Chapter 7: July 17/18, Bridle Gossip
Yet Another Human in Equestria Story
By: Bardic Knowledge
Chapter 7: July 17/18, Bridle Gossip
“So, Super Cheesy Noodle Dish again? Or do you feel comfortable cooking some fish?” I asked. Trixie sighed.
“Trixie realizes she promised to be your hands until they were better, but she didn't realize you were a meat-eater.” Still, as she started complaining, she had pulled out all the dishes and ingredients required to start cooking the “cheesy dish.” “Also, she did not expect one such as you to be so boring.”
“Hey, horses, and ponies by extension, are capable of eating meat. Sure, they're not supposed to, but they can. I remember this one book, an old one, called 'Gunsmith's Boy.' It took place during a year-long winter back in Earth's year 1814 and because there were so few crops growing the main characters kept their horse fed with salted pork jerky or something like that.”
Trixie sighed again as she set the pot to boil. “I- Trixie knows, you've told her often enough. All you ever do is talk about things you've read, never things you've done.”
“Well, there was this one time I got sucked into an alternate reality and somepony broke my hands while I was there.” I joked.
Trixie face-hoofed. “I still don't understand how you can be so... flippant about your hands, either.”
I shrugged. “I'm wyrd. Plus, Doctor Day says that today's the day the bandages come off.” I checked the clock over the kitchen door. “Looks like its almost time for my appointment, too.”
“Then why did you have Trixie start cooking lunch?!” she shouted.
“No, no. There's time enough to eat, then we go to the hospital. Calm down, Trix.” I waved my bandaged hands placatingly. My time living with Trixie had been an exercise for my patience. Everything I did annoyed her, and I once quipped that my house was roughly one-third the size of her ego (obviously, I was the only one who thought that was funny).
Celestia hadn't been very enthused about what had happened when I sent along my report, but she agreed that keeping Trixie in Ponyville would probably be for the best.
We quickly ate the Super Cheesy Noodle dish, which was my own “invention” based on the instant Mac & Cheese recipes, but with spaghetti-type noodles or dried ramen instead of macaroni. Technically, it should be called the “Super Dairy Noodle dish, but the cheese is the most important part.
Anywhoozle, after cleaning the dishes, we made our way to the hospital, where Doctor Day proceeded to remove the bandages and proclaim my hands healed, but, for safety purposes, he asked me to come back the next day, as well as if I felt any pain moving my fingers. It was on our way back through Ponyville that we noticed something was off.
“Curious,” Trixie commented. “Where has everypony gone?” A tumbleweed bounced past as we walked, and I raised an eyebrow.
“Psst!” I looked up and saw that we were only a couple yards from Sugarcube Corner. “Joe! Trixie!”
“Pinkie?” I asked. Pinkie was pretty much the only pony other than Snips and Snails who seemed to have any inkling of fondness for Trixie. Mostly because Pinkie seemed to like everypony who wasn't actively mean, and Trixie hadn't done any insult comedy for a while.
“Come here! Hurry!” she hissed. Trixie and I glanced at each other and shrugged before walking up to the door. “Oh!” she gasped quietly. “Twilight! Spike!” And sure enough, Twilight and Spike were standing directly behind us. I jerked my head towards the door and we all walked into the darkened sweets shop.
As we entered the wonderfully dim store, I raised my hand to move my sunglasses up to my forehead, only for them to shimmer in Trixie's magic aura and lift themselves up. I blinked in surprise and looked over to her, to see her wearing her usual bored expression from when she's “acting as my hands.” Apparently after a week of doing things for me that I couldn't, it's almost become reflexive for her. I just wiggled my working fingers back at her, making her blush lightly at her “slip.”
I flinched as Pinkie turned on a flashlight, before she turned it on her own face. After a couple blinks to get the spot out of my eyes, I saw Apple Bloom and the rest of the Mane Six gathered around us.
“Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?” asked Twilight.
“I'm not alone in the dark,” Pinkie countered. Apparently, it took Twilight's eyes a moment to adjust to the dim interior of the store.
“Okay, then... What are you all doing here in the dark?”
“We're hiding from her!” said Applejack, pushing a curtain aside slightly. The light of day made me flinch again, but I hung back in the shadows as the others went to look out the window at Zecora.
I hadn't asked Zecora when she was next going to try coming into town, but I ran through my memory of “Bridle Gossip” as best I could when Pinkie ushered us in. If I remembered right, Apple Bloom goes after Zecora to prove she's “a big pony,” which gets the Mane Six into the Poison Joke.
So that still needed to happen. I didn't need to go with them, but I probably should to keep up appearances. I'd just do my best to steer clear of the Poison Joke. If I hang at the back of the group when they-
“Did ya see her, Twilight?” half-shouted Apple Bloom, startling me from my thoughts. “Did ya see... Zecora?”
“Apple Bloom! Ah told ya never ta say that name!” Applejack gasped.
“Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself,” I countered.
Twilight looked at me curiously before answering Apple Bloom. “Well, I saw her glance this way...”
“Glance eeeeevilly this way,” Pinkie “corrected.”
“And then most of you flipped out for no good reason,” Twilight finished with a half-lidded look at Pinkie. Trixie merely nodded in agreement.
“No good reason?” Applejack said. “You call protectin' yer kin no good reason?! Why as soon as mah sister saw Zecora comin' inta town, she started shakin' in her little horseshoes!” To emphasize her statement, she began shaking Apple Bloom herself.
“Di-i-i-i-id no-o-o-o-ot!” Apple Bloom stuttered.
“You guys actually wear horseshoes?” I said, blinking. “How can I not see them?” Everyone looked at me confusedly at my apparent non-sequitur. I held up my hands. “Okay, bad timing. I'll ask again later.”
Shaking off her confusion, Applejack picked up where she left off, popping Apple Bloom onto her back. “She was so scared, Ah swept her up and brought her here!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “I walked here myself!”
“For safe keepin',” Applejack affirmed.
“Applejack! I'm not a baby! I can take care of myself!”
“Not from that creepy Zecora!”
“So, what happened to not saying her name?” I needled. This time just Applejack alone turned to glare at me.
“She's mysterious,” Fluttershy continued.
“Sinister,” agreed Dash.
“And spoooooooooky!” Pinkie added.
Twilight groaned as she glanced out the window again, Trixie patting her on the back in sympathy. Everypony gasped a moment later, eliciting another groan from Twilight.
“Will you cut that out?!” she asked.
“Just look at those stripes!” Rarity said, flinching back slightly. “So garish.”
“She's a zebra.” This matter-of-fact statement was met with a nice big “a what?” from almost everypony other than Twilight.
“A zebra,” Trixie confirmed. “Trixie has met a few zebras in her travels. They hail from the extra-Equestrian country Zebafrica and the stripes are their natural colouration.”
At this news, Rarity apparently found reason to faint.
Twilight nodded in confirmation of Trixie's explanation. “But I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?”
“That's just it,” Applejack said, “she lives in... the Everfree Forest!” As if he heard her, Spike knocked over a stack of pans in the kitchen. It almost sounded like thunder, if thunder clanked.
“Spike!”
“Uh, sorry,” Spike apologized, tiptoeing out of the kitchen with a pot on his head and a pan in one claw.
“The Everfree Forest just ain't natural,” Applejack said in an almost-horrified whisper. “The plants grow-”
“-the animals care for themselves-” Fluttershy continued.
“-and the clouds move-” Rainbow Dash added.
“-all on their own!” they finished together.
“Sounds just like home,” I remarked. Rarity fainted again. I hadn't even noticed her get up to do so in the first place. At the horrified stare of almost everyone else, I rolled my eyes. “Humans have no magic, remember? Earth's ecosystem works on its own, though there have been a few experiments in the field of weather control.”
Twilight nodded in agreement, “Though there are farms and such that raise and breed both plants and animals.” It was still a little odd to hear Twilight talk about home as if she had lived there her whole life, when she had actually lived there for all of my life thus far (discounting the almost-month in Equestria).
Pinkie hopped into the middle of the group, hoof raised, “And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil...stuff! She's so evil I even wrote a song about her!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Here we go.”
Pinkie's “Evil Enchantress” song was a little fast-paced and tuneless at this point. I definitely preferred the version sung by Flutterguy. I wondered if Blu Mankuma would ever return to the show for season four, then sighed when I wondered if I would even see season four when it happened.
“Wow,” Twilight said, blinking bemusedly. “Catchy.”
“It's a work in progress,” Pinkie agreed, stepping off the table she ended her song on.
“But this is all gossip and rumours. Tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?”
“Well,” Dash started, “once a month she comes into Ponyville.”
“Oh?” remarked Trixie with a raised eyebrow, interrupting Twilight's own attempt at dramatic snark.
Rarity nodded, “Then, she lurks by the stores.”
“Oh, my,” I added, using my best George Takei impression. Twilight almost laughed, but kept her cool. Even if she was exhibiting classic Liarjack scrunchyface.
“And then, she digs at the ground,” Fluttershy concluded.
“Good gracious,” Twilight finished, hoof held over her forehead. Then the three of us looked at each other and broke down laughing. After a moment of being glared at, we recovered, though I had to hold my hand over my mouth to stifle any more giggles.
“Okay, but seriously,” Twilight said, “how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit?”
Apple Bloom nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! Maybe she's tryin' ta be neighborly!”
“And perhaps,” Trixie continued, “she's just trying to go shopping? If Trixie had shown up in a full-body cloak like that and tried to visit a store, she'd almost expect to be turned away from any reputable establishment.” Guess that means Uncle Curio's shop isn't “reputable.”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom agreed easily. “Everypony likes ta shop! Know what I think?”
“Apple Bloom!” Applejack interrupted. “Hush, and let the big ponies talk.” My hand slid from my mouth to my eyes in a short face-palm. I tuned out the conversation as I watched Apple Bloom mutter to herself and start tiptoe... Tip-hoof? Except hooves are just one big toe... I remember that from science class, dealing with the evolution of horses. I nodded resolutely. Tiptoe it was. By the time I had decided that, however, she was already out the door.
I cleared my throat as Twilight was almost angrily informing Pinkie of the shared dietary concerns of Zecora, Pinkie, and herself. Everypony looked over to me.
“When attempting to protect someone, its usually best to not tell them that they can't handle something,” I said, finger raised. “That almost guarantees that the subject in question will attempt to prove you wrong.” Everyone looked confused at my point, until I pointed at the space Apple Bloom had been standing.
“Where's Apple Bloom?!” cried Applejack.
“The door's open!” “She went outside!” “And Zecora's still out there!” cried Fluttershy, Rarity and Dash.
“That silly lil' filly! I told her to stay put!”
As everyone, myself included, prepared to head after her, Twilight told Spike to stay behind, in case she came back before us. Everyone took off at a gallop. Except me. Because I can't. I ran as fast as I could, but they out-paced me, and it wasn't long before I was panting with my hands on my knees.
“I'm... a geek!” I panted. “I'm not... built...! for... physical... activities!” I was then rescued as Applejack ran back and flipped me onto her back. I scrabbled for a moment to find a grip that wouldn't seem awkward, and wouldn't let me slip off, and we quickly caught up with the others. “Thanks, AJ.”
“Not a problem, partner,” she said, looking at me over her shoulder with one eye. We quickly caught up with the others. I had never truly ridden horseback before, and bareback was a little... rough. Between my winces with every hoof-fall, I saw we were rapidly approaching the entrance to Everfree. And before I could ask to get off, we were in the middle of a massive patch of Poison Joke. I could see the path Zecora and Apple Bloom had taken just a few feet to Fluttershy's left.
Quoth the Hero of Oakvale: “Shit.” (I didn't actually say that, but it definitely crossed my mind.)
“Apple Bloom!” Applejack shouted. “You get back here right now!” Apple Bloom and Zecora spun around to look at us. I felt Applejack's shoulder roll beside my knee, urging me to get off her. I inhaled and tried to push myself clear of the light blue leaves surrounding us.
I failed. Of course. To add injury to insult, I also landed face-first in the accursed plants. I fervently hoped that it wasn't going to affect my voice. I like my voice.
“Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!” Zecora cried.
“Too late,” I mumbled.
While I grumbled to myself, the others collected Apple Bloom and everyone, even Trixie, waded through the Poison Joke while scolding Apple Bloom for running off on her own. However, the conversation quickly turned to Zecora cursing everypony.
“You guys, there's no such thing as curses!” Twilight shouted over Pinkie's song.
“Well, that's interesting to hear coming from Miss Magic Pants herself,” Dash said.
“What would a pegasus know of magic?” retorted Trixie. “I have travelled far and wide and have yet to see anything resembling curses! The humiliations I inflict are temporary and illusory.”
Twilight nodded. “Unicorn magic comes from within. It's a skill we're born with. Curses are artificial, fake magic. It's conjured with potions and incantations; all smoke and mirrors meant to scare. But curses have no real power, they're just an old pony tale.”
“Just you wait, Twilight,” Applejack said in an ominous voice. “You're gonna learn that some pony tales really are true.”
“Like Nightmare Moon,” I said, seemingly agreeing with Applejack. “Everyone thought that was just an old pony tale.” Twilight looked sheepish. That was one of those things that bugged me about her claiming curses were “an old pony tale.”
We returned to Ponyville, splitting up along the way. First, Fluttershy to her cabin, then Rainbow Dash to her cloud-house, then Applejack ran off with Apple Bloom back to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity bid us a good night as we passed the Boutique, then Twilight went with Pinkie to pick up Spike from Sugar Cube Corner, leaving Trixie and I to head back to my house.
As we approached the kitchen door, Trixie reflexively opened them, and we passed through.
“Are you staying up to read again?” she asked, as we crossed into the dining room.
“Yeah, I've got that book on pegasus anatomy to finish up. But, hey, I've got my hands back, now. You can go to bed now if you want.”
With a yawn, Trixie nodded and headed off to the master bedroom, which she had claimed as her own. Despite staying up with me to help me read while my hands were broken, she always found it difficult to stay awake the whole night with me. It probably didn't help that I would often read out loud to her as well.
I was halfway into the chapter about a pegasus' natural magic, the part that allows them to manipulate the atmosphere, when it happened: the words started crawling across the page. I mean that literally. The words grew little legs and they just started crawling all over the book. Freakiest thing I'd ever seen. And then I moved my hand to feel the page and everything was just... whoa.
I have no idea how long I spent fascinated by my room and the movement of... things. The next thing I recall, Trixie was shaking me awake with her magic. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it from the bizarre memory of the night before and noticed that I was lying on the floor.
“Joe?” she asked.
“That was trippy,” I commented. “I wonder if that's what LSD or acid is supposed to be like.”
“What?”
“Never mind.” I moved to sit up, and wound up doing crunches instead. “Um.” I tried again to put weight on my elbows and leverage myself up. “I...” I rolled onto my stomach and attempted to pick myself up that way. My arms flopped uselessly at sides. “I can't move my arms.”
“You should see them.” Taking her advice, I glanced down at my arms. They were covered in blue spots.
I took a deep breath. “I'm very tempted right now to say the seventh 'f' word of my life.”
“What do you mean?”
“There's a strong curse word back on Earth that's a synonym for intercourse and it starts with the letter 'f.' I've done my best to use the word as little as possible.”
“Ah.” I inch-wormed my way across the floor to a wall and did my best to climb up the wall to a sitting position, then looked curiously at Trixie.
“You seem awfully quiet. What happened to you?”
She instantly looked defensive. “What makes you think anything has happened to T- to me?” That instantly got my attention. She's occasionally used pronouns before switching back to her name, but she has never done the opposite.
“Trixie... What happened... to you...” I leaned forward, tucking my feet under me to sit in the traditional Japanese seiza position, before levering myself onto my feet and standing again.
“Nothing is wong with Twixie!” she shouted. Then quickly put her hoof over her mouth. I bit my lips in an attempt to keep from laughing.
“Elmer Fudd Syndrome!” I choked out. I then breathed deeply a few times to get myself under control. “Okay, okay. Okay. We need to go to the library.”
“Why?” asked Trixie.
“Because that's where everypony else is going to be, and we'll need to meet up with them before we can get this fixed.”
“How do you-”
“Future knowledge!” I shouted. “Let's go!” I marched towards the door. Trixie danced in place for a moment before following me, opening the door before me.
It was awkward, running with floppy arms. I felt like Harry Potter after Lockheart tried to heal his broken arm, times two. Namely, it felt like I had a pair of rubber hoses attached to my shoulders instead of arms.
The “Gweat and Powahfuw Twixie” was doing her best to keep from talking, or at least using words with “l”s and “r”s in them. Considering the frequency of those letters, her sentences tended to be very short.
We got to the library just as Dash smashed in the door, negating any need to open it for us or Rarity, who had arrived at the same time.
“-Curse!” finished Dash, tangled in a ladder.
“I'm afraid I must agree,” Rarity said, blowing the hair out of her face, shocking Twilight and Spike.
Apple Bloom and Applejack came in behind us. “Ah hate ta tell ya Ah told ya so, Twilight, but Ah told ya so!”
“If people hate to say it, why do they say it anyways?” I mused aloud. I wasn't surprised to be ignored.
“It's a curse, Ah tells ya!”
“But, Fluttershy seems just fine!” Twilight countered. “So does Trixie, for that matter!”
“I suppose the spots give away the status of my arms,” I said, swaying from side-to-side to let them flop around. “But as for Trixie-”
“Don't!” she shouted. I just rolled my eyes and looked at her. She gave a long-suffering sigh “Fine. I have what Joe wefews to as 'Ewmah Fudd Syndwome.'”
With that confirmed, they turned to Fluttershy. Twilight began the barrage of questions. “Fluttershy? Are you okay?” Fluttershy looked away. “Is there something wrong with you?” Fluttershy nodded. “Would you care to tell us?” She flinched. “So... you're not going to tell us?” Fluttershy nodded. “Yes you're not, or yes you will?” She shook her head.
“No meaning yes?” I tossed in.
“Good gravy girl!” shouted Applejack from the table. “What's wrong with you?!”
“I don't wanna talk about it,” rumbled the deep voice of Blu Mankuma. I like that voice.
Spike just broke down laughing. “This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Twixie, Flutterguy, and... uh... I got nothin'... Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can't even work with that.” He looked at me. “Okay, I can't get anything out of your name either.”
I shrugged, arms flopping at my sides as Twilight laughed sarcastically. “This is no joke, Spike! Now start looking for more books so I can find a cure!”
Spike groaned.
As everypony started shouting about getting Zecora to remove the not-a-curse, I sidled over to the door, and snuck out just before Apple Bloom. When she came out, she stopped short on seeing me, but when I jerked my head in the direction of the forest, she smiled and we headed off at a decent pace, my much longer legs letting me keep up with her light gallop far easier than a more grown-up pony.
As we entered the forest, Applejack's voice rang out. “Stop right there!” Apple Bloom screeched to a halt, Applejack popping out of her hair right after. “Turn around right now, you two!”
Apple Bloom and I looked at each other. “No,” she answered.
“NO?!” shouted Applejack. “You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister!” With a toss of her head, Applejack popped into the air, before being caught by Apple Bloom in her mouth like a kitten. She quickly set AJ on a nearby branch.
Apple Bloom chuckled, “Sorry Applejack, but I'm the big sister now.” She started trotting away.
“Don't worry, AJ. RD and the others should be along soon. See you at Zecora's!” I waved as I left, AJ's tinny voice barely audible at that distance. At the rate we were travelling, it wasn't long before we actually reached Zecora's hut. Along the way, I told Apple Bloom what Poison Joke was all about.
“Ah, Joe, it is good to see you,” Zecora said smiling. “It seems your prophecy has rung true.”
“You two know each other?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Not sure if AJ mentioned the night I disappeared, but I wound up in the Everfree Forest. Zecora encountered me and helped me through a tough time.”
“Judging from the spots on your arm, it seems you have come to some harm.”
“Yeah, Poison Joke seems to have disabled my arms, just after my hands finally finished healing.” At her inquisitive look, I twitched my shoulder in an attempt to raise my arm. “Long story.”
“I have a recipe to cure your friends and you, but I am at a critical point in the cooking of my brew.”
“I can help!” Apple Bloom said. I nodded.
“Give us a list with descriptions and the two of us should be able to gather them for you. Just... Be careful. It's about to get messy when the others show up.” After a couple moments, Zecora had a list copied out of her Super Naturals book and gave it to us. Well, she gave it to Apple Bloom along with a set of saddlebags that she adjusted for the filly's back.
And so, we set out to gather some herbs. It was rather tedious, especially since I was pretty well useless without my arms and hands. The most I could do was keep watch for dangerous animals. It was surprising, actually, how quickly we were able to gather the plants. They all seemed to grow in the same general area. Might be more Everfree magic.
Though it didn't seem long to us, by the time we had returned to Zecora's hut, the Mane Six (plus Trixie) were already present.
“Where. Are. Apple Bloom. And. Joe.” Twilight practically snarled.
“Hey, Zecora, I think we found everything for ya,” I said, nudging the door completely open with my foot, Apple Bloom following me in.
Apple Bloom stopped short as she saw the mess in the hut, “What in Ponyville is goin' on here?”
“Guys! You're okay!” cheered Applejack.
“Well, yeah. I told you we'd meet you here,” I said.
“Why wouldn't we be okay?” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Because Zecowa's an eviw enchantwess who's cuwsed us and was gonna cook you into soup!” Trixie said.
Zecora and Apple Bloom laughed.
“Trixie. You of all ponies should know better,” I said, struggling to not crack up myself. “Say it with me: 'there's no such thing as a curse.'”
“You can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse,” Twilight said, shaking her head just right to make her horn flop around.
“This isn't a curse,” said Apple Bloom. To be fair, though, she wasn't just standing there, she was walking past Twilight.
“If you remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact,” Zecora said.
I cleared my throat, “Beware. Beware you pony folk. Those leaves of blue are not a joke.”
“It was a warning,” Apple Bloom explained. “About that blue plant. It's called Poison Joke.”
“It's a bit like poison ivy,” I said, before Zecora could say anything. Poison oak is a tree, whereas Poison Joke is a leafy under-growth plant like poison ivy. “But instead of itchy rashes, it plays practical jokes.”
The rest of the scene played out as normal, though there were a few lines traded around, and we went into town to buy the final ingredients.
There was a moment of awkwardness when it was time to bathe the poison joke out of our systems, since I was the only male in the group, even if I was a different species and my companions were normally going around without clothes...
Stopping that train of thought right there.
So, I wound up having a bath in a separate section of the Aloe and Lotus Spa on my own, though I could hear Trixie enthusiastically rolling her “r”s while Pinkie talked her head off.
All in all, a good end.
But who knows what's next, the way things have been going?
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I. Love. This. STORY!
love it but would love an update more often
Updateeeeeeeeeeeeee
Trixie sounding like Fudd made me laugh so hard. You know how to play comedy right, good sir!
2747644This.
Faster updates please?
2747644 2749336 2747990
I really wish I could. I like the way this story has been developing, and I love seeing how many people enjoy it, but some things just take time. I was actually stuck for a moment in this chapter before I realized I had hit on a canon conversation and could just put that in as best I could.
I also realize that the "faster update" comment/review is common to pretty much every fanfic out there. I'm surprised people haven't complained about the total lack of updates on Digital Mass Effect over on fanfiction.net.
2748597
All I can do is my best, and it looks like my best is pretty good. But, yeah, I had the idea for "Twixie" as soon as I started planning out the chapter. My initial thought was that I was going to mention the fact that it's a Portmanteau Couple Name for Twilight/Trixie, but it didn't make it in.
2749490No idea what that is mate.
2749490...I meant it as: YAY an update. Good things take time ya know.
2749519
I presume you're talking about "Digital Mass Effect." It's a crossover/fusion idea I had for Digimon Adventure 02 and Mass Effect, and the only thing I posted on it is the fact that I've had the idea. It still has 11 reviews and near as many favourites and alerts.
2749490
Yeah, I knew the Twixie portmanteau for the shipping. I hear many shipping phrases on the internet as I jump from page to page(and fic to fic).
How I imagen he feels like:
“Don't worry, AJ. RD and the others should be along soon. See you at Zecora's!” I waved as I left, AJ's tinny voice barely audible at that distance.
OBJECTION!!
... Actually, more like an edit...
He had no motor of his arms, so he couldn't have waved at her. Unless he where just flailing his torso around like a madman, which is actually quite comical to think about how that I picture it.
They are the same thing.
I've been loving the story so far. Great fun!
One thing: in the end of this chapter, there's talk about our main character (you?) worrying about being the only male in the bathroom. I'm wondering... The Great and Powerful Home Care Pony must've seen the poor bloke naked a few times... I mean, how else would one get to the toilet, take a bath etc. without the use of his hands? I had expected (but it's fine if you prefer to leave it out) some awkwardness there, and two very red-faced roomies in the bathroom ...
OH! I got a name for poison joke'd Joe! Floppy Joe! Eehhh? EEEEHH? come on that was decent! hmm, would ponies have sloppy joes? or some kind of veegee table equivalent? And if they did would they call it sloppy joes..... Okay this joke only really works for humans. *sigh*
6109668 Sloppy Joe.
I'm going to assume that was with his feet.
And I've always thought "Twilight Wobble".