Fun Foods from Science

by Super_Big_Mac

Primordial Soup

Twilight stirred the pot of alfalfa, carrots, and potatoes as it cooked on top of the hotplate in her lab.

She checked her array of Bunsen burners, tubes, and other miscellaneous objects of science as she expertly swiveled the spoon around. She lifted a test tube off of its stand as the liquid inside began to rise from the heat. She began to pour it slowly into a beaker sitting on an enchanted frost plate, where the liquid inside had already started to freeze. The two liquids hissed as they were poured together, and then Twilight stirred the concoction thoroughly.

She went back to stirring the soup for a bit, keeping an eye on the temperature. Satisfied that it would still be a while before it finished, she let the stir-stick rest against the side of the pot, then added some spices.

But, unbeknownst to her, she had failed one of the most basic of lab safety rules.

She had used the same stir-stick in both the soup, and her concoction.

The concoction she was studying was not steaming and hissing anymore. Seeing that it had cooled considerably, Twilight magically lifted it over to another hotplate and poured it into a vat that sat waiting there. setting the now empty beaker down, she picked up a notepad and a quill.

As she sat there watching it, scribbling notes at every bubble that burst forth, her soup began to change. The concoction began to dissolve the alfalfa first, reducing it to a biologically active pigment in the mix. The two types of tuber plants followed soon after.

Twilight didn't notice.

The different elements of basic biology began to slither together, clinging and melding into one messy blob.

Twilight's attention was elsewhere.

The blob began to grow, the heat of the soup quickly incubating it.

Twilight smelled a rich aroma, and turned down the heat a small bit so the soup would stay hot, but not boil over.

The blob's growth had been startling, but now slowed down. It's body absorbed the spices, which helped it to keep sustained. But, it needed something more.

It reached a tendril out of the pot, and searched around for something. Chancing upon a test tube, it latched onto it and began to dissolve it into food.

A second tendril found another, smaller object. A vial. It devoured that as well, the last thing disappearing being a label saying 'Lyra Blood Sample'.

The blob continued to grow and change.

Twilight was too absorbed in her studies to notice.

The tendrils located another vial, which it began to absorb. This one was labeled 'Fish DNA Sample'.

The blob began to take form.

The Unicorn still did not notice.

The blob grew longer, thinner. A curled tail formed.

The purple pony paid it no heed.

The blob swelled in the middle and at the top. A torso and head were forming, sped up by the heat of the hotplate.

The aroma that wafted around inside the lab was amazing. Twilight continued her studies, knowing that she could eat when she was done.

A split appeared on the head of the form. It grew wide, and two more slits opened up. It looked around, a grin on its face.

Twilight hummed a popular tune to herself, one Fluttershy had been singing as she had tried to prepare a bribe to get Twilight's ticket.

The being in the pot's two tendrils shriveled, and stiffened a bit, becoming little fins. Its skin hardened as its skeleton slowly finished forming.

Twilight kept at her notes, her quill flying furiously across another sheet of paper.

The being, still smiling, giggled.

Twilight paused her scribbling, listening intently. When she didn't hear anything, she shrugged and went back to work.

The being swam in a small circle, being careful not to touch the sides of the hot pan as it looked around at this world in wonder, the smile never leaving its face.

Twilight ran out of paper. She began to reach out with her magic to get another pad, but surrendered to her stomach as it let out a mighty rumble.

She turned towards the pot, lifting a bowl into the air with her magic. "Mama!" Twilight heard a giggle.

Twilight looked into the pot. Swimming in the lowering water was an aquatic animal with a horse's head. A horse whose blood she had taken samples of to try and figure out how she sat like she did. As she watched, the creature sneezed and a horn popped out of its head. It giggled again. Twilight fainted.

------

"Mama?"

Twilight groaned. Her head hurt. She could smell soup. Good, she was hungry. She opened her eyes, only to see a pair of yellow-gold eyes looking at her with concern. The eyes brightened and a smile came onto the creature's face when she saw that Twilight was alright.

It put its flippers to either side of her face, nuzzling her as it giggled. "Mama!"

"Mama?" Both her and the creature looked up to see a charcoal-gray head with purple eyes staring down from the vat she had been studying earlier.

This new creature hopped out, its eight sucker-studded arms pulling it across the ground until she was able to wrap them around Twilight's horn. "Mama!" The new creature began to rub its head against her horn, and she fought the urge to faint as they both started to happily chant "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

Her stomach rumbled, and the two creatures giggled. "Okay, you two... it's time to eat." The two creatures squeeled, smiles wider than ever. Twilight smiled too.

------

Twilight sat under the small horseyntal food stall's overhang, delighting in the hay and seaweed sushi rolls. Her two new creatures also loved them. Even as she ate, she studied her two creations.

The octopus one was able to use its arms efficiently, lassoing the rice rolls and popping them into its mouth, each new one eliciting a giggle.

The fish-horse-thing, however, strained as it used magic to do what it could not with its flippers.

"Is... is that a sea-pony?!"

Twilight looked up as Lyra squealed, picking up the tiny version of herself and hugging it. "D'aww, Imma call you Li'l Lyra, and you will be my baby!" Lyra giggled, and her counterpart did the same.

Twilight couldn't comprehend the scene. "Actually... that's my, uh, 'sea-pony', Lyra."

"Oh? Oh." Lyra flushed, putting the critter back in its bucket of water, where it immediately went back to eating.

"I'm sorry. I've always wanted to see a sea pony... and, that one looks like me! How'd you find it?"

"I, uh... actually, I kinda... made it."

"Oh? How?"

"I... dunno. I was mixing some compounds and chemicals together, while also making soup, and... instead of soup, that was there. I fainted, and... when I woke up, the other one was in the actual mix I had been studying. There were 4 vials and two test tubes missing when I looked around the room. 2 vials of different sea animal DNA - Longear Sunfish and Octopus - and two vials of blood samples. One sample from you, and one sample of a pony named Octavia. I don't know what the test tubes were of; I hadn't started cataloging those yet." Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof, and popped another piece of sushi into her mouth. After chewing, she began to sip from her iced water.

"... Well, that sounds awesome! Can you make a bipedal version of me? With... With thumbs?"

Twilight choked back the urge to spit, very nearly coughing up a waterlogged lung in the process.

"How would I do that?! I don't even know how I made these two! I forgot what compounds I used when I hit my head, and my notes only say that there was a high amount of carbon, and other biological by-products in the mix. I don't think I could redo this experiment, even if I wanted to!"

Twilight shook her head. "I'm sorry, Lyra, but I don't want to try again. I'll just end up doing something worse than expected. At least these two aren't dangerous."

The two creatures smiled at Twilight and chimed, "mama!" before tossing a piece of sushi back and forth before the Lyra look-alike caught it in her mouth. They both giggled at the fun they were having, and Twilight gave a chuckle as she wrote down some more notes.

"Well, I gotta go meet Bonnie at the park. I'll see ya later, Twi! Bye, Li'l Lyra! Bye, Octy!"

"Baaai!" the two bucket-bound creatures called before giggling again.

'Octy, huh? Hmm...' Twilight smiled as she paid the bill, grabbed the leftovers, and lifted up the two buckets. "Okay, you two. I think that it's just about bed time for us all."

------

After putting both of the creatures in their own big fish tanks - along with a way to go between the two - Twilight got herself ready for bed.

As she drifted off to sleep, a haunting melody slipped into her mind, sending a shiver along her spine.

Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo... Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo...

Comments

[Starfall]

There is a very special place in purgatory reserved for those who use that song, and you are going straight there.

[Super_Big_Mac]

178042 Oh, good! My reservation came through! I'm glad, they're usually booked all year!

[hyourei]

Be proud Twilight. You just created the two most adorable creatures in the world.

[ooooo13]

178167 lmao..

[Rhydian Llewellyn]

I believe that we've just broken the old cuteness-factor-calculator-machine, Gentlemen. Fine work!

[Super_Big_Mac]

178264

178268 Thank you, I did my best XP

178222 I concur, my good man. *sips tea*

[Super_Big_Mac]

I will also take suggestions for chapter titles, if you like. I had a few thought up, but... I lost my mind the other day, and haven't found it quite yet.

Thanks for the comments, and for any science-y foods you can create! (I was thinking Space-Time Sandwiches for the next one.)

[solareclipse]

[ray10k]

178580
how about waffles, made from the very fabric of reality?
or what about pies that can pass through the fourth wall?

[Super_Big_Mac]

178737 Reality Waffles? Hmmm... maybe. I'll prolly tweak that, though. And I can't use 4th-wall-shattering pies. That's been copyrighted.

[Kirishala]

"But, unbeknownst to her, she had failed one of the most basic of lab safety rules."
The biggest and most basic of lab safety rules that she had broken is never eat in the lab, which generalizes into never cooking in the lab either, as there are a wide variety of things that you don't want to inadvertently ingest in there. Though this could be explained by Twilight having one of her little episodes and deciding that its more efficient to cook and do experiments at the same time and that she would be careful enough.

Also I have to wonder what Celestia's reaction to Twilight accidently creating abominations against nature in her lab.

[Super_Big_Mac]

183399 Yeah, that's my point. FOOD in a LAB?! Bad Twilight! You're lucky I didn't right this as a clop-fic, or that would've become an octopus version of Big Mac, that woulda attacked you all tentacle-like when your back was turned.

...

DAMMIT, now that idea's stuck in my head. (Not gonna do it, though. Not... gonna... do it...)

But seriously? Food in a lab is more ridiculous than Card Games on Motorcycles, and potentially twice as deadly.

[Arcanel]

Granted, the fact that Twilight seems too absored to pay attention to a soup seems a bit off, however the fact that it is her studies against the soup I think the studies would win. And even then the shear LOL and DAWW from seapony Lyra and octopus Octavia is just too MUCH. And also Twilight forgetting a rule, GASP...BLASPHEMY! Nice thing going on there, as random as it is

[Maera Fey]

Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo...

[Flame-LoneWolf]

Yay, sea ponies!!!

But yeah, this is a very well written story, and I hope to see more from it!

[Pjoelj]

178878 Wait, what? I... How... Who'd... No... What? But... Pies. Copyrighted pies. WHY would WHO do WHAT with PIES? It just... It...
Loading - Please Wait.

Connection To Brain Lost.
Please Wait - Attempting to Reestablish.

[Clockwise Gear]

I'll just leave this here...

[funkyferret]

This will be fun.
Octy... *snort*

[Inferno demon Dash]

.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..............................welll, we are now all bucked, on a good note, I LOVED this chapter and thought it was very well written, though Lyra came out of NO WHERE! I'm sa big fan of both Lyra, Octavia, Vinyl but not Bon-Bon...I don't much care for her...as it is...can there be one for Derpy Hooves? DERPY!!!! Will await more

[Super_Big_Mac]

1543300 Hmm... I think I might do that... Mysterious Muffins of some sort...

[Midnitemist]

my brain hurts I think you broke its

[Smirkythread]

What?............pop...my mind just exploded from cute

[ShadowLDrago]

178167

Eh, you'd be surprised how lenient then can get under the right circumstances.

[booklover41]

178167

[booklover41]

1091297 them sea pony faces are weird