The term 'Love Birds' is derived from a certain ornithilogical species of birds. Birds that are notorious for causing high amounts of property damage, having large amounts of magical ability and collecting things by the tons in the quest of finding bonds between beings wherever they go. They are powerful, they are mighty and they are called...
"Stuff it already you're giving me a headache description guy, say hello Equestria because the Bree'girl is in town!"
Ugh... stupid Breegull... (Banjo-Kazooie crossover, plus other video game references.)
Chapters (26)
Needs to be cleaned up, and rather badly. Never a good thing when your first paragraph has a run-on in it.
I remember quite a while back, must have been either early this month or sometime last month, skim reading the first chapter of this fanfic. It made no sense. Now as I discover this fanfic once again and take my time to read it I find out that the large wall of previously incomprehensible text was in fact Kazooie speaking lots and really, really fast. Best get on with the review though.
Writing is generally solid with plenty of details and narration, not so much on description but the setting usually changes too quickly for much effort to be spent on it. Dialogue is fitting for each of the characters, even if it makes a lot of Kazooie's parts hard to follow, and overall each character comes across as they should. The humour is great, I caught myself laughing a loud quite a lot, and I like the tangent comedy. Romance is surprisingly well worked into the story, with not too many pairs being introduced and it taking its time to introduce them, offering at first hints, and then slowly getting around to Kazooie's scheme to get them together. Kazooie's deductions are nicely done and informative. Of the pairings, I love FlutterDash (my favourite pairing), and am okay with both Philomena X Owloysius ship and the possible Zecora X Big Mac ship. Although with the Philomena X Owloysius ship, as well as the Celestia X Twilight ship there is the big problem of one in each of the pairs being immortal.
Of the six chapters so far I can summarise three criticisms for this fanfic. The first is that Kazooie is overpowered in more sense than one. With exception to Pinkie Pie she has yet to be taken off guard, she went easy against Rainbow Dash and allowed her to win, is outwitting everyone with little difficulty, and she was immune to the Stare. This negative got slightly reduced thanks to the Pinkie Pie thing, but is still a bit of a problem; Kazooie is stepping dangerously into Mary Sue territory. The second criticism is how it feels like there are several fanfics before this one, several non-pony related fanfics that would make understanding the dimension hopping Banjo-less Kazooie and her jokes a lot easier. Overall it can make the plot occasionally hard to follow and certain points rather confusing. The third and final point would be the lack of indication of scene changing, such as a double paragraph, or a separating line or even a few of these ***.
My favourite chapter would be chapter 2 for Zecora and Kazooie's brilliant interactions but this latest chapter has a nifty amount of FlutterDash and several comical moments (as well as a few that don't involve Kazooie). It can be a bit hard to follow and Kazooie's outwitting of all the others can be quite grating at times but it is still a well paced, well written fanfic with nicely forming pairings and tons of laughs to be had. Superb job, keep up the great work!
330133
This is just a test story and I'm doing it for the very reasons you're thinking. It’s to work on my writing, as I’m also found on Deviantart in the MLP-WTG group. (I have a plan for a story called “mischief bakers”, no shipping but it is a sci-fi setting with strong friendship tones and I’m testing the waters here on Fimfiction.)
I'm not a good fan fiction writer, good with ideas but horrible in the execution of said ideas.
Also how can Kazooie not be overpowered? She can fire projectiles from her throat and butt, she can lift a full grown bear’s weight while flying and running around, she can play multiple instruments, her beak is unbreakable, she can fold her wings to take on a golden glow and become functionally invincible, the backpack she roosts in is a bag of infinite holding, is known to get everyone she meets mad and I haven’t gotten to how her specific power ups could affect the story yet. (Namely she would outrun Rainbow Dash with her Turbo Trainers.) She’s a very fairly astute smart ass in the games and is self aware about the nonsense going on around her. As such I can’t see her as anything but being smart and a motor mouth.
Yes, Pinkie has cartoon physics and is thus a counter to Kazooie’s video game physics. Kazooie has yet to do anything she isn’t naturally capable of, the exception being that she pulled an entire airship from ‘Super Mario 64’ out of her backpack.
As to the thing about immortality, who says I was shipping Twilight with Celestia? It’s just a plan Kazooie has, who’s to say what could happen when she actually analyzes Twilight personally. A Phoenix’s lifespan is finite in some forms of media; IE phoenix’s can’t die permanently until they’ve lived out a certain amount of time like fifty years in total down to the last second.
I'll work on the scene changing, I might even go back and edit the previous chapters one of these days.
Epic Story, But It's past midnight so I gotta sleep now. I'll finish it tommorrow.
ALLONS-Y!!!
This was a great story. Will there be a sequel?
this is fucking genius.
Warning, the following comment contains excessive raving!!! Proceed at your own risk!
*Ahem*
HOLY SHIT THIS STORY IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!! THE BADDASSERY, KAZOOIE, THE EXPLOSIONS, THE REFERENCES!!!! THIS STORY IS FUCKING GENIUS.
This is literally, with no joke the best video game crossover story (no sarcasm) I have ever read. You captured my personal headcanon (one of them) for Kazooie, and just.... sir/madam/entity, you won pretty much my entire line of kudos. While Kazooie at heart is a troublemaker in the game, this is the closest to a dream come true for me and though I am not done yet, it will probably be at 4 in the morning.
The down moments where Kazooie wasn't on screen (of sorts) slowed the story down (in my opinion) but it is still good. Philly/Wis is now my personal pet canon. Even with the non- Kazooie moments, I loved this story. The only thing that will make this story better was if someone (with a lot of talent and dedication) made a fan game out of this. I would play the shit out of that.
This is single handedly the best crossover of a beloved gaming series that I have ever read and the only thing wrong is it's length. I am (because I am enjoying it) almost done, and it won't last much longer. This is the best kind of comedy and you dear writer captured Kazooie perfectly.
Now why in the hell doesn't this have more views
I can't rate it, it is just too awesome and I need to calm down before I break something. You need several dozen sequels to this... Maybe one where Conker shows up... hopefully for a better "Bad Fur Day"
Well done!!!
Yay! Mumbo!
You have a good sense of humor.