Wins and Losses (AppleDash)
“Wins and Losses”
(AppleDash)
Applejack sat across the table from her competitor and tried with all her might to ignore the stinging in her eyes. She couldn't give up. She couldn't cry—because if she was the first to cry, that meant her opponent won.
She wasn't quite sure just how she knew that, but she did.
Just as she knew that ornery blue pegasus on the other side of the table would never let her live it down.
Truth be told, Rainbow Dash's own eyes were looking a bit moist themselves. The hint of tears made those deep pink irises shine even more brightly than they usually did, and Applejack had to redouble her efforts to pony up and not give in to the urge to blubber like a baby foal.
On the table before them sat two plates of half-finished food—apple dumplings for the earth pony and a spinach frittata for the pegasus—as well as a half-burned candle that had been shoved into an empty wine bottle. It was a nice restaurant. Much nicer than Applejack would have expected, actually, and that had worried her. This entire evening stank with the unmistakable whiff of Rarity-specific meddling, and that never meant anything good.
The golden horseshoe that sat right next to the wine bottle had only confirmed Applejack's suspicions.
Rainbow Dash swallowed, and tiny beads of sweat started trickling down her face. Applejack fought back a grin—the brash young flier was never so adorable as she was when nervous. "So, uh, yeah." Rainbow coughed loudly. "Are you … y'know, gonna answer my question? Sometime this year, maybe?"
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well, sugar cube, I reckoned that you wouldn't have asked the question if ya weren't pretty sure what answer you were gonna get."
"Oh, for cryin' out—" Glaring ferociously, Dash bit off whatever she'd been about to say next. "C'mon, Applejack. Humor me here, will ya?"
The stinging behind Applejack's eyes was growing worse, to the point it was almost unbearable, and she quickly leaned across the table so that she could whisper in the pegasus' ear. "The answer's yes," she murmured in a soft voice, breathing in the clean scent of rain that always lingered in Dash's mane. "Shoulda known even before ya asked that I'd say yes."
"R-really?"
And it was this—that slight hitch in Rainbow's voice, that heartbreaking tone of surprise—that caused Applejack to lose. That finally let flow all those tears she'd been holding back.
"Oh, Rainbow." She wrapped her forelegs around the other pony, holding tight. "O' course the answer's yes. The answer's been 'yes' since the day we met, ya blind fool."
There was a brief silence, little longer than a heartbeat, before Rainbow Dash let out a laugh that was loud and pure. "You said yes! You really said yes!" The pegasus rubbed her cheek against Applejack's, and suddenly the farmer could feel hot tears that weren't her own. "You're really gonna marry me!"
Applejack rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips nonetheless. "S'what I said, sure enough."
"You said yes," Rainbow repeated, quieter, her voice trembling like a string on a fiddle. "You said yes … "
And Applejack shut her eyes, the tears still trickling down, and for once in her life, she found that she didn't mind so much that she'd lost. That she'd been the first to break, the first to cry. For once, it was all right. Better than all right, even.
Still smiling, she huskily replied, "I love you … ya featherbrained idiot."
"I love you too.” Rainbow Dash laughed again, and somehow it sounded even happier than the first laugh. “You stubborn old mule."
Author's Notes: Just another little story that I adapted from something I wrote for a writing prompt.
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My facial expression is a cross between this:
and this: 
I don't even like AppleDash and I adored this, haha. And two Donny's Boy stories in an evening! I could get used to this! (You're spoiling me, DB!)
It's nice little story, and that's coming from someone who's not a big fan of AppleDash.
Even when it comes to proposing, it turns into a competition.
844409
This!
844664
I'm sorry, but your comment contains less than 250 words, so I can't see how it could possibly contain any useful criticism.
844725 I had a feeling someone was going to say something like this.
My point is. I want to become engrossed in a story. I want the plot to drive me to read.
I don't want to read something really short that feels rushed and could use more descriptions. I'm not saying the amount of words make a good story. But with the amount in there, I've seen that it's rushed! Chapter 1 was going to be RariDash. Then Rarity says she has a crush on Fluttershy, and I think in the end, Rainbow Dash was getting ready for a date? I'm left confused.
It needs some real improvement. Details, Too many time skips/scene breaks, I easily lost track of what was happening.
No offense to the author, but it's just not my cup of tea.
844725 But hey, the person writing wants to write for their own reasons, maybe they aren't in it to get better or something? Just to have fun? Go for it. Pay no attention then. But what the author has here, is some great ideas that I feel need to be expanded on. And the way it's done now, I'm left wanting more to the story at least.
844773 You know the chapters share no continuity right? That these are vignettes?
Vignettes are always vague, you have to make up your own thoughts around.
Donny writes some amazing multi chapter and oneshot stories that are less vague and easier to understand, but vignettes are like this. That's just how they work.
"In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, idea, setting, or object. This type of scene is more common in recent postmodern theater, where less emphasis is placed on adhering to the conventions of theatrical structure and story development. Vignettes have been particularly influenced by contemporary notions of a scene as shown in film, video and television scripting."
They should be around- 200-1000 words; I think.
844835 True. I guess I'm just not a fan of the style. But I was just voicing my opinion. I understand the intent and all. But still. Truthfully, it was meant as constructive criticism originally, but I think I just let the disappointment get the better of most of my words. >.<
844853
Well, vignettes are definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I adore them, but the vignette style wouldn't suit longer stories or stuff.
I didn't find your comment harsh or anything, just eh... confused? Because if these weren't vignettes it would certainly be true.
But if you want to check out some of his other stuff, Seeking Beauty is a wonderful Pinkie Rarity multichapter fic.
844893 Just got done reading the filly Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash story. I'm a real sucker for those,especially where Fluttershy helps Rainbow Dash ones. It was cute.
844773>>844782
Okay, those are better criticisms. I'm not saying you aren't allowed to find stories rushed or anything; I'm saying you should be judging a story's pace based on how many words it would take to tell that particular story properly, not according to some arbitrary, one-size-fits-all standard. (and it looks like you are doing that, so cool.)
And in chapter 1, I think the idea is that Rainbow loves Twilight, and Rarity loves Fluttershy, but then Twilight gets together with Fluttershy, and Rainbow and Rarity start having pity-rebound sex with each other. I admit, I had to reread it a few times myself. Notice that the crush-announcing scene involves Rainbow and 'the unicorn', and the date-preparing scene involves Rarity and 'the pegasus'. The narration never directly names Twilight or Fluttershy, for some reason.
844409
844595
844624
Heh, thanks. Truth be told, I'm not that keen on AppleDash myself, but I hope I did the ship some justice.
844664
Well, as has been said, these are vignettes, so they're intended to be short and to not have much plot, so I won't rehash that. Besides, there are good vignettes and there are bad vignettes, and these could very well be bad vignettes. I'm hardly an impartial judge there. I can say that I do wish that in "Mutual Assured Destruction" I'd been clearer in the scene breaks just to make things easier for readers to follow, as the story was non-linear. And I do greatly appreciate the feedback, even though you don't care for these mini-stories. (And thank you for the kind words for "We Can Be Heroes.")
I do not, however, appreciate being condescendingly referred to as "pal"--as well as having it be implied that I don't care about improving my writing if I happen to disagree with your assessment of it.
844893
Oh, heh, thanks. I'm glad you like my longer stuff, including that RariPie one.
844944
That's correct, yes. Details were included to identify each unnamed pony, including but not limited to eye color. Fluttershy and Twilight were both left unnamed for stylistic reasons--I'd hoped that not naming them would create some bit of distance between the reader and those characters, highlighting and echoing the distance that Rainbow feels from Twilight and Rarity feels from Fluttershy.
844975 I didn't mean it like that. >.<
There are people who write for fun, rather than to improve, which is what I was going for. Not that you don't care. I do apologize. I was just disappointed, and it came off worse than I intended it to.
When's some more Twidash?
845019
Thanks. Means a lot, and I appreciate it. I'm sorry that I kinda put the worst interpretive spin on what you said--you're entirely right, of course, that some people don't really care about improving their writing at all. I didn't mean to do so, but I did. My apologies for that.
And thank you again for the feedback and criticism.
845355
I promise nothing, but here, to tide you over:
I remember this submission! Loved it then and I love it now! It's so perfect. The competition even during a proposal is very much their dynamic. Dash being surprised at AJ saying yes is just so very Dash, all bravado on the outside and self doubt on the inside, that I teared up right along with AJ. How do you write far better Appledash than I ever could despite your lukewarm feelings for it? You're always making me look bad!
But seriously great work as always!
849698
It's because Pinkie is amazing.
866026
Ha, yeah. I kinda figure that maybe there's some residual racism left over from the pre-Hearth's Warming era. Not sure why I think that, exactly, but I kinda do.
870503
Hope it was a good surprise and not a bad one!
874722
I actually see the couple as fairly non-angsty, I think. They're both plain shooters, for the most part.
Good to know! *nod* I just kinda had the thought ... well, if AJ hadn't fallen for Dash before "Last Round-Up," that might've been what did it for her. Because Dash is just fantastic throughout the entire episode. Really glad you liked this one, 'cause, you know, AppleDash.
881639
Oh, hush, I've no doubts your AppleDash would be wonderful. (Does that mean you'll be writing AppleDash, by the way? Or have you done so already? I must ashamedly confess that I haven't been through your entire back catalogue.) Also, I'm glad to hear you felt the moment with Dash being surprised worked--it's always a balance, I think, to get the self-confidence and self-doubt levels right, because both are very much a part of Rainbow Dash.
I knew that synopsis sounded familiar...
Anyway, I really like this, and I like... I don't even know how to pick a certain part, I'm too sleepy, but I like this. Hope that's detailed enough
528756>>528634 Pinkie, in my opinion, is better with Twilight. I think Rainbow and Pinkie are just better off as just best friends. I am a
AppleDash, Twinkie Pie, and Flutterty shipper when it comes to the mane six.
Can I just call you my favorite writer? You pack so much into such a short frame on everyone of these. They are all wonderfully written, from the first to the last. I mean....some of these stories took my ability to even. They are that good.
CELESTIA, WHY?!?! WHY DID I SQUEAL OVER A PAIRING I DON'T EVEN LIKE, MORE OR LESS, HATE?!?!
That's why. Keep writing, brony. I'mma check out the rest of yo prompts 
.... You're an amazing writer, I believe.
All I'm gonna say
I love appledash, and this was really sweet. All I can say is awwwww
844664
But...these aren't stories.
They're scenes.
Mere snippets of time from across the multiverse.
The weight they carry comes from what the reader brings in. They are MEANT to be incomplete, allowing the reader to fill in gaps themselves.