The pages of the news paper fluttered in Vinyl's hooves as the wind picked up. Several days had passed since the experimentation at the spa, and since then the gap that had bridged the mares had been crossed. There were no more longing glances and heated thighs. The uncomfortable setbacks were replaced with hugs and the brush of each others fur without any prior warning, and the occasional passionate kiss.
The white unicorn stilled the thrashing paper with her magic, turning the page softly, listening to the crinkle as it passed. Her eyes constantly scanned the job listings. She sighed, setting it down on the table and pressing her hooves into her cheeks. Everything that was mentioned in the Canterlot news was nothing to the aid of a DJ pony like herself. Jobs that involved music were looking for those with talent over an instrument, and a higher class manner than Vinyl could ever muster.
She was unfortunate to be in a town such as Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, filled with rich ponies and snarky business partners. Vinyl never imagined that the residence of the Princess who strove to understand friendship and kindness would be full of such selective personalities.
Octavia trotted inside, heaving a gusty sigh as she closed the door with one rear hoof. She clasped a rolled up newspaper between her teeth, and she dropped it onto the table and shook out her fur. "I don't know why we get those papers one a week. They're full of things from all over Equestria. Like we'd need to know, right?"
Vinyl nodded, but she was only half paying attention, her hooves sliding through her hair as she thought. She suddenly flicked a glance at the newspaper, then threw herself towards it, the chair legs grinding against the floor as she shoved it backwards. She dragged it towards her and started flipping through the pages, eyes scanning the print as she skimmed by.
She halted somewhere near the end, hooves slamming down on the table as she leaned so close that her warm muzzle almost brushed the page. Tavi pushed her out of the way, frowning deeply. She cast one glance over the page, a look in her eye that almost resembled the skeptical critiquing of all the other Canterlot folk, then scrunched up her nose.
"What's so great about an article on Ponyville? It's such a vulgar town..." She said bitterly, flicking her smooth mane out of her eyes.
Vinyl hissed, eyes wide. "Read it, Tavi! Sugarcube Corner, a place that normal, fun-loving ponies gather with the pony who is the best at parties!"
"What are you trying to say?" She exclaimed, narrowing her eyes.
"You know I don't mean that, Octavia! This could be my chance! Maybe if they let me DJ for them..."
The Earth pony turned away sourly, tears burning in her eyes. She strutted away and stood by the window, her breath clouding up the glass. "I thought we were going to accomplish our dream together?"
"Ponyville is my last chance, Tavi." Vinyl breathed, eyes pleading. "The ponies there will appreciate my music more than Canterlot."
"So you're just going to leave me, go chasing your dreams with the low ponies because I'm too posh for you?" Octavia spat, hanging her head so her hair fell over her eyes.
Fury rose inside of Vinyl, and she snarled, smacking the table with a hoof. "Low ponies? If you don't recall, Octavia, I am one of those ponies! I'm not a Canterlot mare! I don't care for fashion, or manners, or etiquette. Being regal and fancy, and demanding and prude, is not the pony I was born to be!"
"Are you trying to say I'm like everypony else? Just a snob, is that all I am to you?"
"This isn't about you!" Vinyl cried, storming out of the door, the newspaper pulling apart and fluttering all around her. "We promised we'd follow our dreams, and my story does not end in CANTERLOT!"
The door slammed violently behind Vinyl as she fled from the home. The sound of her hoofsteps fading into the distance of the bustling streets gripped at Octavia. The silence that followed seemed to scream at her, and she backed away, tearing into her bedroom and flopping down on her bed, curling into a ball and letting out a strangled wail.
She screamed into a pillow and kicking her legs out feebly, messing up the blankets and roughing up her mane. Pulling the covers tight over her face she grumbled over and over, a cold heavy feeling gripping her heart. Tears began to blotch heavy and warm down her face, causing the fur on her face to clump and ruffle. She groaned and lay against the mattress, heart beating solidly in her chest.
Vinyl sat in the pouring rain at the train station, the water tugging heavily onto her hair and pelt. She looked bedraggled and thin as she waited, thick snobby glares meeting her with every pony that passed. The rain steadily got heavier and colder, the hard droplets pelting her skin. Soon the train pulled up along the tracks and let out a long horn, and the doors shuttered open.
Streaming ahead of the ponies getting aboard, she clambered on, water streaming from her fur like droplets on duck feathers, and galloping straight to the back and sliding into a seat with a squelching sound of her fur against the leather. The soft idle of the of train below her calmed her a little, but inside she was squirming with fear. She regretting storming out on Octavia already, but her view on what she had to do had altered very little.
The doors on the train closed again as soon as everyone was on board. Ponies kept their distance from her, and for the first time she was grateful of it. As the train eased off and began to gain speed on the tracks, she let a few tears escape as she stared out into the rain.
Soon her window had fogged up, and she had to wipe it with her hoof to see back through at the land whizzing past her. Ponyville was in her sights, and it was steadily getting closer, even though there was quite a time before they would arrive. She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning against the glass. The wind rattled the train gently as they plowed along.
The train horn bellowed suddenly, and Vinyl awoke with a jolt, realizing that she had dozed off on the ride. They were at Ponyille station, and the rain had slowed to a drizzle. Shaking her fur out, she stepped out with one other pony, who was wearing a tight rain hood. The pony who had also gotten out of the train hurried off, and Vinyl stared after her.
"Excuse me!" She called, shaking all over.
The pony halted, then turned very slowly to face her. The hood shadowed the mare's lavender purple face. "Yes?" She smiled.
"D-do you know where Sugarcube Corner is?"
The mare smiled, pushing her hood back with a hoof so Vinyl could see her navy mane and unicorn horn, a strip of purple and pink through her hair. "Yes I do! Would you like me to take you there?"
"Yes please!' She breathed, smiling weakly, hopping up to the kind mare. "My name is Vinyl Scratch."
The pony headed off towards the small town, violet eyes shining. "I'm Twilight Sparkle."
Your stories quality seems to be dropping a little bit. It seems like you're rushing to publish fast, instead of ensuring that your story is spectacular.
It's not bad, I just liked the earlier chapters a lot more. Don't take it personally.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed this chapter, and still look forward to when the next is published.
Thankyou my fine fellow,
Fighting_oreo
2283890
I think it's mostly because
1. I use way too much dialogue
2. The first chapters were pre planned. I created the story and got what I'd come up with so far down. Now I'm just making it up as I go along.
Sadly all my stories seem to fall into that pit of useless dialogue-filled... crap.
2284078
Firstly, don't call your stories crap. Ever. If you start calling stories crap, you start believing all your stories are doomed to failure and you stop trying. This then makes your stories crap.
Secondly, dialogue has its place. Too little dialogue is bad too, but I kind of agree that too much dialogue and no other stuff makes Jack a dull story. (If you didn't get it, I feel bad for you). In analogical short using emoticons, is good, is less good.
Thirdly, I think that happens to a lot of writers. In my current story, a minor character somehow became the second main one. The best thing you can do in my opinion, is just roll with it. Become your stories conduit.
If the story has a life of its own, you can be surprised at how it turns out just as much as everyone else.
2284221
I don't intend to have so much dialogue, but I always feel the need for the ponies to converse. And I hate breaking their conversations up to make it sound like they are just standing there silently and making the odd comment about the weather.
When I start thinking about using too much, as I did in the latest chapter, I start to rush it away and round the conversation off a little awkwardly. So, yes, work in progress.
Well, now here's a story to put in the JFF's recommended folder! Like it, faved it, thumbed it up, eagerly waiting for more.
Oh, and welcome to the OctaScratch club.
2317178
I'm glad you liked it so much. I'm writing the next chapter right now, so you'll be in the loop when that is ready!
Certainly a good story, but not great. Feel as if the chapters should be longer as the story progresses far to quickly. Keep on writing, practice makes perfect!