AJ vs the World
"What the hay is this!?" Applejack raged, throwing down the newspaper on to the table. "Big Mac! We've been voted most boring ponies of the year again!"
"Eeeyup."
"Do you know why?!"
"Nnnope."
"Ah can't believe it! Why does Apple Bloom not qualify?"
Just then, Apple Bloom flew past the window, holding on to dear life literally by her teeth to the handle of a glider as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo chased after her, shouting frantically.
"Ah, just don't get it!" Applejack mourned, shaking her head. "Ah'm a hard worker. Ah do my chores! Buck th' trees! Collect apples!"
"Eeeyup!"
"Why, Ah do everythin' you do, Big Mac, exactly the same things! That ain't borin'!"
"Nnnope."
"And look at this! Rainbow Dash voted craziest mofo ever lived for her stunt creating a tornado tug of war over the Everfree Forest!" she paused. "Okay, that was pretty nuts." She turned the page. "Twilight Sparkle, best magician-turned-alicorn. Princess of the month. Got interviewed by Playcolt maga—"
"Eeeyup!" Big Mac showed her the issue.
"Did Twilight know what they were going to ask her to do?!" Applejack snatched the magazine from her brother's grasp and took a quick look at the interview. "Guess not. Did it anyway. She's turning into another Cadance. Celestia better be proud."
Applejack put down the magazine and looked at the newspaper again. "Pinkie Pie, Eldritch Abomination of the millennia. Fluttershy, ninja pegasus of the year. Caretaker of the year. Most used, contrived plot device to introduce new characters of the year." She blinked. "Do you know what Fluttershy's hindquarters have anythin' to do with introducin' new characters?"
"Nnnnope."
"Rarity, 'Date of the Year'. Designer fantas...ti...k... or somethin' of the year. Big Mac! All of mah friends are being nominated for somethin' or other, and I'm winnin' 'Most Boring Mare' every year!"
"Eeeyup!"
"Look at this! 'There ain't no way Applejack can be of any interest other than possibly as a date to somepony else. She's pretty much little else than a background pony, attempts have been made by giving her such a thick accent she is all but impossible to understand, but it ultimately fails, said Lyra Hearstrings on an interview.' This won't do. Ah need t' be fixin' this, Big Mac!"
"Eeeyup."
"An' Ah have a puffickly unnerstan'able akcent all th' time. Ah have no idea whut these ponies is talkin' about. Ah doesn't haf an accent! Fry mah hide!"
"Nnnope."
Applejack shook her head. "Ah can't talk to the others 'bout this. Ah must fix this... but how?"
o.0.o
"Discord! Ah wan't you to make me...
Discord's eyes widened and he looked at Applejack in horror.
"...interestin'!"
"Oh, thank the cosmos," Discord let out a long breath. "For a moment there, dear Applejack I thought you were going to ask me to 'make you a mare.'"
Applejack blinked. "But ah am a mare."
"Yes, and that seems to be the only thing going for you, doesn't it?" Discord nodded. "I take it you read the news this morning?" He grinned. "I liked winning 'prankster of the year award'." He confessed. "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were a bit upset until I converted half the clouds over Ponyville into—"
"Yes, Ah saw," Applejack interrupted.
Discord grumbled for a moment. "Fine. So, you want me to make you interesting, hm? I don't know if that's possible."
"Pleeeease, Discord. Yer th' only one that can do this!"
Discord rolled his eyes. "Well, then, I shall help. It's the friendly thing to do, after all." He looked her up and down. "I'm struggling here. Do you have any ideas?"
"How about making me able to buck trees faster?"
Discord shook his head. "We're trying to make you interesting Applejack, not faster at being boring." He tapped his chin. "Think about it this way: Twilight making a mistake is fun and interesting because she will break the world. You missing a kick to a tree... will be momentarily funny."
Applejack glared. "There ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a hard worker, performin' mah duties to mah family and following the others in adventures."
Discord nodded. "Well, you're right. There's nothing wrong with that... except it's borin'. Boring. You don't change at all Applejack. Princess Twilight might be the most obvious changes in your friends, but all of them have changed in some way, or learned something. Yet, you remain the same. Stubborn as a mule..." he turned around. "No offense!"
"None taken!" The mule replied.
"...and doing the exact same things you always do," Discord elaborated, turning back to Applejack. You are the polar opposite of what a 'Mary Sue' tries to be."
"A bread maker? That sound's like a bread maker."
"Interesting." Discord corrected.
"Aaaah." Applejack frowned. "Hey!"
"Look," Discord sighed. "The author is getting bored just writing you, how about we get this over with?"
"What author?" Applejack shook her head. "Look here, Discord! Ah just want to be the most interesting pony! Make it happen!"
Discord rolled his eyes. "Fine. First we'll cater to the fans." He snapped his fingers. "You are now desperately...madly in love with all your friends. You now own a jeep with a cardboard Twilight Sparkle on the back. You are also a vampire. And have a British accent. And you play the harmonica. And you are secretly a masked wrestler. And your hat channels dead spirits. Now, go, you have many elements to be interesting. Go be interesting."
"That's... very kind of you, Discord. I shall do as you say and prove that I am an interesting, and not boring at all, mare." Applejack stated, waving away a ghost that had materialized around her hat. "If you will excuse me..."
o.0.o One Month Later o.0.o
"Is... Applejack still wrestling the apples from the trees?" Princess Twilight asked.
Discord nodded. "Whenever she's not sucking the sap out of them."
"Discord, we need to talk about at least making her feelings towards us normal," Twilight said. "She's already gotten Pinkie pregnant.
Discord blinked. "But... how?"
"We don't know. We think she did it... over tea."
Discord paused for a moment. "Is it sad that despite everything I'm more intrigued by Pinkie and the baby than what Applejack is going to do about it or how she managed it?"
Twilight shrugged. "Maybe, but we all feel the same way."
o.0.o End o.0.o
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I know it's rhetorical, but I have an answer to share anyway. First off Applejack likes her simple (and arguably boring) life. The catch is ever since Twilight showed up that isn't what she's had. This is the main source of conflict, and route for development. Put another way AJ is trying to be boring, but because of her greater destiny, failing to an increasing degree.
This is why I never write Applejack. Sure, she's an essental part that makes up the dynamic of the mane 6, but after we had her "She's too stubbon to ask for help episode" theres just nothing left. She's filled out. Her character is Developed.
Even when the show gave her a conflict to solve (flim and flam) she didn't develop. Sure, they lampshaded it, but the point of the matter is that she didn't learn anything.
She needs too face a situation in which she is wrong. Compleatly and utterly wrong. Then we can begin the slow process of rebuilding her character.
Pfft... XD Wow... That was GREAT! (And it's true. I'm more interested in Pinkie Pie than Applejack if that happened.)
I treasure Applejack for her less-than-interesting nature. She grounds a story, keeping it from going so completely cockamamie that it flies apart.
Of course, I have exposed her to mind-warping mutagens in the primary story I'm working on...
Eh, the point stands. Of course, you could always make the humble, down-to-earth farmer schtick a facade for, say, a ruthless mob boss keeping a stranglehold on the local farms, or work the Manehattan refinement and make her surprisingly competent as part of a diplomatic corps. There are ways to make Applejack interesting. They're just different from the other protagonists. You have to take her out of her comfort zone, or turn that comfort zone into a ruse or a prison.
Well I dunno, I'm kinda curious as to how Applejack managed to impregnate Pinkie. I mean, is it always there, or does she have one of those magic strap-ons you see in clop sometimes? Maybe it's like that porno I saw once, where a lesbian couple go to a cemetery to bang, but then a bunch of ghosts pop up and... You get the idea. And she moonlights as a vampire wrestler? Well there you go, I wouldn't read a fic about that, but it sounds kinda funny.
AJ is the mature one, more or less. She's dependable, reliable, and smart/wise. She's so awesome, that she could have gotten TWO of the Elements of Harmony, but she was nice and let RD have loyalty cause they had to give her something.
Know what I mean?
With Applejack's strength, athleticism, and righteous moral core, she'd be the perfect warrior hero if you could convince her to step away from her family for a bit. And she has a deep, rich history that is yet to be explored. They've only just scratched the surface of Applejack. The problem isn't with her character, it's with the show. They just haven't taken the time yet to really bring out her character and may not want to yet given the possibly dark/sad nature of her past. Hopefully some of the comics "go there", cause that would definitely be interesting.
I like Applejack.
2313088 I do too! I certainly don't dislike her!
2296528 Well... mature to an extent. I consider her more of a workaholic. And a bit of a Paladin. And I have issues with Paladins.
This is new. And funny.
Nice 60 to 0 ratio you got there. (3-24-13)
2313125 Yes, that's what I meant by "more or less." She's arguably the most mature one, I believe.
I thought I knew what you meant by the Paladin remark, but I've been thinking about it all day, and now I'm not sure I get it, heh.
Would you please elaborate?
Oh! Have her fight off the overly aggressive advances of someone else. Who may or may not be an evil re-incarnation of one of her friends!
Wait...That's more about the other one and I think I have seen it before...
I actually think Applejack's character works better as the straight mare witnessing all the comedy.
It never works, of course, but it's the thought that counts. 
She often serves as the voice of reason in fanfics. She is the Element of Honesty, after all, so when everyone is running around trying to keep the Problem of the Day a secret from each other and having groan-worthy misunderstandings, Applejack stands back and says, "Ya know, we could have just talked this out in 5 minutes without destroying the entire town."
This was very funny nonetheless.
And I want to see a cello battle between Commander Shepard and Harbinger now! Why, Bioware?! WHY!?
I was thinking about how awesome a story in which AJ's hat was possessed by ghosts, then I realised that would mean the hat would be more interesting than her.
2313088Who doesn't. Shes' my favorite pony. Go Applesause!
Err, sorry! Saroun Damned auto correct.
Want to see Applejack be interesting?
Bam!
I'm sure I've read at least two other instances in the past. But that's the one that stands out.
I do know the lament, however; Applejack is best background pony for a reason.
2410962 I'd read that. Applejack's Haunted Hat ...
i want to see a story of this
...So. Very. Fitting.
Also, moral is... Never trust Discord.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ooh! I know! While Applejack is bucking apples one day, she discovers a golden apple and after biting into it, it gives her the ability to talk to trees whether she wants to or not. Now along the way, she befriends the trees until she finds one particular tree by the name of Alpha Centauri 7 which is actually a space tree from the planet Omacron 9. He states that he had been sent there to recruit a young heroine that could help save his people from the dreaded Acorn people of Alicorn 7.
Using AC7's vast knowledge, he trains Applejack with all he knows and then teaches her how to teleport and fly to apple tree-specific planets, and along the way, he learns the plight of the Apple people living in tyranny of the Acorn people, and using the life energy provided by them, she's able to banish the Acorn people once and for all and become Apple Queen of all of Equestria!
Goddammit, Wandy, that was beautiful.
You are a terrible person. I like that.