The Key To My Heart?
Twilight Breaks Reality
Written by LunaOnTheMOOOON
Part One: Checks and Balances
Twilight tossed and turned in her bed. When she had sunk into its' pink/purple fluffiness she had assumed that sleep would take her immediately. On the contrary, she had been too hot, too cold, uncomfortable, too comfortable (apparently it was possible). Her thoughts just wouldn't slow down and give her peace. Outside, night creatures chirped and peeped up a lullaby that seemed to work on everyone save Twilight. A chilling breeze wafted into the room and ticked the violet alicorns' back.
I must have left the window open
With a sigh, Twilight rolled to face the window, forcing her tired eyes to open. Pale moonlight filtered in through the window, bathing everything in the same baby-blue she had envisioned Soleras' mane to be. The window pane framed a milky-white moon, almost as bright as the sun. On the rare instance that Twilight saw her, Luna had told her it would be a cold night.
I'll have to close that window if I don't want to freeze my tail off.
All the restless energy that had been inhabiting Twilight seemed to leave instantly when she got up, leaving the alicorn stumbling across the room. By some miracle, she managed to miss the delicate glass table but when she neared to window her flank bumped the worn desk. A clink-a-ty-tink echoed in the erie room.
Hmm, odd. I could have sworn that I cleared that dest of it's prior contents. Did I leave something there?
Twilight eyes strained against the moonlight. There was nothing on the floor or the desk. Curiouser and curiouser. Twilight pushed the desk with a foreleg and surely enough, she heard the muffled clink-a-ty-tink of something small and metal. On closer inspection, the desk had a small drawer. It was easy to miss, the front panel of the drawer was about the size of a gift box for a bracelet. The handle was identical to the handles of the wardrobe, intricately-made little clocks. How strange, the wardrobe looked to be in pristine condition wile the desk looked like it could crumble to dust if anyone jarred it.
Without thinking, Twilight reached out with her magic and took hold of the little clock-handle. The drawer didn't move an inch, it must have been locked. Twilight gave it a firm yank. With a dry crack, the drawer fell forward in her telekinetic hold. As Twilight trotted closer to the window, under the direct moonlight, the identity of the thing became evident. It was a tiny key, no larger than half a hoofs' length, as thin and delicate as the legs of a baby bird. It must have been gold, or gold plated, and there were strange swirls of silver that reminded Twilight of Soleras' lovely hoofwriting. A silky maroon ribbon hung from the head of the key, the ends were frayed.
It must have been worn as a necklace, meaning that this key was used a lot. Hmm, I wonder what this was used for.
Twilight loved mysteries, she had been ecstatic to finally get to solve Pinkies' cake mystery. She had, of course, found the culprits.
"Hmm..."
Twilight slipped on the fragile key, hoping that wearing it would give her a better feel of it's place in the world. It bumped against her ribcage, where her heart was.
Bump
Clink
A strange feeling washed over the violet alicorn, like gears had fallen into place and started working again. Had she really heard the sound, or was it all in her head, a trick of a sleep-deprived mind? One thing was sure, something had changed, started up, thought she wasn't sure what it was.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Twilight turned to the still open window. Another breeze danced in and played wither bed-tangled mane. Suddenly, the room felt so claustrophobic, like it was shrinking with every breath she took. She needed air, now!
Her head popped out the window, with everything else still attached of course.
Ah, that's better... but not good enough.
Outside the window was a thick, stone ledge, the kind most old-fashioned buildings have.
Twilight couldn't verify what she did next, other than she needed air and she would not trot down several flights of stairs in the darkness to get it. In a matter of moments, a purple alicorn stood on the ledge, looking down at the Canterlot Gardens from her precarious perch. She breathed in gulps of crisp, night air. How had she possibly overlooked how absolutely wonderful breathing was? Twilight was so busy breathing that she didn't hear the crack underneath her hooves. It was followed by another, louder crack, this one Twilight heard. The pony was momentarily stunned by the sound, when the stone ledge cracked for the last time, she had no time to move or even teleport herself away.
At first Twilight didn't understand why had the world around her turned into a blue-black blur. When she finally came to the realization that she was falling, her ear-piercing scream filled the night.
Down,
down,
down the rabbit hole.
Time didn't slow down, like in the books, nor did it speed up. Although it was a bit like the time she had just come to Ponyville, when she had let go of Apple Jacks' hooves to fall into the grasp of her new pegasus friends. Only this time, there would no one to catch her. Everypony in the castle was asleep and none of her friends even knew she was here. Celestia, why had she stepped onto that ledge? Why had she even thought it was a good idea?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Magic wouldn't save her now. Celestia had once told her that if one is moving from point A to point B too quickly, any transportation spell will fail. Most magical transportation spells are about relation. Where is point B in relation to point A? If the space between point A and B is changing too quickly to be altered in the time it takes one to cast the spell, it will ultimately end with a pony in a wall. There is no way it could work out.
All was quiet. Wind whistled in her ear as Twilight fell to her untimely death. It wasn't too bad, if she closed her eyes tight it was almost like laying next to a fan on maximum rotation.
This is where splat happens. Judging from how far away the ground looked from the ledge. Twilight squeezed her eyes tighter and waited for the pain... and waited... and waited.
Why can I still feel the wind? I'm pretty sure my calculations were correct.
Reluctantly, Twilight opened an eye. All she saw was blue, more specifically a light cyan. It took a few moments for Twilight to register the warmth of another body, the security of someponys' embrace. Twilight closed her eyes and pressed tighter to her savior.
This must be her guardian angel, what other explanation was there? No one was even awake at this hour.
"Are you ok, Twi?" murmured the slightly raspy voice of her angel.
What... I know that voice!
Twilights' eyes snapped open. "Rainbow Dash!"
"The one and only," her rainbow maned friend replied, "You are ok, right?" .
"Ya, I'm just peachy... but what are you doing here? Celestia did not tell you were I was, did she," Twilight was still trying to get her head around the fact that she was still alive... and that she had just mentally called Dash her angel.
The pony in question was now looking down to the cloud underhoof, absently kicking up clumps of it. Fluffy cloud bits drifted about, bouncing harmlessly off Twilights' legs and slowly drifting to the ground.
"I... I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, I knew that this would be boring as heck, but you didn't... I... I didn't think you'd–"
"Wait," Twilight cut off her stammering friend, "you think I jumped?"
"You have wings, Twi," said a confused Rainbow Dash.
It was the violet alicorns' turn to stare at her hooves and stammer.
"I, well, you see... I don't know how to fly." She could feel her cheeks redden and hear Dash explode into laughter. "Hay, It's not my fault that no one ever taught me"
"We'll just have to change that, now won't we!" Rainbows' usual gusto was back, "So if not to... uh, ya... then why did you hurl yourself out of a window?"
Twilight sighed and turned from her friend, "I needed air. I climbed onto the ledge outside my window," she ignored Dashes' wince, " And it crumbled like dust. I think you were right. All this is so strange... I... I don't think I want this. Being a Princess, I mean."
Rainbow silenced her with a hoof.
"Let's go for a fly, I'll teach you."
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈Ω≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
Wow, Twilight learns fast. Then again what did I expect from a little egghead... and the new princess.
The sun hadn't gone up and she was already flying shaky circles around me. She looks up and grins at me. Me!
What a picture-perfect greeting card moment, behind her the sun had begin to rise, pink, orange and blue, outlining purple perfection. Any moment now she would fly over, thank me for the flying lessons, for being there in her time of need... and kiss me.
Fumbling a bit, Twilight flies over. "Thank you so much, Dash, for teaching me. I don't know who else would have. You are a great friend!"
Everypony aboard the Friend Zone Train to Nowheresville!
"Of course, Twilight, I'd do anything for you." Anything.
She frowns ever so slightly.
"A bit for your thoughts?"
Ahahahah.
"You're a really good flyer, you better keep you hooves off my 'best flyer in Ponyville' title," I lie.
"No way! You're too amazing, after all only you can preform the sonic rainboom."
I just grin and nod. You see, It's my fault, all of it. Ever since I saw her the first day, with her crazy hair-don't, I just couldn't tell her. I wanted to tell her all about myself, show off, make her see how awesome I am.
I am, no doubt, the coolest pony in Ponyville, and maybe even the whole of Equestria. I even have my own fan club. None of it matters to her, she sees past everypony's looks, attitude, possessions, outer shell, everything, and sees their core. Who they really are.
She can't see, though, my true feelings. And I can't tell her, because I'm a coward at heart.
Someday! I promise, Twilight, you'll see. I'll stop being a coward someday, and you'll see how much I love you!
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈Ω≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
Twilight, oblivious to Rainbows' predicament, clapped her hooves together, "Alright. How about we have a little race. I want to put my new skills to the test."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, "Did you forget what you just said? I'll leave you in the dust, little egghead."
That nickname again, huh. Twilight had never understood the strange nickname, despite looking it up in the urban dictionary.
Being well read does not make your head shaped like an egg!
"I don't expect to win, besides I have the ultimate teacher."
"Fine, but you asked for it!"
The cyan pegasus took off before Twilight could reply.
"Oh no you don't," with a kick of her legs, Twilight followed.
At first the violet bookworm swayed side to side but she soon got the rhythm. She had to admit, this was mostly thanks to the key necklace she was wearing. It bumped against her chest between her heartbeats. If she flapped her wings when the key bumped her chest, she would get maximum forward motion.
Bump, flap,
bah-dum-dum,
bump, flap,
bah-dum-dum...
Twilight found herself remembering Soleras' poetic-sounding written words: With quick forward motion, all the world still spins despite my directionless joy. I could get used to this.
I could get used to this. It feels so wonderful, having Rainbow here. I didn't realize just how much I missed that pony.
Bump, flap,
bah-dum-dum,
...
Twilight didn't notice when she passed a rainbow and cyan colored blur.
The air around her began to resist her, push her backward, but she accelerated.
Bump, flap,
bah-dum-dum,
...
I can't believe that I never asked Celestia, or even Luna, to show me how to fly, this is great!
Her mane was blasted back against her head, her heart beating in her ears.
Bump, flap,
bah-dum-dum,
...
All at once, the tension in front of her vanished, a large explosion thundered behind her and she catapulted forward. She didn't go far before she slammed into something she hadn't seen before, it felt a bit like glass but somehow softer. It seemed to disintegrate underneath her, the disoriented alicorn fell forward into a world of darkness.
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Hay, I just wrote this,
Although I'm la-a-zy,
But, you're already here....
So, comment, maybe?
Well that was rather blunt shipping.
But that's fine. My motto is: "If you can't do it yourself, don't tell others that they can't either." So I'm really not one to talk.
A few gramatical errors.
Some instances where a semicolon would be more appropriate than a comma. For instance
would be "It was easy to miss; the front panel of the drawer was about the size of a gift box for a bracelet." A rule of thumb for you; if you have two complete sentences on both sides of the comma, use a semicolon. Just makes it flow better.
Other than that, I enjoyed it. And in my humble opinion, story/idea matters a lot more than constant perfect grammer.
2328066
Ok, thanks.
Is there anything I could do to improve it?
2329342
The shipping? Well, it just kind of rushed in there. Second time you see RD and she's madly in love with Twilight. If you want to make the ship a major point of the story (which I'm getting a feel you do), you kind of have to gently lead it in. You're introducing your version of the characters to the reader. Here's a comparison.
You just met someone. You talk to them for a few minutes, and they seem nice. But then they dump all of their innermost feelings on you, all of the stuff they have ever been through. You don't know them, you don't really want to know that stuff about them.
The reader just met your Rainbow Dash. Your Rainbow Dash just proffesed a very acute love for Twilight with little build up or explanation as to why she feels this way. The reader needs to know your Rainbow Dash better. Now, romance includes fluff, so build up the background. Cue the flashbacks to times they've spent together, have them spend time in the present together, anything to show the reader a growing bond.
Then proceed with the blatant shipping to your heart's content.
2333067
.
I see.
I'll do my best.
2336206
Good luck! Looking forward to it.
moar?!
good set up so far, interested in where this goes.
2362115
Haha, yah. I had only a vague idea of what that 'drawer-thingie' was called. The names of furniture and their purpose has never been a strong point for me.
Thanks for pointing that out.
2361821>>2361821
Of course. Right now I'm just battling against my procrastinator self. Never fear, my writer self will be victorious!
2333067 this said, it's fine to introduce your character's in media res. You have to develop them later though, and if you are going to introduce these new versions of old characters suddenly, make them do something interesting and likeable early on.
An alright start but these chapters do need a few looks over.
Oooh, looking interesting! I liked the moment when Dash caught Twi, it was D'awwww.
2364365
Thanks, that's what I was hoping for.
...The moon chucked those photons at that window so hard. Through, I believe is the word you are looking for there.
the window.
Missed an o on the end.
Were correct, not are, though I may be being a bit too nit-picky here.
Finally, you shifted tenses a couple times here and there that seemed... off. Overall it isn't too bad, and the plot seems to be going somewhere fun most likely. Though I'm blaming Twilight's sonic book-boom on that key and too much Alicorn magic, cause without some sort of help, she's not out-flying Rainbow Dash on her first lesson. I do however think I'll give a fave so I can track this. Continue well, and you'll get an up-vote too.
Hm, I think I'll stop reading here. It's all quite a bit too rushed for my taste, although I hope that I won't forget about this comment tommorow so that I can point out some errors when it isn't past 2am.
Just a note: This isn't about the TwiDash. It has TwiDash but the main focus is how Twilight messes up how the universe works and her adventures in said messed up world. And yes, I am continuing this. I'm just being lazy.
More?
3402312
Sorry, yo. I've had a lot on my plate. Also, I don't partially like the act off putting my words on paper. I'll try to update this.
Awww. I like this chapter.
5435024
Thanks waifu! Man, It's been months and months and years since I updated this! The beginning is kind of absolutely terrible but I think it evens out into a slightly flowier flow by chapter the second?
5438059 lol. Yeah.
I really enjoyed this story, I know you are on Hiatus, but when you get off I was wondering a couple things: First did Twilight perform a Sonic Rainboom before breaking reality, and if so how will Rainbow Dash react? [I am wondering this because the description before she hit the glass like wall that would be the break in reality, is similar to breaking the sound barrier when it says: "All at once, the tension in front of her vanished, a large explosion thundered behind her and she catapulted forward.") and second is Rainbow Dash going to follow Twilight through the break in reality? (I am wondering this because Rainbow Dash is nearby, and in order for there to be any TwiDash, both would have to be together in the broken part of reality in order for them to actually be together, instead of with a different version of each other that is not the true one for each other). Thank you, and looking forward to the next chapter after you get off hiatus.
6721995
Can I be honest with you? Well, I'm already writing this so you really have no say.
At the time I wrote this story, which was a few years ago I suppose(?), I actually didn't have much an idea where this was going. I was experiencing some pretty awful insomnia and to fill my time, I took up writing again. The story wasn't at all developed prior to my writing it down, I sort of made it up as I went. I wasn't really taking it very seriously. I don't even think I'll finish it. It was just a story I told to myself when I couldn't sleep.
I do remember that I was defiantly going somewhere specific, but not exactly where. There was going to be a part where Twi and Dash were separated, where Dash meets a Lyra and Bon Bon of a different universe and Dash comes to understand her feelings towards Twilight. During this time, Twilight's meeting her other universe self. I don't know, I thought it was a really interesting story at the time, haha.
And no, Twilight didn't preform a sonic rainboom. She...opened a door...or rather broke through it? I don't know. All of it was sort connected, Solera, the key, the breaking of reality(this sounds very silly now that I'm coming back to it), in a Hero's Destiny type thing.
6732723
Hey thanks for telling me, but and this is just an observation, Rainbow Dash already knows what she is feeling, she is just too scared to tell Twilight.
6735000
Yeah haha, I suppose. Anywho thank you for reading my bad writing. I just read through it. So many spelling mistakes. It probably doesn't help that English isn't my first language. I'll use that as my excuse, haha.
This is an interesting start, I wish you had continued it.