Chapter 15: Familiar Faces
Chapter 15: Familiar Faces
I must admit, for being of a species with perhaps the stubbiest, most inarticulate appendages I’ve seen, the workmanship that Kenta put into this most recent project of his was astounding. Yet again, I was stripped down, but this time, I had a dog that barely came to chest-height sniffing and slobbering as he wrapped measuring tape against my form. I also had my companions, whom were all talking amongst themselves nearby. Seeing as I was left with little else to do while being idly scrutinized by this tinker, tanner, soldier and smith, I started making small talk.
“So Kenta,” I started, raising my arms as he measured my breast. “How does a Diamond Dog like you get in this kind of business?”
Kenta’s ears perked up almost immediately. “Do you think you have the time?”
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” I chuckled, my lips curled into a generous smile. “Besides; it’ll help this go by a little faster.”
The smith chuckled, clearing his throat.
“The story’s not long, but it started like this,” He woofed. “When I was about your age, I was a mining boy for my clan. Most boys my type were destined for that, given our apt digging claws and natural sense of direction deep in those deep, dark mines. But, as tends to happen in more frontiers-y areas, my clan got into a territory dispute with that of a neighbor, and I ended up being pulled from my digging duties to help with the clan battle.”
Kenta looked down for a moment, chuckling bitterly at himself. “As you might expect, mountain ledges tend to be quite narrow, and during the skirmish, poor ol’ me ended up falling off of one of them. I ended up taking a number of nicks and cuts on the way down. Even bumped my hand before I hit the surface of a lake.”
I winced empathetically. “I know the feeling of a rough fall all too well.”
“So what happened next?” Spike asked, one of his arms crossed against his chest.
“I’m getting to that, boy,” he barked. “When I came to, I was in the camp of a clan called the Marauders. Their scouts found my body beached along the shore and took me in for their medical attention. I had no idea where my people were, or where I was, but the Marauders took me in as their own and gave me a place among their ranks.
“I was quickly put to work as a smithee, and from there, I learned a trade that I would find I was very good at. Anyone could learn to wield a weapon with enough training, but it takes a special kind of talent to work a forge and make tools and weapons from the finest wrought iron and coronium, forging axe-heads and spear tips from red-hot steel! From my first days on the job, I came to find my greatest calling of all: Blacksmithing!”
“And at what point did hunting monsters get into the equation?” I pondered.
Kenta chortled. “Well, like any smith, sometimes you come to a point where traditional materials just don’t cut it. Sometimes, when you need something effective, the best resources are the ones you collect off the backs of queer beasties! I found this out when our party was stopped in its tracks by a manticore. Thing was keen on keeping us right where we were, but I wasn’t having it. Most folk wouldn’t have had the guts to face such a beast alone, but I was far from most folk. I met that beast face to face, and we had the fight of our lives. He gave me a rough battle, but by the end, I had a beast ready to be taken apart and built into all manner of useful tools and tack!”
I frowned for a moment, remembering the beast I’d felled not long ago.
“Do you…” I stammered, looking down. “Do you ever regret having to do things like this?”
Kenta stopped his measuring for a moment as he jotted down some notes.
“There’s never a day where I don’t have a little tinge of regret, lad,” he said, somewhat down himself. “Good or ill, it never gets very easy. But, when the deed is done, that’s when I start to work on a new bit of kit. I’m not sure if I’ve told you, but I’ve got a policy of never wastin’ a single bit of a monster I’ve slain. Same goes for this build.”
I chuckled bittersweetly. “Funny… that’s what Aylen wanted.”
“I’m just eager to oblige,” Kenta yipped. “Plenty of fodder to work with. I even get to use my purification set.”
Roughshod cocked his head. "Purification? Are you a holy stallion as well?”
“Not at all,” Kenta rebuked, shaking his head. “Just someone who pays fair debt to the dead.”
With that, the diamond dog took a few sniffs of me for whatever reason and removed the measuring tape from my body, jotting down some notes.
“Right, I’ve got your measurements down,” he said, guiding me down from the pedestal he had me standing on. “It will take me a fair bit of time to construct this piece, however; feel free to use the time to have a nice bath; you smell like you haven’t had one in days.”
I glared daggers at the dog. “Gee, that makes me feel loads better.”
As I tried to perk myself up and search for something to wear for after my bath, I bumped into Spike, who gave me a concerned look.
“What’s up, Lance?” he asked. “Need help with something?”
I groaned. “Apparently dog breath thinks I need a bath. Know of a good lake or something where I could wash this stink off me? I’d rather not return to civilization smelling like death itself.”
“I could take you there,” Nia offered. “I have some wonderful soaps that could do wonders for your skin.”
I smiled and gestured my arm for her to take the lead. “Please, feel free.”
Sometimes, it’s great to have friends.
***
While I feel a mite guilty taking advantage of a friend’s natural talents, having a friend who was a natural water dowser was an all-too handy asset. As we passed through the trees, Nia taking point, I had a chance to clear my head. With all that had happened to me in the past few days, I needed some time with someone I could trust to get my mind right. I’d been near the bottom of the abyss, and I needed the help of a few friends to pull me out again. Now that that I was out, I felt…different. My mind was frayed and I wasn’t quite sure how to put it back together.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to go through it on my own.
When the two of us stopped, Nia’s natural dowsing skills had succeeded by a decent margin. Before us was a small pool surrounded by a ring of numerous wild flowers—thankfully without poison joke—that, while not terribly wide, was decently deep. The two of us had a quick look around, keeping our equipment near the shore in case of trouble. I had previously managed to retrieve my old clothing and weapons, but the upper parts of my clothes had been tattered by the kerfuffle, and while my spear was still in one piece, I doubted the dried blood was doing its condition any favors. Still, while I doubted I would need them, having them was like a nightlight in a dark room; not really necessary, but it’s nice to have anyway.
The two of us waded into the water, shivering as it reached our knees. Nia held a block of soap in her teeth, being careful not to to taste it, and she rose up on her hind legs.
“Thankfully, I also mixed in aloe vera with this blend, which should help treat some of these wounds,” Nia cooed, beginning to brush the soap against my shoulders. “If it stings, that’s just the aloe.”
“Thank you, Nia,” I replied, spreading my arms out. “I’ve sorely needed something like this.”
The two of us spent a fair while rubbing ourselves with the homebrewed bar of cleanliness, enjoying the sun as it started to warm us up. We weren’t ashamed, embarrassed, or uncomfortable in our ritual. We were just two friends sharing a nice, calm, relaxing bath together. Considering the alternatives, I was happy to enjoy what I had.
Then, Nia came to a stop, looking to me with concern.
“I can see that you still have doubts about your earlier actions.”
“It doesn’t take a mystic to see that,” I said, heaving a heavy sigh as I dropped my arms into the water. “She begged me, again and again to bring her to her end, and gave me explicit instructions for what was to be done with her, and I still feel like I shouldn’t have done it.” I looked to my reflection in the water. “Is it truly just to end a life whose evils weren’t even wholly its own volition? Is it right to slay a reluctant monster, and then wear its remains as armor?”
Nia shook her head. “I’m afraid that such a question isn’t as black and white as my coat. Things as murky as this can only truly be answered by the one asking the question.”
Nia cradled me as gently as she could.
“Ask yourself,” she whispered. “Do you think what you’re doing is right, in your heart of hearts?”
I sank down, looking to my forlorn reflection in the lake.
“No.”
Nia turned to face the lake with me.
“If you would like me to, I have a story that might help you,” she said, looking to my reflection. “In the time before I came to know Equestrian soil, I was the student of a mystic named Dejen. When the two of us had met, my family was the victim of a murderer, and I was one of the few survivors. He had taken me in and given me a place to call home, and offered to teach me in an art he called the ‘Way of Four Winds’. Wanting to avenge the wrongs done upon my family, I took the chance willingly.
“But, Dejen was wiser than I’d given him credit for. When he came to notice my motivation for learning to fight, he sat me down and talked to me about my largest ills, and he taught me an important lesson; while righting what is wrong is a noble intention, it should never be done purely out of malice or despair. While it may be the right thing to avenge your family’s passing, what would happen then? What reason would I have to fight again?
“It was then that he helped me to realize that in order to see the path to bettering one’s self, both from within and without, one has to look deep inside themselves and be certain of their true goal. Good things may happen to Ill people, and vice-versa, but harmony and virtue are a balance. To see the way forward, you have to seek the balance and question the righteousness of your choices.”
Nia smiled and placed a hoof upon my shoulder.
“In other words, he taught me that the greatest voice of reason you can find in the world is inside of you. If you ever doubt yourself, look within, and you’ll find your way in time.”
I looked down, now a small bit relieved as I looked upon myself.
“What became of Dejen?” I asked.
Nia gave an odd form of smile. It wasn’t completely happy, nor entirely heartbroken. If I had to describe it in a word, I suppose “bittersweet” would be best.
“Master Dejen was many things,” she sighed wistfully. “He was strong, compassionate, and full of virtue and wisdom. But the thing he never was, even in my knowing him, was long for this world. Thankfully, with what little time he had in his life, he was able to pass on his wealth of knowledge onto me before he was eventually taken back by the spirits.”
I turned away from Nia, looking to the sky.
“I apologize,” I whispered. “I didn’t know he’d passed away.”
“Don’t be,” Nia assured. “The time between his passing and my meeting you is too long for me to spend in mourning. Dejen was long-lived, and the virtues and lessons he taught me will stay with me even after I eventually join him. Until then, I can work to pass what I know to a new generation and do whatever good I can in this life.”
I stayed quiet for a while, taking in the sounds of nature as I thought about all that I’d said and heard. I was still reticent about my deepest thoughts on the more recent matters, but having someone with which to talk them out with somepony helped me to open up. The two of us remained silent, understanding the weights we bore as we continued to wash our troubles away in the pond. There was a lot for both of us to process, and we moved in autonomous patterns, multitasking our mental and physical duties. Focusing on one thing was taxing for my psyche.
And then, upon a tangent, my mind spoke for me.
“Could you perhaps demonstrate your style to me?”
Nia looked at me like I was daft. I suppose she didn’t expect me to ask that kind of question so very soon after hearing her own life story, but following a moment’s contemplation, she gave a smirk and raised one of her hooves.
“Only if you believe you’re in a good enough condition to handle it,” she challenged, wagging her hoof towards her in beckoning.
I flashed a smirk back to her, clenching my fist and thrusting it out with tenacity, wincing as my bruises flared up for a moment.
Nia chuckled. “Perhaps later then.”
The two of us then resumed bathing, content on enjoying the moment of peace we’d been blessed with.
***
Chalk it up to either the skill of the craftsman or my lost track of time, but by the time we’d returned, Kenta had managed to complete most of the ensemble. I was beside myself, both disgusted and amazed at the craftsmanship of the smith. Feathers, bone, claws, and other bits had been fashioned into an impressive suit of armor that was very nearly completely plate-based. Kenta himself looked chuffed at his work, a toothy grin on his face.
“Looks nice, yeah?” He asked, leaning on his work with the biggest dirt-eating look adorning his countenance “It’s always easiest to work with fresh materials!”
I held my arm, turning into my red tunic to try and avoid looking at the ensemble. After coming to understand the weight of what this work of armorsmithing meant to me, it left an disconcerting aura in the air that made me cringe even being near it.
“Yes, it looks…really well-made,” I whispered, trying my best to remain inoffensive.
Kenta quirked his brow. “Something wrong? Do you not like it?”
I bit my lip. My mind scrambled to try to say the truth in a soft, sugary manner, but a burning sensation in my cheeks told me there was no beating around the bush to be had.
“I have some concerns,” I blurted bluntly. “To put it simply, I feel guilty even considering wearing this. I was the one who had to put this creature down, and even then I couldn’t bring myself to make that last cut until I had a good reason to. Everything about this just feels wrong to me.”
Kenta looked me over, holding my chin as he looked into my eyes. I couldn’t help but squirm and try to hide away. Again his nose probed me, and after affirming with himself one last time, he nodded.
“I think I get what you mean,” he grunted. “Don’t feel right wearing something that reminds you of one big bad thing you did. I’ve known the feeling.”
I blinked, both surprised and a tad confused.. “You aren’t mad?”
“Mad?” woofed Kenta. “Of course not! As a hunter, I’ve had this happen many a time in my career. I can’t expect others to be as hardened as I am!”
I looked down, kicking up dirt as a pang of guilt came over me. “But it must feel like such a waste, to go to the trouble of making this and not seeing it go to use.”
Kenta gave me a queer look, cocking his head before he started to break out into a hoarse chuckling fit. One paw went to his stomach as he tried to hold his sides.
“Lance, my boy, I promised to make something of this salvage, and I did,” he gasped, trying to compose himself out from his laughter.. “I never said you had to use it. Heck, if anything, I’m just glad to have had something to keep my paws busy.”
That last line got the internal machinations of my brain turning. An idea had come to me in a sudden burst of alacrity that I could only liken to the rays of sunshine piercing through a thick murk of fog. I had an opportunity to make someone’s day, and with not a moment’s thought, I reached out to seize it.
“So you’ve been having a lack of things to do?” I asked. “If that’s true, then why not come with us?”
Kenta gave an inquisitive growl. “Why the sudden invitation?”
“Well, the way I see it, somepony good with their hooves—or paws, in your case—would be a valuable asset to any traveling company,” I replied, making a gesture with my hands to mimic a scale. “Especially someone with a wealth of outdoorsman’s skills. Stars know we’re likely to run into times where we need to make upkeep, and having someone skilled in the arts of craft would help do just that!”
Spike’s jaw nearly dropped in what seemed like earnest surprise.
“That...is surprisingly prudent of you, Lance,” he gasped, almost at a loss for words. “I honestly didn’t expect that from you.”
I couldn’t help but smile with my newly restored confidence. Kenta held his chin, presumably weighing his options.
“Well, prudent as it may be, I have concerns of overcrowding,” Roughshod retorted.
And right back down my confidence went. I hardly knew it. Instead of trying to one-up the old ass, I simply threw up my arms and admitted defeat. I honestly had no snappy comeback, because in all honesty, he was entirely in the right.
“With that fresh in mind, I feel I have to ask,” Archnid interjected. “When can we expect to return to Pasofino?”
“As soon as we hear the word from our canine friend here,” I declared, fist to my chest. “So how about it? Would you like to join us and see your talents go to good use?”
Kenta’s face had scrunched in concentration by this point. He seemed hard-pressed for options, the way his face had wrinkled. I could hear an audible hum in his voice as he seemed to lean into his paw. Eventually, however, his ears perked and his arms came up in a shrug.
“Why not?” he woofed. “Hunting’s a lonely profession, and I suppose some traveling company might give me plenty to do during the downtime.”
“Wonderful!” I said, giving the dog as tender and masculine a hug as I could. “We make leave as soon as you’re ready.”
“Sure thing, kid.” Kenta gave a smile, pointing with his thumb to his creations. “Just give me a few minutes to pack up shop and we’ll be on our way like a cat chasing a fieldmouse.”
I smiled and waved him away as I turned towards the horizon before us. Napalm soon joined up with a catty grin on her muzzle.
“You know, I’m starting sense a pattern,” she noted pointedly. “For every good idea you have, it seems to be undercut by your lack of forethought.”
I turned to Napalm, never once letting my smile go away.
“You might be right,” I told her, sounding chuffed as cherry pie. “Maybe I’m too quick to make friends. All of this may end up coming back to bite me later, but for now, I’m just happy to enjoy the moment.”
Napalm’s brow furrowed. “You do realize it’s likely another couple of days before we make it to Pasofino, right?”
It was at that point that I immediately began to regret my decision.
***
If ever a record was made of all the stupid things my impulsive nature has led me to do, it would likely exist simply to illustrate that I am perhaps the most fortunate fool in the known universe.
I am not certain as to how we managed the feat of making it to the town of Pasofino on such meager supplies—I suppose the villagers of the Hollow Shades are the ones I owe most for that—but within the span of another forty-eight hours, we managed to arrive at the entrance, weary both in mind and body. By the time the arch marking the town met our eyes, the comfort of a nice hostel bedroom was all too alluring.
The following morning, we decided to take just a small moment to rest on our laurels and dial back, having finally accomplished one of our original goals. We enjoyed a plethora of breakfast pastries, from succulent scones to creamy crepes and strudels, and even sweet, sweet muffins and cinnamon rolls. All of this was scarfed down to the tune of some hot, rich dark coffee and the din of some early morning table conversation.
“So Archnid, is there anything we need to know about your husband before we go and reunite you two?” Spike asked, his seat directly to my left.
“I don’t think you’ll need to expect much more beyond him having a wealth of questions for dear little Lance,” Archnid said, tittering. “A countenance like his is all too familiar to him.”
I chuckled, crossing my arms. “Then he should expect disappointment, because I have just as many questions to ask of him.”
“At the very least, it should be fun to watch you two badger one another for information.” Roughshod cackled.
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” Napalm asked. “Let’s blow this place and get ready to watch some fireworks go off!”
I smiled, stretching outward before I got out of my chair, somewhat roused by Napalm’s enthusiasm. After a great deal of digression, I felt a renewed ardor to get something productive done for a change. But, even with this fresh font of hype, I was in too good a mood to let food go to waste. So, I promptly sat back down and enjoyed the rest of breakfast while we all enjoyed our little reprieve.
Of course, having the time to stop and take in the sights was always nice, too. Pasofino was a particularly bustling, industrious town, at first glance. While they were only just setting up as we were eating, this was definitely a place where things were done, and they were done with gusto. It seemed particularly productive in trade goods, as many of the stalls were stations where hoof-made works were on display.
In other words, this was a place for ponies with a desire to occupy their idle hooves to be able to something productive for the community. A bit like Ponyville, if perhaps a bit better in social engineering.
The air of productivity proved to be infectious, luring our merry band into the streets so that we could properly marvel at the hustle and bustle about the town. While the town itself had a modern aesthetic throughout, individual buildings hinted at much more humble beginnings with a distinct variety of antiquated architecture. Then again, given the nature of Equestrian real estate on the whole, you come to expect mismatched and anachronistic designs outside the major cities.
The house which Archnid directed us to had a strong influence of tudor design. It was a two-story affair with a jettied upper half. It was painted off-white, with its half-timbers giving it a cosy look that a cream-tinted brick chimney helped to complete. All in all, it was fancifully built, but humbly designed. Not entirely what I or the rest of us had expected, but commanding of respect nonetheless.
“Awfully modest house for a king, don’t you think?” Napalm quipped.
“Well, you know the old saying,” Kenta ruffed. “A man’s home is his castle.”
The lot of us shared a collective chuckle and meeting of our appendages to our foreheads before I proceeded to to the door. I collected myself and took a few breaths before righting my posture and rapping against the door with the back of my hand.
After a few seconds, the door creaked open to reveal a figure tall, dark, and riddled with more holes than I thought possible for a living creature. At first blush, he looked like what Archnid might look like if she assumed a guise like my own. Though he lacked the distinguishing marks of my kin, I could still recognize his changeling heritage, along with that vague hint of my own.
There was no denying it. This had to be Recluse, in his natural state.
Of course, I was not the focus of his attention. As his flight lenses flipped up and he caught glance of Archnid, the look upon his face was the kind I’d find on a young colt that had just found his long-lost dog. It was a grin so wide, I was afraid that his face might rip clean open. However, as made his way past the doorframe, his arms widening, he embraced his wife, wordless save only a delighted chuckle.
“Oh, what a sight for my wizened eyes,” rumbled he as he looked upon his wife, possibly welling up some well-warranted masculine tears. “To see my dearest safe and among the company of such diverse fellows brings me great happiness.”
I placed a head behind my head, my cheeks puffing a little as I let out a chuckle myself.
“It was nothing, sir,” I said, trying to be humble. “If anything, we’d only found her by chance.”
Recluse chuckled as he turned to me.
“Chance might not be the right word, coming from the likes of you,” he chided in jest. “Given the folk who delivered her, I might be tempted to call it destined.”
As he cradled Archnid in his arms in a ballroom-worthy embrace, the two shared a brief, deep nuzzling before Recluse regarded me again.
“But where are my manners?” he apologised. “I shouldn’t yet be celebrating such a momentous occasion without first learning the names of the fine fillies and gentlecolts who granted me this blessing.”
I smiled, adjusting my tunic and trousers as I gave my fellowship room to get into order.
“I’d be happy to oblige you, Your Majesty,” I replied, remembering my courtesies. “But may we enter your home first and settle in? Perhaps over tea?”
Recluse gave a bawdy laugh and placed a taloned hand upon my shoulder.
“Of course!” he roared, stepping aside to beckon us inside. “It’s terribly rude to have such company out here. Come inside, and we’ll share stories by the hearth!”
And so, with that invitation, did our fellowship enter the house, happy to have finally brought a forlorn couple back together again.
***
While the exterior of Recluse’s home had impressed me greatly, the interior was especially interesting. Through a number of marvelous feats in design, the cozy-looking looking house looked significantly more open from within than it seemed. As Archnid looked about, I heard her sigh, presumably relieved to finally be in familiar territory.
“How I did miss this place, my darling Recluse,” she cooed, brushing her head against her spouse’s chest. “How it makes my heart go aflutter once more.”
“The feeling is mutual, my dear.” Recluse replied as he turned to Alric and Cedric. “The two of you should be commended for accompanying her, along with this group. At ease, gentlemen; I expect your families will be quite glad for your return.”
The two drones returned the lord’s gesture with a salute before leaving for the door.
The lot of us gathered in a dining hall as the reunited couple prepared a kettle of tea.
“So what do they call you, boy?” Recluse queried, sitting down in the chair nearest to the range, one leg crossed against the other as he folded his arms. “I’m surprised someone with a visage that stands out like yours hasn’t been mobbed with questions.”
“You would be surprised,” I chuckled, offering my hand. “I am Lance, of the House Celestial. I am Celestia’s in love.”
Recluse’s lips curved into a coy smile. “So you’re a royal bastard, then.”
Ouch. Another notch against my pride.
I held my arm and broke eye contact for a moment.
“I was taken in by High Royal Highness Celestia when I was but a babe,” I replied. “I am still currently searching for the ones who birthed me.”
Recluse’s smile improved as he offered a more sympathetic look.
“So you’re a legitimized bastard, then,” he inferred. “Wonderful to know. What of your companions?”
I perked up slightly as my group gathered together.
“Shall I introduce them?” I asked. “Or would you rather they introduce themselves?”
Recluse shrugged. “It matters not; so long as I am made savvy to their identities.”
Spike pounded his chest, positively brimming with bravado.
“My name’s Spike!” He proudly declared. “Seneschal and number-one assistant to Princess Twilight Sparkle herself!”
Napalm tittered, playing with a spark she held in her hooves.
“You can call me Napalm,” she snickered. “Former farmhand and up-and coming pyromancer.”
Roughshod cleared his throat, letting out a brief cough.
“I am Father Roughshod,” he grumbled. “Roving reverend who speaks the word of our most glorious royal family.”
Nia stretched out, getting into a position that seemed to imply she was preparing to find her center again.
“You may call me Nia,” she told the reagent. “I am a mystic hailing from the land of the Zebra.”
Kenta appeared to be absentmindedly cataloging the scents around the room before he realized it was his turn to speak. When the thought finally reached him, he turned to face the changeling king, his tail wagging behind him.
“And I am Kenta!” he barked, his more canid instincts seeming to override his courtesy. “Smith extraordinaire and professional monster hunter!”
Recluse looked around the table, a fist now on the table as he assessed the lot of us. He had a look of amusement that only grew as he processed all of what he saw.
“Well, aren’t you lot an eccentric bunch?” he commented, holding back a strong laughing fit. “I suppose those possessed of wild talents find a way of coming together.”
I shared Recluse’s sentiment, drumming my fingers on the table.
“Your wife spoke about you at great length a few days ago,” I mentioned, clasping my hands as I leaned forward. “Given we are of, shall we say, similar backgrounds, I believe we are in a unique position to discuss our kin.”
“Of course,” Recluse replied as he worked to pouring tea. “Did you have any particular questions in mind?”
“Just one,” I said, holding up an index finger. “Do you know the name of our kin?”
Recluse bit his lip. He brought his hand to his temple, as if wracking his brain to find a proper explanation. I could hear him ‘um’ and ‘ah’ to himself as he dug deep to find even a tiny nugget of an answer for me. However, he slumped over, placing his opposing hand in union with the original as he buried his face between them, rubbing his forehead.
“How I wish I could give you the answer to such a question,” he groaned. “But, it would appear my memory is failing me.”
I rose an eyebrow, leaning further inward. “You don’t remember what you are?”
“It doesn’t matter, to be frank.” he responded, correcting his posture. “I am a Changeling, if one of differing stature to my subjects. To spend time trying to remember my old self would be wasteful by now.”
I felt a pang of disappointment as I received a glass of tea. A chance to finally get some answers, and the first possible source comes up empty.
“What brought up the question, if you don’t mind me asking?” Recluse quipped.
After taking a short, mouth-burning gulp of tea, I set my cup upon the saucer and stretched out.
“My reason is quite simple, Your Highness,” I said bluntly. “I have grown up without a single inkling as to my origins. The closest thing that I could see as related to me is you and a potential goddess in the form of a knight most eldritch. The one thing I am searching for is a name for the kinship to which I originated.”
“A noble desire, to be certain,” Recluse chidley chuckled back. “But, unfortunately, I cannot give you a name. What I can give you, however, is something of potentially greater value.”
“And what, pray tell, is worth more than the name of my native kin?” I pondered aloud.
“A name is cheap.” Recluse remarked. “A culture, on the other hoof, now that is worth knowing. And I have word from a good friend of mine of what I’m to believe is a relic of an old culture.”
Suddenly, everyone at the table was intrigued. Perhaps they were catching the itch of adventure. I can’t say I blame them; I was growing interested in seeing more of the world myself. It was, to some extent, my assigned task. I supposed that one more diversion wouldn’t hurt me.
“He didn’t tell me much,” the king explained. “But it is apparently a temple that may hold some lost technologies. He’s had a vested interest in exploring it, but his current living situation makes such an expedition beyond his capacity.”
I then decided to ask where this friend of his lived.
“Not far from here,” he answered. “He’s a local tinker; one of the Royal Engineers, possessed of an engineering skill unmatched by many unicorns in this town.”
It was then he took a calm, deep swallow of tea and smiled.
“If you’d like, I can point you in his direction.”
I rose a hand in dismissal. “It can wait until the tea is finished.”
Though punctuality was to be expected with the work of a courtier or knight-errant, time was something I felt I had in abundance, so what more harm could a single more diversion do? Perhaps I might find something to aid me in my journey, I thought.
Little did I know at then that accepting such a chance to explore my potential ancestors would prove to be one of the most significant undertakings I’d chosen since I initially left quaint little Ponyville a short while ago…
***
The storefront that Recluse kindly lead us to was an attractively-painted, large, and homey affair. It had a look of tender crafting and a friendly appearance. It was the kind of store you’d pass by, then double back and step inside due to how inviting it was.
As we entered, the shelves were lined with a wide assortment of contraptions, curiosities, and recreational creations crafted from clockwork. Wind-up soldiers marched back and forth across the shelves, clocks of all frames ticked in asynchronous rhythm, and ornithopters hovered about like lazy little hummingbirds around us. Were I a tad younger when I came upon this place, I might have called it heaven. But, even as I was coming of age, I found a strange sense of wonder in window-shopping. Of course, if I had more spare coin on me, I might have been inclined to treat myself. But, that was not my intention for today.
No, the attention of my company was on a yellow unicorn who seemed to be knee-deep in the rear of the store. Though I could only view it from the back, he bore hair of the color you might see on a traffic pylon, frazzled from what looked like countless nights poring over the schemata that surrounded us. Upon his flank was an egg with a gear having hatched from it, presumably to represent him hatching his interest in engineering. He was particularly engrossed in his business, but as our footfalls near the vendor’s counter, he snapped up to attention and regarded us swiftly.
“Oh, how wonderful!” he cried, adjusting his cyan goggles to get a closer look at his patrons. “You lot look in need of some fine gadgetry, judging by how well-traveled you seem! What can this Royal Engineer do for you today?”
“I was actually looking for some information I heard from Lord Recluse, sir,” I replied. “He told me you knew something about a derelict temple?”
“Oh, that old thing?” he asked coyly. “It was something I found while field-testing my surveillance drones. The whole thing looks to be at least a thousand years old, and it doesn’t look entirely pony-made.”
“What gives you that impression?” asked Roughshod.
“Well, I haven’t had a good enough look of the interior,” the engineer stated. “However, judging from some of the indentations at the top of the structure—as well as the height of the entrances and the structure as a whole—it may hold something the size of a large airship.”
“An airship?!” Spike yipped excitedly. “That could get us to the Griffon Kingdoms really quick!”
“Do you even know how to fly an airship?” Napalm remarked.
Spike pressed his fingers against each other. “I’ve flown a hot-air balloon around a lot.”
“To continue,” the engineer interjected. “While my drones haven’t gotten much further in—mainly due to them running dangerously close out of my remote’s range—I have a good feeling that it potentially holds some the oldest technology known to Equestria!”
“And you’re fine with us handling the information?” I asked. “Is there anything you would have us do while we’re there?”
“Nothing you wouldn’t already do,” The engineer assured. “Investigate the temple, take note of any findings, and should you find any juicy technological goodies, report them to me, and I’d be glad to appraise them. Who knows? Maybe I can get some long lost marvels working for this modern age.”
I smiled and nodded along with intrigue. “And how do you suppose we’ll keep in touch?”
“Ah, you see, I thought of that very contingency!” the engineer declared, rummaging through his stores to produce a large box with a long antenna and a small, pocket-sized square gadget with a smaller antenna attached to it. “I made this transceiver many moons ago, and it can transmit signals and messages to me from this workshop. If I can’t hear your voice clearly, just find a nice open space and use the little button right below the large one to get a message out to me in morse code. Once I have your location, I’ll make arrangements to meet you there with my equipment and we’ll see what we can do.”
Spike produced the map, offering it to the engineer.
“Care to mark its location for us, sir?” asked my dragon friend. “We have some pressing business to attend to after this, and we’d like not to get lost.”
The engineer smiled, his bottle-brush moustache curling up in the most joyous of ways as his horn grabbed the map and a quill.
“Certainly, my boy!” he cheered, scribbling with practiced ease. “And I must thank you for taking this undertaking for me; while I may be older than I look, this job of mine doesn’t leave much room for adventuring. So having some go-getters help find the things I’m not able to is always nice.”
I gave a cheerful laugh and placed a hand to my hips. “Anything to help learn the things that have been kept away from the world.”
With a hum of approval, the engineer returned the map to us and gave a big, beaming grin.
“I look forward to seeing what you find, fillies and gentlecolts.”
“As do we,” I replied, a hand in the air to signify my goodbye as I and my company prepared to leave. “Take care, engineer.”
However, before I neared the door frame, the engineer spoke again.
“One last thing before you go, boy,” he interjected. “While I notice most of your companions appear relatively well off, your equipment looks a bit shabby. You wouldn’t happen to be a Royal Guard, would you?”
I cocked my head. “What gave you that impression?”
“You’ve got that tell-tale fighting man’s physique,” The engineer chuckled as he gave my body a once over. “That’s not something you can mistake.”
I took a look at myself, noting my current physique before returning the compliment with a smile and nod.
“It would be a waste to go into such uncertain territory without the proper protection,” he warned. “I have a contact with the Guard. If you’d be kind enough to give me your name, I could hail her and she could requisition some new equipment for you.”
“My name?” parroted I. “It’s Lance. Lance Alexis Petal.”
The engineer let out a healthy smile as he set to preparing a new message.
“You’re free to go now,” he said, waving us off. “I assume you’ll be staying the night at the hostel?”
I nodded, confirming the engineer’s assumptions.
“Wonderful!” he cried. “If I’m quick, you should see a package within twenty-four hours.”
I stretched outward, arching my back and threading my fingers together.
“It was good meeting you, Engineer,” I groaned, shaking out the doldrums as I tapped my toes against the floor. “I look forward to meeting you again in a few days, provided I don’t die from a mummy’s curse or something worse.”
With that, we departed the Royal Engineer’s workshop. As we headed back in the direction of the hostel, a thought struck my dragon friend’s mind.
“Where’d that bit about mummies come from?” he wondered. “Doesn’t that seem a little far-fetched?”
“Spike, you believe in the existence of zombies,” I snapped back. “Given the kinds of thing we see on a daily basis, I’d be surprised if we didn’t see a mummy.”
“Oh, aye,” Roughshod testified, nodding along. “Once we set out for the Griffon Kingdoms, I could tell you at least a dozen stories of the things I’ve seen.”
The idea of hearing harrowing tales of horror had me slightly harried. However, considering my most recent encounter, I thought I could handle a lesser terror. With this in mind, I had plans on how to end my night, preferably by attending to unfinished business.
***
Nighttime in Pasofino was quiet. It was quiet in that secure way, as opposed to that suspicious silence that stalks the uncertain. This sort of peace and tranquility was something I was glad to have after what I had experienced. For once, I felt comfort in stripping away my clothes and prying open the black velvet tome that my aunt had graciously gifted me. Even as my companions—or perhaps more kindly, my friends—slept, I felt like I had a chance for progress.
There was one spell I’d neglected to cast under this first chapter, and unlike the previous two spells, this one had something of a practical application. Not that forming objects and words from shadows or dousing nearby flames without a breath weren’t practical, but having something with a more directly useful application was handy.
The spell in question was known as Shadow Sense, and the incantation told me all I needed to know. With a calm whisper and a quivering hand, I murmured a sleepy incantation.
“Oh shadows of sun, moon, and star, grant me hearing both near and far…”
Crackles, pops, and rings filled my ears like the buzz of feedback from a microphone against a speaker. White noise briefly assaulted my ear canals, subsiding into a more clear droning of nothingness. The flames of candlelight crackled cleanly, the wind whispered ever-so-softly to tinkling chimes, and I could even make out the flapping of distant birds as they filled the night sky.
Though these pleasant sounds had to share aural space with the rumbling of snoring friends, it was more than welcome to share that space. There was plenty to go around.
I always found something slightly hypnotic about white noise. There was a security in hearing the nature’s sonata continue far into the evening that just made me want to lay back and let it lull me to sleep like a siren’s song. Even as the cold aura of shadowy magics softly ebbed from me, where it previously frightened me, there was now a more soothing appeal to it. It was like a fluffy blanket, making me feel comfortable and safe. This comfort eventually brought me to rest, and as the ring of clarity faded, so too did my vision as I drifted off into sleep.
)) O ((
The dull hum of machinery greeted me in my dreams. Again, I was in a familiar room of blue velvet, my eyes staring at the panel of buttons as the changing moon button glowed brightly before me. The gentle rising feeling of the room coming to its topmost floor helped to bring my subconscious senses up to speed. I hung my arms against the handrail, pulling myself up as I examined myself. Immediately, my cheeks went aflame as I covered myself. I realized very quickly that I was bereft of clothing, and as soon as the doors opened, so would anyone else on the other side.
While I did state earlier that I was growing slightly more comfortable sharing my natural state with others, it came with the corollary that they were already familiar enough with me to trust while I was most vulnerable. However, whoever was waiting never saw me in such a way, which led to some reflex in my mind to want to cover up as quickly as possible.
Then it dawned on me, however, that I was actually going to a somewhat familiar location, and that reflex rescinded itself slowly thereafter.
The ding of a bell reminded me of how close that location was, and I quickly assumed a slightly more proper posture. As I awaited the opening of the doors, I clasped my hands over my nethers to keep warm, still flushing red at the oncoming prospect.
As the doors slid apart, Aunt Luna was there to greet me, a pitcher of an indeterminate tea and a pair of cups with complementary saucers spread upon the table, as well as a platter of teacakes. I wasn’t sure if the look on her face was her happy to see me again, or she was holding back a righteous burst of laughter at the sight of her nephew in the nude. Whatever her motive, I shuffled along and sat before her, taking some comfort that the tablecloth was now obscuring me suitably.
“It is good to see you again, Lance,” Luna regally rejoiced. “I trust you are doing well?”
I looked down, trying not to look her in the eye as she poured me a cup of tea and placed a teacake on a folded napkin
“More or less,” I stuttered. “Though I could do much better and much worse.”
“There is no need to be reticent with me,” she assured, tilting her head as her face loosened up “Sister told me everything. I am sorry that one must endure such a hardship.”
“So you know about—”
Luna held up a hoof to stop me. “Yes. I must say, it is quite unfortunate.”
I took a sip of tea and nibbled a corner off the teacake to try and ease the tension, taking a few quiet breaths before composing myself again.
“I think it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do,” I said, my eyes fixed on the table. “Even standing before you, as vulnerable and exposed as can be, doesn’t harrow me nearly as much.”
Luna smiled, placing her hooves together. “So you aren’t afraid of our current situation?”
I could swear for a moment that the whole of my body was flaming red.
“Not really…” I stammered, looking for a window to gaze at. “Just embarrassed.”
Luna kept her smile as she got up, wrapping her forelegs around my shoulders to embrace me in a tender hug.
“Then I must congratulate you.”
I blinked, losing all thought for a moment as I reciprocated the snuggle.
“Congratulate me?” I asked, trying to process the rather sudden comment. “For what?”
Luna’s horn lit up with an azure aura as my book of shadows poofed into existence.
“By acknowledging and coming to terms with your fear, you have come to understand the meaning of the First Word of Shadow: Truth,” she explained, nudging the book open to reveal a set of pages filling up with fresh new content. “To control and combat the power of Shadow, you must cast away fears and doubts, and trust that the shadows that you command will guide you safely and surely. Though the spells the First Word had granted you were very simple, they served to prove this point.”
As she laid the book down, a nebulous black gemstone suddenly materialized atop it.
“With this, you are ready to understand the second word,” she said in a manner most official. “Temperance.”
I picked up the gem, looking closer into it to find nothing but cloudy shade. It lacked much definition, its edges and fringes rough and unpolished, as if it were freshly plucked from a mining vein.
“What you hold in your hands now is a Black Diamond,” Luna said, pointing to it for emphasis. “To we umbramancers, it is symbolic of ourselves as we journey along our moonless path. Our journeys chip away at this gem, refining it and making it more brilliant and beautiful. Even as it cracks, its healing tempers the gem, making it ever stronger.”
I looked into the imperfect diamond, somewhat entranced at the smoky interior. Staring into it was like looking into a snow globe or a lava lamp; simple, yet infinitely enticing.
“So this is like my soul?” I asked, looking up to Luna’s cyan eyes.
“In a way, yes,” she replied, taking it into her telekinetic grip. “Think of it as the center of your current power. If you should ever need it, focus its image in your mind, and it will help with whatever ails you.”
At the mention of my ills, I looked about, noticing that a certain someone was conspicuously absent from our altercation.
“Where is Iando?” I asked.
Luna turned to the window, guiding me to look out with her. The moon was large and beautiful as usual, and the glass fogged with my aunt’s sigh.
“Such maleficent spirits are not welcome in this place, Lance,” she answered, looking down at the fog surrounding the building. “I have taken precautions to make sure such an incident like our previous meeting less likely. Regardless, you must always remember that, for all the good he can do for you, he can do just as much evil. While I cannot completely excise him from your conscience, I can keep him away from this place. So long as you are here, he cannot harm you.”
Reflexively, I covered my nethers again, keeping my eyes on the moon. Luna turned to me, holding a hoof to her muzzle to muffle a chuckle.
“I must say, you are developing quite well, it seems.”
I shrunk away at that comment, crouching down to try and curl into a ball and hide my shame.
“Is there any reason why I’m… like this?” I shuddered.
“Simple,” Luna said with a smirk. “The state in which you depart the waking world is often the state in which you enter the sleeping one. Not that seeing in you in this state is any matter of mine, of course.”
Luna offered a hoof to help me up, draping one of her wings around my body to keep warm. She guided me to the elevator, her feathers tickling my rear as I shuffled along. The feathery embrace of my aunt kept me warm, even more so than the calming smile she wore as she escorted me. As distant as our current relationship was, the fact that these sensations felt as real as they might have felt in the waking world reminded me that I was closer to Aunt Luna than it seemed.
“I am glad we had a chance to speak again, my nephew,” she sighed with a contented grin. “The fact that I am able to keep in touch with you on a personal level such as this gives me—oh, what is the phrase—the warm fuzzy feelings.”
I cuddled against my aunt’s neck, sharing her love as she willed the call button to activate.
“I hope that our next meeting is in more pleasant conditions,” she whispered, returning my hug.
The elevator’s bell chimed, the doors opening with a pleasant sliding noise.
“So do I,” I whispered back.
I backed away into the elevator, never truly taking my eyes off my aunt as she gave me an assuring smile. She waved to me in a last gesture of well-wishing as the doors closed before me. The lights of the control panel came on in a pattern that indicated I was to be going to the ground floor. While I was a bit apprehensive about the idea of seeing just what the outside of the Midnight Lounge, I was equally intrigued at what lay beyond its walls.
For what it was worth, at least this altercation ended better than the last one. I may have been as naked as I was in birth, the room may have been cold, and I may have died a little internally, but knowing I was making progress through it all was a welcomed relief.
I supposed, if I had to take something away from all of this, it’s that friends and progress can be two of the greatest motivators in life.
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5598462 extender pole: reminded me of the power pole from dragon ball (before dbz) that goku uses.
the jade neckless: naruto's neckless he earned from winning a bet with tsunadi. (never stop wearing it until it was destroyed) well... at least that what they remind me of.
5599720
Huh; I admit, I never came to that realization. Still, nice parallels. I commend you for finding them.
Review: Hand in Hoof, AdamThePony, 15/3/2015
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/91460/hand-in-hoof
Apologies for the delayed review; I’ve finally gotten down to it. I would be focusing more on the first few chapters, especially the parts closer to the start of the story, because this is where you stand to gain or lose the most readers. Before that, let’s take a quick look at the synopsis.
The premise is simple and presented rather boldly: a human child ends up in Equestria. I feel that there is some sense of ‘meta’ going on as the synopsis refers to other HiE stories of its kind. It also directly addresses the reader, which reduces immersion, making it feel as if I’m participating in some sort of story-telling session for little children. This is especially so upon the final line of the synopsis.
Going into the text itself, most the things pointed out will tend to be negatives, but this does not necessarily mean that the story is badly written.
Firstly, I find there is a little too much information you are trying to squeeze in the first paragraph. When it comes to this sort of first-person description, I would suggest narrowing it down to a particular object and emotion that you wish to describe, and then elaborate and flesh out just that one or two ideas. Do not have a smattering of ideas. Instead, go for quality over quantity, and aim for a continuous flow from one point to the next.
Also, it is worth noting that there is some clash of emotions going on here: in the sense that one is of comfort (bring wrapped in warmth), and the other is discomfort (tummy rumbling). If you want to do this, I would suggest having some sort of transition from one emotion to the next. For example, he cracks open his eyes, peering around dreamily as warmth cuddles his body, and then he feels his tummy rumble. It’s a subtle difference, but I feel it works better.
Next, although there is some effort to convey the child’s perspective for this scene though the simple choice of words, I find that it doesn’t quite gel. The writing is very choppy, and it give the protagonist a hyperactive sort of feel that is difficult for readers to relate to. Also, a new-born child is much too young to have those thought processes in the first place, so I question the very choice to write in his perspective for this first scene.
She has no choice but to adopt the child. Well, what a hasty conclusion, Celestia! I’d imagine there to be hundreds of ponies out there wanting to leave their foals at your doorstep in hope of a better future.
Personally I would expect Celestia to at least make some sort of effort to find out who have the child there in the first place, either by using her guards or whatever.
There is quite an excessive amount of questioning going on in this chapter. Of course, it looks fine when I lift out an instance like that for discussion, but when they start appearing again and again in the text, it begins to become more obvious.
Celestia’s perspective not very authentic, in that her thoughts are rather naïve and quite unlikely what I would expect from a goddess with more than a thousand years of life experience. Again, it all boils down to word choice. Consider the example below lifted from the text. Notice how the word choice “no way” tends to make her seem less mature?
Of course, this is if you want your Celestia to be taken seriously as a mature character. Many comedy fics happily break this rule. Another interesting thing to note for this story’s Celestia is that while her thoughts are simple, the letter she sends to Cadence has much formality to it (“As much as it pains me to have to interrupt such an occasion as your honeymoon…”) , and this combination gives off an insincere, sarcastic interpretation of Celestia that is quite amusing. I recall reading something similar to this in a past fic I’ve reviewed, but going into that would be digression.
Reads more like a diary entry. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It should be acceptable, but I don’t quite like how it addresses the reader. Especially since it’s not supposed to be a diary entry.
Spring just gave away a valuable piece of jewelry which she received from her mother to Lance at the mere mention of him being left out. I find this logic very questionable.
As chapter two draws to a close, note that there has been not much conflict introduced yet, meaning that’s it’s been a smooth sailing ride from our main protagonist, Lance. There is some build-up going on, with character interaction between Shining and Lance, etc. The writing for this chapter is simple and clean, and I like it.
Definitely recommend changing this to ‘Celestia have mercy’.
The scene with Twilight works as a sort of foreshadowing, and I would expect this to resurface at some later point in the story. If not, then the scene would be redundant in that it does not add weight to the plot, and so it should be removed.
There are many strange and mythical monsters that prowl the forests in the MLP universe, so I wonder why you would choose instead to write about a boring old bear. On the other hand, I like that usage of the excessive fallen twigs and branches as foreshadowing. It works as some build-up before the reveal (of the bear), though I think it can be improved further by adding more signs that a threat in nearby.
And then came the Luna Ex Machina. That moon princess certainly has a lot of free time in her hoofs, and one suspects if she would do the same had it been some other filly or colt. If she would, then she would most certainly be too busy to manage the rest of the kingdom. Or maybe this is the reason, which could work quite well actually:
Now, why would Twilight Sparkle be most likely to know the answer?
I read till the end of chapter four, and I think this is a good spot to round up some things I’ve wanted to say, or maybe the review itself. So far I think the writing style suits the story quite well, being simple and clean.
One thing that concerns me, however, it that there hasn’t been a key conflict established even till this point. I feel as if I’m reading a diary of someone going about his mundane day-to-day activities, and while that isn’t terribly awful per se, it isn’t exactly very interesting, either.
While I know that some conflict will be established in the future, I suspect that it would make the story long-winded and lengthy. It already has 15 chapters at this point, and I bet my pants that it’s still building up, meaning that the conflict shows no sign of being resolved. Many fics written this way have spiralled out of control due to its huge scope and multitude of characters, and resulting in the author abandoning the project altogether.
Ask yourself this question: What is driving the plot at the moment? Is it Shining Armor and his goal to make Lance a great swordman? Is that even his goal, and will it be sufficient to sustain interest? Look at Lance himself. What is his goal? He seems to simply sitting there, waiting for things to happen to him, waiting for people to tell him what to do. In other words, a passive character.
The characters themselves feel superficial and similar to one another. They give similar reactions to the same event, they say similar things, they are basically the same person—which is you, dear author. I feel that you are simply writing your characters reacting as how YOU would react, and then dressing them up in their respective costumes. Put yourself in their shoes instead—they of how THEY would react. Can you think of a scenario or course of action that one character, say, Celestia, would agree to, but another, Shining Armor for example, would most definitely object to? If no, then you need to start thinking about what really makes your characters unique (and it’s not just the way they speak). If yes, then good! You have now have an example of conflict that you can include in your story.
It’s easy for me to babble on and on about what’s good to do and what’s not, but it’s much more difficult to transfer all of it into writing, and ultimately it all comes down to you to see it through and be proud of what you’ve achieved. Do not be disheartened by the lack of comments and likes or whatever. Heck, it’s more than what I’ve gotten for all my stories in total. What matters most is your growth and journey as a writer, so keep that quill moving!
--cheezesauce, WRITE’s perpetual underground lurker.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/349/4/b/reviewer_logo_longver03_01_by_burrakupansa-d5o60h2.png
3957968 For reference.