Twilight Sparkle casts a spell, not knowing what it is or what it will do. And when she does cast it, it makes the Elements of Harmony change all of Ponyville. The Elements were not switched, but they switched everypony of Ponyville. Now ponies are not who they are anymore. Twilight is now a Pegasus, Rainbow is an Earth Pony, Fluttershy is a unicorn, and so on. Twilight cannot undo the spell, for she is now a pegasus, and now she has to wait for Princess Celestia to fix this whole mess. Or does she?
Chapters (1)
This is a pretty good fic, but like you said it IS pretty short. Maybe you could've had Twilight screw up the first time reversing the spell? It'd make the story longer.
That description is terrible.
2314146 Okay, could you help me with that please? I really want this story to be good.
2314206 So...?
2314778 Explain to me the purpose of a description, and then ask me if yours fulfills said purpose.
2315763 A description is the first thing the reader may see of the fan fic, and it's supposed to get the reader going into the story. It describes what the plot of the story is and tells the reader if they really want to read it. It is a written representation of the story and shows the reader what the story is going to be about.
Soo what should my description be?
2316550 Well I'm not gonna write your description for you, but it looks like you were a little stumped.
The Elements were not switched, but they switched everypony of Ponyville. Now ponies are not who they are anymore. Twilight is now a Pegasus, Rainbow is an Earth Pony, Fluttershy is a unicorn, and so on. Twilight cannot undo the spell, for she is now a pegasus, and now she has to wait for Princess Celestia to fix this whole mess. Or does she?
You could say that everypony has switched race or something, it makes more sense than 'ponies are not who they are anymore'. Really, it just takes 5 minutes to go back and fix this bizarre collection of sentences.
2314778 Well, for example, you could have Twilight attempt to have one of the now-unicorns try and attempt a counter-spell before she does. There's a suggestion if you like the way you've ended it now. Or, you could have her screw up on the counter-spell you have already, and make her attempt to try something else.
Just a suggestion. Also, if you wanna be real fancy, you can add in an underlying moral or something if you're trying to mimic the show.
Over and over.
Try to tell us something new.
Redundancy, bad.
Said what they shouldn't.
Reactions were OOC.
'cause twilight was dumb.
Rarity was blind.
Applejack was logical.
They all leave twilight.
Other than mane* six. *(possibly main but I like the pun)
Never anyone mentioned.
What about Derpy.
The ending felt rushed.
Crafting spells is not rhyming.
Else magic is all's.
Hopefully this clears up what is wrong with this story.
6033195 Didn't read the story, did we? ;) Nah just kidding. This was an old story, I write a lot better now.
It's good, though I do wish it wasn't as similar to Magical Mystery Cure. However, I understand that you weren't as good in writing and probably far younger when you wrote this.
11707499
Funny you should say that!
I was 9 when I wrote this. I'm now nearly 21. What a nostalgia trip ;)