• Published 31st Jan 2012
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Rorschach in Equestria - Ex-Nihilos



The Watchmen's most wrathful vigilante finds himself in the strangely innocent land of Equestria.

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(17) Fear

Chapter 17: Fear

Canterlot Archives Manuscript dated 40 BD (Before Discord), Author unknown, Journal Entry 21…

The hearts of men are difficult to comprehend, but all hearts are driven by man’s instincts, their devotion to the Lord, and their weakness to sin. Of all instincts that define a person, fear is the strongest. Men fear many things, and rightfully so. We fear death, we fear disease, but most of all we fear what we don’t understand. It is the new and foreign that puts a man’s soul upon the peripheral edge of courage and craven by shaking their resolve. Even I, a man devoted to the Lord, am not immune to this universal fear of the unknown that all of God’s creatures hold.

I find it as no surprise then that ponies share this fear of the unknown with man, and react in the same way as they do when confronted with a perceived danger that they do not quite understand. They may adapt quickly , find shelter with others or flee to safety, but even after the danger is gone and they realize a mistake had been made a prejudice of the unknown remains in their hearts. In closer words, they are like man in that they do not trust a new thing so easily. I realize this prejudice first hand, when I first arrived in this purgatory of sorts and even now I know that they will never be use to my presence.

Now that I am old I wonder if it would have been better if I’d fallen into the pits of Lucifer’s domain instead of this peaceful place. May God forgive my sin of pride for thinking I belonged here.

Prayer of the Day:
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."


The pink pony sat in the remnants of the kitchen, her usually puffy mane straightened in accordance with the depressing scene that greeted her weary eyes. Flour strewn across everything, broken eggs littered the floor and counters alike adding to the mess that already covered the destroyed kitchen.

Outside there was the clamor of a nervous crowd, their voices coming like a dull roar to her through the oppressive silence that hung around the pony. She felt like crying but she wasn’t sure why, messes could be cleaned with little trouble, she made them every so often after all, and the cracked cabinets and broken carpentry could be replaced with ease as well. Even the ingredients just required a quick trip to the market. In all, the damage looked much worse than it actually was, so why was it that when she saw the remnants of the struggle that took place here she wanted to cry?

It was something about the mess itself, the way it was made was not by a happy accident or joyful carelessness. This felt like the remains of a struggle, an event of pain and confusion. Pinkie Pie was always perceptive of others’ happiness; it was part of her special talent. She could tell when they were unhappy and always she tried her best to make it better. This mess was different, even though it was only an echo of something she didn’t see happen. She got up and took several paces into the quiet kitchen to look at a particular spot where the powder was spattered with dark red dots that smelled foul. This was a different kind of pain, something that Pinkie Pie wasn’t sure she could fix, and the thought of that was what made her cry.

She gave the flour a light kick to obscure the stain, though she could still smell its evil stench she felt better now that she couldn’t see it. Quietly, a sullen Pinkie Pie walked out of the room, feeling so unlike herself, the situation not at all helped by the sounds coming outside.


“Hurry up, Twi! Somethin’s goin’ on outside!” Applejack impatiently pestered the lavender unicorn, again attempting to dislodge her from her furious writing. The quill scratching against the parchment only faltered for a moment to start a new line of words under Twilight Sparkle’s focused supervision.

“Just…a few…more.... sentences,” Twilight said over her shoulder, her eyes still focused on the paper and ignoring the exasperated orange mare and azure unicorn waiting by the door. The other unicorn matched Applejack’s anxiousness in going outside to investigate the strangely well-lit town, abruptly awoken during the night for some odd reason. The two by now had been waiting for almost ten minutes as Twilight was insistent in writing a letter to her mentor about something once Trixie had finished relating her story of Rorschach’s journal to them.

Huffing, Applejack stomped a hoof against the ornate wooden floor of the library, “you’ve said that twice now, sugarcube! If ya want to keep writin’ then the two of us will just go without ya.”

“Done! Alright let’s go, I’ll give this to Spike later when he’s actually awake.” The unicorn hastily said as she rolled up the parchment with her magic and set it down on the desk to be sent off later. Quickly she followed the other two out the door.

They promptly stopped when they noted the rather steady crowd passing by them to a large one standing in front of city hall. Some of the talk the three managed to catch from the crowd did not put them at ease as the word ‘human’ and ‘rampage’ was used quite often.

“So… what would be the chances that it was a different human than the one we’re thinking of?” Trixie asked.

“Slim to none Ah’m guessin’,” Applejack deadpanned right back at the unicorn, “come on, let’s see what all the ruckus is about.” Trixie and Twilight nodded in agreement and moved to follow the Earth pony, careful to keep close together to not become lost in the crowd.

Making their way through the townsponies they could see a tired looking Mayor Mare trying her best to keep order to the crowd throwing questions at her. Like the rest of them it looked like the grey maned pony had been woken up the same way as the rest of them and hadn’t bothered to fix up her mane in its usual style, even her glasses were slightly lopsided from where they were hastily put on.

“Gentleponies, please one at a time!” she reasoned to the crowd to no avail.

The questions and demands kept coming as the three ponies managed to push themselves to the front of the crowd.

“How can you tell us to be calm when a monster just tore up our town?!”

“What if it hurt somepony?!”

“How are we supposed to feel safe with that thing coming out of the Everfree Forest?!”

“The horror! The horror!”

It was then that a red pegasus stallion stepped forward, his cutie mark a yellow five pointed star. Around town ponies knew him as a former detective from Manehattan. Mighty Star, a brash and overzealous stallion who held a lot of respect from the townspeople of Ponyville. He shook his hoof at the Mayor and his loud, commanding voice rang across the crowd, “I say we shouldn’t stand for this! That monster has been nothing but trouble since the day he arrived here and no pony is doing anything about it!”

A resounding rally of agreement came from the crowd. Twilight, Applejack, and Trixie all looked to each other then, not at all liking where this was going. The red stallion wasn’t done yet, he spun around to face the crowd, his hazel eyes ablaze with a hidden anger, “this is our home and that monster isn’t welcome here! We should chase this thing out before he has a chance to do harm one of us, before he harms the ones we love, and to show him that we aren’t afraid of some human who thinks he can barge into our homes and wreck our lives!”

The panicked crowd’s voice started to join together then, what was once a cacophony of fear and turmoil began to unify into a sound of outrage and indignant discontent. Other ponies were joining along with Mighty Star in the rally to chase away the human that threatened their town. Mayor Mare saw what was happening, the sleep from her eyes gone and replaced with anxiety at the crowd’s swing of emotion, “now wait! Please, everypony just calm down and think about this!”

“No, Mayor Mare,” Mighty Star said, turning around to face her again, “we’ve been kind enough to let that thing live near us and this is the thanks we get, frightened families and a rampage through our happy town! The princess might have said there was nothing to be afraid of him but I’m sorry to say I don’t think she’s right!”

At that declaration some of the ponies in the crowd gasped, a lavender unicorn chief amongst the outrage of putting the princess’ judgment into question. Mighty Star didn’t notice and continued on with his angry speech, “that’s right; I don’t think the Princess realized how dangerous this human could be! Whether he tricked her or used some kind of magic to get her to trust him, I don’t know, all I do know is he’s caused enough grief!”

The indignation of the crowd doubled then to a loud roar of outrage and anger. It looked as though only three in the crowd remain uneased by it all the red pegasus stallion’s words. Trixie turned to Applejack and whispered harshly, her voice nearly lost in the crowd, “what in world is he talking about?! Rory can’t use magic!”

“He’s just tryin’ to rile up the crowd-“

“And it’s working,” Twilight finished for her friend, her eyes scanning the unhappy faces all around them.

“Well what’re we goin’ ta do Twi? This crowd is fixin’ to march right into the Everfree Forest to confront Rorschach, somepony might get hurt and he can’t go fightin’ a whole crowd!” Applejack quickly said, having to talk over a whisper now to speak over the crowd that seemed ready to grab pitchforks and torches with Mighty Star at the lead.

Twilight didn’t answer; her eyes were fixated on the front of Town Hall and Mayor Mare trying her best to get the crowd’s attention. Applejack looked to her friend curiously as the lavender unicorn started to walk wordlessly towards the front of Town Hall. Mayor Mare noticed Twilight’s approach, surprised by the fiery look in the young mare’s eyes. Backing away from her spot, Twilight now stood in front of the crowd. The deep breathe she took gave Applejack and Trixie fair warning to cover their ears for what was to come.

“EVERYPONY BE QUIET!”

The loud voice hushed the crowd and made some in the first rows closest to Twilight go deaf from her loud voice carried with the help of some amplifying magic. All eyes turned to Twilight who at first seemed a bit flustered and embarrassed to have the attention but quickly turned to a resolute expression. Loudly she spoke for all to hear, “now I know eveypony is frightened and upset but that is no excuse to start acting like an angry mob!”

“That sounds more like the perfect excuse to form an angry mob,” an azure pony said from the front row before the orange mare next to her shushed her.

Twilight ignored the comment and kept going, “I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding, I’m positive Ror- I mean the human- I’m sure that the human wouldn’t just start breaking into ponies’ homes to wake them from their sleep if there wasn’t a good explanation behind it.”

“Oh?” Mighty Star asked sarcastically, now fully turned to face Twilight, “what possible reason could he have to break into ponies’ homes in the middle of the night to terrify them out of bed and break their belongings?”

Twilight’s ears went flat and she bit at the bottom of her lip, “well… I uh, I can’t think of a reason at the moment, but going and acting like a mob about it isn’t the answer.” Getting more confidence she glared back at the crowd, avoiding Mighty Star’s harsh gaze, “ask yourselves this then, do you really want to be marching off into the Everfree Forest in the middle of the night to hunt down a human that might be there or go home and back to bed and let my friends and I to handle it in the morning?”

Mighty Star turned and both he and the lavender unicorn looked expectantly at the crowd conversing with itself. It looked like no decision was going to be made until a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and crooked eyes jumped up and hovered over the crowd. With a hoof raised to the sky and a cheery voice she called out, “I vote for that second thing you said!” Several ponies started nodding to one another the crowd began to disperse with even more tired ponies returning to their homes.

Twilight Sparkle, Mayor Mare, and the two other mares that remained breathed a collective sigh of relief until they noticed that one stallion had remained. Twilight shrank beneath Mighty Star’s harsh sneer and Applejack watched him with her own glare, ready to jump to Twilight’s help if she needed it. When it looked like Mighty Star was about say something he instead grunted indignantly and stalked away in the opposite direction, back to his home like the rest of the ponies.

The four watched him leave and once Mayor Mare was sure he wouldn’t be coming back she looked gratefully to the librarian, “thank you, Twilight Sparkle. You really stopped a disaster from happening just now, but I really hope you know what you and your friends are doing about this human business. In the morning, ponies are still going to be scared about what happened last night and they’ll want an explanation for it all. Until then I don’t think Mighty Star is going to let this one go, he means well but he isn’t one to let things go so easily.” Twilight nodded, not answering Mayor Mare, she didn’t need to. The mayor excused herself then to, saying her good nights to the three mares before leaving them standing in front of Town Hall.

“So what are we supposed to do now?” Trixie asked.

Applejack’s answer was prompt, “well first we find Rorschach so he can tell us what’s goin’ on around here.”

“Yes, but where is he? He could be anywhere after going through town like that!” Twilight answered back.

“Well then we check his home in the forest, he’s probably back in that cave of his right now.” Applejack quickly countered, looking towards the direction of the forest.

Trixie in turn shook her head, “even if he is, Trixie doubts he’ll be in the mood to talk.”

Twilight nodded in agreement, “maybe it would be better to wait for more light to go searching for him?”

“It might be he’s still dealing with what happened today, in his own way, or feeling the affects of magic,” Trixie added in.

“Are y’all kidding me?” Applejack glared between the two unicorns, causing both the shift anxiously, “Rory is out there, maybe hurt or in danger and you two don’t even want to try searching for him?”

“It’s just until morning Applejack, if we try looking for him now we could end up lost ourselves. There’s no way we could find him out here at night, especially if he wants to stay hidden.”

Applejack still looked ready to bolt but saw the wisdom in Twilight’s words, rushing off without thinking had gotten her into trouble before and this might be the same thing. Rorschach wasn’t helpless, he knew how to handle himself.

Hesitantly the orange mare conceded, “first light tomorrow mornin’ we’re goin’ to look for him and get some answers. “

Twilight nodded in agreement, “and in the morning I think we can get more help from the other girls, and maybe even more with the letter I wrote.”


I sat upon the dirty ground in silence as bugs hovered in the air around me, my face lay in my hands, staring back at me with a shapeless and enigmatic look. My true face has always brought me comfort, with it on I knew exactly who I was and what my purpose was. It was a face to be feared and respected, vermin scattered at its sight and pariah fell to their knees begging for clemency. But that seemed like a different lifetime now, it’s as though an eternity had passed since last I step foot in murky alleyways that smelled of sewage and depravity, this mask hasn’t sparked that common link of fear in anything for just as long. And now it has, and it leaves me with a strange feeling of discontent.

I glance up from the mask towards the disturbed dirt in front of me. An unmarked grave beneath an alcove of gnarled trees, a slim layer of leaves scattered about disturbed earth to hide the occupants that lay beneath the ground.

I try to imagine what it's like beneath the earth. To have the worms feast upon dead flesh and broken bone, stripping away any trace of meat until all that remained were dirty pale bones. I try to see rotted canine faces staring back at me, that same shapeless and enigmatic look in their eyes just like the dead expression on the face that lay in my hands. I try, but all I see is a mound of dirt staring back at me, a mound of dirt that could hold anything beneath it even though I knew very well what was under there. But how could I know for certain, it’s just a mound of dirt with anyone underneath it. A cow killed because of rabies, two dogs who tried to be thieves, a man.

“You’ve been lying to yourself, Mr. Kovacs.” The shadow’s voice rang in my ears, as if he were next to me now talking to me again. “Did you hope to fool yourself, thinking you can fit in to this place?”

He... it, was right though, I don’t belong here and I cannot fit in. Perhaps it would easier just to leave this place for good, to wander into the Everfree forest until my legs can’t carry me anymore and I fall upon the forest floor. I hated that shadow for what he had done but what he said I knew to be true.

“You’ll always be hated,” each word that it spoke had been gnarled and twisted but they brought clarity to thoughts that have plagued my mind and hollowed my sleep, “it’s just how things are supposed to be, Walter.” And that name Walter, it felt foreign to be now, like it didn’t belong. Who was I now, what was I.

“You can’t deny your nature, you’re just a mad dog waiting for an unmarked grave.” My eyes bore in to the grave in front of me, a reminder of where I could or would be going to, “All you need is... a push... in the right direction.”

I’m tired of these self-reflections, tired of questioning myself and seeing the misery of my situation, and I am tired of complicating the lives of the innocent who should know better and leave me be. A man with too much time on his hands will see faults where none exists, but time is all I have now, and faults are all I see.

I laid back, moving my legs to lay outstretched and with my head resting upon the soft ground to look up to the stars above. I am tired of all these things, just so very tired of the weight that bore down upon my shoulders and back. Perhaps tomorrow it wasn't time for any self-reflection, just action on what to do with the time I was given.

My eyes closed, shutting out the moon’s light from my view and despite my turbulent mind I found myself slipping away. I fell asleep then, a restful slumber that came without dreams and without voices. There was only darkness, a peaceful darkness that I welcomed like a friend I have never met before.



Your vision fades from darkness and a scene of a roaring stone fireplace with a red overstuffed chair seated in front of it. Seated in the chair is a man of rather boring features with glasses set upon the ridge of his nose, his eyes are fixated not upon you but on the book in his lap. Elbow rested upon the chair's armrest his hand moves gently to a silent rhythm to move the fine magenta liquid in the wine glass he nursed in his fingers.

He looks up and sees you standing there.

"Oh! Bloody 'ell how did you get into my house? Ah that doesn't matter, I'm tripping on way too much acid to care. Seriously, I'm reading Dr. Seuss right now and its the most compelling philosophical argument I've ever read, that's how much acid is in me right now. Anyway, on to the more important matter of why you are here. You're probably peeved at me for my long absence and this rather small chapter to herald in my reappearance. To that i say I am sorry, and also that I shall make it up to you by making the next chapter longer and hopefully not take so long, I pretty much wanted to get this one out to show I'm not entirely full of bull, maybe 80% bull but not full of it. We're pretty much getting near the end of Rorschach's venture in Equestria, have a few more laughs, some more tears, probably some moments where you go 'Ex-Nihilos you dirty harlot how dare you write this trash'. Though just cause we're nearing the end doesn't mean I'm going to be rushing it, on the contrary I'll probably be taking it slow to be sure I get things just right.

"So that's what I got to say about that. On a related note on a blog I did for ideas to story ideas I should try out I got some very good one was a few that were so bad that I'm refusing to acknowledge those people anymore. You know who you are. Not sure what I will go with yet but one thing at a time I suppose.

"Well, that's it. Get out of my house while I think about what I have to do and how to keep up the expectations boring into my skull with this story."