• Member Since 5th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen July 12th

General_Darkfang_NLR


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"It has been a year since the Element's failure, and Nightmare Moon has not been seen. The pressure is finally weighing down on Equestria's new Chancellor, Twilight Sparkle. She still struggles with the events of that fateful night - the night the moon made its permanent place in the sky. After one fateful encounter, though, the course of Equestrian history shifts yet again as she begins to truly see this Nightmare. And maybe, just maybe, she and Nightmare Moon aren't so different."
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Author's Notes: This story was originally created by Master Lynked , whose creative genius is behind the original idea for the story as well as chapters: Dawn to Dusk, Afterglow, Shallow and Shadows

All chapters after the above mentioned are written by General Darkfang, with the expressed permission of Lynked.

Enjoy~

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 51 )

So, to clarify, You're continuing this story?

:twilightsmile:story is awesome so far!:trollestia:really want to hear what happens TI NMM

2273185 Yes, from here on out I will be continuing this story.

2273564 Oh, and thank you for the comment Jemma ^-^

I'll try my best to not keep you guys waiting to long in-between chapters

I have no idea what to think about this story. The idea is not new and I have read better and worse with this or similar plot, there are a few write errors, but only small ones. For your first story, it looks quite solid. Maybe a little more detail in the action scenes, but this is often hard because in fighting involved with many the focus on details is difficult because so much happening at the same time.
As for the romance between Twilight and Trixie, a kind of Stockholm syndrome? That's a bit strange when the story has no "sex"-tag, but I've read odder stories how people come together.

I hope you go a little more on the history to explain the situation and the act of the characters.

The worst that can happen is that they will be very good indeed, but completely overlooked, as some good stories that I've read here already and I wish it did not.

For now i give you a fav. to see where this goes.

2274092

Oh goodie! I kinda missed this story.

Would help if the main six' names were written correctly :v
And Shining's v:

The author transition between chapters 3 and 4 is transparent, as far as I can tell; other than that, I'm happy this story was continued.

I like this story! I 'm glad you've updated and I'm looking forward to more chapters.

Here stands the traitorous mane six

the traitorous mane six? they weren´t five?

Comment posted by sunset_lightning deleted Mar 31st, 2013

2350896

Yes there were. But I assure you choosing to say the "traitorous mane six", rather than the mane five, has an intentional subtle purpose. There may have been only five on the crucifixes, but all of them (Twilight included) betrayed each other in their own ways.

This story looks very similar to something I've read before. Is it a repost or something?

2351288

Yes, as stated in the description, this is a continuation of a story written by another author (Lynked). The name and first three chapters are by her, while the following chapters are written by me. Lynked put the story up for adoption, as she decided not to continue it, and with her permission I am now writing the rest of it while trying to stay true to her original direction in the story.

Fluttershy not Flutter Shy

Well, I will be pretty impressed if this story actually earns that spot it has in the romance folder in the TwiLuna group. It will take a lot of my favorite thing ever.
character development!
Either way, I am enjoying the story quite a lot.

2354039

Ohh it will, though it might not make quite so much sense for a while. But all shall be revealed in time to those who have the patience, and wisdom, to wait. (As you pointed out: Chatacter development, and the small bit where I am not rushing into it by any means hehe)

I am very glad your enjoying it thusfar ^^

Interesting story you have here, I like it. :twilightsmile:

One small gripe "Et tu, Fidelitas...?", to use Latin like that seems out of place and jarring.

I wonder if this flashback will change Twilight's opinion of Nightmare Moon.

2834404

Doubtful. Directly or indirectly, Nightmare is ultimately the root cause of Twilight's suffering. Nightmare put Twilight in an impossible situation that turned her from a friendly bookworm into an overworked half-neurotic pseudo-tyrant that is hated or feared by the people, quite possibly crippled her for life and indirectly caused Twilight to have all of her friends killed.

I dunno about you, but that's the sort of thing people will horribly and brutally murder someone for. Reconciliation does not sound even remotely likely at this point.

I'm surprised Twilight hasn't snapped and killed Nightmare yet, to tell the truth.

To the author: This is a pretty grimdark story, and while it is reasonably well written, Twilight is pretty out-of-character, and the story thus far just don't feel like it justifies her ugly personality/mental stability degradation. Canonically, Twilight is far more likely to go into hysterics and flip out than turn into this dark and gritty version of herself. (Admittedly, this is simply my opinion and should thus not be taken as a claim that I AM RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG or anything of the sort)

2956788

I respect everyone's opinion Anon (heh), so thank you for the input.
While I do believe Twilight would, with her penchant for having these 'freak outs', develop some type of mental instability to make her similar to the mare in the story if given enough time. With being thrust into a leadership position, and having everything depending on you in a time of chaos/war, I think Twilight would not cope so well. Especially seeing how she has no one to fall back on here. Though I do agree if Twilight (before all this) saw her future self, she would freak. But then again, who is to say that is not true for any of us? Time changes us all, for better or for worse.

2966428

Hmmm... I guess that's true. It's difficult to say how Twilight would cope with that sitaution. It's just my personal belief that she'd be more an overworked, vaguely hysterical type of officemare on the verge of a nervous breakdown rather than the neurotic semi-psychotic ruler. Then again, I tend to drift towards the humorous rather more often than I do the dark/grimdark/sad/tragedy, so that's probably to blame.

Not to say it's a bad story! Just very... dark. Poor Twily. People like to darkify her life for some reason. :rainbowlaugh:

You need to write more!!!

3195723 Yes I do! I apologize for the long delay in an update, but school is making the concept of 'free time' seem like a joke. I will get the next one out as soon as possible! :twilightsmile:

wow i almost forgot about this story, im glad its still here:yay:

3576741

Glad your still following ^^
and my apologies for long the wait

It's nice to see that this fic isn't dead. Good chapter.

She never intended for the night to last indefinitely.

Uh, Twilight,
[youtube=5X3Rj2uLPgk]
I'm pretty sure she did.

3577320 She's insane not stupid. She'd have made someway for crops to grow.

Hey im really interested in reading this story, but what does trixie do?

3580967

Don't worry, she will be coming back in either the next chapter or the one directly after. The Great and Powerful magician has quite a special role she has yet to play.

My heart desire a world without cliffhanging, unless you are really freeclimbing. I know it's virtually unreachable, but after ending all wars, hunger and diseases in the world. It should be the next thing on the list.

The original chapters set up the story for something much darker than you are writing.
There was still a lot ways in which Twilight could have fallen.

I'm glad you took over and try to redeem Twilight sooner.


Also, the tags clearly spoil whose dirty paws are behind this tragedy...

Comment posted by Humanity deleted Jan 4th, 2017

RIP "Every Night After" 16th Mar 2013 - 11th Feb 2014
"And it was getting good too."
--

4217784 agreed! pity about the lack of updates anyway!

7258786

IT. IS. ALIVE! *ques lightning and evil laughing*

lol, but more seriously thank you for making me smile. It helped me get my rump in gear with this.

-General D.

Welcome back. Looking forward to how the rest goes, and now we get to see the moonlight continue.

Comment posted by Humanity deleted Jan 4th, 2017

Ehh twilights too ooc for me.

Did I win the House Cup?

(Though going from the title it sounds like a Saw reference.)

7452946

Admittedly close, but no cigar. Think more more video game character... more CHEESE.
And yes, the title is a saw reference. In fact, most of the titles are references to something or another.

Sheogorath is actually who I was hearing before remembering who voiced him.

7453359

WELL DONE MORTAL, CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!

2274092 What do you mean by that? Doesn't that go without saying?

Comment posted by General_Darkfang_NLR deleted Dec 24th, 2016

7815417
I mean what it says. At the time I didn't think it was overly clear, because I just started.

2432893 often latin is used for effect also makes it stick i spent ten minuets trying to find a translation before i finished the chapter

is this dead or is it going to continue?

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