• Published 21st Mar 2013
  • 7,998 Views, 90 Comments

Tomorrow Spring is Here - Timaeus



Winter has ended, and spring is on its way. In Ponyville, it's time for their annual Winter Wrap Up! But this year, Twilight finds herself struggling with strange feelings directed towards a certain rainbow-maned pegasus...

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Tomorrow Spring is Here

As Twilight yawned, she glanced out of her window and smiled as she admired the beautiful scenery. Snow covered every inch of Ponyville, and it was freezing inside the library, so she had lit a fire in the fireplace to keep the cold at bay. Whittling away the time before she had to go meet up with the others, she read one of the newer additions to the library.

“The coming of spring heralds the end of the many cold winter months that both ponies and all kinds of animals and plants have had to endure. It brings with it the warmth of Celestia’s Sun, and the return of our southern bird friends. It thaws out the frozen ground so we may sow our crops for the coming seasons,” she read aloud. “Spring breathes life into the wildlife still surrounded by the veil of hibernation and sleep. To paint the land with hues of green and gold and every colour of the rainbow is considered by many to be the single most important part of spring. And, as ponies, it is our duty to ensure that this renewal of the land, and of ponykind itself, is performed each and every year with the annual ‘Winter Wrap Up’ celebration.”

Twilight paused from her reading and took a sip of her morning coffee. She looked out the window to see the first golden rays of the sun peeking up over the horizon. It was almost time to get to work.

She sighed and looked over to her team vest for Ponyville’s own Winter Wrap Up. As head organizer of all the teams, she had been given an every-team vest last year. She would meet this year’s event with her head held high, and was of course happy to take on the responsibility of ensuring that everything went according to plan to make sure spring would not be late for Ponyville this year. This didn’t mean that she wasn’t stressed about it. Coordinating all of the teams and sequencing their duties so they don’t interfere with each other was not as easy as it sounded.

Deciding that she still had at least a few minutes before she needed to meet with the team leaders, Twilight returned to her book.

She read, “Yet, while the importance of Winter Wrap Up and the renewal of the land cannot be understated, it is not the true meaning of the Coming of Spring. Spring, while indeed the time of revitalization, is also the time of growth. It is a time for change, a time for new relationships and new goals to be pursued in earnest. If there is one thing that you take with you after finishing this book, dear reader, it is this: the true meaning of Winter Wrap Up and the Coming of Spring is-“

“Hey Twilight!” a familiar raspy voice shouted from outside as its owner knocked repeatedly on her door, “Are you up yet?! We have to get goin’ if we’re gonna meet up with the others!”

Sighing again, Twilight placed the book on her desk and kept it open so she could pick up where she left off when she returned. Guess I’ll just have to wait to discover the ‘true meaning of the coming of spring’ until after today.

“Come on in, Rainbow!” Twilight shouted as she stood and stretched in anticipation for the day’s work.
Trotting inside, Rainbow quickly closed the door and trotted over to Twilight. Shivering, she sat down beside her friend and laid her flight team vest on the floor. She looked at her and said, “Ya know, as much fun as it is to build a snowpony and fly during a snowstorm, I’m not really a big fan of the sub-zero temperatures. I can’t wait until we finish wrapping up winter today so I won’t be freezing my feathers off every time I go outside,” She shivered as she felt her wings being warmed by the fire. She sighed in contentment as the fire’s warmth enveloped her and she flopped on the toasty warm floor with a satisfied smile plastered on her face.

Twilight giggled at her friend’s antics as she felt her heart do a little skip, and her cheeks flushed ever so slightly.

Again? Ugh, why does this keep on happening to me? And why does it keep on happening when I’m with Rainbow Dash? Or, maybe it’s just a coincidence? I mean, she has been hanging around the library a lot more as of late and she always seems to be around when I go out…But still…

If there was one thing Twilight did not like, it was not being able to understand something. Now, with Pinkie Pie, she decided to make a special amendment to her rule about being able to logically describe and define something. However, when it came to Twilight herself, she simply could not tolerate not being able to understand or explain something happening to her own body and psyche.

She furrowed her brow in concentration as she tried to interpret and analyze her thought processes and bodily reactions in addition to any external stimuli that could have brought them on.

Let’s see, everything seemed to be normal all morning. Woke up, check. Morning shower, check. Breakfast, check. Reading by the fireplace, check. Everything checks out. Hmmm…the only thing that’s changed since then was Rainbow Dash’s arrival here… Her opening the door and letting some of the cold air in, followed by the re-heating of the room by the fire could explain why I felt my cheeks flush. But it doesn’t explain the sudden change in my heartbeat…

“Hey Twi’? Equestria to Twilight? Anypony home?” Rainbow asked as she waved a hoof in front of her friend’s face.

Snapping out of her reverie, Twilight shook her head and addressed her friend, “Wha, huh? Oh, sorry Rainbow. I kind of spaced out there for a bit,” she said as she scratched the back of her head, smiling sheepishly.

“Ya don’t say,” Rainbow deadpanned.

“Yeah, well, um, what were you saying again?”

“I was asking what you were reading over there,” Rainbow asked for the second time as she gestured to the open book lying on Twilight’s desk.

“Oh, this? It’s a new book that just came in yesterday. It talks about the historical and modern importance of Winter Wrap Up and what it represents, especially for towns like Ponyville that still change the seasons without unicorn magic,” Twilight explained excitedly, “I got up extra early today and had some spare time before getting down to work. I thought it was actually really fitting all things considered. It even talks about the ‘true meaning of the coming of spring.’”

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense! What does the new and all-powerful book say is the true meaning of spring?” Rainbow half-mocked, raising her hooves to make quotes in the air.

“I guess we’ll have to wait to find out. You interrupted me just as I was getting to that part,” Twilight giggled and bopped Rainbow on the nose with her hoof. “And we need to get going or we’re going to be late to meet the others.”

Rainbow looked away and hurriedly stood up with her back now facing Twilight. As she turned, Twilight could swear she saw the faintest hints of a blush on her.

Was she…no, this is Rainbow Dash we’re talking about here! Besides, I’m the only other pony here, so why would she have those kinds of thoughts about me? As Twilight thought, she felt her heart sink, although she couldn’t explain why. She felt as if the answer was just on the tip of her tongue. It was probably a trick of the light from the fireplace.

“A-anyways Twilight, you’re right. We should, uh, probably head off,” Rainbow said awkwardly.

Nodding her head, Twilight agreed with her and said, “Yeah, okay. Let’s get our vests on and go meet the others. We’re meeting at Town Hall, right?” she asked as she used her magic to slip on her vest.

“Yup. Hey, think you can give me a hoof with this thing? Rarity put the zipper on the back of my new vest after my old one got…worn out, yeah, and I can’t reach it,” Rainbow asked, struggling with the zipper that was clearly placed out of reach of anypony without magic or somepony to help them.

“Um, yeah, sure. Hang on a second,” Twilight stuttered out as she tentatively reached out to zip up the vest. She could feel her blush return in full force as she made contact with the rainbow-maned pegasus. “There you go.”

“Thanks, Twi’,” Rainbow said, a little too earnestly.

Looking away and attempting to force her blush back down, Twilight distracted herself by rummaging around her desk for her clipboard with her checklist of everything that needed to be done. Convinced her face had returned to its non-flushed colour, Twilight turned her head back to Rainbow Dash who had been hovering over the sitting area of the library.

“Okay! I’m all set, let’s go!” Twilight announced as she trotted over towards to the door.

As Twilight exited the library, Rainbow quickly followed her and giggled to herself. She really is adorable when she scrunches her brow like that. The others have been so awesome about this whole crush thing, and I’m gonna have to really thank Rarity for the new vest. Today is the day I tell her. Rainbow steadied herself with a deep breath. I owe it to the girls for helping me out with this. I owe it to Twilight; I owe it to myself.

Realizing she had fallen behind while stuck in her own thoughts. Gee, I guess Twilight is really starting to rub off on me, huh? She cantered to catch up with her lavender friend who was humming a familiar catchy tune to herself.

The two walked down the snow-covered streets of Ponyville, making no attempt at conversation. They were content with taking in the beautiful sight of the icicles that glinted in the morning light and the white blanket that was spread out before them. It would be, after all, the last time either of them would see Ponyville’s splendor in winter for another year.

Unnoticed by either of them, the two slowly began walking closer and closer together to the point where their coats almost brushed against each other with every step. Turning their heads, their snouts made brief contact and they looked into each other’s very surprised eyes. Blushing furiously, Twilight jumped back with a loud ‘EEP!’ and Rainbow took to the air, hovering a few feet away from her crush.

Blushing furiously, the two mares looked around awkwardly, making eye contact with anything that wasn’t the pony standing before them.

“Heh heh, sorry about that Twi,” Rainbow said nervously. “I didn’t know we were so close. It’s not like I was trying to kiss you or anything.” Her eyes widened even further as she just realized what she had said. She prayed to some deity somewhere that Twilight missed that last bit.

By the even more surprised look on Twilight’s face, Rainbow was going to go ahead and guess that she did.

“I-ummm; it’s fine, Rainbow. Let’s just keep moving. Come on, I see Town Hall just up ahead,” Twilight said, still not quite making eye contact with her friend.

As they walked up, they saw that Mayor Mare had already begun to coordinate everypony into their designated teams. Applejack stood off to the far side donned in her green team leader vest with a large group of earth ponies getting ready to head off and plow the snow off of the farm fields around Ponyville. Fluttershy and another group of ponies were just putting on their brown vests to start waking up the hibernating critters while Pinkie and a small group of ponies had ice skates draped around their necks. Rarity and her team were going over their supplies for making nests. Finally, a group of pegasi flitted about in the air, waiting for their team leader, Rainbow Dash, to show up.

As they approached the group of ponies, Twilight said, “Okay everypony! We have a lot of work to do and only one day to do it! Last year we barely got winter wrapped up on time, but this year if we get started right now we should be done in time for supper!”

The crowd cheered in response. Twilight cleared her throat and scanned her clipboard.

“Let’s get started, everypony! Rainbow, I need you to send out a few flying teams to go help the southern birds come home! And,” she added in an undertone so that only she could hear her, “no offense to her, but keep a close eye on Derpy; we don’t want her flying off on her own again like last year.”

Rainbow gave a quick salute and said, “You got it, Twi! You know I won’t let you down.”

Despite the innocence to her words, Twilight couldn’t help but notice her heart beat a little faster as Rainbow said that. There it is again. What’s going on with me?

Deciding not to dwell on it, Twilight coughed and turned back to address the crowd of eager ponies, “Right, so while the Flight Team starts gathering up the birds, Fluttershy, I need you to start waking up all of the animals from their winter naps. Applejack, your team should start clearing the crop fields in about thirty minutes to accommodate Fluttershy’s team working in the nearby area. Pinkie, you and your team need to start breaking up the ice following the same grid system we used last year. You should start at the Ponyville Lake; it’s the biggest and most important lake in the area. And Rarity, your team needs to start making nests as soon as possible. Remember, they don’t need to be absolutely perfect. We have a lot of birds coming home and not a lot of time.”

Each team gave their own salutes as Twilight listed off what their duties for the day.

“Everypony have their jobs for the day?”

The crowd nodded their heads excitedly.

“Okay then, let’s get to it! I’ll be coming around to check up on each team’s progress throughout the day,” Twilight finished as she checked her clipboard making sure everything was mentioned and assigned to a team. Satisfied that everything was covered, Twilight watched as the crowd dispersed into their assigned teams and got to work.

After a couple hours of talking about planning of sequences of events with Mayor Mare, Twilight walked off to check up on Fluttershy’s team.

“Okay, so by now if Fluttershy’s team is on schedule they should have woken up all the, bleugh, snakes,” Twilight whispered the last word with a shiver. “And she should be starting on the smaller mammals.”

Twilight gazed upwards at the cloudy sky and watched Rainbow Dash direct her team into different squads to start clearing up some of the grey overcast. You know, I’ve never really thought about it that much, but Rainbow Dash is actually really majestic when she flies. The sky really is her domain; nothing can stop her up there.

Not paying attention to where she was going, Twilight walked right past Fluttershy with a silly grin on her face and almost set off a series of bells too early. Luckily, Fluttershy was able to get Twilight’s attention.

“Uhm, Twilight? Twilight, are you okay?” She mumbled after jumping in front of the unicorn.

“Huh? Fluttershy? Oh! Sorry, I must have spaced out there for a bit,” Twilight groaned as she rubbed her head with a hoof, “Anyways, how’re things going on your end over here?”

“Good, we have all the reptile critters awake and we were just about to start waking up all of the bunnies. Actually, you almost set off the bells a little too early. Sorry if I startled you back there, but I didn’t want you to accidentally wake up the animals before they were ready.” Fluttershy explained.

“Not a problem, it was my fault really. Good to see everything’s on schedule over here. I think I’ll head over to check up on Applejack.” Twilight said, still rubbing her eyes.

“Oh my, are you feeling alright, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked with concern.

Twilight contemplated telling Fluttershy about her recent problem, and after a moment started slowly, “I’m…not so sure actually. I’ve been feeling really weird around Rainbow lately and I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“Would you like to talk about it? That is, if you don’t mind; I’m sure you have a lot to do today,” Fluttershy nervously said.

“No, no. You have more medical experience than most ponies I know, and I should probably tell somepony anyways. Let’s see…symptoms so far include flushed cheeks, wobbly knees, erratic heartbeat, and problems speaking at intermittent periods.” Twilight listed off.

“Intermittent periods? So this has been happening at random periods? Do they always happen around Rainbow?” Fluttershy ventured.

“Well…kind of, I think. It’s hard to say…wait. Why does it matter if it happens around Rainbow?” Twilight asked, flummoxed at her friend’s clear descent into insanity. “Is another pony responsible for me making me feel this way?”

Fluttershy backed into a corner, knowing full well what Twilight was experiencing but too scared to talk about it without another certain cyan pony’s permission.

“I-uh, I…have to get back to waking up the animals! If we don’t get the rabbits up now, then we’ll fall behind schedule! Do you think we can pick this up later?” Fluttershy squeaked.

With a sigh, Twilight relented, “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for listening, Fluttershy. I’ll see you later.” With a wave of her hoof, Twilight marched off towards Sweet Apple Acres where Applejack’s team was scheduled to start clearing. As she walked through the snow-covered fields, Twilight saw her orange friend surveying the ponies ploughing the fields from a hilltop. Applejack waved as she saw Twilight approach.

“Heya there, Twilight! Coming to check up on us over here?”

“Yep! I just came from Fluttershy’s, and she’s moving things along perfectly on schedule. Do you have everything over here under control?”

“Eeyup! We just finished clearing Carrot Top’s fields and we’ve already started with the southern fields down here at Sweet Apple Acres. Ah think that makes us ahead of schedule, doesn’t it?” Applejack asked with a smug grin on her face.

“That it does! At this rate, we may even finish ahead of schedule for a change!” Twilight said, clapping her forehooves together with glee.

“Hey Twilight!” shouted a familiar voice above her.

Looking up, Twilight saw Rainbow Dash land on the snow-covered hilltop next to her.

“Oh, hey Rainbow!” Twilight said with a slight blush. “Is everything okay with your team?”

“Whuh? Oh, no. Everything’s fine on my end. We’ll have everything cleared in no time flat! I actually just wanted to talk to you. In private,” she emphasized the last two words, giving Applejack a knowing look.

Both Applejack and Twilight donned looks of confusion, until Applejack’s mouth widened in a silent ‘o’ as she finally understood.

“You got it, RD. Ah’ll just head over here to keep an eye on Caramel and Big Mac,” Applejack said with a wink.

“Okaaaaaay, so what’s so important that you need to talk to me alone, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked nervously.

Taking a few deep breaths, Rainbow steadied herself. Come on, Rainbow Dash. You can do this! Just tell her that you love her. Okay, that may come on a little too strong. New plan: tell her that you really like her and ask her if she wants to go out for coffee or something sometime soon. Man, I really should have planned this out better.

“Well, you see Twilight…The thing is…I was wondering if we could maybe-”

“Rainbow Dash!” shouted Derpy Hooves as she flew down in a panicked frenzy, “We have an emergency! Thunderlane flew on ahead too quickly and is going to bring the birds back too early!”

“What?! Derpy, can’t you see I’m a little busy at the moment?!” Rainbow fumed.

“It’s okay, Rainbow,” Twilight said as she placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “Go fix whatever mess Thunderlane made and I’ll be waiting right here for you when you come back.”

Rainbow Dash looked from Twilight to Derpy, and eventually gave in. Her window of opportunity closed, and she didn’t think that she could muster up the courage to tell Twilight…that…right now.

“You know what? Never mind, It wasn’t really that important…” she bit back a small sob at the end. “I’ll catch you later Twi…”

She took off, following Derpy to berate Thunderlane and left a bewildered Twilight staring after her on the ground.

“Uh, Applejack? What the hay was that about?”

“Ah have absolutely no idea! Nope! None! Can’t imagine why Rainbow was acting all uppity there!” Applejack lied in her usual fashion.

“Applejack…” Twilight said warningly, knowing full well that she was lying.

“Oh! Uh, be right there Big Mac! Sorry Twilight, Ah gotta go help my brother with the plough!” she quickly said before she dashed off to go help her brother.

Confident that she had not suddenly gone deaf, Twilight knew Big Mac did not call for his sister. She huffed and asked herself, “What is going on with everypony today?!” Still mulling this over, she decided to go check up on Pinkie.

“…and then she just flew off! She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and I know Applejack knows something, but she won’t tell me! Uhhh, what should I do Pinkie?” Twilight asked as she watched Pinkie skate back and forth on the frozen surface of one of Ponyville’s smaller lakes. The rest of her team was busy cutting up the ice in the larger lake.

“Don’t you worry about Dashie, Twilight! I have a finny feeling that everything’s going to turn out okay!” Pinkie chirped as she glided across the lake.

She stood up on her hind legs and put a hoof to her chin in thought and said, “Wait a minute. That doesn’t make any sense! Why would I have a finny feeling if I don’t have any fins? Unless!” Pinkie gasped, “Unless I really do have fins and can go swimming underwater without holding my breath!”

“Uh, Pinkie, I’m pretty sure you don’t have any fins,” Twilight deadpanned.

“Aww, you sure?”

“Very.”

“Okie dokie lokie! What was it you were saying about your chat with Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked, suddenly changing the topic.

“Well, I told her that I think I’m coming down with something, and when I listed my symptoms she suddenly got all nervous and sent me off to check on Applejack,” Twilight said as she recounted her tale.

“Well, what were the symptoms? Auntie Pinkie’s here to help!”

“Riiiiight,” Twilight said unconvinced as she listed off her symptoms to Pinkie, “So what do you think?”

Pinkie giggled and bounced as she skated on the lake, “Sounds to me like somepony’s got a crush!”

Twilight’s eyes widened and her pupils shrank to pinpricks, “I..but..what?! Me?! A crush?! That’s absolutely ridiculous! Where would you even get an idea like that?!”

“Aw, come on now Twilight, don’t deny what you’re really feeling,” Pinkie said in a singsong voice, completely unfazed by Twilight’s outburst.

“But if what you said is true, then that would mean I have a crush on…” Twilight’s eyes widened even more at this realization. No. No. I can’t have a crush on Rainbow Dash of all ponies!...can I? I’m so confused…I need to talk to somepony about this, but who? Fluttershy’s too nervous, Applejack refused to say anything, Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Pie, and that leaves…

“You okay Twilight?”

Snapping back to reality, Twilight immediate shouted, “Yes! I’m perfectly fine! I just need to go check up on Rarity’s progress with the nests! Keep up the great work Pinkie!” Leaving her friend wondering what was up with her, she galloped away, heading towards the Carousel Boutique.

As soon as she arrived she spotted the alabaster unicorn, so she yelled, “Rarity!”

Rarity jumped in surprise, “Goodness, Twilight, you of all ponies should know not to sneak up on another pony like that unannounced; you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Sorry Rarity, I just really need to talk to you right now,” Twilight tried to explain.

“Oh, of course darling. We are making excellent progress on the nests and we should have everything sorted by the time the pegasi get back with the southern birds. I do have a question though, where is Spike? He would be a big help right now,” Rarity said.

“That’s great, Rarity, and Spike decided to stay in and hibernate through Winter Wrap Up this year after getting dumped in a cold lake last year. I desperately need to talk to you about something really important. Alone,” Twilight explained as quickly as possible.

“Oh, but of course! Let’s go talk over here where there are fewer prying ears,” Rarity directed her over to a nearby tree, “Now dear, what seems to be the problem?”

With a sigh, Twilight recounted her tale for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, “So apparently I have a crush on Rainbow Dash, and I have no idea what to do about it!” Twilight finished at a pace that would have made Pinkie Pie proud.

“Hold on, Twilight. You say you think you have a crush on our Rainbow Dash. Do you know if you have one though?” Rarity asked very seriously.

“I don’t know!” Twilight said. “That’s why I came to see you! You have more experience in this area that anypony I know!”

“Flattered as I am Twilight, before I can help you, I need to know if you really do have a crush on Rainbow, and if it’s anything more than a little schoolfilly’s crush.”

“Okay…” Twilight said, beginning to calm down. “What do I do?”

“I want you to describe Rainbow Dash to me-” Rarity started to say.

“What’s the point of that? You already know her as well as I do,” Twilight interrupted.

“Please, Twilight. If I am going to help you, I need you to trust me, okay?”

Twilight thought a moment before nodding her head slowly.

“Good, now describe Rainbow Dash to me. Tell me about her personality; tell me how you two got so close,” Rarity continued.

“Okay…well Rainbow Dash is…Rainbow Dash. She’s confident, funny, always knows how to make me smile, even better than Pinkie. She’s also caring, she stands up for her friends and is undoubtedly loyal.” As Twilight listed the details off her eyes closed and a smile found its way onto her face. “She’s athletic, strong, and actually…really pretty. I don’t know, I can’t put the essence of Rainbow Dash into words…She’s just…perfect,” Twilight said as she opened her eyes and realization dawned on her. All of these weeks of stuttering, weak knees, and blushing around Rainbow finally made sense.

“Good. Then I think I know what you have to do,” Rarity said with a calm tone despite her excitement and happiness for Rainbow Dash.

Twilight, also beginning to get excited, asked, “What? What do I need to do?”

“Oh, It’s quite simple, really. You march right up to Rainbow Dash after we’re done with Winter Wrap Up and ask her out,” Rarity said matter-of-factly.

“What?! How can I do that?! What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Rarity, I just made sense of these feelings! I don’t think I can handle rejection!” Twilight said in despair.

“Calm down, Twilight. Everything will be okay in the end, I promise you that. Besides, how will you know if she feels the same way if you don’t ask her?”

Twilight gaped as she grasped for any fault in her friend’s logic. She found none and admitted defeat and said, “Okay…I’ll ask her tonight after we’re done.”

“Good,” Rarity said as she hugged Twilight.


After a long day of working to wrap up winter and herald the beginning of spring, six mares found themselves celebrating outside of Sugarcube Corner with a glass of cider in hoof.

“Phew! Ah can’t believe we actually got it all done, and with the sun still up no less!” Applejack exclaimed as she wiped her brow with her hoof.

“Come on, AJ! With Twilight planning and organizing everything from the get-go how was it not going to go flawlessly?” Rainbow quipped.

Blushing slightly at the compliment, Twilight turned to address her friends, “Yeah, we did it. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. I don’t know about you girls, but I’m ready to hit the hay. But first, Rainbow do you think I can talk to you over by the well?”

“Uhh, yeah. Sure Twi.’”

As she walked past Applejack she could hear her whisper, “Go get her, filly!” and was met with encouraging nods from the rest of her friends.

Steeling herself for what was probably going to be the most terrifying moment of her life, Rainbow ran after Twilight and met her by the old town wishing well.

“Twilight, I wanted to ask you-”

“Hang on a second Rainbow, there’s something really important that I need to tell you, and it can’t wait,” Twilight said urgently, cutting Rainbow off.

Sighing, Rainbow looked up to Twilight, “Okay, you first. I’m all ears.”

“Well, these past few weeks I’ve been having these really weird…symptoms I guess you could call them,” Twilight started, pacing back and forth as she collected her thoughts, “And for the longest time they confused me to no end. No matter how many medical books I read I just couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. That is, until today.”

Twilight stopped and stared Rainbow Dash in the eyes. Blushing profusely, she willed herself to go on.

“It’s you, Rainbow Dash. For weeks now you’ve been plaguing my thoughts subconsciously, and now that I’ve realized what’s been going on, I can’t get you out of my head. Your beautiful eyes, your strong wings, your wonderful rainbow mane…they’re stuck there. Every time I see you or hear your voice my heart starts fluttering and my stomach feels all woozy, and I don’t know if you feel the same but…”

By now, Rainbow Dash’s blush had grown to mirror Twilight’s and her wings instinctively flexed outwards.

Is she…? No, she couldn’t be saying…Rainbow Dash thought.

“Will you be my special somepony this Winter Wrap Up?” Twilight finished, blushing furiously, hoping that Rainbow wouldn’t blow her off.

Rainbow was pretty sure the street they were standing on had a new dent from the impact of her jaw hitting the ground. Her mind kept on replaying what Twilight had said over and over again like a stuck record player needle.

“Will you be my special somepony?” “Will you be my special somepony?”

It was only when Twilight started speaking again did Rainbow realize that she hadn’t responded. She looked up and saw Twilight with tears in her eyes. The sight alone was enough to break her heart.

“I…I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll just go now,” Twilight said dejectedly.

“No wait!” Rainbow shouted as she flew in front of Twilight, “I’m the one who should be apologizing! Look…the thing is…I’ve kinda had this massive crush on you for a while now…and every time I tried to tell you I froze up like some nervous schoolfilly.”

She took a deep breath before facing Twilight, “Twilight Sparkle, I would love nothing more than to be your special somepony.”

She stepped forward and nuzzled Twilight affectionately by the ear before the new couple shared their first kiss.


Meanwhile, back at the library, Spike walked out of the kitchen with a yawn and stretched after his long nap.

“Huh? What’s this?”

Spike strolled over to Twilight’s desk where he found a new book lying open.

“Must be a new book for the library that Twilight was reading, let’s see…
‘Yet, while the importance of Winter Wrap Up and the renewal of the land cannot be understated, it is not the true meaning of the coming of spring. Spring, while indeed the time of revitalization, is also the time of growth. It is a time for change, a time for new relationships and new goals to be pursued in earnest. If there is one thing that you take with you after finishing this book, dear reader, it is this: the true meaning of Winter Wrap Up and the coming of spring is the budding of new love.’
“Wow…” Spike said as he considered the book before him, “How cheezy is that?”

Author's Note:

And with that I finish my first attempt at writing romance that's longer than 1,000 words! I know I said I'd get this posted yesterday on the first official day of spring but...I lied. I do that sometimes.

Let me know what you think! This is my first real attempt at TwiDash and any and all input is valued!

Comments ( 90 )

A very enjoyable read. So enjoyable, in fact, I missed my bus stop. Eh, it was worth it! :rainbowkiss: I reckon you pretty much nailed the Mane Six characterisation in this story, although the romance side, as in any story, would have been nice with more development. Don't take this as a criticism, this was obviously intended to be a small, sweet story, but I'm a real sucker for cute pony romance.

From a cold-hearted, analytical standpoint, there were a few cases of capitalisation errors and perhaps a slightly more unconventional style of thought punctuation, but none of this detracted from the reading experience itself. Expanding on my previous point, I tend to see thought punctuation used as such:
'Hey, look, I'm thinking a thought!'
Still, this was a lovely story and was certainly worth reading. Best of luck with your future works! :twilightsmile:

2297280 I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile: Sorry I made you miss your buss though. Good to know this is hopefully good! We'll just have to wait for other people to read it...and then the faves and likes/dislikes may or may not trickle in O_O

Cute and fluffy overload! :pinkiehappy: Good stuff, and written well to boot!

2297288
I have come, to read the pony romance. It was glorious.:pinkiecrazy:

CDFA #5 · Mar 21st, 2013 · · 1 ·

And then they had sex.

You said you were gonna get it done. Then you take an extra day. Then I wake up. And then I look online and see your story. Was like YAY, now I read it and now... I loved it hahaha. Characterization was dead on, you got Twilights over analytical mind, The mane six was perfectly characterized, and now, GOOD STORY MY GOOD SIR! (Told you you could make a damn good longer story... Pfft. 1000 words hahahaha aha.) :twilightsmile:

a little rushed. but still rather nice

2297454

Lol it wasn't uploaded yesterday because I offered to edit it for him! I finished it just before 1am last night, but he wasn't on skype, so I had to email it to him. :twilightsheepish:

2297601Hahaha, I heard :twilightsmile: So technically he did do his goal. He finished it yesterday, just couldn't post :raritywink: Btw great job on the prrofread/edit. I couldn't find anything.

2297658

Thanks! Ya know, if you want, your work could look like this.:twilightsheepish:

Timaeus. STAHP. Quit writing adorable TwiDash that swells my Read Later list!

What a fantastic thing to stumble upon. I only found this by accident, but i am so glad i did. Love the way you wrote... well, all of it, the characters were spot on, the romance was cute and sweet, just the sort of thing you want in this kind of story, you got everything perfect. Man, i love this story. :pinkiehappy:

*takes off monacle*
Hmmm
*squints*
I dare say this is a fine piece of Twidash, good sir.

In all seriousness, very nicely done. I must say it was interesting, and while I have been reading way too many of these things recently, very entertaining. I look forward to your next story.

Also, and you called me the king of fluff?

d'aaaw that fluff:twilightsmile:

Holy balls that's a lot of comments. Okay's let's do this:

2297333 I have a tendency to make any kind of romance I write overly fluffy and cute without really meaning to lately... I'm glad you enjoyed it!

2297337 D'aww thanks!

2297353 2297597 GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

2297454 What can I say? You were right the whole time my friend. And I would take The Abyss up on the offer by the way, he's a phenomenal editor.

2297580 Yeah...it was a little rushed. I thought up the idea the day-before-yesterday and I really really wanted to get it done for Winter Wrap Up :derpytongue2: Technically I did. And also it would have been a lot worse if not for my editor's care and fine eye for grammar, even if it did take until the next day to get it posted.

2297878 ...maaaaaaaaybe

2298172 Sup dawg :eeyup: Enjoy the story?

2298230 I'm afraid I can't do that buddy. I got another chapter of Jukebox Scribbles in the cards for tomorrow :}

2298392 :pinkiehappy: Thanks! Really, I was pretty nervous posting this!

2298566 I share your sympathies...I have been spending waaaay too much time on this website reading stories...a good deal of them TwiDash :rainbowderp: And as it turns out I am a potential usurper to your throne. You may want to deal with that at some point.

2298926 DANG IT YOU JUST HAD TO POST THE COMMENT WHEN I WAS RESPONDING TO THE OTHERS AND MISS YOU!

I'm glad to hear people seem to be enjoying this! :twilightsmile: I can go home happy now!

2298956
Are you telling me I need to write more chapters?

2298969
Of course this one is sneaky:rainbowwild:

2298981 I'm not saying anything. You do have one of the best prompt stories I've seen though.

2298982 1.bp.blogspot.com/-4bBarmC8Bzs/T15evpKc_4I/AAAAAAAACuA/B1XbTlUryYQ/s1600/anigif_enhanced-buzz-24252-1331327230-31.gif
The sneakiest

Daaaaaaaw! For a first Twidash fix its one of the better ones I've read and I was getting bored when I saw this I was like Yes! Something to keep me busy! And man did it do just that :twilightsmile:

2299671 :pinkiehappy: I'm glad you thought so! I had fun writing it, even though it was a bit rushed.

Good story, really fluffy :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss:

IT'S SO FLUFFEH!!!
J'aime. :3

<3 DarqFox

Great job with this story! I think you did a perfect job with the characters and the plot was absolutley perfect. I really hope that you decide to write more TwiDash romances of similar length or even longer. I look forward to reading more form you in the future. Keep up the great writing!

2300614 D'aawww thanks! I take it I should probably move this into the Fluff folder of the TwiDash group :derpytongue2:

2300761 I LIKE FLUFFEH!!! <3

2301416 Thanks, and I'm honoured that you added this to your own "Best Stories Ever" group! Seriously, thank you!

2301526
:rainbowderp: I forgot to fave this story. SACRILEGE!
I liek. Moar of this awesomeness plawks. :3

<3 DarqFox

2301618 All is forgiven. Okie. I will try and get something up today for JS, sound good?

<3 (only for you Darq)

Really cute and characters seemed spot on. For a first attempt at TwiDash AND longer romance, I'd say you accomplished the task quite well. Congrats on hitting the feature box!:yay:

My only quip is that you should maybe add more plot (heh) and storyline behind the feelings. Like, maybe some more looks into how they handle the feelings within, not just 'I talk to some friends and now I have a crush' know what I mean? I understand, small one-shot works dont get around easily, but even still, you did really well! not too little content, not too much content. :eeyup:

Yay TwiDash! I'm a softie when it comes to TwiDash..theyre sooooooooo cute! :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

Keep doin what you do, and please do try more shipfics! I like your style!:raritystarry:

2301727 Thanks a lot! And yes, I agree. Like I said before, this was indeed a bit rushed. I thought up the idea the day before I wrote it and really wanted to get it done for Winter Wrap Up :derpytongue2: I should also mention this is purely the product of listening to 'Winter Wrap Up' one too many times and thinking of something TwiDash-y to write. I do have something in the cards for a little later, and I plan to make it multi-chapter so their should be more time for feelings to be developed and handled. Thanks for your input!

2301758
Hey, no problem! Writers need to help writers if we hope to ever improve!

I know the feel with the short content thing, I've been having trouble myself writing fics based off loose ideas (let alone pony inspired ones) and making them so good (like this one)

Keep it up and I'm glad to contribute suggestions. Besides, what could writers do to their work with "Nice story"?
~Dash:rainbowkiss:

Aaaaaaaand... Featured! Congratulations. If ever happy fluffy d'aaawww-inducing diabetically sweet shipping deserved the Featured box, then this is it.

Damn you! Do you have any idea how long it took me to get the Winter Wrap Up song out of my head? Months!! :flutterrage:

Great story though! :twilightsmile:

2301689
I feel special now. :3

I'ma work on a surprise little story. I tink u will liek. :3

<3 DarqFox

To all the men who lost there masculinity.
*Ahem*
Let’s Roll. -- Todd Beamer on United Airlines Flight 93
I came. I saw. I conquered. — Julius Caesar
You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas. — Davy Crockett
Come on, you sons of b*tches! Do you want to live forever? — GySgt. Daniel J. ‘Dan’ Daly, as he led the 5th Marines’ attack into Belleau Wood, 6 June 1918

The story is pretty by-the-numbers but just kinda stumbled in several places. The characters feelings are telegraphed hard, to the point that any level of genre savviness gives away the plot wholesale. That's usually not a deal breaker with shipfics, but you were constantly shifting the point of view from Twilight to Rainbow mid-scene with no real breaks or transitions and that completely ruined the tension.

It's typically bad form to shift the point-of-view mid-scene as it messes with the flow and can make things confusing at times. It's worse when your story is relying heavily on a character's thoughts to relay information to the audience. Due to the sudden shifts, I found myself getting confused several times trying to realize who was thinking what thoughts. At first, it felt like the story was from Twilight's pov, then suddenly it flips to Rainbow then back to Twilight all in one scene. Lack of general scene transitions between pov shifts made much of the story feel like one giant scene, even though you have multiple time skips where you could have broken things up. Those moments: "After a couple hours of talking about planning of sequences..." or when Twilight made the trip from Fluttershy's area to Applejack's, etc, are good places to make a scene cut. In the latter, especially, as you have the entire trip through the 'snowy fields' happen nigh instantly between two sentences in the same paragraph.

Just because you are writing in third-person-omniscient, does not mean you are allowed to rapidly shift focus mid-scene. Try to stick to one 'main' character per scene and use as few character shifts in-scene as you can. Also, thoughts-dumping in third-person-omniscient is not something to use heavily, if at all. Try to convey a character's thoughts as description instead of just typing them out word for word. Done properly, you'll have a much stronger story and be able to give more depth to your characters. Typing out thoughts is best saved for the third-person-limited and first-person points-of-view. In general, a lack of thoughts dumping will make rapid character shifts much less jarring should they prove necessary.

When using a dual point-of-view, it is important that the audience is allowed to spend enough time in the characters' view that they can understand and relate to the character's feelings and the situation. The point of the dual pov approach is to allow the audience to see two different sides of the same situation (or see two different situations, but that's not relevant to this story). Instead of letting us spend time with Rainbow Dash on her own, you just dumped her pov right in the middle of Twilight's whenever Rainbow entered the scene, which not only made the sudden shifts jarring, but also robbed the audience of any real chance to empathize or relate to Rainbow. Not to mention it denied a lot of insight into Rainbow's character and left Twilight to carry the story and provide all of the tension (she failed at that, by the way).

I can see that you were aiming for a story where two characters who have already fallen for each other struggle with actually acting on those feelings. One character who has to come to terms with her feelings and recognize them for what they are, while the other is struggling to simply admit the feelings she's had for a long time. The dual pov was certainly the right choice, but as I said, you didn't show the audience both sides of the story very well; nor did you portray either character's inner conflict with their feelings in any level of detail. The result was something that, while a bit sweet and fluffy, felt massively rushed and forced as it stumbled, clunkily to tell the shell of a story.

2301769 Well if you ever want someone to proofread over anything that you have, just give me a shout! And this is fact, but hearing "nice story" always brightens my mood so I'm grateful to anybody who even takes the time to write that out :twilightsmile: It's still infinitely better than the people that decide to dislike something I write without giving a reason.

2301956 So many adjectives... And thanks buddy!

2302021 The Winter Wrap Up song was the primary reason I wrote this in the first place :rainbowderp: And it succeeded to get the song out of my head and into everybody who read this :rainbowwild:

2302222 Ha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

2302244 Oooh I look forward to reading it. <3

2302433 I can scare those cowards away without any help. - Goliath, Gargoyles

2303471 *whistles* That's a long comment. I see your point(s) and thank you for taking the time it must have taken to write such an in-depth analysis of this story. Seriously, thank you. Though I will respond to a few things that you have said. First, as I have said many times, this was indeed rushed. I recognize that, and will have to live with the consequences of it. Second, the intent of this story was to be a short one-shot no more than 6,000 words, so I can see how I was skimpy with portraying inner conflict of the characters (specifically Twilight and Rainbow Dash).

As I have also mentioned before, this was my first real attempt at writing any kind of romance. I discount my other story, Jukebox Scribbles, because it is a collection of mini-stories that have little continuity. So I never expected this to be perfect by any means, nor do I expect anything I write to reach that level of quality you outlined in your review. As to why this story of mine reached the Feature Box is beyond me. I am by no means a great author. I am simply a decent writer who decided to put this together at the last minute to try and make it ready enough for Winter Wrap Up. Turns out I failed at that too.

As for typing out the character's thoughts...I'm still not sure whether or not I agree with you there. This story was largely meant to focus on Twilight with some Rainbow Dash. I wasn't sure how else I could have communicated in those few cases what Rainbow was thinking otherwise. I personally like communicating a character's thoughts by, well, literally communicating their thoughts in character. When I did this, I thought it would clearly portray what the character's were thinking. Also, I did restrict explicit thought-telling in this story to Twilight and Rainbow, the focal characters. The others had their emotions communicated in the manner you suggested, albeit short and not with great detail as this was meant to be a short fiction. The purpose of a story must always be considered when writing. Writing out a character's thoughts, especially if the scene focuses on them, I guess is my kind of style. If you read my other limited selection of works, you will find the same method used.

I am sorry that you did not find this story enjoyable, but I again thank you for telling me why instead of simply down-voting it as most people would do in your case. I respect your critique of my work, and I respect you for it. Also thought I should mention that I respect you for your own works. See people? Now that's REAL TwiDash. I personally loved "What Brings Us Together."

2303585 The problem with simply typing out thoughts in third-omni, is that it lacks depth that can be found in actual description. Sure it might be easier and make certain thought processes highly transparent, but it doesn't add to the scene anymore than regular dialogue. Think about it like this, what is stronger:

Guess I’ll just have to wait to discover the ‘true meaning of the coming of spring’ until after today.

or

Twilight cast a forlorn glance at the unfinished tome. The knowledge that she would have to wait several hours to finally uncover the 'true meaning of the coming of Spring' gnawed the back of her mind. She never liked leaving a book unfinished and knew it would be a distraction until she could return this evening to sate her curiosity.

I understand the temptation to simply type out the first one and keep going. I used to do exactly what you did here and type thoughts out at every opportunity. It wasn't an easy habit for me to break, but doing so made my writing much stronger at telling a story and developing a character. Please keep in mind, I don't advocate never using it ever, but that it should not be the primary method of thought conveyance in a third person omniscient point of view. If you can avoid it entirely, so much the better.

A good lesson I've had to learn is that the beauty of fanfiction (and really any non-commercial writing) is that you aren't on a time limit. If you aren't procrastinating heavily, then you don't ever need to do a rush job on a story. Rushing a story out will always lead to inferior quality. If you know that you've rushed things, then just don't publish it yet. Take your time and fix it. There is seriously no excuse for shoving out something you know you've not spent enough time with. Take it from someone whose still learning from that lesson.:twilightsheepish:

For a first romance, it's not terrible. Like I said, it was clear what you wanted to do, you just got ham-stringed by your word limit and pov issues. You can do a lot more than you think with 6k. The biggest thing to learn when writing under a word limit is learning to pare out unnecessary words so you can fit in what you need in order to tell the story right. For instance, you could save a few hundred words by dropping the intro-info-dump and starting with a brief line about what Twilight was reading and moving right to her first line of dialogue. You could use scene breaks as time skips without having to tell us that "Twilight spent several hours talking with the Mayor", and so on. It isn't easy, but it is something you can practice at. Timed writing challenges, like those thirty-minute prompts are amazing at helping you learn to cut pointless fluff. Just spend some time practicing and you'll be amazed at how much you can do with limits. The best part is that those skills help even more when writing longer stories.

2303837

I just have to say that your analysis of this story is spot on and mirrors what I think almost exactly. Thanks, now I don't have to write anything like it myself! :)

2303837 See that's the difference between us. I am an okay writer while you I consider to be one of the greater writers on this website. I will take what you've said to heart, and after thinking it over some more I see what you mean. I like using direct thoughts sometimes, especially for certain characters I write that don't vocalize themselves very often. But I really do see the difference here with what I wrote and what you wrote.

And you're right, I really shouldn't place time limits on myself as much as I do. I guess I just get worried that if I don't put a time limit on myself then I won't get around to it. I suppose that's just university starting to rub off on me though :facehoof:

Also sorry if I came off a little defensive back there. This was honestly my first critical review of anything I've written thus far. I wasn't exactly expecting to read one after walking home from a long week :derpytongue2: So thanks to you (and Zanzibar!) for giving me many things to take into consideration and for providing me with a means to help improve my writing for future projects.

One last thing: I've figured out why this was featured. It was due to the sheer number of TwiDash shippers and fans on this website :derpytongue2: I consider it a success however in one regard. Simply that it was able to get your attention and compel you to write out such a lengthy review. :twilightsmile:

>Twidash

Why

2303992 Gah, I've always been terrible at dealing with flattery, or even compliments in some cases. I appreciate the vote of confidence, even if I rarely feel I live up to such praise.

As a writer/artist, never regret attention for your works! Attention is how you attract feedback.:pinkiehappy:

Yes, Uni is great for teaching the importance of not procrastinating. Though, for a free time activity/hobby, try to set realistic goals. For instance, instead of a hard release date, strive to write at least X words per day (what ever fits you schedule). Then once you've got a chapter done, throw it at your pre-readers/editors and let them rip on it for a few days (or however long they need, so long as they are thorough), then address their concerns... then post it. It's still a schedule that you'll be following, but one that will leave time to work out kinks ahead of time.

Trust me, you didn't sound abrasive at all. I'm used to much more colorful responses to my critiques. Not everyone is willing to discuss criticism calmly, and for that I thank you.

The longer you view a method as 'my style' the harder it is to break that habit and try something new. Don't think of basic presentation mechanics as a 'style', but as a tool. If the tool isn't doing what you need it to, it's much easier to change it when there's no personal attachment to it.

2304099 Hey Regidar, what brings you here?

2304103 I agree, and that's probably a better method for writing that what I've been doing. Uni's been great for a lot of things, but sadly I find all of me free time quickly getting sucked up by it. This spring I'll probably be in class from 8:30-5:30 Mondays through Fridays :facehoof:

After growing up with a few certain people around me, I've learned that getting mad at anybody who critiques your work or what you do (constructively or otherwise) just leads to more trouble than it's worth. Especially when it comes to interactions online, I mediate everything I say as things tend to get thrown way out of proportion when it's not face-to-face.

2304362 Okie. Just checking. Thought I'd make idle chit-chat as I passed by.

2304499 The passing.

This was a fine fic, not really remarkable but I liked it.

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