• Member Since 17th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

Scootareader


I finally figured out how to put this thing on my profile. This is the best thing to happen to me since Princess Celestia teleported me to Equestria so that I could romance her student and sister.

T

Each season will have three parts. Including the introduction, it will be 13 chapters.

Spring: Fluttershy sees Big Macintosh bucking apples one day, and can't possibly get him out of her head.

Summer: Sea Spray finds himself in Ponyville with a broken wing, and must stay at a house with Lyra and Bon Bon.

Autumn: A human who dies before his time is given another chance to start over in Equestria, finding a charming young wall-eyed mare.

Winter: Gilda the griffin is insulted out of Ponyville, where she is found and befriended by Alkaline Grey, forcing her to re-think her place in the world.

Heavily inspired by the "Griffin Village" album by Jackle App. This is what I think of every time I listen to them.

Thanks to Jackle App for giving the go-ahead, and thanks to Pandykissu for the awesome cover art!

To those who don't feel like reading, there's also a Fanfic Reading by Lucero the Pegasus that I found just now.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 54 )

Should have skipped Winter.

Nopony likes Winter.

Wow, nice story, although you rushed the end a little and should have put in more depth to them meeting. Still a good story! :yay::eeyup:

2272049

That's part one of three, sir.

EDIT: Now the story detail explains as such.

So it's like an anthology then? Sounds interesting. I'll check it out.

Wow. This was a really interesting and beautiful description of the seasons. Good work. :scootangel:

Let's hope the stories are just as good. :pinkiehappy:

Although I don't really have much room to talk. (seeing as I have no stories published myself..), This is a nice story and your descriptions and writing style are very good and enjoyable to read. But you need to work on your pacing a little, also, the story just seems to lack substance in some areas (the dream sequence in particular could have been greatly improved had it been longer and gone into more detail.) I also agree with NomanV1 that the ending may have been a tad rushed, but that's understandable.

In a Nutshell:
+ Good story, relationship seemed realistic enough. (I don't read much shipping, as It's not really my thing. But I did enjoy this.)
+ Good characterization, everypony seemed to be in character. (I especially liked the idea of Big Mac singing to himself while he works. Very nice)
- Suffers from some pacing issues. (some scenes just seemed too short and would have benefited from more detail.)
- Missed opportunities by not going into more detail. (that dream sequence could have been a lot more than it was.)
(*) Also some of the scene transitions may have benefited from having a separator, to help make the jump to another time or place more obvious.

Bottom Line: Good story! Keep up the good work! You're showing a lot of potential with these! You can only get better the more you practice. I look forward to reading more and hopefully watch you get even better. :scootangel:

2272847

*pushes up glasses* Well, how much do you remember from your dreams? Her dream was left intentionally vague. I find myself spurred to do crazy things more when I can barely remember them than when they're extremely vivid.

I actually quite distinctly recall stumbling outside thinking a car would be there, and when there wasn't, I sat in the driveway for 2 hours waiting for it. Nobody could get me to come inside because my dream told me I was supposed to be outside in the middle of winter to wait for a car.

The scene transitions also have a separator in the document form; they don't copy-paste over to here properly. Time to go put in some separators!

As far as some scenes being short, well... the ending was supposed to feel rushed. Fluttershy... I guess you'll just have to wait til part 2 comes out, won't you? Any other scene being rushed was, yes, part of my still being a fledgling writer. I shall work on that!

EDIT: "Horizontal rules," as they're called--I just called them dividers prior to this--are now wherever there were just two spaces in between paragraphs to more clearly define changing points of view. Also italicized the part at the bottom that was supposed to be italicized, but that I was too tired and hallucinogenic to realize when I'd posted this last night.

Another good chapter, I actually liked it better than the last one. Had some pretty good humor to it. I don't really have any criticisms to point out. Everything seemed in order. (still a bit fast paced, but it's not as big of a problem here.)

Also, how many story arcs are there and when does the second part of each get released? I must know what becomes of poor Sea Spray.

And one more thing:

The unicorn obliged, taking a long lick off of Bon Bon's flank.

What. The. Buck. :rainbowlaugh:

2274098

It'll be a round robin style, so part 1 of Autumn, then part 1 of Winter, then part 2 of Spring. That's just how I'm writing it :derpytongue2:

I'm not normally a fan of human in Equestria, but this was still nice. I'll read the next chapter tomorrow... I need to go to bed.

So that marks the end of the first cycle then? So far I have to say that Summer was my favorite. Can't wait see what happens next on that one!

2306864

I actually have a policy of not reading anything with a "Human" tag on it (see exception: My Little Dashie), which makes it extra strange that I wrote the exact kind of fanfic that I wouldn't typically read. That means I have to have a very good reason to have included it :pinkiehappy: That'll be explained better in later chapters.

I'm kind of sad that you don't have any comments or criticisms on the first part of Winter, though. Thanks for continuing to follow this story!

2308760
Well, I didn't want to just keep showing up and criticizing you... But if you want me to....

I thought the battery OC was raising some Mary Sue red flags with his strange stripe pattern and being the only one who does what he does, but I'm no expert in this field. I thought Gilda was characterized fairly well though.

And I'm going to start sounding like a broken record...but pacing is still a bit of an issue. I know that may be frustrating since I don't really know what to say to help, but the events just seem to happen to quickly and there is very little description. I would recommend adding some of your fics to review groups and joining said groups so you can get critiqued by more qualified users :scootangel:

Also I loved My Little Dashie also. It was the first fic I read......followed shortly by the second most famous fic.....

2310181

Alkaline Grey is supposed to be a mary sue at this point. That's part of the whole thing. Thanks for confirming that I'm writing it properly! :raritywink:

If you heard how fast I talk in real life and how much time I try not to spend doing certain things, I think you'll see why I don't go into agonizingly descriptive detail. I'd never get chapters out if I went into a higher amount of detail because I'd get bored of it halfway through and never finish it.

I can try to do more detail, but if I find myself drifting, I'll make sure to refocus my attentions and ensure that i can get the next chapter out!

Really liked the Gilda chapter. Can't wait to see what you do with it.

2325654

Glad to hear that somebody likes our lonely griffon! :rainbowdetermined2:

HHHNNNGGGGGG all the feels. All of them. :eeyup::heart::yay: obessesed shipper over here :D Very well done. Looking forward to more.

nice keep em coming :pinkiehappy:

think my favs out of the four stories are summer and winter, keep on writing!:raritywink:

Wonderful chapter! Your writing style is great, as well. Keep up the good work!

2537242

:raritystarry: Thanks for the support! I'll make sure the last two chapters are at least as awesome as Summer Part 3. :yay:

So wait, in summer 3 Lyra was going to tell sea spray something. What was she going to say? Was she gonna ask him to stay?, leave?, I must know!

2543268

Prior to Sea Spray coming downstairs to speak with them, the mares had spoken briefly, agreeing that it was time for them to let him know that he needed to move on. Both Sea Spray and the mares came into the conversation intending to say that it was time for Sea Spray to go, but when it came to the actual delivery of the message, words weren't necessary, because Lyra and Sea Spray both knew. For the sake of spared feelings, they both silently agreed not to pursue the conversation any further.

It's a pretty big inference, but the wording in the conversation dances around "time to leave." Sea Spray thanking them for all his time there, Lyra telling him that it was great, all that... it was supposed to leave the reader with a feeling of "unspoken agreement," including Sea Spray's inability to decide how to approach the subject coupled with his actions afterward. It's pretty deep stuff. :twilightblush:

2543316this unspoken agreement has blown my mind....................

Thanks for the clarification, this was one of those thoughtfull questions weighing on my mind. I just had to ask it. There were so many possibilities going through my head about what Lyra was going to say after I read the third summer chapter, but now my artistic imagination is put to rest. So thank you

what my mind went to upon reading the song :rainbowderp:

2647777

No! :fluttershbad: This was the song I modeled it on!

I like the songs, but I like the stories even more, you did a great job on writing these. though I wish they were longer

2650227
Great idea! I think I'll try that with my next fic. :pinkiehappy:

No comments on this one? What a shame! The Autumn series was my favorite out of all four. This is one of those stories that I really wish I could see more of. But at the same time, the ending feels just right, I wouldn't want to change it.

It's actually kind of frustrating and amazing at the same time. Then again, that's how I feel about all good stories that I read. So, good job!

2735803 Well, that's a surprise! :pinkiegasp: Glad to hear you really liked Autumn! :twilightblush:

My only complaint: The song "spring" was actually written from the point of view of a MALE pegasus. But, whatever good job!

2747897

I don't see any reference to a male pegasus in the lyrics, only a pegasus. Do you know something I don't? :derpyderp1:

2747968 Apparently so. If you read the YouTube video description, he clearly states its not Fluttermac and that the protagonist is male.

2753580
Well, I was pretty stringent in stating that these are the stories that always plays in my head when I listen to the songs, and said so in the story description; I would have been lying to myself and you guys if I'd written it any differently. :ajsmug: After all, there was never any human that came to Equestria in Autumn, was there, sir?

2758927 No, but there isn't any evidence against that either. Whatever, there's already an AU tag, so who gives a buck, anyway?

Okay, complaint time again! According to episode 1, nopony knew about Luna's existence, Twilight was the only one who had figured it out through stories. I don't mind Briar knowing, he is the Princess's son, but Cheerilee would have no Idea, let alone her students, or anypony ever, really.

I hope these complaints aren't sounding comepletly jerky:pinkiesad2:, I really do love this story (all these stories) I just have that odd urge to point out every single flaw in anything anyone types ever that people get when they go on the interwebs.::twilightsheepish: Sorry!

:fluttercry:They... They... They didn't kiss?:raritydespair: How dare you! They have to kiss and say "I love you" and... Rrrgggg:twilightangry2: why do you torture me???

2770189
Well... the story of the two pony sisters is written in a book, technically. It's considered more of a legend, so yeah, it's probably quite a stretch to be teaching it in schools. You are correct in that statement!

I also don't mind critique at all; it encourages me to write better next time!

2772360
Not every perfect romance has to end with a kiss, sir :raritywink:

I like the chapter and unlike the other comment I will read the next chapter right now because sleeping is for the weak. :):pinkiecrazy:

2649714 Well then I sang it completely wrong then in my reading of it ...:fluttershysad::face hoof:

-Lucero The Pegasus

3973559
As text, it's actually quite open to interpretation. You can sing it however you like, I only modeled the lyrics on the linked song. Whatever sounds right to you in your head is just perfect. :raritywink:

I LOVE Griffin Village!

4284962
I'm glad I'm not the only one. :pinkiesmile: Those four songs are probably my favoritest of favorite pony music.

omgaia, you only have 814 views? nieght! bollocks I say!
I will do something to rise it

5236014
I appreciate the support. :twilightsmile: I'm not very good at self-advertisement. I do what I can to make sure the story stands on its own and let readers come and read what I've written as they see fit. The only time I tend to mention them in blog posts anymore is if they didn't pop up as a new story I wrote on their own.

as a famous doctor once said "i hate endings" i do too. it makes me sad to read an end to a great story.

Love and Hate it. love the cold. but hate not seeing flowers

5915427
Thank you for the comments. :pinkiesmile: Glad you're enjoying it. At least, I think you're enjoying it. :twilightsheepish:

hey,

fun fact: I also hate winter. especially when it comes in January and pretty much
wipes out Spring and you have to shovel the snow until it becomes a 9-foot mountain.
well done.

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