The Bunny Suit and Other Silly Stories

by BrassHeart

A Feeling Of Loss

Story the Third:

A Feeling Of Loss

"Oh, I must have put it somewhere around here," Rarity griped, rummaging through another drawer, tossing odds and ends out as she looked for her lost item.

Her best pair of fabric scissors. Twilight had given them to her for her previous birthday, and while they looked shabby, they were enchanted so that they always cut in perfectly straight lines and right angles. And now Rarity couldn't find the cursed things.

"Of all the things that could have possibly happened..." She said, raising a hoof to her forehead. "This is..."

She reached out to the corner of the room with her magic, where her best fainting couch resided. She dragged the couch over, preparing to throw herself into the couch's plush embrace. "The... worst... POSSIBLE... THING!" And she threw herself off her hooves, not even bothering to make sure her couch hadn't been replaced with, say, a hard wooden bench.

Because it had been.

Replaced with a bench, I mean.

Rarity hit the bench with a painful smack. A second later, she rolled off, landing on the floor with a dangerous twitch in her eye. A piece of paper that had been on the bench was stuck on her face, written in Sweetie Belle's easily recognized atrocious hoofwriting.

IOU ONE COUTCH

AND ONE PAIR OF SCIZORS

"SWEETIE BEEEELLLLEEE!"

"Step right up, step right up! Come see the amazin' Faintin' Couch!" Apple Bloom barked to the passerby.

"The only one of its kind! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll wonder how a couch can be so soft!" Scootaloo added, bouncing on the red cushions.

"And it can be yours for the low, low price of ten bits! If we priced it any lower, we'd be giving it away!" Sweetie Belle shouted.

"C'mon, everypony! Dontcha wanna help three lil' fillies get their couch sellin' cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked. None of the passerby paid any attention to the three fillies.

"Buy now and we'll even throw in this free pair of scissors for free! They're very snippy!" Sweetie Belle added, levitating a pair of plain-looking scissors.

"Sweetie Belle, you just said it was free twice," Scootaloo pointed out.

"I did?"

"Yeah!"

"Huh."

"SWEETIE BELLE!" Came an angry yell. Sweetie Belle lost her concentration on the scissors when she recognized the voice, dropping them to the ground. Rarity was barreling straight at them from the other end of the street, rage in her eyes and froth on her mouth. All three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders gulped.

"Ah don't think she liked the IOU!" Apple Bloom said.

"Run already!" Scootaloo said, hopping off the couch and onto her scooter. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom climbed into the wagon behind it, and Scootaloo's tiny wings started buzzing faster than they ever had before. The Crusadermobile scooted off at breakneck speeds, the raging fashion designer charging after them, not paying any attention to the couch or scissors. She was too preoccupied with thoughts of revenge.

A few minutes later, a single pegasus alighted on the ground in front of the couch, her misaligned eyes lit up with wonder.

"Oooooh!" Derpy Hooves said. "Free sofa! I love free sofa day!" Then she noticed the pair of scissors on the ground next to the sofa. "And it's free scissors day, too? This is almost as good as free muffin day!"

A/N: This story was suggested by outlaw4rc, who should totally return my calls.

Comments

[LewisClarke]

Very amusing. All three of them! Cool short stories! Now have some stars.

[Silent Storms]

All were quite good, will you be uploading more to this story? Or posting separate short stories when you come up with them?

[Trinary]

These stories are all very cute and very funny! Please write more! Bravo!

[Arthtrott]

How simply rude of outlaw, darling.

[BrassHeart]

I have noticed that I have a prodigious amount of followers, but do you know what I really want?
Comments. Crunchy, tasty comments.
See, comments boost my ego. And I get happy when my ego is overinflated. And I write more when I'm happy.
So, comments? Plz?

[MsIkarishipper]

Oh Derpy... XD

[djthomp]

Everyone loves free sofa day!

[BrassHeart]

199702
You only need brain bleach? Crud, I must not be doing my job well enough. You SHOULD be in need of a lobotomy. Let me think, how to make you really shudder...
'Kay, how about this. During Big Mac's and Fluttershy's 'activities', some of the carrots were rendered unfit for pony consumption.
Have fun with that.

[KitsuneNoYomeiri]

204143
Now that's just appetizin- I mean, evil.

o.O
Wonderful little things. Here's a scenario for one I'd like you to try.
Write a second-person narrative (from the point of view of the main character's friend, such as Spike on Twilight's crazy day)

Perhaps from Discord's point of view in the garden? annoying field trip and lamentation after another.

[BrassHeart]

198499
I am a sir. And I prefer 'super-genius'.

[Discontinued]

i think someone i know is stealing from you take this quiz

1. what is your fav pokemon black and white character

2. what is cilan a. a gym leader b. a pokemon c. and cooking ingrediant

3. what is iris' pokemon's name?

4. what do you want to do to the pokemon character cress for no reason?

if you get 1 wrong someone is stealing from you

[BrassHeart]

1079089
Oh, not you again.
What the hell are you talking about. Who's stealing from me? Where?

[Sliverfish]

204143 For some reason that unfazed me..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... What's wrong with me?

[Sky Blazer]

Why is it the end with Derpy was the best bit?

[defunct321]

This was certainly entertaining.