• Published 9th Mar 2013
  • 4,363 Views, 68 Comments

Why The Puns? - Dasponi



Something has been bugging Twilight Sparkle, and it's something she's finally going to get an answer to.

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One And Only Chapter

Something was bothering Twilight Sparkle, unicorn and purple personal protégé of Princess Celestia. It was something that bothered her every time she looked at a map or an atlas and she was determined to finally get some answers about it. When it seemed like every week something went horribly wrong in the sleepy little town of Ponyville, Twilight had more pressing matters to attend to. The town had been quiet for a month or so and her curiosity was free to grow and her attempts to sate it would go unabated. After making sure that Spike, dragon and number one assistant of the purple personal protégé of Princess Celestia, was safely left in the care of her good friend Rarity Twilight set out on the train commonly known as The Friendship Express to the capital city of Canterlot. As she was asking for a ticket to Canterlot her mane gave a twang sound as part of it stood out on end, a sign that she was losing her mind. Canterlot itself bothered her and the thought she was going there made her more determined to find the answer to her question. She would have just written a letter to the Princess but she felt this was something that would spark a conversation. Conversations are better when had in person, and she would take any chance to converse with her beloved mentor.

When she was on the train she caught snippets of conversation from the other ponies on board. Some were talking about the places they had been recently, or were going to go to soon. Places like Fillydelphia, Trottingham, Prance, Manehattan, Buckingham, Mareis and Coltchester. There was even a place that was simply called Mane. Every time she heard the name of another place there was another twang and another strand of her mane sent out of place. By the time she made it to Canterlot itself she looked like she had just gotten out of bed, after not brushing her mane at all the day before. She was focused on her goal and didn’t think to fix her mane and attracted a lot of attention she paid no heed to as she passed through the streets. When she approached the palace the guards simply stood aside to allow her passage. They knew Twilight and as such knew that when she looked like she did, nothing would stand in her way and it was best for anything that was stood in her way to move. Even things that weren’t capable of independent movement such as doors and furnishings moved as they were enveloped in her telekinetic field as she passed through the halls of the palace. She arrived at the throne room and finally allowed herself to take stock of her surroundings. Other than Princess Celestia, who was sat at the throne itself, and the guards she had with her, the room was empty. The guards at the gate had sent word to Celestia that Twilight was on her way, and she was “in one of those moods” as they had put it. Twilight stooped down on her forelegs in to a bow when her eyes met Princess Celestia’s.

“Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student.” Celestia said, keeping her voice light to avoid sparking another spontaneous reaction in the student in question. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“There’s something that’s been bothering me Princess. It’s been bothering me for a while now but I’ve never really had a chance to ask you about it.” Twilight replied as she stood up properly and took her eyes off the floor to look once more upon the Princess.

“You know I am always happy to answer any questions you have. Although I’m surprised you’ve found a problem you haven’t been able to research your way out of.” Princess Celestia said with a chuckle. She got up from the throne and walked down to where Twilight was standing and sat down, motioning for Twilight to do the same. “So what’s on your mind, my little pony?”

“Well…” Twilight began, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “I did try to research it. It’s been bugging me for a while so I’ve had plenty of time. I just couldn’t find any answers. I just can’t help but notice how the names of every place in Equestria is a pun about ponies and I was hoping you, as the Princess, could tell me why that’s the case.” Celestia surprised Twilight by giggling at the question.

“That, my student, is a very simple question with a very simple answer. If you must know…” Celestia trailed as she watched Twilight’s smile grow and her eyes sparkle at the thought of new knowledge. “If you really must know, me and Luna were trying to think of fun names for everything, and we just kept laughing at our own puns.” The sparkle left Twilight’s eyes and the smile changed to a frown. This was clearly not the answer she was expecting.

“Everything is a pun because you and Princess Luna were having a laugh and trying to come up with silly names?” she asked. Celestia nodded in response.

“Perhaps I should explain a little more. You’re aware of mine and Luna’s rise to power, are you not?” Celestia asked Twilight, who nodded.

“You rose up to defeat Discord and take Equestria back from him to bring peace and harmony to the land.”

“Indeed we did Twilight. Luna and myself took down Discord in a gruelling battle that left both of us weakened, and even though we were jubilant to defeated him, we both still had much sadness in our hearts over the hardships we had faced and the ponies we were unable to save. As Luna and I lay on the ground, exhausted after the fight, she said to me that we would probably have to rename everything now that Discord was defeated. He had named things randomly and absurdly, and he would even change the names of things for a joke. We wanted places to have their own names, that wouldn’t change, but we couldn’t really think of any. It was after a few minutes of thought that Luna came up with calling the capital city Canterlot and we shared a little giggle. It was such a relief to laugh after everything we had been through and we just kept suggesting puns to each other like Manehattan and Fillydelphia. Of course we didn’t name everything that day, as more settlements came and went over the years, but the naming pattern stuck. Even when Luna was gone I kept it up, as it was something we shared, and I thought she would want something we could laugh about together when she came back. So, my faithful student, does that answer your question?”

While Celestia had been explaining the story Twilight had sat and listened patiently. Her face changed as she reacted to it, but she didn’t speak a word. “I think it does indeed Princess.” Twilight said after a few more moments of silence. She was smiling again and this time she had gotten an answer she was happy with. “Thank you Princess Celestia.”

“Any time Twilight” Princess Celestia replied as she gave Twilight a small nuzzle. “Now I suggest you do something about your mane.” She added, smirking as she took in what a few hours of wonder and temporary insanity had done to Twilight.

“My mane?” Twilight replied, twisting her head in an effort to look at her own mane. The only thing this produced though was a few more twangs as her mane continued to pop out as Twilight became more stressed, albeit for a different reason.

“Relax Twilight, relax.” Princess Celestia said as her horn glowed slightly. She wrapped Twilight in a magical aura and fixed her mane for her. After a few moments it was back to it’s usual two tone self and Twilight was looking much calmer. “Now, when do you have to return to Ponyville?”

“Not for a few hours yet Princess. Rarity is taking care of Spike for me.”

“Do you want to stay here a little longer? It’s been too long since we just talked about things together hasn’t it?” Celestia asked.

“I would love to stay Princess.” Twilight said as her face brightened up again. The two of them stood up and headed out of the throne room and towards the gardens. “Princess Celestia?” Twilight enquired, causing Celestia to look over at her. “If I think of a good name, can I suggest it to you?”

“You’re more than welcome to do that my little pony, but Luna and myself have had thousands of years to come up with them. So good luck thinking of one we haven’t.” The two of them could be heard giggling as Twilight tried to come up with names Celestia and Luna hadn’t.

By the time Twilight had to go back to Ponyville, she still hadn’t thought of any new ones.

Author's Note:

This is my second fic and it's just a short one shot I came up with when I thought about a logical answer to the question of "Just why is everything a horse pun?" I didn't want to have some kind of fourth wall breaking Hasbro based fic, and so came up with the idea that Luna and Celestia were just laughing with eachother as they named everything. If this is a fairly common idea then my apologies, but I've not seen anyone else do something like this.

Bonus points to whoever can tell me what actual cities I ponified.

Comments ( 68 )

Haha! Exactly, All these puns!!! I like some of the puns though, since they are in a different world. I made a pun of a city close to me , Columbus=Coltumbus

Love it. Love this story. :P

Philadelphia, Nottingham, France?, Manhattan, Buckingham!, Paris, Colchester.

First sentence: A row of adjectives has to be parted with commas, unless you want "personal protege" to be a phrase in which case you need to use quotation marks.

Short and fun, just how I like it!

short sweet well done good sir:twilightsmile:

Huh, an original idea? Impossibru!!:twilightangry2:
Really nice fic. It's nice to finally read something with at least a hint of originality.
Prepare to have your idea mimicked 5,000 times before a new one comes out!:twilightsmile:

Wait, something in East Anglia actually gets a mention?

What is this?

Nothing ever happens here.

Go a few miles north and you come to the most boring place in the whole world-Suffolk.

Orlando --> Horselando (kind of a stretch)
Salt Lake City --> Salt LICK City

Good idea but not executed well. You have quite a number of missed punctuations and run on sentences. The build up was good, but the pay off was weak and was anti climactic. Also, since it didn't really have comedy, I don't think it needs the comedy tag. The concept is silly but you don't really use it to make jokes or comedic situations. See if you can get an editor to clean up the structure, and maybe find one who can help you add a more interesting ending. A few more jokes would definetly help it earn the comedy tag.

y'all need to stop horsing around

2239874
All of those problems are entirely my fault. Thanks for the feedback on how to clean it all up a little. But it's full of puns so it's got to be comedy. I get where you're coming from though and I'm not entirely serious in that sentence. I intended for it to be funnier than it actually ended up being, and decided to stick the comedy tag on to be safe, and because it was intended to be one. Birtish humour is very dry.

2239548
Close, Coltchester was Manchester, and after Manehattan I didn't want to be simple and just have Manechester. Even if that is how some people actually pronounce Manchester :twilightblush:

2239744
I'm English so I had to mention some places close to home. I just realised I should have used Manesfield too. Ah well, maybe next time I decide to be punny in a story.

I find it funny Ponyville is the only place in Equestia that isn't a pony pun, in fact it's the least creative name because it's simply descriptive, Village of Ponies.

Mane=Maine
Hmmm let me think
Seaddle=Seattle?

Out of all the explanations I've seen for this particular dilemma, this one is by far the best. For once Celestia wasn't being a troll. :trixieshiftright:

Fillydelphia=Philidelphia
Trottingham=N/A
Prance=France
Manehattan=Manhattan
Buckingham=Bermingham
Mareis=N/A
Coltchester=Windchester
Mane=Maine
You are not the only one who thought of this. Someone on deviantart did this.

The cover image? I think it's a reversed version of a scene from this..
http://csimadmax.deviantart.com/gallery/27895270?offset=120#/art/april-foal-203104309?_sid=137b49a3
(hope that link works)

Gah, it didn't...just cut and paste it instead

A short and sweet read. Good job! :twilightsmile:

2240035 British humor is dry? *starts shaking* "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!"
American humor is stupidity these days. :pinkiesick:

2240035
I'm British and watch a lot of comedy, I say I'm qualified to speak on the subject. It's more subtle and clever. Although in this I just descended in to puns and over explanation :twilightblush:

2240252
Ahh I love that comic, thanks for bringing it back to my attention. I totally forgot about it:twilightsmile:

I didn't like it.
That may be blunt but I am simply telling the truth. You kept using periods where they should not have gone, this caused a skyrocketing number of run-off sentences that were awkward to read and left me with sentences that should have been more complex. I found the plot to be kind of useless and quick with a lack of description in some area's. A period after dialogue within the quotations and then followed by more writing is awkward and to be honest Its a bad mistake and habit. Another thing that hit me in a negative way was Twilight seeming to snap from sanity to insanity every 2 seconds, you can't just throw that in every sentence and expect it to be received positively. In the show when Twilight snaps finally in some episodes she snaps because she has been completely and utterly overwhelmed; however here we see her going nuts over nothing but puns, this to me is nonsense. Let us look at princess Celestia now, when you write princess you put it into a capital, this is not correct for it is not part of her name; it is a title and therefor has no reason being capitalized. I found Celestia to be a little to silly for my tastes; by this I mean that she was taking little to nothing serious at all, therefor focusing to much on her casual/silly side and ignoring everything else of this characters personality. Her and Luna would have taken these decisions seriously to start a new beginning and to build trust in their new subjects. Would you be happy if your countries leader started making jokes about your own country and giving names to cities that were results of jokes? no. For these reasons I rate your story a 5/10 and I recommend you get a proofreader.


-Rezz

Oni

2241252 completely. i am texan and i agree with this statement.

2240610 Trottingham=Nottingham
Mareis=Paris

2240610 Trottingham = Nottingham, I think. It's a place in England.

New Pony-Pun "Dashington" and "Morocolt"

Buckston (Buxton), Westhockton (Westhoughton), Dockchester (Dorchester), Cannonford (Camelford), Crestbrook (Cranbrook), Barrelswick (Barnoldswick), Croup (Crewe), Fetlockstowe (Felixstowe), Hoofingdon (Huntingdon), Poll (Poole), Witherdon (Wimbledon), Dockton-on-Tail (Stockton-on-Tees), Fetlock (Matlock), Muzzlefield (Macclesfield).

So many puns. :raritydespair:

You left out baltimare :raritydespair:
its where I'm from and its cannon so I was a little upset

fun story though :ajsmug:

Funny with just a hint of heart-warming. I approve, good sir!:yay:

2244610
Thank you very much :twilightblush:

2244989
You are my new God. :pinkiecrazy: As a Brit I love not just the puns, but that they're English places.

Rather... anticlimactic. But an enjoyable read nonetheless.

I'm still fond of the theory that an Eldrich Abomination ravaged the planet and was only defeated by bad horse puns. Now, to ensure that it never returns, everything has a horse pun in it.

This guy is cool.
I'm Fillypino, but I can't find/think of a good pun for Oregon.

this actually explains a lot.

2240035

I was trying to think of a way to describe how to use the situation you created and make it funny by making celestia serious about naming everything puns, but gave up since I couldn't phrase it correctly. Then i found this pic and think it explains what I mean.

poniponi.com/media/comics/68410__safe_princess-luna_princess-celestia_comic_princess-cadance_team-fortress-2_artist-zicygomar_hats_artist-iraincloud_serious-hat.jpg

2262164
I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing that comic :trollestia: When I originally thought up this idea I thought it would be better as a comic but I have no artistic ability (unless you count writing as an art form) and that was just the beginnings of my problems. It's one of the reasons the story sort of drags out a bit and could have been resolved quicker.

A cute idea for a fic, but the grammar and formatting leave much to be desired. Also, the prose itself feels a little... off. Not sure how to describe it really. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_sad.png

2242404
Actually, when writing princess as part of a name or using it in place of a name, it is capitalized, like so: Princess Celestia, the Princess sat down, Celestia is a princess.

It was short, It was simple, It was clean. It was straight as an arrow with no big twists at the end.
But I can't help but say I really enjoyed this. How'd you do that? :rainbowhuh:

2276295
Imagine how good it would have been if I took it seriously and made sure it was ready before I submitted it :twilightblush: Although actually it may have ended up worse. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I don't really know how I did it. :raritywink:

That Trollestia cover art nearly warded me off from reading this fic.

Faved and upvoted.

2455323
Hehe glad you enjoyed it, and that this fic is getting a little love :pinkiesmile:

2455405

huehuehuehue

I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible person.

2455408
You seem quite the opposite to fave and upvote a story :twilightsmile:

2455412

I'm a complex pastry, that's how.

2455413
I knew it would be the pasties, and not the robots, that gained sentience and rose up to take us down.

2455417

That's comedy gold right there.

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