• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 18th, 2023

TheGreatEater


E

Several months after the Cutie Mark Cure, Twilight Sparkle goes to where it all began and to try finding herself. What she finds instead is a hidden library in the castle where the Elements of Harmony were found, and from there a spell that may have all the answers she thinks she was looking for. Instead she finds a spell that takes her, her friends, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on a journey that will change their lives forever.

Chapters (39)
Comments ( 108 )

Why do stories like these end up at the bottom, ignored and swept right off the "New Stories" list?

So far, this brings a lot of promise. A journey to find the self? An ironic thing was that I was just now listening to Tool's "Forty Six & Two" as I was reading this. There are a bit of grammar errors here and there that need to be corrected, such as:

“Whose there?!” She yelled into the empty room scanning it for magic, and life forms.
Who's there?!” She yelled into the empty room, scanning it for magic and life forms.

And:

“Twilight, I’ve told you to call me Celestia. After all we aren’t mentor and student any longer, well not in the traditional sense anyways. Go ahead and tell me what’s bothering you. You know you can tell me anything.” Celestia said with a serene smile.

Other than that, I say you're doing pretty good so far. Keep it up! :raritywink:

This is interesting:moustache: I'll keep my eye on this & keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

>>A Green Notebook
Thanks, I'll have a new chapter or two done by tonight. :pinkiehappy:


>>Maltese462
Thanks for pointing those out, and thanks for the criticism, and yes what I'm going to be doing is having each of the Mane 6, and the princesses use a spell that goes through a specific journey of their subconscious and soul. It's going to be awesome. :rainbowlaugh:

Luna's Nightmare Moon form coming from the moon itself was inspired by http://www.fimfiction.net/story/51226/dark-side . I liked the idea of the moon, and even the things connected to an Alicorn's special talent having a secondary side naturally. Rather than just a Nightmare side and a non-Nightmare side.

I like the though that her repressing her emotions, among with a magical push, turned her other side to a Nightmare form. I also like the idea of Nightmare moon and Luna being the different sides of the same being. Rather than Nightmare moon being a one dimensional villain.

Oh the above story is mature, so if you are old enough to read it, it's a rather well written story. The clop isn't senseless and emotionless. But well placed and it's full of feels. I don't know if I need the authors permission for that similarity, but I don't mean to copy it. I simply like that idea since it was what I was thinking about anyways. I'll be sending them a PM later.

**** Edit ***
Received Permission to use Alicorn Moon form with Luna.


Things are going to start picking up in the next few chapters. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Hey thought is check out your stories after you were so kind about mine. I've really been looking for a good long going fic tht doesn't take forever to update and I think I've found it. The story is interesting so far and I can't wait to read more!

Anothe good chapter. I lost it when Pinkie said she put growth hormones in Rainbow Dash and Applejack's drinks that as hilarious. Also I like how you use the spell to make some alterations to the characters blending them with the pony whose cutie mark thy had gotten mixed up with that was a great idea. Really enjoying the story so far

Comment posted by TheGreatEater deleted Apr 14th, 2013

>>DeathPony45

Thanks, the next update will be in probably two weeks. I'm doing some retexturing / artwork for the Main 6 for their Dark Side when they confront them. And I'm doing a Nightmare version of the Princesses, Nightmare Flare and Nightmare Spark for Celestia and Twilight respectively.

That and I'm taking time to read some sad fics so I can get more rounded grasp on their inner demons. I'm mostly done with Celestia's fears and memories. The next chapter is going to be a doozy for her.

Another good chapter. Thanks a lot for that authors note at then end and considering most of my problems with this chapter were just explained I can tell you how much I enjoyed this chapter. It's a very interesting AU and I can't wait to see how you continue this story. A couple of grammar mistakes here and there but I rely can't complain about grammar XD. Also I'm noticing a few similarities to my own story. 5 of the Mane 6 mad at the sixth member because of an accident/screw-up. Now i don't actually think that my fic inspired how you wrote this at all bit it was just something I noticed. But yeah good chapter more reading now.

2425801

Yeah when I read your story I saw similarities, and it also got me thinking about Rainbow Dash and Gilda more. Definitely is going to be a bit of my inspiration when Dashie's journey comes up.

Unfortunately this is all I can read for now :( but still I love this story it's really got this raw appeal to it. You don waste time and try to bullcrap with allusions you're very direct and I like that good chapter and I can't wait to be able to read more

>> Deathpony45

I'm glad you like the story so far, and thanks for the compliments.

2425902 I give credit where credit is due. And you deserve it. This really is a fantastic story so far and I look forward to being able to read more of it when time allows

Celestia I need to get more time in my hands. I apologize for not commenting for awhile I've had a busy week. Anyways it was a good chapter glad for the bit of exposition in the last one as well. Shaping up to be a good story

2464340

The next chapter is the most epic piece of exposition ever. But I know the feeling of needing more time, I hope this week slows down for you and I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far.

0_0 you weren't kidding about all the exposition. And I loved every second of it. The extra time spacing was good cause I'm sure just like everypony else I always thought it was a little weird that Equestria basically went through hell in a year. The way you described Discord's reign was brutal, violent, gory and genius. So many things to compliment in this chapter I can't get them all out it was absolutely fantastic! I noticed several more grammar errors than usual but nothing that majorly took away from my enjoyment of the chapter. Again kudos on your entire account of Eauestrian history it was brilliant

2469353

Thank you :twilightsmile:. If you'd like you could always point out grammatical errors, I'm always happy to fix errors. Right now I'm using Abiword 2.8, and google to make sure that my story passes the spell check, but when it comes to grammar I'll admit that I'm not the best :facehoof:.


But yeah, I always thought of Equestria's history as being longer and when I thought of that I wondered what it would be like. When I did that, I looked at how intelligent, strategic, and even down right devious they really were, most with ungodly Xanatos Gambits that almost went unbroken. As well as how it was mostly pure luck that the Mane 6 won, well won unscathed, and I came up with that history.

"Almareda the Strange"? This character's creation wouldn't anything to do with Emily the Strange, now would it?

2487323

I made it on paint.net.

I uploaded it to photobucket for you, here's the link.

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p142/nemrog/Journey_zps9c6c7799.png

----Edit ----

Who is Emily the Strange?

What was this "laughter BS from Hasbro"?

2491092

Oh I'm blaming Hasbro for season 3.

In the season finale they totally bucked up the cutie mark meanings, and the entire episode in my opinion to the point I was almost crying tears composed of blood and rage.

Rainbow Dash's Cutie Mark had nothing to do with weather. It had to do with competiveness and going fast.

Fluttershy's they did get kind of right.

Pinkie Pie's "Laughter" Wasn't comedy, or gags (those were just tools that she picked up over time), it was spreading happiness to others, usually via parties. Since she gained hers when she saw Dashie's rainbow and was filled with such joy and happiness that she wanted to spread that feeling to everypony she met.


Rarity's Cutie Mark was kind of right as well.


And Applejack's didn't really have anything to do with farm work. Rather she gained hers when she figured out how important family was to her. Returning and working on a farm was coincidental.


I also didn't like how they did they pulled it off. I'm actually working on a Prequel to this that is how I envisioned that episode. And has the characters Cutie Marks skills, lessons, and entire alternate lives bled into their bodies. I'm actually almost done with it, I'm just waiting to finish this story before I go over the finishing touches to it.


---------Edit --------

I never heard of her till now. I thought it was an OC of someone else. I actually formed Almareda loosely on the Mad Mage who created the Necronomicon, bleach Vizzards, and SMT Persona 3's Appraiser of Nyx.

Why is Twilight casting this spell again?

What's keeping Twilight from making time to spend with her friends again?

2491907 What about all the songs? Did you find them annoying?

2491907 Why not make a review of the season three finale?

2495501

1) What's keeping her from visiting her friends is a mixture of things. For Twilight it's her being buried in Princess Duties, paper work, and diplomatic relations. For her friends, they've let their own problems, schedules, and lives take up their time. That and they're still recovering from Twilight's casting of Starswirl's Spell, which this AU had a different outcome than Cannons.


2) She's casting the spell because of 3 reasons.
a) Curiosity, she's been feeling like the life she gained isn't what she wanted and was looking for direction to find herself again. Then with the Watcher's conversation, The mysterious mare " Almareda" leading them to a hidden room where everything began for her and her friends. Happening when she was directionless was to much of a coincidence.

And we all know Twilight, if it's something that is too much of a coincidence or something that piques her curiosity she has to look into it.


b) After the Watcher's conversation, and basically being lead to the ritual chamber. She wants to see what all this is about. He basically told her that Equestria was in danger (The war that's coming), and with her mentality there's no way she'd allow anything to threaten her friends / Celestia.


c) She thinks it has the answer to her current problem, and need she needs closure. Thinking if it has the power to control destiny (no spoilers) than it could fix all the mistakes she did casting Starswirl's Spell, as well as the outcome of the fixed spell.


I hope that answers both of your questions.

2495933

Sorry posted after you added your two other posts.

As for your two questions.

I only liked the Smile Song from Pinkie Pie ... other than that I skipped them. I don't know I never really connected with them like in other seasons.

As for why not make a review? I made it like how I imagined it *Shrugs* that's why this is an AU :pinkiehappy:. But yeah I never thought of making a review ... to late to do really make a difference any ways :raritydespair:.

And bam a another one bites the dust. So I'm just going to take a stab in the dark and say you're a Whovian. If not you should really check the show out its really good. Another good chapter my guess is the pony that didnt exists is Almareda. Again some grammar stuff I've noticed you constantly spell now as know just something I thought I should point out in gonna read as much as I can tonight maybe ill even catch up XD

2509256

Yep the mare is Almareda. Sorry it took so long to reply, I didn't get anything in my notification page :pinkiesad2:.

Honestly I haven't watched to much Dr. Who. Although I should catch up one of these days. I watched most of last season and half of this one (last episode I saw was when Rory and Amy get stuck in NYC in the Weeping Angel hotel where they are fed off of till they died.)

2513107 hey man it's no problem not like I have much else to do XD. Anyways YES I CALLED IT I feel smart now today was good day. And you really should catch up on it (and yes the Angels Take Manhattan also made me cry...I cry a lot Im an emotional person and all the fandom a I participate in seem to despise my feels

2514072

No they shant despise the feels. The feels are good, and I'm glad you're having a good day. Good days are the best days :pinkiehappy: *Throws you a Pinkie Party*.

2514082 yay. I know but it's like all of my favorite fics are depressing (MLD Final Dreams of a Filly When Heroes Aren't There toSave you etc.) and I'm just like ;( why do all of the best stories have to be so damn sad??

2514117

Don't worry I'm the same way. Alot of the sad stories are actually inspiration for my story. Well not ripping moments from them, but rather seeing the similarities in the characters. Seeing how they react, seeing their connecting sad and happy moments. Then dissecting their personality and throwing my own spin on things.

2514211 Well you're pretty good at it. I take a lot of inspiration for sad fics as well which is why I love writing them plus I'm a tral sadist so yeah let's kill some fillies

Comment posted by Deathpony45 deleted May 2nd, 2013

She eventually made it to a room that had gems of every kind and rarity.

ahhhh I see what you did there. Anyways tonight's a major catch up night for me on this fic no distractions just this. As usual a good and interesting chapter with a few minor grammar mistakes (mostly commonly misspelled words though nothing too big) up next should start the psychological chapters and im really interested to see how you break everypony down so glad I found thos

I want Rainbow Dash next then Fluttershy XD anyways glad I'm finally getting into the bulk of the story

Well that was certainly a dark chapter... Iove it. Also I'm glad I could help out a bit for my favorite Pony's own parts in this story I somehow just saw those comments XD

0_0 shit bro. I mean happy ending I guess but the whole thing was dark Celestia sure went through hell. Although on a brighter note I loved the usage of Faust instead of Celestia during this chapter XD genius

^_^ Yep Celestia was defiantly one of my favorite characters to break. Then to build up. When writing her I was thinking about what it would be like to be a ruler who lived over a thousand years who had lived through some of the worst events imaginable and how she'd cope. Then I went about finding things that were important or would have been important to her. Then started hacking away at her armor.


Yeah I thought that Faust would be the deity that the Princesses swore to rather than Celestia or Luna :pinkiehappy:. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far.

So I couldn't get as far as I wanted to cause I fell asleep (not because of the boring story cause its not boring but I was up till close to 12 almost all week and we had just watched Casino Royale and that movie will wear you out) but in definitely gonna catch all the way up today. Again loved Celestia dark side (Nightmare Flare I believe you said she was called?) good characterization of all Celestia's evils you just keep cranking out these great chapters and I love them so yeah keep going time for my fav pony up next GO DASHIE!

2530837

Yep Nightmare Flare. I hope you like what I did with Dashie.

So yeah, I decided to review the fanfic through comments. So here we go.

How did it all come down to this? I mean it’s not like I never dreamed of becoming an Alicorn, but it’s not genetically possible. Most people think that Alicorns are just wined Pegasi, but studying their genetic material, they are a separate race altogether.

wined should be winged, and I'm guessing pegasi is supposed to be unicorns.

“Well you see. I’ve been feeling lost lately. This life is completely different than what I dreamed it would be and I want to go to find myself. Like a journey of self discovery. I know that I can’t just drop all my duties as a Princess, but this is something that I feel I need to do. Also I’ve been hearing someone talk to me when there’s noone there.

noone should be no one.

Of course you have those blasted, antiestablishment news articles calling us Tyrants.

antiestablishment should be anti-establishment. Also, I think that may be a moment of foreshadowing. If it is, and if it was intended, you did well.

Rarity met Pinkie Pie expecting her tale tale deflated Mane and Tale.

two things I see wrong. First off, you spelled "tail" wrong, secondly, you have "tale" typed before deflated. Twice.

The raw freedom of going fast, so fast that she could run away from her pain and problems. Where noone could catch her.

again. Noone should be no one.

I forgot one more thing. I was going to point it out in my last comment, but I accidentally clicked "add comment" (show of hands, who had this happen to them at least once?)

She remembered the day when she found that those experiences were all fake when she met Twilight, nearly destroying the market place like Rainbow Dash would have been normally want to do with her newest stunt.

the word "been" doesn't really fit. I could be "would have normally wanted to do." Or, "would normally want to do."

Login or register to comment