The Element of Time

by Theater Critic

Authors note: the explanation

THIS NOTE CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS!

Ok! I have been getting a lot of comments saying "I don't like the relationship between Wind and Twilight because their relationship was created in 2 seconds" and "Why would you promote your YouTube channel in such a halfassed way." And "this is one of the most cliched FanFics on the planet." And, the most posted "Your character has no flaws, so he is automatically a Gary Stu!"

Let me cover up a few things.

One: Wind is not a Gary Stu. He DOES have flaws. And I am aware that nopony can keep up with Rainbow Dash on their first flight. This WAS NOT Winds first flight. He trained in Ponyville with Babs. Which brings me to my second thing.

Two: How the buck can Connor, which yes, that is my name, (it's so stupid. I'm changing my name to Abel.) dream of going to Ponyville? It is just impossible. Have you ever heard of magic? Sometimes, things don't need to explain.

Third: The Element of Time is just an excuse of being with the Mane 6. This is completely FALSE! And, SPOILERS; he is not the Element of Time. Moving on, or else I will spoil the whole story.

Fourth: How the buck did Wind know he was the Element of Time? This is probably one of the only legit comments that I made a mistake on. I don't know.

Fifth: How does the Element of Time fit in with Friendship? This will be explained in a later chapter.

And finally, Sixth: Why did you make this? Was this just to be famous? The obvious answer is NO. I love writing fanfics, and I just wanted to write a good story. But, that failed completely.

Hope this covers up the problems.

TheaterCritic

Comments

[Blackguard]

1) Flaws do not reduce his Stuness. Face it, you made one and all the explanations in the world will not change this fact.
2) Yes. You do need to explain them unless you just want to go in for lazy writing.
3) And yet he knows he's the element of time and this is confirmed by Celestia at the start. You can't change it now because people say your story sucks.
4) Fair enough but now that you know this and you admit you messed up, why not go back and fix it? You know, edit your story so that it might actually be better?
5) But you just said he's not the Element of Time even though he was told he was and he knew he was. Is he or isn't he? Make up your mind.
6) Then use this as a learning experience. It's incredibly rare for anybody to hit a home run the first time up at bat. You're going to fail a lot at the beginning but provided you are willing to pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes and try again then you might come up with something people actually like.

[Blue_Moon]

1. Could you care to explain what is flaws are? And what kind of help would Babs be? She can't fly.
2. As said above, you do need to explain.
3. Didn't Celestia say he was the Element of Time? Is that Celestia not the real Celestia?
4. Good, you recognized one of your mistakes. That is very important as an author.
5. But didn't you say he wasn't the Element of Time?
6. That's fine. Most first stories aren't the best. But use this story as an example of what not to do when you write your next story. Learn from your mistakes. And at least your head is in the right place about the reason you want to write.

[Thaums]

He's still a Gary Stu.
BTW, I tried to fix up the first chapter, but I just... couldn't. It was so painful to read and fix (no offense). Maybe if you write a new story and send me the chapter, then I'll preread and fix it up. But this, I just can't.

[Thaums]

2378236

He knows too much? Well, I haven't watched ALL the episodes, so I wouldn't know who Owlicious and Tank are, plus Zecora.

Well, I haven't watched ALL the episodes, so I wouldn't know who Owlicious and Tank are, plus Zecora.

I wouldn't know who Owlicious and Tank are, plus Zecora.

You ARE just trolling! I KNEW it.

[Thaums]

fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/91190.jpg?1364750974
Oh, so now he's holding the Master Sword? Of course...

[Theater Critic]

2384765

Ok, I know who Zecora, Tank and Zecora are. But they don't get any episodes anymore!

BTW, I am making another fanfic, Ruling Equestria with and iron fist is boring. (Working title) It is about King Sombra being bored after taking over Equestria. Wanna proofread THAT?

[Theater Critic]

2384789

Hey, it is a lot better than the Ponymaker picture!

Btw, he doesn't actually have the master sword!

[Windy Scamper]

Thanks again for not reading my comment. I guess your character is doomed to be A Gary Stu.

And wait, in other works (on MLP Forums) you said Wind is Babs' brother. And Wind is married to Applejack? Incest much? Cause that means Wind and Applejack are cousins.

[Thaums]

2385272
I'll give it a try.

[Theater Critic]

2385431

Well, Babs is not actually his sis. And the Time Defenders is a totally different universe from this. LOL! Babs and Wind are like sibilings, but they are not actual sibilings!

I will read your comment ASAIFI! (As soon as I find it.)

[Theater Critic]

2373190

I read your comment, and I have A LOT to say.

One, I don't really pay attention to RD, but suprisingly, she is my third favorite character.

Two, Time does fit with friendship. Time is when... Well, read the next chapter.

Three, SPOILERS, Rarity isn't rarity. Fluttershy isn't fluttershy

And I know this isn off topic, but why the buck does everybody love Luna?

[Windy Scamper]

2386432

But you still haven't decided to edit the Twilight and Wind relationship. Good for you, they stay together. As mentioned before, the pacing is Speedy Gonzalas on crack. Especially their relationship. And so, CONVINCE ME they make a good couple, don't just insist in the comments. WRITE ABOUT IT, don't just leave the idea hanging.

And for goodness sakes, let them actually know their personalities at first. Wind's been in Twilight's house all of two seconds and she just falls in love with him. *cups hand around mouth* GARY STU!!!!!

And don't be all like. "No, he has flaws." As far as I know, he doesn't. Again, I don't care what's in your mind, if you don' t write it in the story, as far as I know, he's the biggest Gary Stu of them all.

[Theater Critic]

2386481

Well, there are other Gary Stus that are bigger Gary Stus than mine...

I think one was the the tail of prince Willis or something.

[Alicorn]

Is this still a chat room?

[Theater Critic]

2390615

Not really.

[Ulti Shadow Lord]

If I can go 30mph on a surfboard with wheels, you can try to add some plot. This story has been nothing but filler. In the next chapter, introduce some plot! You trying to make him a non-Gary Stu? Plot. Trying to get more than 15 likes? Plot. See what I mean? Plot plot plot plot plot plot plot.

[Theater Critic]

2390952

Ok. You want plot, you can have some plot!

[Ulti Shadow Lord]

2391005...........*whistling*..............What plot?

[Theater Critic]

2391092

You'll have lots of plot in no time! *Evil Grin*

Besides, this isn't the only story I am focusing on! I will be writing a Manehattan Cutie Mark Crusaders story, (where you get to vote on what they should do to get their cutie marks! I am currently writing a backstory for Babs!) and a clopfic of Canni Soda! (The Galacon mascot.)

And thank god I have an editor! For the MCMC story, not the clopfic.

[Theater Critic]

2384765

I dunno. I think I wasn't.

Now I do.

[Unlikely possiblity]

And finally, Sixth: Why did you make this? Was this just to be famous? The obvious answer is NO. I love writing fanfics, and I just wanted to write a good story. But, that failed completely.

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