• Published 16th Mar 2013
  • 2,125 Views, 113 Comments

Your New Life - Shadow_Fire



You wake up one day in a forest with no recollection of how you got there

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Awakening

You wake up, somewhat, to the sound of voices. A hard surface makes itself known beneath you, like a table of sorts. The pain in your ankle and your shoulder has been dulled down to a numbing ache. The gash on your side feels like it’s been stitched up. ‘At least my wounds have been taken care of.’ You try to shift your focus around your now clouded mind to listen in on what's going on.

The first voice you hear is one of the ones from the forest.

'Fluttershy, I think her name is.'

"Oh, do you think he's going to be alright Twilight?"

'Twilight... that's right, I was being taken to her house to get looked at. Still don't know why I wasn't taken to a hospital. Or why they were surprised by my talking...'

"It's a little early to tell, Fluttershy. I'll check his vitals again after I send a letter to Princess Celestia reguarding... whatever he is. SPIKE!"
'Wait, princess? Why would they have a princess? What is this, some sort of cult?'

A young, seemingly childish voice responded to her call. "Yes, Twilight?"

"Take a letter."

You hear the sound of rustling paper and some scratching before this "Spike" character speaks up again.

"Ready Twilight."

Twilight clears her throat and starts "writing" her letter. "Dear Princess Celestia, a strange creature has appeared in Equestria.

'Equestria? Where on Earth is that? And why do they keep calling me a creature? That really kinda stings...'

“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack had found it limping through the Everfree forest, running from a timberwolf."

'Timberwolf... so that's what that monstrous wolf is called. Note to self, find a lighter.'

"Physical examination reveals it to be a bipedal male of roughly (your height in feet) hooves and (your height in inches) inches in height."
'Hooves? Doesn't she mean feet? And she said that a physical examination revealed me to be a male. Wait... PHYSICAL examination? They "examined" me?!? In my SLEEP?!?'

While you silently freak out, Twilight runs a hand through your hair. At least, that's what you think it is.

"He appears to have no coat, only a peachy colored skin. His mane, which only appears to grow on top of his head, looks to be (your hair color) and feels kind of course, almost like pony hair, but more wiry."

'Why are her hands so hard? And pony hair? Why do they keep throwing horse references into things?'

The hard grasper dealies open one of your eyelids, yet you can't see a thing.

'Must be from the blood I lost...'

"His eyes are (your eye color) and seem to be much sharper than ours. This fact, along with his combination of both molars and canines, indicates that he is omnivorous. A potential predator, definitely something to watch."

The graspers move from your eyes to your hands. As your eye closes, you groan. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all gasp, but Twilight doesn't seem to notice.

"His forelegs end in two claw like appendages, much like minotaurs have. I believe they're called hands. They are quite soft, and appear to be made solely for grasping things. His hind legs end with something stranger. They are mostly flat, with five small stubs on the end of each one.”

As she continues to list off your physical features, your eyes slowly start to drift open. Depressingly, you still can’t see a thing. All you can see is grey. Twilight continues to list things off to Spike, her and the others seemingly unaware of your consciousness.

“One of the most shocking things about this being, however, is that Fluttershy claims to have heard him speak. He listed off his injuries, providing much needed help in treating his wounds. Still, we are not sure what to do with him. We await your response to the situation. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Did you get all of that?”

As Spike speaks up again, you notice some color returning to your vision. “Yeah, I got it Twi. Should I send it now?”

You hear a loud slap as Twilight sighs. “Of course, Spike.”

‘Did she just facepalm?’

“Ok, ok, I was just making sure.”

You briefly hear what sounds like a roaring fire before it goes quiet again. To your relief, your vision has almost returned to you by this time.

Still not noticing you awake, Rainbow Dash decided to finally speak up. “So, when are Rarity and Pinkie Pie gonna get here?”

“We’re right here darling, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want to miss out on seeing a super duper new creature thingy that may or may not have come from another world! I mean, really, how could I NOT see it?!? It could be-“

“PINKIE!” Thank god Twilight was still standing there. “First off, it’s a he. Second, Celestia is coming to take a look at him and… Rarity? What’s wrong?”

“I-it, he, is awake.”

Your eyes widen as you realize that she’s talking about you. You turn your head to thank the girls who saved you, but what you see is not what you were expecting. The six you see in front of you, are ponies. Ponies.

The purple pony turns to face you, and to your surprise, starts talking. “Hello there, I’m Twilight Sparkle. And you are?”

You sit there and try to formulate the correct response to what just happened. You settle for this.

“HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?”

Twilight visually shirked back from your shouting. “What do you mean?”

“Horses don’t talk! THAT. IS. NOT. POSSIBLE.”

Another presence chose this time to make itself known. “I beg to differ, human.”

You turn to the doorway to see a much taller horse with a horn and wings. It was wearing a crown, and was staring at you intently.

Twilight was much less shocked than you were. “Princess Celestia!”

Although, you didn’t notice. You passed out again.

Comments ( 16 )

I passed out again, I'm more of a bitch than I remember.

Stupid author! you made me look bad!

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

2336719

My reaction: Well at least now I definitely know that I am crazy

Comment posted by Darknight293 deleted Mar 29th, 2013

I don't remember being so faint :ajsmug:

Oh oh! Celestia knows he is a human.
img20.imageshack.us/img20/748/157784unopt.png




That will end badly.

2411775 Maybe, maybe not. More than likely. Possibly. Or not. Could. Or couldn't. (I really don't know yet)

Perhaps, the appearance of Celestia is.... vell, premature. Given she apparently knows what exactly humans are, she`d be able to solve pretty much any conflict.

You`d be better off having her delayed somewhere, and thus unable to respond to Twilight`s inquiry promptly, thus necessitating that Mane 6 converse with protagonist directly to figure out what is what and how to go on from there.

2491843 There were crutches. Flimsy ones, but crutches none the less

I'll blame it on the bloodloss when I wake up... now what should I do from here... I would certainly say that trying to get a fair grasp of what Is going on when I wake up wouldn't be a bad idea, maybe ask one of these Equines why they thought I may have been some mindless creature. I may even be so bold as to ask if I could get proper medical treatment.

2492164 Maybe take out the last four lines, then begin the next chapter with the reader trying to question the ponies as much as they are trying to question the reader.

2492164

Constructing crutches that can fully support the weight of grown person, while with broken ankle? That would`ve taken most of the day and chapter to complete.

There may be an abundance of twigs and sticks in the wood, but finding a stick that`s thick enough to support your weight, long enough to be useful and light enough to be lifted? Good luck with that. Absolute most of what lies on the ground is either rotten or dried into brittleness.

___

I would suggest abandoning the whole notion of broken ankle and going with something less debilitating. For example twisted ankle, or dislocated foot. Those, while also painful and hobbling, do not preclude you from standing up, awkward as it may be, and might support some of the weight, unlike broken ankle.

___

Additionally, it might be a good idea not to let the protagonist know the exact exent of his injuries. He can list out what he can feel and what he can identify, but no more then that. In short, something more along the lines of "My foot hurts and my head does not feel so good too.." rather then "I`ve got dislocated knee and concussion."

Um....maybe the broken ankle wouldn't be the way to go? :ajbemused: I mean, why not like a broken wrist or something? True, you wouldn't hobble from that but being in a new environment, in pain, seeing a creature that shouldn't exist, I'm pretty sure your mind would still be trying to analyse the situation before you could even run away from the creature. Also, the just happening to know some first aid seems a bit too convenient for me. I mean, if you're talking about a tourniquet, sure, but a splint? I mean, it looks simple, sure, but if it got set wrong you could potentially suffer life threatening circumstances. :pinkiesad2: Don't ponies sometimes take offence to being called horses? Also, I wouldn't think your average Larry, Curly or Moe would know the difference in feeling a sprain from a brake. If the pain was bad enough to blur your vision I also don't think you'd be able to give quite a detailed description of your injuries, especially since pain of that caliber would also bring delusions or make many babble/ramble about many things. I mean, one of the first things I know I'd probably say is something like, "You sound cute, pink blob." or "My (insert injury here) (insert expletive here) hurts!" or sing some random song as a pain induced fever was slowly whisking me off to sweet, sweet unconciousness. :pinkiecrazy:

Seems a little fast paced. Grammar is pretty good considering how it's written.
I have to question why he wasn't taken to a hospital at least though, he surely needs a transfusion if he's starting to faint and having dizzy spells. They may not know his species but at least they have the proper equipment to handle certain situations like these. Some points I feel are a little empty, like they're some missing points that could be made inside of them but that sounds a little nit picky. For a human in Equestria, this is one of the better stories I think.

This could be really good if you continue with this story! :derpytongue2:

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