• Member Since 28th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 18th, 2015

The Fool


Ahoy~!

E
Source

At Applejack's wake, Apple Bloom demands to know how Granny Smith, who actually died two centuries ago and has overseen Sweet Apple Acres ever since, is not only still alive but hasn't aged a day during the two decades they've known each other. The answer is fruit.

An Apple a Day is a work of absurdism.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

The description really, really confused me until I decided to just read the fic.

This was...interesting, and the tags certainly fit. It's like some sort of cruel joke; a fruit vampire, hilarious in concept yet tragic in execution.

I think the reason I don't like it is because I'm just so...confused. I don't think it's bad, neither is the idea. It's just so weird, the tragic nature and poetic ending of this fic make me want to take it a bit more seriously, invest a bit more emotional weight into it. But the whole thing just seems too silly for that. I honestly just can't find the feelings to place into this story and just default to shrugging.

Finally a good vampire story. Its been almost a decade since I last read decent one.

2378161

Haha! That, my friend, is exactly the reaction you should have.

2378484

In that case, keep an eye out for Fluttershy, Vampire Hunter, in which I'll deal with classical vampirism.

2378161

Yeah... I only read it because it was added to Equestrian Vampirism

I wouldn't call it comedy, really. Tragedy is a good fit though.

Overall, it's pretty well paced. The transition between past, present and future linked by Granny's words works well.

But for a fiction that starts its description with the concept of Applejack's funeral, you really glossed over it in favor of the Apple Bloom/Sweetie Belle thing - which really came out of left field for me.

All things considered, you made this odd premise work rather well. Good work!

2381488

I'm bad at being intentionally humorous, but the tags make more sense when considered as a single unit: tragicomedy.

I worried the shifts in tense and point of view would throw readers off, so your comment gives me hope that I can apply it to future works.

Granny Smith's narrative focus reflects that she's seen so much death that it ceases to affect her anymore, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle's interracial relationship is an allegory for her situation.

2381621 Tragedy, as pronounced by Fimfiction: :twistnerd:" A Tragedy has a sad ending, but it doesn't mean the story is sad until that point. Unlike a Sad story, it always, always will have a sad or bittersweet ending." This means that the story will be comedic, until the end. Unless, you aren't planning on that, then I'll just leave now. :twilightsheepish:

2382895

My logic was as follows: a drunken fruit-vampire bat biting Granny as an explanation for her unnatural longevity is funny, but the implications are unfortunate. The show's over, though, so feel free to leave whenever.

Truly another one that is completely and utterly you. Beautiful and touching and at the exact same time, totally bizarre.

2462855

Nonsense is a relatively new development in my writing and not an especially popular one. It doesn't seem intent on leaving anytime soon, though, so I'm glad I have an audience for it.

2463758 I freely admit I don't usually adore nonsense but your take on it has completely and utterly sucked me in. I hope it stays for a while.

Well done. Was a little confusing going from flashback to present and vies versa but otherwise very very good.

2469362

Considering how most stories are told in the past tense, that makes sense. Tense shifts are another growing trend in my writing. I'd like to use the future tense more often, but it's so rarely applicable.

Interesting concept... kind of similar to how Equestrian lycanthropes in some stories were bitten by timberwolves, and are more plant-like in nature.

2701195

I haven't read any like that, but I like the concept. Which would you recommend? In one story, the name of which I can't remember, particularly magical earth ponies can cause plants to sprout around them spontaneously.

Hey, because this was short and I could get through it before heading to bed (I'll be starting The Magician and the Fiddler after I get up, with any luck), I did just that, so you're getting some of my thoughts on it whether you care for them or not.

Though you say to take it as a surrealist piece and not treat it seriously, I find myself with a question: Why does Granny Smith say she was likely set to die of old age in her early thirties, when it's implied ("Applejack opened and closed her little mouth a few times […]", "[…] haven't aged a day in the decade or so we've known each other") that at or past the age of ten, Applejack is still a fairly little girl? I suppose that maybe differences in life expectancy could account for that, but it sort of sounded like life on the farm hadn't changed all that much in two hundred years.

Aside from the confusion that that caused me, I found a few minor errors that I didn't bother marking down, in part because of how tired I am and in part because they really were very minor.

All that I can really say about this story is that it was interesting. The path of the narrative was fun to follow, and the characterization was done well enough in almost every case—I found myself disliking how Sweetie Belle alone was handled, if only because I see her as a very sweet, open little girl in the show, and here she seemed a bit too distant in her interactions. The story's material flies in the face of canon now, though I imagine it was conceptualized before "Apple Family Reunion" aired. Still, it was enjoyable enough to get an upvote from me.

Good night, Fool. More from me later.

Oh, P.S. – It probably bears mentioning that I think the Comedy tag is misplaced. While Granny is essentially her usual sassy self once she wakes up at her wake, the story wasn't really funny beyond that—comedy that pretty much just stems from the characters being themselves isn't usually something I'd say is deserving of the Comedy tag, as it just isn't what the story is centered around in most cases (and, indeed, in this case). While the concept of a fruit vampire might seem silly, it's played entirely straight within the story itself, handled maturely enough that I'd say I didn't even chuckle at its use.

2711260

I appreciate your going the extra mile in reviewing this story as well. At the time of writing, though, I'm tired too, so forgive the lack of transitions between the following responses to your critique:

Now that I think about it, absurdism is probably the more relevant movement.

Applejack's portrayal is a discrepancy I failed to catch. In my stories' canon, earth ponies are adults at the age of six. At ten, Applejack ought to be the equivalent of a thirty-year-old human.

I could reasonably argue that Sweetie Belle has learned to be more reserved through her exposure to the wider world, but not only is that not the sort of thing I'd write intentionally, it'd be irrelevant anyway given that she's in the company of old and dear friends.

I'm vaguely aware of what was set out in Apple Family Reunion, and aside from Fiddlesticks's appearance, I couldn't care less about any canon it established.

The Comedy tag only makes sense in context with the Tragedy tag, for the intended genre is tragicomedy. That said, I've been told that deadpan is the comedic style to which I'm best suited, so I tried to capitalize on that.

I look forward to seeing what you had to say about The Magician and the Fiddler, but I feel as though I should wait until morning, when I can give your wise words the consideration they deserve.

Tragicomedy well done...
It's been a while, but take a thumbs up

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