Chapter 7: The Forgotten Princess
Turn 10
Every evening when Luna woke up, the first thing she thought of was her millennium-long imprisonment, the first thing she remembered was Nightmare Moon's laughter and the first thing she felt was regret. Every morning after a hard night's work when she lay down to go to sleep, it was exactly the same. Every quiet moment, every minute she spent on her own, every hour where she had the slightest bit of time to think, her demons returned to haunt her.
Luna had a lot of time to herself, but the dim state between sleep and waking was the worst, because it was such a vivid reminder of what it had been like on the moon. She had never been truly awake, nor had she been fully conscious either. Somehow, she'd even had some awareness of what was going on down below in Equestria, when she wanted to. From time to time, she'd heard her sister's voice singing in the distance, but whether it was real or just a dream or a jumbled memory from childhood, she could not say. Mostly, the only thing she was aware of was being cold and lonely and in pain, yet she couldn't be sure she hadn't felt that way simply because there was something inside her that made her cold and lonely and pained.
The whispers never stopped for the whole thousand years. There were two beings thinking with her mind, but both of them had only a single voice – her own. Since it was all her, it was so difficult to keep it all straight, to tell what was real, to decide what she really wanted to do. Pondering over this in retrospective, Luna sometimes caught herself thinking a bad thought and got so frightened that it was back that she wanted to kill herself. She'd never mentioned this to anypony.
Luna still couldn't be sure whether she'd even existed as a physical entity, or whether it had only been an idea of her dumped in some metaphysical hole inside of that stupid rock that hung in the night sky. She couldn't ever ask Celestia; these were not things to be discussed openly.
Even now, so far away from home, with much bigger and more immediate concerns hanging over her head, she couldn't forget the woes of her past, not for one second.
Luna stayed in her cot for hours after waking up, not even bothering to disentangle the blanket from her wings or to pick up the pillow from where she had flung it in her sleep. The bed was made for a child and thus dreadfully small for somepony as big as Luna, but that didn't bother her. The bedclothes were rough and not very soft, quite unlike what she had in her royal chambers back home, but Luna had slept in it several times before remembering to mind.
Getting up seemed utterly pointless, but when she considered all the things she had to do, she knew that this couldn't be true. She had to find Celestia, for one, and make sure she was alright. Luna wasn't sure she could do much for her sister, but she had to try to comfort her if possible. Celestia was terribly sensitive to hatred and disharmony, and no doubt very distraught about the attack and this whole dreadful alternate universe. Then there was the matter of figuring out a way to get back home. Equestria – the real Equestria – could not be faring well without its ruler. It would be lucky if the government managed to keep widespread chaos from breaking out among the citizenry. Even worse, with both the Princesses gone, there was nopony there that knew how to move the sun and the moon. The time of the day would be locked in place until their return: day on one side of the planet and night on the other. Things would be okay for the time being, but this state of things would get very problematic in the long run. Last but not least, Luna had to find and annihilate Brainy Bright!
Yet, whatever ardor these thoughts built up in her died quickly.
Where could she even begin to look for Celestia? The only way she could think of was flying from town to town and asking around for her, but if she explained that she was looking for the beautiful, white, horned and winged ruler of Equestria, the pony she'd be pointed to would not be the one she wanted to find. Getting a hold of Brainy Bright and securing a way home was no easier. Everything seemed so difficult. Luna felt tired, even though she had done nothing to tire herself. A strange lethargy had overtaken her since coming to this place, and it was getting worse and worse. Her insides felt hollow, like a part of her was dead and gone. She had always been nocturnal by nature; perhaps that was why she could hardly bring herself to get out of bed here.
What was the point of anything, really? There was no day or night in this world, only the sun. None of the things that defined Luna's being existed here any longer. She was nothing more than a sad, strange relic. Of course, saying she was out of place wasn't quite right either, seeing as how she had
always failed to find her place even in her own world. There was a part of her that recognized how ridiculous the extent of her self-pity was, but the dark mood Luna was in was a pit she couldn't easily crawl out of.
She did, however, eventually manage to crawl out of bed. The room was too small to stretch herself out fully, so she settled for turning her head until her vertebrae popped. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and shambled into the living room. To her relief and dismay, it seemed that the others were already out in the fields – though "already" was perhaps the wrong expression, considering how arbitrary daily cycles were here. Luna couldn't even venture a guess as to how long she'd slept. It was an unusual feeling for somepony who was used to always knowing the exact time through one of her extra senses.
There was a sparse meal set on the table, consisting of a wooden cup of milk and a plate of small spherical rolls of bread. Next to the plate, Luna found a penciled note in the rough handwriting of somepony writing with their mouth.
You should really eat something, it said.
Luna stared at the food ambivalently, before deciding to nibble one of the rolls of bread. It tasted quite good – kind of fruity – but she couldn't bring herself to do more than finish off the one she'd started. Eating was such a hassle.
After standing around awkwardly for a couple of minutes, Luna was just about ready to go back to bed – but there was another note on the outside of the bedroom door.
Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should go out for a bit?
Underneath the note was a happy smiley snout drawn in bright blue crayon.
Luna sighed and turned around. She didn't want to impugn on the wishes of her hosts, so she made herself leave the cottage. The door creaked and quivered as she opened it. One of the hinges was loose; Luna noted that for later.
The sunlight outside was as powerful as ever, though Luna wasn't much bothered by it. She was more resilient to high and low temperatures than the strongest earth pony; what would have been painful for most any other living being was was not even an inconvenience to her. Her eyesight was basically unaffected by the bright light as well, but even so, she couldn't bring herself to look directly at the sun. It disturbed her. She had noticed one curiosity though: of all the things in this world, only Luna still cast a shadow while outside in direct sunlight. It was darker than black and made her stand out almost as much as her mane and tail.
Luna was not at all sure what she should do. In the short while that she'd arrived in Hillside, she'd quickly become something of a curiosity and a source of endless rumor, so she was honestly surprised not to see any ponies around. Luna was, after all, a vision of a night-sky apparently not seen by anypony in centuries; she had a horn and wings and a shadow, and was – according to some – extremely beautiful as well. She was thus half-annoyed and half-relieved that nopony was there to gawk at her, though it was natural enough if she thought about. In a small farming community like this, ponies were most likely to be either working or sleeping at any time, which left little time for waiting behind a closed door for a mysterious guest to wake up.
Luna wasn't certain whether to call Hillside a town or a village. It would perhaps have been most accurate to say that it was a collection of villages so close together they had melted into one. There was no elder or mayor, just a long swathe of windowless, ramshackle houses built on hilltops and hillsides. Each hill had its own name, and between them were the fields and wells – the two things most necessary for life to continue in Hillside. Ecologically speaking, the place was lovely. There was grass growing in the area, as well as some pine-trees, though not quite enough to make a forest. It didn't even matter that most of the plants were yellow and sagging.
Reluctantly, Luna set out to see if she could find anypony. She cantered down the side of Piney Hill and up the slopes of Ponyhill, then followed the small valley between the Littlehills to Middlehill. (With so many hills to name, they couldn't all be winners.) Taking into account the short detours she had to make to avoid stomping through the fields, it was perhaps an hour's worth of wandering all together. She didn't come across a single pone on the way until she finally reached Middlehill.
Her steps wavered when she heard voices up ahead – unexpectedly loud voices. Luna slowed down and crept closer, finding an entire crowd in the small square on the summit. Several cloth bags were strewn around between them, and a number of large chests had been dragged out of the nearby houses. After a moment of confusion, Luna realized what was going on: it was soldiers requisitioning supplies. There was about half a dozen of them, standing amidst the villagers in gleaming gold armor. Luna had been told of them visiting Hillside recently, but she hadn't yet seen any.
After a moment spent frozen in hesitation – during which she was lucky that everypony's attention was too caught up in the proceedings to fall on her – Luna stepped further back and set about casting a spell of invisibility over herself. The dark glimmer of her horn caught the eye of one of the villagers, but by the time she turned to look her way, Luna had already disappeared. She felt too tired to get into lengthy explanations on who she was and where she came from. Dealing with all this... it was such a bother. She could only barely bring herself to walk forward amongst the crowd to look over what was going on.
It was the villagers themselves doing the repacking of their bread, grass and vegetables, with the soldiers overseeing them. A bored-looking unicorn officer was killing time standing in the sidelines, leaving an earth pony sergeant in charge of the work and dealing with the questions of the ponyfolk.
"When are you leaving this area?"
"Yeah, when are you leaving?"
"When?"
They seemed to feel safer asking such questions in a group, but the sergeant seemed understanding enough.
"There's been a delay," she said, "but we'll be ready to move across the border, I promise. We're very grateful for the assistance you provide."
"So long as you understand that we don't have much to spare for you!" said one of the villagers, an elderly mare, "The harvests have been getting worse and worse since Queen Celestia moved the Sun so close!"
"Is it going back to Everfree City once you've taken care of the griffons?" asked another one, a younger male pony.
"I wouldn't presume to make guesses about Her Holiness's decisions," said the sergeant smoothly.
The griping didn't end there. Luna could understand the villagers' ire, but wasn't inclined against the soldiers either. From what she had heard, Equestria was at war, and requisitioning foodstuffs from civilians was sometimes just a necessity when times were tough. In ages past, she herself had been forced into the position of keeping armies fed in such a manner. Seeing as this unit only asked for a portion from each household instead of simply taking everything, they were more benevolent than others might have been.
Once all the supplies were redistributed, the soldiers heaved their newly filled bags on their backs and set out. The sergeant had a one final thing to say to the villagers.
"Remember to be on the watch for griffon spies and saboteurs! Report any griffons you see in this area to the military immediately, and do not try to interact with them! Under no conditions are you to harbor any of them! Do you understand?"
The villagers exchanged worried glances, but had no reply otherwise. The sergeant gave them a nod and cantered off after her commanding officer. Luna watched her and the others head down the hillside for a moment, and then – to her surprise – went after them. At long last, she felt something clear and positive: curiosity. She wanted to know what the Equestrian military was really like, and so decided to follow the soldiers back to their camp. Luna had heard some disturbing, frightful things about Queen Celestia. The truth was that she didn't want to believe them, so she hoped to find out more. There might have been, she thought, some other explanation for why things in this world were as they were.
The group headed northeast, crossing hill after hill on their way. Occasionally, they came across other collection teams picking up supplies from some of the other villages of Hillside, but there were still few villagers on the move. Luna's hooves didn't bend a single blade of grass as she walked, let alone make any noise. She didn't have to worry about being noticed, so she easily kept up with the other ponies' quick military match. It didn't take them long to reach the edge of the settlement. Once they got over one final ridge, Luna finally laid eyes on where the military had set up camp – an abandoned city.
Hillside was apparently located in territory annexed from the Griffon Kingdom many years ago. The ghostly city nearby had once been a griffon settlement. Although pony settlers had cannibalized it for raw materials and other valuable leftovers, griffon architecture wasn't really suited for permanent habitation by landlocked earth ponies, which most of the settlers just happened to be. Although it was still decent for giving an army unit on the move shade from the sunshine, the city was little more than a burned out ruin nowadays. Most of its plentiful towers had long since collapsed, brought down by the ravages of time, and perhaps also damage from the first pony-griffon war. The sad picture was completed by the giant sun illuminating the wreckage. It was close, just beyond the mountains that loomed on the horizon beyond the ruins.
The unicorn officer kept apart from the others on their way, but the sergeant made small talk with the others and asked questions of them. This all faded when they reached the abandoned city. Despite the hundreds of soldiers milling about the streets, the whole camp was unnaturally quiet. Luna wasn't sure whether that was because of the solemnity of the environment or something else entirely.
The band took their supplies to a quartermaster, based in an empty and cavernous hall that was largely intact. They also met their commanding officer there – a grizzled, middle-aged unicorn mare with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. The colonel's coat was a cloudy gray and her mane a silver-striped off-white. Half of her snout was a mess of talon-scars and she wore an eyepatch over one eye. The wounds looked relatively recent.
"Well, soldiers?" she asked the new arrivals sharply, "Did you see any griffons?"
It was the sergeant who answered. "No, sir. No griffons anywhere."
"That's where you're wrong!" barked the colonel, "Griffons can be just about anywhere! By Celestia, we can't let our guard down for one moment if we're to beat them! Do you think I got like this because I fell into a rosebush?" She raised her forehoof and pointed it at her face.
"No, sir. Sorry, sir."
"What did the villagers have to say? Come on now!"
"They've seen no trace of the enemy."
"They are lying, of course," said the colonel, "We have reports of griffon scouts coming down in this area. I just know they're hiding somewhere around here!"
The sergeant wisely kept her mouth shut at that. Luna, on her part, turned around to leave in search of somepony more interesting. This whole scene was an embarrassment. Before stepping out the door, she took one last look at the colonel, who was now pacing around the hall with a manic intensity. Her eyes were gleaming with unshed tears and madness.
"I'll need to go there myself in a turn or two to find out the truth! Yes, there will have to be an inspection..."
Luna shook her head and stepped outside. This mare was obviously in no condition to be in command of anything right now. Still, there would probably be no great harm if she brought her troops to knock on some doors in Hillside. After all, it wasn't as if there were really griffon spies hidden there...
She went on to trot around the cityscape, covertly looking in on what the soldiers were up to. Being invisible granted her a pleasant sense of freedom, though this freedom came at a price. She felt like a coward, and a bit of a voyeur as well. This was not behavior befitting a Princess.
From what Luna gathered, there were about a thousand earth ponies in the ruined city – a battalion – as well as some hundred pegasi. The earth ponies were under the command of unicorn officers. Many of them were busy with drills and sparring, or with fixing up this or that for their temporary lodgings, or with standing guard on the perimeter, but just as many were resting and waiting. As expected, the upcoming battle dominated all conversation, but the general mood was neither as somber nor as jittery as Luna would have expected. The troops seemed to await the coming battle with resignation. Nopony seemed worried that the griffons would strike first.
Luna soon came across a group of officers discussing the state of things over a meal. Their outlook was generally optimistic.
"If it hadn't been for that mishap in Stalliongrad, we'd have won this war already. At this point, we're just wasting time."
"I'm not so sure about that. It'll probably take us some time to take the Valley of the Wind and get our main force into griffon territory."
"Do you think that terrorist incursion into Everfree might have been part of the reason for why top brass delayed the attack?"
"Perhaps. I don't see why the Council would be so worried though. The rebels were routed, weren't they? They were never even a threat."
"I have to admit, speaking purely from a strategic perspective, I don't feel comfortable leaving the City so defenseless while most of the army is concentrated here. It would take us weeks to get back there, and the occupation army in Zebrica is out of the game entirely."
"The garrison at Everfree is more than enough to handle Applejack's rag-tag bunch of misfits. She'll never have the numbers to threaten the City openly. The Secret Police will handle them. Meanwhile, we have the griffons shaking in their feathers, so they won't strike out beyond their borders. Who does that leave? No one. Gentleponies, we have no enemies left."
"I can't believe you're worried about that. The Queen is in Everfree City."
One veteran earth pony warrior, sitting underneath a tarp overhang with a bunch of younger recruits, was giving instructions on enemy tactics.
"You'll hear officers telling you that griffons are cowards. They'll be talking right out of their flanks! Griffons are not cowards. In nine cases out of ten, a griffon will face you head on in an honest battle. They're too honorable to ambush you or gang up on you. They call it "chivalry." That's their weakness right there, you hear me? Never get into a one-on-one fight if you can help it. When you see an opportunity to hit them while they're unawares, take it. When one of them picks you out, retreat. Mingle with your comrades, rely on numbers to overwhelm them. That's how you'll survive."
As cynical and dirty as this sounded, it was probably good, pragmatic advice. Luna couldn't blame them for thinking this way. Others, however, had very different ideas and were even looking forward to the battle. On a lookout post on top of one of the standing towers, three pegasi in chainmail armor were having a discussion of their own. Since no stairs led there at all, Luna had to hover up so the beating of her wings wouldn't give her away.
"Sir Darlton Feathershine the Rampant. That's who I want to fight. He's supposed to be a real beast, so wild that others won't even hunt with him. Huge as a bear, too! They won't soon forget my name if I manage to kill him. I've heard he's been spotted at the griffons' defensive line near here, so I think I have a shot."
"Feathershine is good, but the real prizes are back at the Capitolium Leo. I'm setting my sights on one of the King's Claws, the bodyguards of the royal line. If I'm lucky, I might even nab Frederica Greenhill. The Avenger, they call her. Though, I'm worried the capital will already have been picked apart by the time we get there."
"I thought Dame Greenhill had passed away? She must be close to a hundred by now."
"The way I hear it, she swore an oath to die in battle before old age claims her. She'll take to the field sooner or later. If only those bloody giftless earth ponies could finally get a move on..."
"Your goals are lofty, my fellows – but I'm aiming higher still. I'm going to bring down an aeromancer, just you wait."
Overall, there was griping about the army group whose late arrival was responsible for the delay in the invasion plans, musing about sneaking to Hillside for some off-duty entertainment, grousing over the rationing. It was all very normal, very expected, and yet Luna couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. From time to time, she could sense the indistinct stink of rotting meat in the stale air, but the feeling disappeared as soon as she tried to home in on it. She couldn't even trust herself to be sure whether she merely imagined it or not. On top of that, even though she knew she was invisible, she couldn't get over the notion that somepony or something was watching her.
Throughout all this, Luna still couldn't figure out the big mystery... Why was Equestria going to war? Why all this was necessary? Ponies were pure and noble and good in general, and not given to warring unless it was to defend themselves. They usually only did bad things because of bad influence, because they were led astray. The Celestia Luna knew would never have condoned violence without a very good reason. What was she supposed to make of it all? Was she among the armies of evil or the forces of righteousness? She wished her sister had been there to help her and to take away the responsibility of having to decide for herself what to do. Luna was too tired to think properly.
In the end, Luna even saw a griffon – a dead one. She caught the scent of its blood from up the street. When she went to investigate, she found a small crowd gathered around a limping pegasus with a broken wing. The pegasus was very small for an adult stallion, and his bulging eyes would have been almost funny if it hadn't been for the streaks of dried blood in his coat. The griffon corpse he was dragging behind himself was covered in dark red, and every single limb seemed to be bent at an odd angle.
"Why did you bring it back to camp?" somepony asked him.
"Trophy," grunted the pegasus, "For my wall."
Luna shuddered.
Turn 11
By the time Luna returned to the cottage a couple of hours later, Sandy and Sweet Potato were already back home as well. Despite knowing she was welcome there, Luna slinked inside with the greatest sense of embarrassment, which was then mostly dispelled when little Wingspan came galloping up to her like an excited puppy.
"Hello!" he said.
"Good, um, good day!" said Luna earnestly.
"You gonna do another trick, Miss Woona?"
"No, not right now. Maybe later..."
Wingspan nodded, grabbed her by the hoof and dragged her over to the hearth, where his parents were making dinner, lunch, breakfast – whatever. It looked to be some sort of tree root soup.
"Welcome back!" said Sandy, "We're so glad you're okay!"
"Oh yes," agreed Sweet Potato, "We got a little worried about chasing you out of the house just as the soldiers came around for another visit. None of them saw you, did they?"
"No," said Luna, "Why shouldn't they see me?"
They couple glanced at each other. "We just thought it might be... trouble," said Sandy.
Luna had hidden herself from the soldiers almost off-handedly, but now she tried to imagine what kind of "trouble" she might have gotten into with them. She could at least hope that none of them would have tried to make a trophy out of her.
Sandy and Sweet Potato had been kind enough to give Luna a place to stay since she'd found her way to Hillside a short while ago. She'd been in a rather sorry state back then, so she was thankful for their assistance, even though she didn't strictly speaking need the shelter or the food. Luna had told the family – in rough terms – who she was and where she was from, though she didn't for a moment think that they fully believed her. They did, however, accept her even though she looked unlike anything they had ever seen.
Sweet Potato was fairly small of frame for an earth pony, though still all wiry muscle under his yellow coat. He had spiky ginger hair and – unsurprisingly – a potato for a cutie mark, though it was a potato plant, not the produce itself. Sandy was a maroon pegasus with a black-ish mane and tail and a quill cutie mark. One of her wings was slightly bent, indicating an old injury. Their young colt took after his mother in looks as well as race. He was still very young and didn't yet seem to understand the differences between his parents.
"The soup's almost ready if you want it!" said Sweet Potato.
"You didn't eat anything earlier, so you must be very hungry," added Sandy, "I'll get out a bowl for you."
"Um, thanks."
Luna would have preferred to go back to sleep, but didn't feel the need to argue. It was courteous to stay for the meal. In the same vein, although she didn't need nearly as much sustenance as a normal pony, she still forced herself to eat so the others wouldn't feel uncomfortable about what she was.
"By the way, I noticed that the hinge on the door is a little shaky!" said Luna, "I could fix that up for you, if you want."
Sandy and Sweet Potato glanced at each other again, as they often did. They were so in tune with each other seemed to understand each other perfectly through the shortest moments of eye contact. Every time they did it, Luna felt like she was getting left out of entire unvoiced conversations.
"Feel free if you'd like," said Sandy with a smile.
Luna could hardly take a step back towards the entrance when she already found Wingspan at her side.
"You're going to do a magic trick, aren't you?"
"I will perform a spell, yes, but it really won't be very impressive this time."
She couldn't help but try to give him a little show of sorts. She let a bit of mist stream forth as she started exuding black light from her horn. Pointing the horn at the hinge, she started working her magic, reverting the effects of years of mechanical stress. For good measure, she fixed the other one as well. Though his parents looked fairly ambivalent about the display, Wingspan watched Luna in fascination. He had never seen unicorn magic before meeting her.
"That was very nice of you, Luna," said Sweet Potato once she was done.
"No problem!" replied Luna with a vague smile.
It was her way of giving something back to the family. With her magical expertise, repairing this and that around the household was easy as pie. All the same though, she couldn't suppress the guilty little feeling that told her that this was pointless and that there were much bigger issues she should have concerned herself with.
After that, they ate. Luna gobbled up her bowl of soup dutifully and remained sitting at the table. The soup tasted a lot like... well, tree roots – rather bland, in other words. Wingspan wasn't fond of it, but his mother talked him into finishing it, after which he retreated into his play-corner for some quality time with his toys. Luna waited until his parents were done as well.
"I'm curious about some things," she said.
Both Sandy and Sweet Potato smiled identical smiles. Luna had been curious about a lot of things. She'd been quizzing them about most anything that came to mind since she'd moved in. They had taught her a lot of things about the world she now found herself in.
"What do you want to know?"
"What, exactly, does 'giftless' mean?" asked Luna.
The couple shared yet another glance, their smiles gone now. Asking the question, or just saying the word, seemed to impact their good mood somewhat. In this case, the glance was an indication for Sweet Potato to speak.
"Well, according to all the histories, all ponies used to be just ponies. When Celestia descended from the heavens and brought harmony to Equestria, she gave her subjects two gifts: horns and wings like her own. One third of ponykind became unicorns and another third pegasi. But the Queen didn't have any gifts left for those that remained, so they had to stay just ponies forever after. That's why we're the giftless."
"The Queen also declared that since earth ponies are the only ones that can grow crops anywhere but the very hottest deserts, they were obligated to produce food for ponykind and handle the more menial jobs while the other races dealt with more important matters using their gifts."
"That- that doesn't even make sense!" burst out Luna, "How are earth ponies giftless if they have abilities unicorns and pegasi don't? Doesn't anypony realize how contradictory this is? Just because earth ponies' talents aren't visible-"
She shut up abruptly, turning a little red under Sandy's and Sweet Potato's gazes. They certainly didn't need her to tell them how unfair the system was. Sweet Potato was the one that had lived with this discrimination his entire life.
"Wait, you're saying you've been taught that Celestia created unicorns and pegasi?" wondered Luna, "That is such a... such a... such a load of dung!"
"How do you know?" asked Sandy and Sweet at the same time.
It was a good question. She didn't really know, or at least, she couldn't explain how she felt safe in the knowledge that things had happened the same way in this universe as they had in her own.
"Everything in Equestria is kept separate between earth ponies and the other two races," said Sandy, "Schools and hospitals, obviously, and public facilities too. In the case of living areas, it's more the result of economic differences. Relationships are restricted as well."
"'Relationships are restricted?'" repeated Luna, "You mean... there are anti-miscegenation laws?"
"Miscege-what?"
"I mean, it's illegal for ponies of two different races to marry?"
"Well, it's not illegal... It's just not supposed to happen. That goes for all three races, but earth ponies especially."
"If a foal born to a pegasus and earth pony couple or a unicorn and earth pony couple has wings or a horn, they're said to have stolen Celestia's Gift. Things can be very difficult for ponies born from such unions."
Both of them looked over to Wingspan as one. The colt was lounging on the floor and drawing on a piece of paper with dark blue crayon. Luna could guess what he was drawing. Since her arrival, he'd churned out one heart-warmingly grotesque rendition of her after another. He seemed to think she was "cool."
"Do the other ponies here have a problem with you two... you know?" asked Luna.
"Some do. Sandy gets some nasty glances from time to time..."
"That's not because I'm a pegasus; they just think I'm useless."
"...but we get along with most folks just fine. Wingspan plays with the other colts and fillies like any other kid. They're just used to us by now, I suppose."
"Out here in the borderlands, these kinds of stigmas aren't too big of a deal. There's one other pegasus in Hillside, and I hear her family's lived here since the beginning. Young stallions try to court her often enough, but she's not very sociable and mostly stays to herself. That kind of stuff would not be acceptable in the city."
"Well," said Luna, "what would happen if two ponies in a city decided to pursue that kind of relationship? Or what if you moved to some bigger place?"
"I'm not really sure, to be honest," said Sandy with a nervous laugh, while Sweet Potato shrugged. Neither of them looked comfortable with the thought.
"How did you two end up together then, if this is such a big deal?" asked Luna, "How did you even meet? You're not from around here, are you Sandy?" She paused. "I hope it's okay for me to ask."
Sandy laughed, but there was a certain awkward fakeness to it. She had a brief look at her husband before answering. "Of course it's okay! It's kind of a long story though, and not nearly as exciting as you'd expect from a tale of forbidden love. I won't bore you with the details."
That sounded rather evasive, but Luna didn't feel the need to push it. Everypony had some things they wanted to keep to themselves, or things they just didn't like to talk about.
They were all silent for a good long time. Sandy and Sweet Potato finished up their meals, while Luna sat still and pondered. Her thoughts kept sliding back to the one big issue still on her mind – the question she'd been wondering about since coming to Hillside, but had never dared ask. She reckoned it was time to see if she had built up enough courage by now.
Besides, protracted silences with Sandy and Sweet Potato always made her nervous that they were only waiting for the chance to ask Luna when she would move out.
She cleared her throat, catching their attention, and looked at both of them in turn.
"Do you know anything about any other ponies named Luna?" she asked, her voice a little more high-pitched than she intended.
She could tell right away that they did not. Both of them looked at each other inquisitively and were reassured that the other knew just as little about any Lunas as themselves.
"I don't think so, no."
"Sorry, doesn't ring a bell."
"It wouldn't necessarily be somepony you know," urged Luna, "It might be a historical figure, or... something!"
She was too embarrassed to mention the possibility of "Luna" being the former co-ruler of Equestria.
"Well, if you're wondering about history, there's somepony who might be able to help you."
Luna leaned forward. "Oh? Please, go on!"
"There's an old pony that used to work in the big city many years ago. He's not quite a scholar, but he does know a lot, especially about folklore and things like that."
"Mind you, he is getting on in the years, so his memory is a little fuzzy. He can't remember his name anymore, so we at the village just call him Old Pony."
"He lives right near here, on Last Hill."
Turn 12
Luna had a self-conscious look around before raising her hoof and knocking on Old Pony's door. Although the hut he lived in wasn't terribly big, it took a long time before Luna got any sort of response. As Sandy and Sweet Potato had explained to her, catching somepony while they were awake was a matter of luck, so she waited. Just as she started wondering whether it would be proper to knock again, she heard shuffling from inside. Soon after, the door opened, revealing a shriveled-up old stallion half the size of Luna herself. Old Pony had a coat of faded turquoise and little to none of his mane left. He squinted up his eyes in the sunlight.
"Hi?" said Luna.
"Oh? Oh, why hello there! I've been expecting you!"
Luna's eyes widened. "You- you have?"
"Well, aren't you here to deliver my milk?"
"What? No! That's not it at all! My name is Luna, I came here because I heard you could tell me something about the legends of Equestria's past!"
Old Pony stood still for a moment, an expression of utter confusion on his face, then smiled. "Is that how it is? Well, come on in then! You'll have to forgive me, it's a bit of a mess, eh."
Saying it was a bit of a mess was an understatement. The light shining in through the open doorway illuminated the oodles of dust swirling around in the air, and everything else as well. There were books, scrolls and clothes strewn about everywhere, and a rolled-up rug took up most of the dining table – and there was a smell, oh yes. Luna could tell Old Pony was a bachelor. A moment later, she felt bad for thinking that.
Stepping into the room, she almost lost her balance and fell over when the small brown thing on the floor she had (for some reason) thought was a fur hat – but actually turned out to be a small cat – leapt up and streaked across the room. The only space clear for sitting was the bed, so Luna elected to remain standing. Old Pony ponderously made his way there to lie down. Once down, he paused to think.
"Oh my goodness," he said, "I forgot to offer you some water."
"That's all right," said Luna quickly.
It was apparently a bit discourteous for a visitor to refuse water when offered, but Luna was uncomfortable seeing somepony this old and infirm strain himself. She wasn't going to let herself be waited on. Old Pony didn't look offended, but that didn't stop an awkward silence from settling in. His eyes were half-closed and his head kept swaying downwards, as if he was close to nodding off.
"So," began Luna, "is it true you don't remember your name anymore?"
"What'd you say?"
"Never mind..."
"What?"
Luna bit her lip and raised her voice when she continued. "I have a question about the history of Equestria! I was told you were the pony to see?"
"Oh yeah? Well, I do know this and that."
"Well, what I want to know is..." She searched for the proper words. "Do you know anything about Queen Celestia ever having a sister?"
"You're referring to the Forgotten Princess?"
Luna lowered her head. "Yes, I suppose so."
"Hmmmhm. Not many primary sources survive from that period, but I am familiar with the known lore surrounding her. Her name was Luna, and she was once Celestia's equal and opposite." He cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, in the wake of the disastrous reign of Discord, both sisters ruled Equestria together. Celestia, the elder sister, controlled the sun and Luna, the younger sister, controlled the moon. In these days, you see, time passed in a cycle of days and nights, heralded by the movement of two different celestial bodies. The moon was similar to the sun, but brought darkness instead of light. Both sisters also had the title of Princess, in case you're wondering. Anyway, Equestria is said to have been very different in those times – very peaceful and harmonious. But a thousand years ago, something changed."
At this point, Old Pony paused and blinked his eyes in confusion.
"Yes?" Luna urged him.
"Easy, my dear. I was just collecting my thoughts. Now where was I? Oh yes." He cleared his throat again. "Princess Luna disappeared, and Celestia became Queen. Things continued on much the same for a while, and nopony ever knew what happened to Luna. However, there is one last reference to her in the historical texts. When the Queen declared the Eternal Day, destroyed the moon and started the wars of conquest, Luna is supposed to have returned and led a rebellion to try and stop her sister. She came with a secret weapon, something called the Aspects of Harmony or the Elements of Harmony and fought Celestia in a grand battle that is said to have moved mountains. But she and her rebellion failed, and that was the last anypony has heard of her. This was the beginning of what is commonly known as the Tyranny of Light, approximately 750 years ago. From then on, Princess Luna has been consigned to the realm of memory."
"So she was killed," said Luna, looking at the floor.
There was a substantial pause before Old Pony answered. "Yes," he said. He was now staring intently at Luna, eyes fully open, as if only now realizing how unusual she looked like. "What did you say your name was again, young lady?"
Luna ignored the question. It wasn't so much that she felt she had to be secretive – she just didn't see the point if he was likely to forget her as soon as she left anyway.
"Why?" she asked, "Why did Celestia do that? Did she... do it out of her own free will?"
"There is some question on the matter."
"Well, hurry up and tell me!"
"Ahem. There are some stories claiming that Celestia became a tyrant because she has been possessed, or that she has some sort of alter ego called Daymare Sun. The Queen has never referred to herself as such though, and in fact actively discourages ponies from spreading rumors like that."
Luna swayed on her hooves for a moment, then buckled and turned around. She muttered a halfhearted thank you to the surprised Old Pony and rushed out of the hut, back into the bright sunlight. There were perhaps other questions she might have asked, other important matters to consider, but for the moment, she just wanted to get out of there.
She galloped away at random, holding back tears, not even minding where she was going. A painful mixture of different feelings was swirling around in her chest. She felt at a loss on how to handle this, what to think, how to cope. It was hard to think even straight. Rationally speaking, she knew that the Princess Luna who'd lived and died in this world was not her, that she'd been another individual entirely. At the same time though, she knew without the shadow of a doubt that it could have been her, if things had gone differently. Distinguishing them was difficult.
There had once been a time when Luna had been terribly afraid that her sister was going to kill her, but the matter of her mortality was not something she felt she had ever resolved. The thought that she might come across her own dusty bones disturbed her, but that wasn't even the worst of it. Knowing that this entire world and everything wrong with it was a monument to her failure was something else entirely. Whereas Celestia had managed to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat the evil Nightmare Moon, Luna had fallen short in her mission to save the world from Daymare Sun, and died. How many species had gone extinct when the ecosystem had collapsed? How many thinking beings had died in the wars? How many ponies had been killed for trying to resist? And how many still lived under the thrall of a tyrant, not even knowing that they could have been living full and happy lives in freedom, peace and harmony?
It was, all of it, Luna's fault as well – and that burned her more than the heat of the sun ever could. The sheer scope of it was hard to grasp. How was she supposed to deal with the weight of it all?
Underneath, in her heart of hearts, Luna even felt a touch of a sickening sense of triumph, mixed with familiar shameful jealousy. The fact that a world without her was a horrible, desolate wasteland was, in a sense, incontrovertible proof that she mattered. But that was the thing, wasn't it? While the absence of Luna and her moon brought about a decline, it didn't cause the death of everything in all the land like the disappearance of Celestia and her sun would have. It was clear who the more important one of the two was, was it not?
Luna almost wanted to laugh. Worrying over her place in the cosmos was such a ridiculously petty concern, especially in light of the suffering ordinary ponies went through. She hated herself for being such a pathetic crybaby. Acting hysterical like that should have been beneath her, but she simply didn't have Celestia's uncanny self-control; she couldn't help it.
Luna didn't get very far into the countryside before slowing down her pace and gradually coming to a halt. She sighed and looked around, blinking her eyes to clear the tears from them. She had ended up next to a large, half-empty field of carrots, with stalks of corn visible further away. A familiar-looking patch of pines was visible on the next hill over, indicating that she was still close to Sandy and Sweet Potato's cottage. Feeling rather drained, Luna flapped her wings and rose up into the air to quickly get back to bed and forget about everything for a while. There was no way that she wanted to face her hosts right now, but odds were that they had left to go to work by then.
As she was soaring, Luna's gaze accidentally drifted towards the sun. Looking at it made her flinch, and not simply because she didn't like what she saw. She knew nature, and could sense exactly how unnatural the sun's power was. It wasn't just radiating sunshine and fire, but also an evil magic that seemed frightfully familiar to her. The longer she let her gaze linger on it, the more her impressions deepened of some vast intelligence staring back at her, of not being alone, of furious screams echoing inside her head...
With a start, Luna realized that she wasn't imagining it. The screaming was real; she could hear it. It seemed to come from the cottage ahead of her: her destination.
Frowning, Luna sped up and touched down before the cottage. Its door – the same one Luna had repaired previously – had been knocked off its hinges and was now lying on the ground, a large crack running through it. Several voices sounded from inside. Luna stepped into the doorway. The scene that unfolded before her made her blood boil.
The dining table had been tossed upside down, the dishes broken into pieces on the floor. Wingspan was cowering in the corner, a small trail of blood running from his nose. There was an earth pony soldier standing before him. Another one was beating on an unconscious Sweet Potato, already battered and bruised. Two more were menacing Sandy, who was backing away in stiff, twitchy movements, her face face contorted into a fearful grimace. All of the soldiers were saying something or other, whether they were shouting angrily or speaking in quiet mockery. Luna couldn't make out what they were saying in the confusion, beyond hearing one of them call Sandy a whore. It didn't matter. She didn't care what they had to say. She didn't bother demanding an explanation either.
Quivering with silent rage, Luna took a step forward and raised her wings, blocking off most of the light from the doorway and causing the room to dim. This was enough to catch the soldiers' attention. Each of them turned to face her, but before they had a chance to react, Luna's shadow stretched forward on the floor, growing clearer and darker, swirling and spreading like a living thing. Once it touched their hooves, the soldiers were caught in it, unable to move. Luna plucked them from where they stood and dragged them towards her, away from their victims. One of them whinnied fearfully, another gave a wheezy scream of his own. Luna stepped back out the door, drew them out after her and tossed them in the air. The shadow retreated back into the approximate shape of a pony and reared.
One of the soldiers went rolling down the hillside. The other three were picking themselves up from their harsh landing. Luna jumped on the closest one, knocked the helmet off his head and pounded down on his face until he stopped moving. Even seeing red, her mind completely blank, she held back her full strength so she only ended up knocking him unconscious. Without pausing to take a breath, she took aim at the next one and fired off a spell. The flare of black light burst out of her horn and struck the soldier in the chest. The soldier, somewhat protected by his golden armor, was left staggering backwards in a daze. A few more shots and he collapsed to the ground.
The third one was more prepared. He reached down with his mouth and pulled a short sword from a scabbard on his chest, then made a mad dash to get to her before she could get him. Luna deflected the sword with her horn and slammed her forehoof into the soldier's chest, but he had strength enough to shrug that off. His next slash, Luna ducked. This gave her the opening to buck him to kingdom come. The soldier's jaw shattered under her horseshoes. Luna – panting heavily, though more from anger than exertion – was left staring at him writhing on the ground in pain. Somehow, it didn't seem like punishment enough for hurting a child.
There was still one left – the one who had gotten separated from the others. When Luna scanned the hillside for him, she found him galloping away in fright. Luna took to the air and swooped after him. It took her mere seconds to catch up.
"Face me, you coward!" she yelled.
The soldier stumbled on the uneven terrain and went sprawling before Luna could even do anything. Luna came down on top of him and pressed him against the ground roughly, but before she could incapacitate this fourth bastard, she noticed more soldiers approaching. Two infantryponies and an officer were coming to their comrade's aid. Luna growled in frustration. She hadn't thought this through at all, had she?
The new arrivals were confused and frightened. They didn't understand what they were up against. Luna wasn't sure what to do about them, but unicorn officer made that decision for her when she ordered an attack. Both of the earth pony soldiers pulled out their own swords and split up to get to either side of Luna. The officer gouged out some sort of whistle and blew it. Luna had no patience for this, and tried to communicate that.
"I'm not the bad guy here, you fools!"
The group was warily edging closer. Luna had to swing her head around from one side to another to keep sight of them. More of them were coming as well, over the crest of another nearby hill. The one underneath Luna's hooves feebly tried to crawl free, so she kicked him.
"Stay away if you know what's good for you!"
They wouldn't listen. They were just moments from attacking. This was going all wrong...
"I said... stay away!"
Luna got rid of the soldiers surrounding her by teleporting them away, all the way to the other side of the settlement. She needed more time to think, but it was no use. The next group of reinforcements was much bigger – an entire contingent. It looked like every soldier in the vicinity was coming for her.
Luna was going to make them disappear as well, but it wasn't just soldiers that were coming. There were at least a dozen village ponies among them, chained together by leashes around their necks. They were being led by the mad commander Luna had seen earlier. She stomped ahead of the other, but slowed down the closer she got to Luna until she finally came to a halt opposite her. Upon seeing Luna's wings, horn, mane and shadow, the colonel's expression had turned to one of shock.
"What are you?" she demanded.
"What are these ponies doing here?" asked Luna in turn, nodding towards the villagers.
"Them? They're suspicious persons that I've placed under arrest!"
"On what charges?"
The colonel hesitated. Luna doubted that she could even describe whatever paranoid logic drove her to go this far with her "inspection." She had been gravely mistaken in thinking that this delusional madmare wouldn't be a danger to anypony. What would happen to them now, if Luna didn't do something?
"I don't have to justify myself to you, freak!" said the colonel, "I ask again: what are you? And what are you doing with my subordinate?"
"Help me, sir, please!" cried the pony under Luna.
She kicked him again. "Shut your mouth, worm!"
Luna didn't even try to calm herself down. She stood tall and proud and fixed the colonel with a glare.
"You want to know what I am?" she asked, "Well, I'll tell you! I am your rightful lord and master; I am your Princess! And if you do not obey me, I will be your worst nightmare! The conduct of the troops under your command is reprehensible, and their behavior reflects a failure in leadership on your part! Consider yourself relieved of duty! I will take charge myself!"
The colonel stared at her in disbelief, and some of her forces started murmuring amongst themselves. Luna heard some of what they were saying: "looks like the Queen," "what did she do," "insane," "look at her hair," "demon." Finally, the mare in charge started shaking her head, too flabbergasted even to laugh. In fact, she seemed to be getting angrier. Without looking at her forces, she gave them a single, simple command.
"Bring me her head!"
Luna wasn't certain, but she had the impression that Equestria had just declared war on her.
Turn 13
Things had... escalated.
Luna had never meant for things to go this for. She had never meant for any of this to happen at all, but now the die was cast and Luna had to see how it landed.
She had been fighting for hours now, with hoof and magic both. Pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies alike had thrown themselves at her, but they'd bitten off more than they could chew. Luna had defeated them all. The mad commander herself had been taken care of easily enough, and her captives freed and sent home. Luna had also checked up on Sandy and Sweet Potato to make sure they were all right, and imprisoned the four soldiers that had tried to harm them, though in truth, she had no idea what to do with the villains now.
These things accomplished, she had flown all across Hillside and driven out any and all troops in it. Then she had moved on to the dead city of the griffons, where she had done the same. She was still there now, scouring the streets of strays. Few of the soldiers resisted anymore; most simply left the city behind and escaped. Before Luna knew it, the place had been hers.
By this point, Luna had calmed down, more or less, and granted that she had probably overreacted a little. Even though the ironclad certainty that had driven her actions was starting to fade, she didn't really feel bad either. The thing that had been guiding her was pure protective instinct. True, she could have flown away, escaped, avoided conflict – but that would have meant having the leave Hillside at the mercy of these barbarians.
Not a single soul had been killed in the course of her rampage, not even those desperate few that had grasped her motives and tried to use the villagers as hostages. She did not fault all of them for the actions of a few, but it was obvious by now that the presence of the battalion might have been quite a bit more than a slight disruption in the villagers' daily lives. They were a threat. Luna had rectified that... but it wasn't enough.
Luna didn't feel tired, weak, lethargic or feeble any longer. Her sorrow and self-pity were forgotten for now, burned out by a righteous anger she had not felt in an eternity. For the first time since her arrival in this world, she felt exhilarated and alive. It might have been because she had done the right thing. She had needed something like this, something to snap her out of her funk. Rather than feeling bad about what her counterpart in this world had failed to do in the distant past, she had to work out what she could do right in the here and now. She'd spent enough time hiding and avoiding responsibility when there was so much for her to do, such a great many things that had to be fixed.
Luna truly believed that ponies were good by nature. They didn't do bad things but for bad influence, and an unfit commanding officer was neither the beginning nor the end. That's why Luna had to go directly for the source of the problem. The first thing that had to be corrected was Daymare Sun.
Next chapter: Justice, Like Lightning...
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...update O.o
1.bp.blogspot.com/-QBoMLH6EvAY/TliCTVd9FgI/AAAAAAAAARk/m1XoRzXzIpg/s1600/5353.awww+yeah.jpg
Mm, I can't help but agree with you on the worst chapter thing. It's actually quite hard to describe why too... Could be that for half or more of the chapter we are taken out of this war and brought to Luna having no idea where she is with no idea what's going on and doing nothing about it. Although in your defense the remaining half was very well done. You portray Luna's reasons for wanting to take down Daymare well. Eagerly awaiting the next.
Oh yea, Luna the badarse!
One sister has declared open war. One sister is doing espionage.
I'm a fan of action scenes myself, and it wasn't until I read that you had not liked this chapter that I began to consider the previous chapters in comparison to this one. Perhaps it feels a bit...hollow...because there's less build-up in comparison with the others. Where your other chapters were a walk to a trot, Luna goes from walk to run to a hurricane of anger. Not that I hold it against her, of course. I'd have shown much less restraint than she did.
-
For a bit there, I thought you'd died.
A question that's been buzzing in my mind for a bit: The bears that you mentioned in that earlier chapter (I think it was the first>) when the mirror was still intact, were they the Care Bears?
116046 Correction: One sister is doing espionage. The other had war declared on her.
Somepony just got a serious boost to the perk One Mare Army.
I must say that I enjoyed this chapter. It was a bit slower than other chapters, but it wasn't slow-paced. Makes no sense, but I'm saying it anyways. There were a few misspellings here and there, but overlook-able in the long run. Luna needs to use her RCV more often. FUS RO DAH!!!
Can't wait for update!
Ivanna see Twi and Day meet. Maybe get some light/light action, eh? Let's see who's the better fighter. And of course, Spike's evil opposite. I wanna see that, too. 
West Lander, signing off.
This was a good Chapter, not the best but pretty good. Nice to catch up with Luna and see her be badass.
116214
Yes, how well that emotional evolution works is one of my main concerns with this chapter.
If you like action scenes, you can look forward to the next chapter. I'm hoping to cook up a pretty substantive set piece there.
But anyway, yes, those were Care Bears. It seemed so... fitting. I'm surprised no one's done a crossover (or have they?)
116264
Rest assured, Twilight and Daylight is going to be a big thing eventually. Our heroes will have to work their way up to that though.
Buck yeah, pony time
I "hate" the chapter simply because Luna is a mess in it,but in the end she got a goal and i really hope she wont have more of this self pitty issues that reduce her to a sleep/eat rotation.
Shes probably cant match Evil Celestia head on,but with kicking a whole army around she will hear about Luna...
I wonder if she can shapeshift like her sister and name herself Woona...
I don't see any problem. I'd actually say this might be my favorite chapter. I had been a bit frustrated and worried about Luna being MIA, and this seems to me like a satisfying turn-around of that situation. She gets back in the story in a big way! Also, I like the way Luna was handled, in terms of the action and her abilities.
The other fun thing is, now Daymare will be alerted and should get involved, instead of merely lurking in the shadows (ironically) of this story. And even though Luna's actions in this chapter may not seem productive, she could actually be quite helpful in distracting Daymare's attention away from the rest of our heroes.
116671
Seem right for Luna's reaction to me; she was prone to mood swings in the show.
While I agree that this may not have been the "best" chapter is was a very good one. you don't have to have each chapter "better" than the last, Because it will eventually ruin the ongoing story. A "Spacer" chapter is needed to occasionally to make a good great story into one made of pure Epic.
+ Still well written
+ Still interesting
+ Introduces missing PoV
+ Does so almost flawlessly I sure as hay couldn't do better.
+ Errors few in number
- took long to update
Still pumping grad A stories like a boss, please keep it up a wait is often worth it and in this instance i believe it was.
A bit late to the party but... meh:
"...seeing as how she had
always failed to find her place even in her own world." - these have an awkward break between them.
"...painful for most any other living being was was not even an inconvenience to her." - what what?
"...though it was natural enough if she thought about." - "about it" ?
"She didn't come across a single pone on the way until she finally reached Middlehill." - "pony"?
"They were so in tune with each other seemed to understand each other..." - missed a "that they seemed to" ?
"...twitchy movements, her face face contorted into a fearful grimace." - her face has a face?
*note* Apologies if any of those are false alarms - simply disregard those.
As for the chapter...
I can see how you might see it as your worst chapter so far;
It did feel a bit slow and the way Luna finds out about the realm's history isn't exactly as epic as I imagined.
But I ignored all of that and enjoyed this chapter a lot more then the others for one simple reason - Luna!
Wonder if we'll see her leading the griffon army at some point...
But anyway - cheers for another lovely chapter!
~F~
Urgh, I'm starting to suffer from impatience for the next chapter. I hate when this happens, because I don't want it to be rushed (and therefore also am kind of conflicted about commenting this) but I just am so "pleasehaveanewchapterpleasehaveanewchapterpleasehaveanewchapter"ish. D:
Oh, and please take the hint in the middle and don't let my impatience actually affect your schedule, this is just my release of pent-up emotions regarding this fic. Just take it as a compliment basically. You can expect one of these every month or two based on the impression I've gotten from my own analysis of the subject (admittedly based off of only one example and therefore very unreliable).
217020
Oh, trust me, your impatience is NOTHING compared to my own.
I have a bit over 8,000 words on the page at the moment. I want to get it out within a few days.
A "turn" is usually used to refer to one rotation of the Earth, therefore, one regular day. That's what I thought you meant. It wasn't clear until I read the AN, and it's never good to have something only clear in the AN.
"I'm not the bad guy here, you fools!"
I would have thought, Luna would be using something less modern vernacular of a speech, especially in her most erratic state. It doesn't have to be forcedly archaic, something like "Shut your mouth, worm!" is alright, better than what could have been, like "Shut up, worm!" A "Silence, vermin!" sounds less vernacular but not quite archaic: it is what I would have written, imo.
In short: I thought the use of the words "bad guy" was really weird. Luna is one who used the word "miscegenation", for chrissakes.
I'm not quite sure why you say this is your worst chapter up to this point. Personally, I couldn't help but see it as brilliantly executed. The atmosphere of the first half of the was undeniable hollow, dreary and listless... but the point of fact is, it was all from Luna's perspective, and this is all exactly how she was feeling anyways. Whether intentional of not, I felt that it added a lot to the actual experience and understanding of the character.
And later, she stands up to the soldiers and protects the ponies that need it, she finally feels alive again, just as the story picks up pace. Everything becomes faster, and stronger, and more engaging, just as she snaps out of her funk. Remarkably done.
And I think I've figured it out. Purpose. That's whats got Luna so down. Suddenly being in a world where there is no moon, her one true calling in life, she is left bereft of any feeling of purpose. She becomes listless and depressed, and doesn't even want to get out of bed. And when she finally does something, and stands up to the soldiers when nopony else could, she finally feels useful again. She regains purpose, and her depression vanishes.
The execution is brilliant and the subtlety masterful. I believe I shall be following this story even more closely from now on. Consider this my official "Seal of Approval".
~Signed, InfinteBrony
Also damn, Luna. You go, Princess.
Things have escalated quickly here...
Also, I think, we found Fluttershy
Poor Luna, fate is just not kind for her.
IN her world she failed as Nightmare Moon twice ( first facing banishment for 1000 years, and next her nightmare moon part was broken into shards of her body ), and she think that if she would succed, equestria would die, and to add, she was almost forgotten complitly by Ponies when Celestia was center of attention and love of her subjects ( Luna was villan and Celestia was the good one, at last it was how she think it was ).
And in this world when it is all in reverse where Celestia was the bad one and Luna was the good one, Luna failed, was killed, forgotten, and not only Celestia created endless day, but she also did not killed everythink, instead she went for world domination ( clishey, but she is actualy a villan who is succeding in it, because lrobably all who tryed to take over the world usualy fail ).
It is totaly screwed up for Luna, no matter do she is villan or hero, she is alwais the not importand forgotten princess and Celestia is the most importand center of attention, no matter do as kind ruler or as tyrant.
I m not sure what chances Luna have without moon support ( moon was destroyed, and Celestia is more powerful than ever ), but she totaly need to do somethink importand, she was a secound potato for far to long.
And on side note: if Celestia managed to find a way to keep eternal day and not kill her subjects, it is only fair to asume that Nightmare Moon knew a way to keep subjects alive under eternal night, I mean, unless you make Nightmare Moon a evil bying who want to destroy all live ( she was not, she just tryed to make subjects love her ), or stupid bying unable to find out that eternal night = no corps and cold = death ( the idea of stupid Nightmare Moon and stupid Luna is totaly not right and not fair ), I say Nightmare Moon had to have plan to keep her subjects alive just like evil Celestia had.
You forgot the 'i' for 'ponie'
I can defeintly see why you wanted me to keep on at it for reviewing - with Luna you've found yourself a tricksy piece of writing to accomplish.
Where you say worst chapter, I say most different. I will totally confess to being a Luna fan - In fact, this chapter surprised me with a few parallels to my own Luna fic. We've even written her in similiar characterization
. That said, I can see why you might consider this chapter the roughest edged thus far.
The chapter spends a great deal of its time inside Luna's head and feelings. Being a heart lead person is a solid contrast to Celestia's personality, which not only works well, but makes a good feeling of being believable too.
Certain things seemed to be glossed over, as if you didn't want to draw attention to them at all because of being unsure how to write them. How Luna actually got there from her descent, and how the first meeting with the family went - not to say the bypassing of these things is wrong, if anything I prefer the way you've moved it along from that, but it does make for a finicky work of context. The stream of her thoughts and emotions, while enrichening, have a tone apart from the rest of the story, and leave things a bit undefined. Early and more prominent dialogue within the house might have done better here, but in any regards you managed it quite well.
Old Pony - I feel you didn't give him a name for the sheer reason that being Mr. Unavoidable Yet Necessary Exposition Dumper, he didn't deserve one. His existence was entirely unnecessary, and everything he said could have been done with the dialogue I mentioned. In my first review, where I menioned changes from the streamlined formula can come with tumors and ulcers and the like - Old Pony was one of those. Had it been Sweet Potato or Sandy who knew the old myth, or even found a shred of it or something at Luna's behest, his service to the story would become entirely redundant.
Chapter tone - I think I mentioned it somewhere here...but I just rememebred it now. Again, Luna brings with her a bit of uncertainty - at the chapter start there's an outright mention of a suicidal tendency and a quite desparing note, and from there it seems her relative emotional state and relation with it all shifts up and down the idealism/cynicism scale - not by a great degree, mind you - but a little, enough to make me wonder where the intention to do so ends and the writing uncertainty began to show. (Writing Luna is hard, I know. Especially in this circumstance)
The battle - There was something that just felt a little disjointed here, and it irks me that I can't pin down just quite what it is. Maybe there's a certain trait of thoughtless to it? Luna gets riled up, they fight her, she fights them, more come, she beats them, suddenly she's more or less in control of a small yet significant area and population. Certainly not a single one of the ponies involved or witnessing that have much of a clue what just happened or what it means.
All in all, I wouldn't say there's anything explicilty wrong with this chapter, but I'd hazard to say you weren't as confident writing Luna as you've been everything else so far. She's a character that brings a lot, a great many lot of possibilities to change the course and way of how the story goes, but that goes hand in hand with all the great many lot of possibilities of changig it to a way you don't actually want it to go, or even one that diverts the entire story altogether. A wild card, she is. One that could make sense starting a Lunar Rebellion, or going straight to Daymare, or running, being a champion or a villian or anything in between.
I am curious is to see where you take her, and what is wrought in the wake of her passing.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!
]That escalated quickly
I loved what Luna did in this chapter! If she was anything other than brilliant in battle I would have been disappointed.
You have FLUFFY SUPPORT for what Luna did here. IT IS OFF THE CHAIN and I wish there was a picture of Luna I could use to celebrate it.
...I think I can send you one tomorrow though
This is exciting.
I am not sure I agree with you. I though this was a great chapter. There is no better way to get Luna out and about than this, and it really highlights an aspect of her character that very few show.
I liked it.
Have to agree with some people about Luna's dialogue though. "I am not your foe!" instead of "I'm not the bad guy!" and stuff like that.
Other than that, I like how you show Luna being immensely powerful and actually holding herself back while still attaining a relatively easy victory. If anything, it really goes to show how powerful Daymare Sun must be, and why rebellions in the past have failed.
What, through the Toxic Jungle?
Lullaby for a Princess, perhaps?
Although I don't hate this chapter, I agree that this is the weakest so far. For me it has a lot to do with Luna's characterization. The more you tried to develop her character, the more "off" she is compared to the four and a half seasons of canon characterization we have now. For instance, this chapter presented a golden opportunity for her to use the Royal Canterlot Voice. She also should have been able to contact Celestia or Twilight through their dreams. Even without the dreamwalking, though, it seems like a bit of a stretch that Luna and Tia still haven't managed to contact each other in, what, 6 days? They are two of the most powerful beings in the world, after all.
Besides that, it seemed a little OOC for her to use brute force against the soldiers, even in defense of her new friends. Shooting spells at them would seem more like her style. The only part I really liked was Luna's righteous indignation over the mistreatment of and misinformation about the earth ponies.
It wasn't your fault, but this chapter was a perfect example of why I usually avoid reading old fanfics that involve Luna. I'll keep reading, but I'll probably skim the Luna segments from now on.
(I wish there was a Luna emoticon.)
Even ignoring that, this chapter also dragged down the story, as it jumped from preparing to rescue Dash to waiting for Luna to catch up with everything. The only useful information we learned was about the Griffons.
Sorry if I sound too negative. I'll just move on and hope that I can praise the next chapter.
there is an unnecessary space in this paragraph mid sentence.
pony
did you mean Oldpony? is or that a statement that all ponies are difficult to catch awake?
repeated the word face
6745527 that last one makes me think of asdfmovie and punching faces in the face
This chapter is very compelling. It is an excellent exploration of Luna's mindset. She is in character, feeling guilt and sadness but also showing a determination to protect and a confidence in her strength and standing. This:
truly shows her experience as someone centuries old with experience as a leader. While this:
captures the spirit of the Royal Canterlot Voice, with her following actions showing her dedication to protecting ponies. I found the chapter riveting.