical ability in the hands of a few irrational horses was wildly irresponsible and instituted a bicameral parliamentary system and representative democracy.

Eventually Queen Chrysalis became the first Prime Minister of Equestria.

And that's the story of how changelings got voting rights.

The end.

The end.

:facehoof: times one hundred.

2325383

I'm sorry that you don't know how to appreciate beautiful things. Do you feel sad in the spring, when a hundred thousand flowers are in bloom, bringing happiness to millions, and you don't understand why they're all so joyous? That's what's happening here. Except my fic is those hundreds of thousands of blooming flowers, and my mind is the fertile soil from which they've sprung.

2325663 What I was saying was, this story has NOTHING to do with Changelings, not even the title or description, and yet at the end you say,

and that's the story of how Changelings got voting rights.

It's not the story or the plot that I hate, I rather liked the story a lot until the last line. At that part I felt that the whole story was a total flop. Just saying. If you took out that last line we wouldn't be having this discussion :unsuresweetie:

2330886

Oh, yes, originally it didn't have that ending at all. When I first wrote it, it basically just cut off when Twilight shared the dread truth with Rarity. But that felt kind of like an awkward ending for a fic to post on here rather than on /mlp/

2330965 Heh heh, the dread truth. That might be nice to see at the end. I think I was a bit over my feelings about this fic, but I just wasn't too happy with the ending. Really, that last line, I swear... :unsuresweetie:

:twilightangry2:You motherf:yay:er
I thought this was going to be a short story about Applejack being the greatest princess and shit, come on man.

Seriously, that's some funny shit right there.

Whay know haow Ayuppluhljayuck tawlks, y'all don't need t'uh make un ayuss uf yerself lahk theeyus everytahm y'all wraht dahalawg for 'er.

2330886 Lol, what part of the story made sense? As an example, a giant apple wouldn't have radiated scent all the way to Ponyville with out heat, and the story didn't say the new "sun" had heat, just that it was there. I think the story of how changelings got voting rights made perfect sense for a nonsensical story. Isn't the point of writing silly fun stuff like this to throw out strange twists dragging guffaws out of ponies and/or to see what a creative muse can pour into our minds? Hehe, I think the Changeling Queen looked good with the Hitler mustache that my mind pictured her with. Though I'm not certain why or how I made a connection for those two... I'm slightly worried about myself.

What did I just read?


This is brilliant.


Again, What did I just read?

I sound somewhat like applejack when drunk. Just with more swearing. Sorta like this:
Fuck fuckity shit cunt in the fucking ass bitch cunt i am fucking on heroin shit queef.

zip bopple doo dah gibbity gop apples!!

And this is why, kids, that nopony in Equestria, especially Applejack and Pinkie Pie, should become princesses anymore. Have a favorite and an upvote, dear author! :pinkiesmile:

put the random tag on it

3923424 this video would fit this story

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