Chapter 12: August 15, Feeling Pinkie Keen
Yet Another Human in Equestria Story
By: Bardic Knowledge
Chapter 12: August 15, Feeling Pinkie Keen
I slumped against the cart full of baskets full of apples.
“Pah... Had I known... How hard... This was... I wouldn't... Have volunteered... In the first... Place...” I panted. “My arms... Feel like... Rubber!”
Three days. A full three days of working at Sweet Apple Acres, mostly lifting baskets of apples into carts for Applejack or Pinkie to haul away. Though, in the past day, Big Mac had apparently, finally, made a full recovery, and had just started helping out.
Celestia's Beard, he doesn't buck the tree and make apples fall out, he stomps on the ground and makes several trees drop apples. No wonder he's such a vital part of Applebuck Season.
I will admit, however, that the food was completely worth it, even if I'm never going to do this again.
Well, I might do it if the Apple Clan really needs my help, but I won't just offer my services.
“Mighty obliged, though,” replied Applejack, who had slept for an entire day after she came to her senses. “If'n ya want, I could give you a lift back to town. I've got to get some apples to market to sell them.”
“Thanks, yeah. I'll take you up on that.” I levered myself to my feet and followed her to a different cart, which had various Apple Clan foods as well as just apples in it. There was barely enough room for me to sit on what was essentially the tailgate of the wagon. As we headed for Ponyville at a leisurely pace, real feeling eventually worked its way into both arms, in the form of pins and needles.
“So why'd you stick around after all the others had left, too?” asked Applejack.
“Seemed to me the right thing to do, was all,” I replied. “Not to mention the food was excellent.”
“Good ta hear. Got any plans for tomorrow?” I rolled my eyes.
“You should know by now that I never plan that far ahead unless absolutely necessary. But I'll probably be recovering from the farm work.”
She laughed about that and we spent the rest of the trip in companionable silence. When we reached our destination, I waved goodbye and headed off for home, when I ran into Pinkie.
Whose tail was twitching. And she's wearing an umbrella hat.
“Got a spare umbrella stashed around Ponyville somewhere?” I asked.
“Yeppers!” she said, and rooted around a nearby flowerbed and came back with an umbrella that I opened and held above my head. I instantly changed my plans and turned to follow her on her path.
“Pinkie Senses acting up today?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Today's the day Twilight evolves into a Rapidash, then.”
“What's a Rapidash?”
“It's a fire horse from another universe, I suppose. Can't just say it's from fiction anymore, considering my situation.”
I glanced around as we chatted about Pokemon, until I spotted Spike wearing a tuxedo shirt and holding a stick that was soon changed into an ornate walking cane. As soon as I spotted him, he spotted me, and I waved to him. His attention was grabbed by Twilight as she lifted a small boulder above his head, before transmuting it into a top hat.
For a moment, anyways.
As his attention strayed back to Pinkie and I, the hat turned back into a rock and dropped right onto his head. I winced, then glanced back over to Pinkie, who was wincing in sympathy as she ducked under a porch and kept an eye on the sky, tail still twitching. I then stepped back towards the house we were beside, making sure I was under the eves.
After a conversation we couldn't hear, Twilight approached us and asked, “What in the wide-wide world of Equestria are you two doing?”
“Pinkie's tail is twitching,” I replied.
“And you know what that means!” Pinkie added.
“Actually, no. I don't.”
“Pinkie Sense,” I replied.
“When my tail's a twitchin' that means stuff's gonna start falling! You should duck for cover.”
“It's not going to rain,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. “There's barely a cloud in the sky- oof!” she was interrupted by a frog to the face.
“She didn't say it was going to rain, she said 'stuff' was going to start falling,” I said. The frog croaked.
“He just said 'nice catch' in frog,” Pinkie said.
“You can speak frog?” I asked her.
“I only understand a few words, can't speak it myself.”
“Oh, I'm so sorry, Twilight,” said Fluttershy from above us. “I just couldn't stand seeing the pond getting so overpopulated, with all the frogs hopping into each other, so I decided to fly as many as I could over to Froggy Bottom Bog.”
“I'm guessing from the name that there's already some frogs there?”
“Oh, yes. And they've already agreed to take these few in. I gotta go, or I'm going to be late. Bye!” With that, Fluttershy flew off again, leaving us with Twilight and Spike.
“You might want to get the frog off your face, there, Twi,” I said. The frog croaked at me and hopped away. “I don't have to understand frog to know that wasn't polite.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “C'mon Spike, let's continue our practice session where there's a little less commotion.”
I smiled as they started off, folding up my umbrella. Since it was a “cane” umbrella, I then leaned on it like one. Pinkie zipped by me, tail twitching again. I smiled and walked off, singing the chorus of “She Moves in Mysterious Ways.”
I continued home. As much as I would like to join in the Pinkie Sense adventure, I knew that if it got to the point where I joined them in Froggy Bottom, I would probably be eaten by the hydra. I can't run as fast as a pony, after all, and I can't count on the random chance of a bog bubble to keep me safe like it would Twilight.
I suppose I could have a bit of fun watching the slapstick comedy of Twilight following Pinkie around, but that would heavily increase the chances of my being chased by a hydra. I continued musing as I heated up some leftover Apple Clan food in the oven.
On the one hand, it was getting incredibly boring around here. Yeah, I had all the books I could want, but I was running out of ones that interested me. There were plenty of board games and the occasional arcade game to play, but even those got repetitive after a while.
On the other hand, hydras are dangerous, and, as noted before, I can't run as fast as a pony. Applejack could carry me like she has been, sure, but... It feels a bit... wrong to keep... using her like that. Twilight's two-person-teleport is still unrefined, and might just pop me out in the mountainside as easily as it could go right.
Then there's the whole non-interference thing.
I frowned as I took the food out of the oven, just in time for Trixie to emerge from the back of the house.
“Is that Granny Smith Pie the Great and Powerful Trixie smells?”
“It is indeed. I figured some food would help me decide on what to do.” I split the leftovers into equal halves and gave one plate to Trixie's telekinesis.
“What to do about what?”
“Another episode has begun, and this one has a few things I'd like to see, but it's incredibly dangerous if I interfere too much in pre-established events like this one. A slight change in timing and Twilight could splash down in the bog instead of bouncing off a convenient bubble.”
“But at the same time, you want something to do besides be bored or work at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“...Yeah.”
“What about books from your world? You could write some more.”
“I could, but if I keep asking Twi to hit me with that memory spell I'll have to start paying for her services.”
“I'm sure she'd be glad to do it for her friend without pay, though.”
“I didn't say she'd ask me to pay her.”
“You're too noble sometimes.”
“Well, I feel like I should set a good example for humanity while I'm its only representative. There's so many things I could have done or be doing that would be... shameful to do.” I sighed, carrying my now empty plate to the sink. “I'm just not sure what to do these days. When an episode comes up, I can accurately predict what would happen if I didn't interfere, which is what I promised to do, but without anything to do...” I shook my head. “I may be lazy, but I'm not so bad as to want nothing to do.”
Trixie sat there in silence as she levitated her plate to the sink as well. “There's no jobs for you to do around town?”
“Anything indoors has a high chance of causing me pain, anything outdoors has a high chance of being physical labour.” I walked back to the living room and flopped onto the long couch, Trixie sitting across from me on the short couch. “It's been a month and a half since I came to Equestria. I don't know what my family is going through with me being missing, my friends, either. Aside from the house itself, my pyjamas, and my class ring, I have nothing from home.” I took off my glasses and put my hand over my face.
“Isn't there anything...?”
“Might as well just leave me alone. I can't think of anything to help right now.”
I heard the soft padding of hooves on carpet as Trixie walked away, followed by the door opening and closing.
I'd be laying on that couch for the rest of the day.
TRIXIE
I left Joe wallowing in misery as he asked. I needed help with this one, which meant finding Ponyville's resident expert in friendship:
Pinkie Pie.
From what Joe's said, Twilight would become an expert of sorts, but as it stands, Pinkie is the one I should be looking for. Now, where could she be?
Deciding to check town square first, I found Applejack with a tub of apples on her back. “Applejack, have you seen Pinkie?”
“Not since I dropped Joe off in town, why do ya ask?” she replied.
“Joe's in a bad way. I want to help him, but I don't know what to do. I'm hoping Pinkie can help.”
“Wouldn't a doctor be a better idea?”
“Not physically in a bad way, but emotionally. He's badly depressed.”
“Well, that's too bad. Maybe we should get 'im back to the farm for a bit?”
I laughed, “You know he doesn't like work like that.” I became serious again. “He's depressed over his situation. Imagine if you were in a different place where you could make a difference, but for one reason or another you couldn't actually do anything.”
“Is that how he feels?”
“Well, he's made that promise not to interfere in Twilight's Friendship lessons, which he says is the only thing 'exciting' around Ponyville.”
“Well, maybe he should get out of Ponyville for a while!” chirped Pinkie, just a few feet off to the side of us. I jumped in surprise. How does she do that?
“Oh, hey Pinkie,” greeted Applejack, calmly. “What'cha doin'?”
“Oh, I'm letting Twilight secretly follow me all day without me knowing.” At that, Twilight Sparkle emerged from the bushes on the other side of the road, covered in bruises and bandages.
“You mean you knew all along?!” she growled. “Why didn't you tell me?”
Pinkie giggled. “Silly, that would've spoiled the secret!”
As Twilight's face made some interesting contortions, Spike popped out from behind her.
“Tail still twitching?” he asked.
“All done,” Pinkie answered.
“What in the world happened to you, Twilight Sparkle?” I asked. “You look like you were run over by a train.”
“Ugh, you would not believe the day I-”
Pinkie suddenly started shaking and shivering.
“Oh, no!” shouted Spike. “What does that one mean?” Ah, yes. Pinkie Sense. I've encountered it a couple times now at Berry's Bar, just before somepony accidentally dropped a glass. After the first time, I managed to catch them before they'd hit the floor.
“I dunno, never got any like it before, but whatever that shudder's about, it's a doozy. Something you never expect to happen is gonna happen!” She shook and shivered again. “And it's going to happen at Froggy Bottom Bogg!”
Applejack gasped, “That's where Fluttershy was headed!”
“Oh, no!” agreed Spike. “Is it about her?”
“I'm not sure,” Pinkie answered.
“We better go and make sure she's okay,” said Applejack. I nodded to her and followed after as she started running away. Twilight started talking about something, but all I caught was her asking everypony to calm down.
Who could be calm with the nicest pony in Ponyville in trouble?
As we ran, I heard Spike gasp in surprise. “I thought you didn't believe in this stuff?”
“I don't,” replied Twilight. “I just want to be there to see the look on Pinkie's face when we find out nothing's wrong.” I rolled my eyes. That's the issue with academic types: they need everything quantified before they can believe in anything.
“Okey-dokey!” replied Pinkie.
As we ran through White Tail Woods towards Froggy Bottom Bogg, Pinkie started shivering again, prompting Twilight to ask if she needed a jacket. Pinkie said no, then shivered again.
That would get annoying fast.
As we got close to the bog, we slowed down slightly, as the hoofing was growing rough.
“So... Whadda'ya think happened to Fluttershy?” asked Spike
“I hope nothin',” replied Applejack.
“I know, but, whadda'ya think happened?”
“I'm tryin' not to think about it.”
“Me too... But I'm thinkin' about it anyway. Like, what if she exploded?”
“Just exploded? For no reason?”
“Yeah, like boom!”
“Spontaneous combustion is a myth,” I said. Pinkie's “Woah!”, however, was louder, and drowned out the end of my sentence.
“I know,” Spike replied to Pinkie.
“What if... What if she exploded, and then... and then exploded again!?”
“That's even more absurd,” I said, exasperatedly.
“But what if she exploded, and exploded again, and then-!”
“Will you stop? She's fine, I'm sure of it,” interrupted Twilight, stepping on Spike's tail.
“I hope you're right, for Fluttershy's sake. Look! There's Froggy Bottom Bogg!” Applejack said, pointing. Having been across most of Equestria while I was being an “insult comic,” as Joe put it, I had seen some places that compared to Froggy Bottom Bogg. Not many, though. At least it didn't smell as bad as parts of the Haysead Swamps.
It wasn't far into the bog that we found Fluttershy, and we instantly ran in to see her.
“Fluttershy!” Spike cheered, hugging her. “You're okay!”
Fluttershy looked confused, “Of course.”
“What a relief,” sighed Applejack.
“I'm so glad everything's alright,” Pinkie agreed.
“Sorry, I know it's not nice to gloat, but...” said Twilight. “A-HA!” Her sudden exuberance startled Spike into the Bog. “I told you there was nothing to worry about, and I was right.” I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and looked. Was this the danger Joe was talking about? “Pinkie Pie said whatever she was shuddering about was a” Twilight, Applejack, and I coughed as a pungent cloud started rising. “Doozy, and- and the only- doozy here is how right I am.”
The ripples I had been watching grew in intensity until a head started rising from the muck. Followed by another, then another, and another. And, despite Applejack trying to get her attention, Twilight just kept talking.
“Pinkie's made a lot of predictions today but – ugh, what is that smell? – But what we've shown here is that there's no point in believing- in anything you can't see for yourself.”
“Then look behind you Twilight!” I shouted, as Spike started stuttering.
She turned and looked up. “I see it, but I don't believe it!”
The hydra roared, shaking the ground.
“RUN!” I shouted, and everypony except Pinkie started running. I skidded to a stop next to Twilight as soon as we realized that.
“Pinkie, come on!” Twilight commanded, before running back to get her. One of the hydra's heads dove for the paralyzed Pinkie and I quickly cast my fireworks spell in its face, forcing it to flinch back and shake it's head, roaring in pain.
The hydra roared as we continued running away, then rose out of what was apparently very deep swamp water.
“Be careful, everypony!” I said. “The swamp water could get deep in spots!” I continued to cast fireworks behind us, hopefully confusing and disorienting the hydra. Everypony continued to run and jump around the bog, dodging the hydra's disoriented lunges. We reached a sheer cliff wall, and Twilight pointed out a hill we could run up.
“HELP!” cried Spike. I reared around and cast my strongest levitation spell, popping Spike out of the muck.
“I said to be careful!” I said, following Twilight and the others up the hill.
“I think we're going to make it!” shouted Twilight.
“But Pinkie's still shuddering!” said Spike. The doozy-shudder seemed to be going on and off more frequently now.
As we kept going, Spike wanted to know if Twilight or I could turn the hydra into something harmless. Neither of us were specialists in transmutation magic, so the answer was no. I had a feeling that Twilight would be studying up on the subject after today, though.
We reached the top of the hill and-
“Of course there' a cliff! Why wouldn't there be a cliff?!” I shouted, before spinning around and firing more fireworks into the hydra's eight eyes. Couldn't do that much more, I was running low on magic.
“We're going to have to cross,” said Twilight. “One at a time, hurry!”
Fluttershy muttered a quick “believe in the me that believes in myself” and jumped across the pillars, I picked up Spike and hopped off after, Pinkie's shuddering almost making her come off the cliff behind me. Thankfully, Applejack pulled her back.
I reached the other side and turned to look, and saw Twilight turned towards the approaching hydra, before Applejack started jumping across with Pinkie's tail in her mouth. Pinkie was still shaking, the doozy must have been getting closer.
But the hydra was already here... If the hydra wasn't the doozy she was sensing, then what in Equestria could it possibly be?
I was disturbed from my musings by the flash and crackle of several fireworks coming from Twilight's position, blinding and distracting the hydra. Right. She can copy practically any spell she sees.
However, her efforts didn't seem to be stopping the hydra, because it made a blind lunge toward her position on the cliff. She barely dodged, landing on the hydra's neck before hopping off onto what was left of the cliff.
All but the two pillars closest to us had toppled over, too.
With a roar, the hydra started charging again.
“Twilight!” cried Pinkie. “You have to jump!”
“I'll never make it!” she shouted back.
“Teleport!” I shouted. “You can do that, can't you?!”
“It requires too much concentration to do right now!”
“It's your only ho-o-o-ope!” The doozy-shivers returned. “You have to make a leap of faith!”
Even from this distance, Twilight visibly steeled herself and backed up before starting to charge, just as the hydra lunged again, knocking off the last piece of cliff.
-“A slight change in timing and Twilight could splash down in the bog instead of bouncing off a convenient bubble.”-
This! This is what Joe had been talking about! As Twilight flung herself from the chunk of flying rock, I scanned the bog below and looked for- there! That must be the bubble!
To my relief, Twilight did indeed bounce off the bubble and across the pillars, before landing against the cliff face.
With a sigh of relief and big smile, Twilight re-opened her eyes.
“I knew you could do it!” cheered Pinkie as she hugged Twilight. I sighed in relief. Looks like everything turned out alright.
Twilight backed up and held Pinkie's hooves. “I don't know how it happened; coincidence, dumb luck, or what, but you said there'd be a doozy here at Froggy Bottom Bogg, and I'd say we just had ourselves one heck of a doozy. I mean that hydra-” She was interrupted by Pinkie shuddering again.
“I thought so,” I nodded.
“Trixie?”
“The hydra wasn't the doozy, was it?” I asked Pinkie. The others gaped at me.
“Right. I'm still getting the shudders, so whatever the do-o-o-o-ozy – see? There it is again – at Froggy Bottom Bogg was, my Pinkie Sense says it still hasn't happened.”
Twilight gaped for a moment before attempting to reply, “Huh? But, I- WHAT?! The hydra wasn't the doozy?! How could it not be the doozy?! WHAT COULD BE DOOZIER THAN THAT?!”
“I dunno, but that wasn't it.”
With a growl and a flare of magic, Twilight rose into the air and flashed into heat and light, her mane turning into fire and her fur becoming bright white. Beside me I heard Pinkie say “So that's what a Rapidash looks like.”
“Oh, I give up,” Twilight sighed, returning to the ground with a sigh and singed fur.
“Give what up, Twi?” asked Spike.
“The fight. I can't fight it anymore. I don't understand how, why, or what, but Pinkie sense somehow... makes sense. I don't see how it does, but it just does. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean its not true.”
Pinkie's shuddering grew more intense as she asked,. “Y-y-y-you m-m-mean you b-b-b-believe?”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
What came next was the most bizarre contortions I'd ever seen happen to a pony's body. And considering my previous career in show business, that's saying something. Pinkie sighed immediately after and said, “That was it! That was the doozy!”
Spike did a sort of triple-take, and Twilight said, “What? What was?”
“You believing. I never expected that to happen. That was the doozy, oh and, oh what a doozy of a doozy it was!”
“I can't say I was expecting it either,” I nodded. “But now that that adventure is over, we should get back to Ponyville. Joe needs your help.”
As we returned to town, I explained the situation as best I could, leaving out that I had any warning about danger. I had completely forgotten about it until that last part, so it wouldn't have been worth it to mention at that time.
Pinkie's idea had merit, though. Get Joe out of Ponyville for a while. Maybe I could take him to Hoofington?
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I did get that. And now two things are happening:
1) I'm hearing that line in Phil's voice.
2) I want to play KH2 again.
I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV YOUR STORIEZ!!!!!
3201381
Um, thank you. Though I don't know why you pluralized "story" since I currently have only the one here (though it makes sense if you've read some of the ones I have on fanfiction.net).
Gotta say, I am loving this story. Enjoyable, realistic, thoughtful... this isn't just yet another HiE story, it's a very good one. Looking forward to more.
3204955
Glad to hear. I'm just having some minor issues making the next chapter's recovery-from-depression not feel forced.
I kinda skipped Trixie's view when I realized it was a copy/paste :3
3207576
Understandable. As I said in the A/N, I don't much care for having to do copy-pasta.
HOLY PINK PARTY PONIES THIS STORY IS AWESOME!
3212536
Thanks for your nearly unreadable comment! (I'm being serious on both counts)
3203272By storiez i meant your chapters
3201381 fanboy much? Just sayin.
"Gotta catch 'em aaaaaall..." Ah, to reminisce of pokemon days past. Those where the years...
Wait. Who got Spike out of the muck? Joe or Twilight?
7190890
Trixie did. The POV changed partway down the chapter.
I now realise the same thing, Nice KH2 reference.