Chapter XVIII
The Prince and the Workhorse
Part XVIII
Thanks to the concerted efforts of Marmalade and Banana Split, Big Macintosh’s name was now Mud among the mares of Ponyville. Apple sales dipped noticeably whenever Blueblood took his shift at the apple stand.
Strangely enough, the number of colts stopping by to pick up apples almost made up for the shortfall. With Big Macintosh eliminated as a focus for female attention, the stallions of Ponyville found the females much more receptive to their attentions. In fact, the next week following Blueblood’s near-total destruction of Big Macintosh’s good reputation saw the sharpest rise of sexual activity in Ponyville since the second backfiring of Twilight’s “Want it, Need it” spell the previous summer.*
Consciously or unconsciously, they knew they had Big Macintosh to thank for their sudden shifts in fortune. Rather, they had Blueblood to thank, but he was generous and let Big Macintosh keep all the credit.
The only mares who came by with any regularity were Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, and they were only there to visit Tombs.
“You know, Tombs, it’s really difficult to get any work done around here with you constantly distracted by your mare-friend,” said Blueblood, busily fumbling to make change for an impatient Pegasus.
“Rest assured, sir, I am well aware of the situation and am making every effort to minimize Miss Pie’s impact on my effica-ah!-cy…” Tombs shot a stern look over his shoulder at Pinkie Pie, who was laying on the ground behind him, batting his tail back and forth between her hooves. At “Miss Pie” she’d given it a sharp yank.
She grinned up at him, eyes wide with innocence.
“Pinkie, stop bothering Tombs, he doesn’t need you buzzing around him every second,” said Rainbow Dash, buzzing down to a four-point landing next to the apple stand. A small cloud drifted down next to her. She’d tied it to her tail with a piece of string like a dog on a lead.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t the type of pony to do anything halfway and, since coming out of the closet, she’d taken her “lesbian” image up to eleven. Today she sported an ear stud and bright pink bandana festooned with gay pride buttons. You didn’t have to be Madame Pinkie to see a flannel shirt in her future.
“I thought you might get tired of standing behind the cart all day, so I brought you something to sit on,” offered Rainbow, untying the cloud from its leash. She shoved Pinkie aside and set the little cloud behind Tombs, fluffing it up like a cushion.
Tombs looked back at it.
“That’s very thoughtful, Miss Dash, but I don’t think…”
“Go on, try it out! There’s nothing softer!” said Rainbow Dash, planting her hooves on Tombs’s chest and giving a hearty push. Tombs collapsed backwards, his flank passed right through the cloud and hit the cobblestones with a loud “thwack!”
Rainbow Dash gasped.
“Ohmygosh! I’m so sorry! I forgot you couldn’t sit on clouds!”
Tombs stood and dusted himself off, wincing a little from his bruised behind.
“That’s quite alright, Miss Dash. I appreciate the gesture, but-”
“No, lemme help you! Here…” Rainbow turned around and swatted at Tombs’s flank with her tail, accidentally knocking several apples off the cart and sending them rolling helter-skelter across the square.
“Oh!” yelped Rainbow, watching the apples tumble on the cobblestones “Lemme get those!”
“Don’t trouble yourself, ma’m. I shall retrieve them,” said Tombs.
Tombs picked up an apple with his magic at the exact moment Rainbow Dash grabbed it with her teeth. There was a brief struggle before Blueblood extended a tree trunk-like foreleg and stopped both of them.
“I’ll get them,” he said, stomping out into the square. He’d had enough of these shenanigans.
Rainbow Dash was overcome with remorse for nearly killing Tombs, and her efforts to square things between them were proving nearly as fatal. Even several days after his release from Ponyville Hospital, she was still hanging around, bringing gifts or trying to do small favors for him. The previous day, she’d snuck up to Sweet Apple Acres with a tray of breakfast, but it was ice cold from the flight over. Tombs choked it down anyway, but even his stalwart patience was beginning to wear thin. Blueblood’s had run out long ago and chasing these apples around was about to be the last straw…
Rainbow Dash knocked a whole bushel off the cart.
“Sorry!” her voice echoed in the square “My bad!”
Blueblood was sure any second now his ears would erupt with steam like a boiling kettle. He dropped the apple he had in his mouth and took a deep breath, about to shout what had been on his mind all morning.
“Oh, let me get that,” a clear voice rang like a little bell beneath Blueblood’s chin. He looked down into a pair of deep blue eyes.
“Eulalie!” he exclaimed, choking back the string of curses he’d been about to unleash at Rainbow Dash.
She smiled.
“I’m glad you remember my name, I was beginning to think you’d forgotten all about me.”
Blueblood shuffled his hooves. She was pouting, but she didn’t seem too upset.
“I’m dreadfully sorry. I didn’t forget about you. Things have been difficult these past few days…” said Blueblood, looking back over at the Applecart, where Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were now fighting a fierce tug-of-war with Tombs playing the part of the rope.
“Difficult for you?” Eulalie groaned dramatically “What about me? Bored out of my mind at the shop, with nopony to keep me company! Long, long days, working round the clock, only stopping briefly to stagger back to my cold, empty bed and rest…”
Blueblood cleared his throat.
“Surely, business can’t be that bad…” he said.
“It’s not really…” said Eulalie “But I am a bit surprised that you never took me up on my invitation. I’ve learned you have quite a reputation among the mares here and when sompeony I’ve heard as much about as you doesn’t stop by, it makes a filly feel like she’s not wanted.”
She pouted her lips, prancing in front of him and tickling his nose with her tail.
“If you’re really familiar with my reputation, I’m surprised you’re even talking to me,” said Blueblood.
Eulalie waved her hoof “Oh, the mares here are so old-fashioned. You mustn’t let their tragically parochial sensibilities dictate how you choose to live your life. A stallion as big-spirited as you shouldn’t be tied down to anypony… If this were somewhere sophisticated, like Canterlot, you’d live like a prince!”
Blueblood coughed.
“Well…”
“Honestly, I’m surprised somepony as well spoken as yourself is wasting his life at an apple stand when you could be so much more!”
“Well… I am suddenly developing an interest in the lingerie business.”
“Really?” Eulalie’s eyes widened in mock surprise.
“Quite,” answered Blueblood.
“Well, follow me!” she turned to leave. Blueblood followed her swaying flank out the square and down Saddle Street.
Back at the apple cart, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie kicked up a cloud of dust as they wrestled over which of them should stop bothering Tombs first.
***
Big Macintosh was out on a date with Twilight Sparkle. This would be their third. They hadn’t kissed yet, but Big Mac hoped to work up the courage before the end of the date. The annual Ponyville Cloud Sculpting competition was that afternoon. The event drew Pegasus talent from all over Equestria and was as entertaining for spectators as it was for participants.
They’d rented a boat at Ponyville Lake and Big Macintosh rowed them lazily across the still water. Near the middle of the lake was a small island with a romantic little gazebo at the center that would be the perfect place to watch the competition. Big Mac thought it would also be the perfect place for a first kiss.
As the little boat glided across the lake, fish leaped into the sky to catch low-flying bugs while the sleek silhouettes of squids slithered by underneath.
“This was a wonderful idea, Blueblood,” said Twilight, lounging at the bow and looking down with fascination at the dark shapes that swam below. She wanted to sit closer to Big Mac, but every time she inched closer, the tiny craft would teeter precariously. Big Mac silently chided himself for his lack of foresight.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take over? I could cast a spell to keep the oars going,” offered Twilight.
“Nnope,” said Big Mac, hauling over another stroke. The hoof-loops on the oars were several sizes too small, and he fumbled with them constantly. It made rowing awkward and exhausting, even with the Prince’s body in as good shape as it was, but he wouldn’t suffer the embarrassment of making his date do any work on his behalf.
By the time they reached the island, Big Mac was ready to keel over. The boat slid up the embankment and Twilight leaped off the bow, landing daintily in the soft grass. Big Mac tumbled out after her. He’d worked hard every day of his life and it had been a long time since he’d felt so exhausted.
“Don’t forget the picnic basket!” Twilight called, already at the gazebo. He took the basket in his teeth and staggered up the tiny hill to where Twilight waited.
“Looks great! I’m starving!” she said, licking her lips. She cast some quick spells and the basket disgorged its contents so that they could arrange themselves in an organized fashion. Big Mac tried to help, but his magic was still clumsy and only ended up interfering with her carefully woven spells.
“Really, Blueblood, I’ve never seen a unicorn so deft with his hooves, but so awkward when it came to magic,” she laughed.
Big Mac blushed.
“I mean, it’s not that bad, I’m just surprised the nephew of the Princess didn’t learn better,” she added, noting Big Mac’s self-consciousness.
Big Mac nodded.
“The lake looks really lovely. This was a great idea…” said Twilight, changing the subject.
They dug into the food and watched the ducks swimming across the water as they ate. Twilight talked for a long time about how wise and powerful Princess Celestia was, and how much she’d learned.
Big Mac listened quietly, only interrupting when he had a question.
After they finished eating, they lay together on the picnic blanket and watched the pegasi push their clouds into place for the competition. From the ground, the pegasi were barely visible as multicolored specks flitting around between the clouds. Teams of pegasi worked together, expertly shearing and squishing the clouds like mountain-sized blobs of clay.
“Ooh, I think that one’s going to be a dragon!” said Twilight, pointing with her hoof.
“There’s a barn,” said Big Mac, gesturing to a blocky cloud taking shape off to the east.
“That team over there is pretty ambitious, it looks like they’re working with a storm cloud,” observed Twilight.
Indeed, one team of pegasi seemed to have bitten off more than it could chew. They picked timidly at the billowing black cloud, trying to mold it without causing a thunderstorm or a downpour. If one of the sculptors accidentally burst the heavy cloud, it would lose its stiff, marbled appearance and the sculpture would end up a soggy mess.
As the day wore on into the afternoon, the clouds took shape like the topiary of gods. There were all the usual entries; a heart, an elephant, a family of bunnies, and of course the obligatory bust of Princess Celestia. It looked like the Celestia team was working in competition with the stormcloud team, as the thick, black thunderhead was starting to look more and more like Princess Luna.
They really went all out, the colored shapes of the two teams were scarcely more than blurs as they swooped and dove to shape the delicate cloudstuff. The Celestia team wove silky strands of cirrus together to form Celestia’s graceful wings while the Luna team teased ball lighting into place to represent the sea of stars whose shifting tides made Luna’s shimmering mane. For Luna’s tiara, the sculptors carefully nudged into place a tower of cloud so dark and volatile it appeared to be a chunk of onyx, impossibly suspended in the air.
The Celestia team redoubled their efforts, unfurling long banners of rainbow and folding them into jewels that would sparkle and glimmer in Celestia’s necklace, but though the towering bust of Celestia was breathtaking, the sculpture of Luna was still more beautiful. If the Luna team could complete the statue before the time limit, there was no doubt they would win.
Big Macintosh and Twilight watched the competition in silent fascination as it drifted overhead. By now the sky was speckled with discarded chunks of cloud as each of the teams put the finishing touches on their masterpieces, the exhausted sculptors drifting off to rest and admire their hoofwork. Only the Luna and Celestia teams were still going full-bore. By now, both teams were exhausted, but they continued to push themselves to the limit.
“Oh Blueblood, it’s so beautiful,” said Twilight.
Big Mac looked over at her.
They gazed into each others’ eyes.
“Blueblood,” said Twilight, moistening her lips.
“Eeyup?”
“I think…” she drew closer. Big Mac inched himself across the blanket towards her.
“I think…” she said again. Her purple lips parted softly. Big Macintosh leaned in…
“I think that’s our boat,” said Twilight, thrusting her hoof in front of his face and pointing out at the lake behind him.
Big Mac snapped back to reality and rolled over to follow her gesture. Sure enough, their boat had slid down the bank and into the water.
Big Mac leaped to his hooves and galloped down to the edge of the island, splashing into the water after the boat.
“Blueblood, stop!” said Twilight.
He kept going. The water got deep very quickly and soon he couldn’t feel the bottom. The boat was still several yards beyond his reach.
“Blueblood, come back!” Twilight yelled, standing on the edge of the embankment “It’s alright!”
She concentrated and reached out with her magic. Purple energy enveloped the boat and lifted it out of the water. Twilight pulled it back to shore.
Big Mac slapped his forehead and turned to paddle back to Twilight. He dragged himself up onto the bank beneath the levitating rowboat, his coat was all muddy and there was a lily pad in his mane, to say nothing of the fact that he was completely soaking wet.
“Sorry,” he said.
Twilight giggled.
“It’s alright. It was very noble of you to go out after the boat, even if it wasn't necessary,” she smiled “The important thing is, everything’s going to be just-”
A bolt of lightning split the air and blew the boat in half. Big Mac tackled Twilight to the ground, shielding her with his body.
Up above, the sculpture of Luna shuddered. Lightning rained down over the lake like spears of fire. A great gash opened up in Luna’s chin as rain burst forth in gushing torrents. The sculptors could only draw back and watch the tragedy from a safe distance as the magnificent bust crumbled before their very eyes. Even the Celestia team took no joy in seeing the destruction of something so beautiful.
Big Macintosh and Twilight were drenched. They galloped for the gazebo and huddled together under the tiny roof.
“I’m s-s-so sorry about this, T-Twilight…” said Big Mac through chattering teeth.
“It-t-t-t-t’s okay…” Twilight scootched in closer, pressing her body up against Big Macintosh, trying to absorb as much warmth as possible. Big Macintosh put his hoof over her shoulder. She tensed at first, but relaxed and allowed herself to get drawn into the warm space under his powerful chest.
“T-t-t-thanks,” she said, looking up at him, seeming even smaller with her purple coat plastered to her body, her mane hanging heavy and soggy around her shoulders. Big Mac never wanted to kiss her more than he did right then, but he couldn’t move. It was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to become aroused. He was sure that if he did, it would completely ruin the romance of the moment, so he contented himself to sitting there and enjoying the warmth that steamed from her shivering body.
It took nearly an hour for the sculpture to shed all its stored up rain. By the end, the once-magnificent cloud-statue looked like a foal’s clay model from art class.
Big Macintosh and Twilight peeked their heads out of the gazebo and looked up. The last few drops of rain that pattered around them were salty Pegasus tears as the Luna team surveyed the damage.
“That’s so sad…” said Twilight “I hope they have better luck next year.”
She turned to Big Mac.
“Do you want to stay for the judging?”
Big Mac shivered, his skin turning blue beneath his white coat.
“I guess not…” said Twilight. She trotted down to the edge of the water and planted her hooves firmly. Her horn ignited and she sent up a purple flare. Hopefully, the boat rental shop at the edge of the lake would see and send a boat to pick them up. Big Mac sighed. He didn’t get a kiss and his date ended up rescuing him. To top it off, he wouldn’t get his deposit back on the rowboat.
***
Eulalie stretched luxuriously across a bolt of silk while Blueblood panted beside her.
“Aaaaah *eek*” her voice broke into a squeak as she sighed “Big Macintosh, you were amazing. I swear I heard thunderclaps.”
“Me, too,” said Blueblood, basking in the aerobic high of post-coital ecstasy. Eulalie was amazing. Even more amazing, he still remembered her name after sleeping with her.
“Eulalie, Eulalie, Eulalie,” he repeated to himself, feeling the strangeness of her name on his tongue.
“Big, Big, Big,” mocked Eulalie.
“Do you want to do this again?” he asked.
“Oh, absolutely,” she smiled “But first, I need a beer. Want one?”
Blueblood squealed. This looked like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.The End of Part 18…
To Be Continued…
*MLP:FiM S03E15 “Summer of Love” was banned by the networks and can now only be found in private collections -F
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*S03E15 “Summer of Love” was banned by the networks and can now only be found in private collections.
This is instantly the best chapter ever.
This was a wonderful chapter! Poor Big Mac, trying so hard to win Twilight over while Blue Blood ruins his reputation. I can't wait for the next chapter!
This was awesome! I'm so glad you updated. I have absolutely no patience it seems
427991
You should check out my other story: Allen to Ashes, if you haven't already.
Yes, it's on FiMfiction finally!
I can already see everything beginning to fall apart; Celestia's gonna come over there and and deduce what happened with her 1000-year old knowledge.
I also noticed this is now on FIMfiction. I'm used to reading on gdocs and commenting on EQD.
As an author myself, I find it interesting you're already trying to integrate Cadence into your background. It always seemed risky, to me, being anything but vague until her introduction. Regardless, the fic is still quite fun and amusing, and I am still impressed by your dedication to pony-puns and even Zecora's rhyming, aspects I personally dislike having to deal with. Things for the characters are looking sorted out, or in the process of sorting out, but big glaring issue being the body-swap back to normal and a little fallout from that. Naturally, I'll be keeping an eye out.
431249
Princess Cadence is a risky proposition, as her portrayal in the Royal Wedding finale will no doubt undermine any previous portrayals of her in all fanfics to date, similar to what happened with Princess Luna after Luna Eclipsed. That said, I prefer to think of the universe of this fanfic as straddling the line between canon and some sort of Alan Moore-ish re-imagining, so any deviations can be blamed on that. I suspect that Cadence's portrayal in the finale will leave her a blank enough slate that her character in this fanfic will still be able to stand on its own.
i love this story and can't wait for the next chapter!!!!
but quick question......
whats *S03E15 “Summer of Love” if i do ask
433297
S03E15 is an episode production number. In this case, season 3, episode 15 of MLP:FiM. An episode that has not yet aired.
***Spoilers ahead***
S03E15 "Summer of Love" synopsis:
Rarity thinks she's losing her touch with the stallions when Poindexter Milquetoast turns down her offer of a date.
In a desperate move, Rarity asks Twilight for a spell that will make her irresistible.
(TV-M)
433342 hey thanks, i'm not a big fan of the show (yet, still on episode 3) and i'm a fan of your "the prince and the workhorse" works, and can't wait for the next chapter, maybe a hint or clue at the next chapter
So uhm, that was a really nice chapter and all... but why did they cancel making that episode? If it was mlp then it couldn't have been that bad. Haters gonna hate. - MarcusHate&PrejudiceFenix
Okay, Fellstorm, I mean no insult, but I didn't get to the bits with Cadence until after seeing "A Canterlot Wedding," so seeing her with the complete opposite characterization was kinda sorta hilarious. Still interesting, so by all means, continue with it. While the backstory you made for Cadence may not be compatible in the slightest with the show version, it works very well for the Changeling Queen. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Tombs hasn't told Big Mac and Blueblood what Zecora told him about the horseshoes, has he? Any reason why not? Assuming that they aren't spoilers, of course.
498212
I thought the same thing watching the Royal Wedding. I was like "Whelp, there goes the Cadence from my fanfic..."
Then I figured "meh."
I'm going to keep writing her thus, and square her character here as much as possible with her canon personality (provided I can make it feel natural, of course.)
Tombs hasn't told Big Mac and Blueblood about the spell being permanent, largely because other events have conspired to push that revelation to the back burner.
Eulalie, the lingerie designer . . .
Hilarious story! I especially like the rowboat abruptly being blown to bits by lightning.
One and a half indulgences, and that's all it takes. That's a little surprising. Those are some fragile egos.
That's a pretty mild "failure" compared to all the crap he's put up with so far.
Every time Mac makes progress with Twilight, it makes me cringe. The more she likes him, the more it's going to hurt when he finally comes clean. This can't possibly end well.
Besides that, DAMN YOU, Blueblood. Mac has been awesome the entire time and turned his reputation entirely around, while Blueblood has ruined Mac's. And he STILL gets laid while Mac pines desperately for a single kiss.
If there's a lesson here, it's that true love is stupid.