A series of short stories transcribed from their 'Stone Memory', a tunnel in which the tales of the greatest Dogs and Bitches and the most memorable events are forever carved. Some are spoilers for Dog and Pony Show: Aftermath, some aren't. It's your choice.
Chapter 1 - The Barren Bitch (Spoilers!)
Chapter 2 - The Six
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You won. WOW. Such amazing story-telling, and in my little useless opinion, you definitely captured the canid mind-set. Also, I cried. I just kept imagining a sad brindle pitbull woman burying dead pitbull babies. Ruined my feels, but in a pleasant sort of way, like Old Yeller does to me.
It's how I image the females are. Like pitties, they're velvet around a core of solid steel.
Huh. Interesting story you have here.
This raises so many exciting questions! So in this universe, Alpha Bitch helped raise Luna? Is this the same Alpha in your DaPS Epilogue?
There are a few explanations, or lack thereof, in the actual text that could use a tune up, and the following are as much critiques as questions:
1) So the ponies cleared out a section of the forest to put in a graveyard. How long did that take? In terms of this story, when was the last time Alpha went to this location?
2) Luna's physical description.
I may be an idiot, but all of this wasn't enough for me to be sure who this was.
A) Given the nature of pony models, and how details (or lack thereof) are interpreted in fan fiction, one could introduce Surprise as a character and say she "looks like" Pinkie, but with wings and different colors. An essential feature (or lack thereof) was glossed over: the horn. Not only is it never mentioned specifically, but wouldn't have Alpha Bitch felt it and made note of a bony nub while giving her that thorough tongue bath? Even if the foal is just a Pegasus, that doesn't disprove it's Luna either. There are many theories that Alicorns aren't born, but are a rank to achieve. The ascension of Twilight gives evidence to this.
B) This second thing had my mind going in circles. So this foal has "Dog-like eyes the colour of the brightest sapphires." The blue eyes are Luna's obviously. Luna, like other ponies, have eyes like humans. When it said “Dog-like,” I thought it meant that Alpha was projecting herself onto the foal, the same way IRL we might say an animal has “human-like” eyes. Then you say her eyes can see in the dark. What? For a moment, I though this foal might be one of the Thestral bat ponies(but then I was like, oh yeah, feathers). Again, I apologize if this is supposed to be obvious, but the idea of foal Nightmare Moon is very odd to me. The only time I’ve heard of the Luna’s true form being pitch black with monster eyes from infant to adult was in Aegis Shield’s “The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon,” and even that was labeled “Alternative Universe.”
3) What exactly IS the Alpha?
The Diamond Dogs were able to venture to the surface, and pop their heads in and out of the ground without any adverse effects. Why are the Alpha’s eyes so sensitive to light and take more time and effort to adjust? Is she so old that other subspecies of dogs have developed?
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Hey! Good to read from you again! Let's see if I can answer some of those questions, shall we?
1, 2A & 3) 'Written in Stone is meant to be a series of one-shots, it's their version of a history book. Each chapter is a different story. The eyes of Dogs now-a-days are a little more light-tolerant, but bright lights still hurt something fierce.
2A) 'The Barren Bitch' takes place about 3000 years ago, she's long dead and she was known as the Barren Alpha for so long her name was forgotten. I don't like AlicornTwilight, so in this world, alicorns are born, not ascended ponies. The scene in all italics is a dream sequence, like a semi lucid dream where you can't open your eyes (I have lots of these) I know what's going on around me, I sometimes know I'm dreaming, I can smell and touch and hear, but I can't see. I tried to impart that sensation.
2B) As for Luna's true form, it is like Aegis Shield's 'Return of Nightmare Moon'. I'm afraid that's all I can tell you without spoiling future chapters.
Very interesting!
Gah. If I could, I'd thumbs your story up 10 more times.