Traz, the new pony in town, gets invited to a welcome party thrown by none other than Pinkie Pie, however the invite says that the party is being held at one of the creeper most run-down homes in Ponyville, and Traz is having second thoughts about it.
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Readers of my Story...
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Y U NO POST COMMENTS TO HELP IMPROVE MY STORY???
Good start, though I would suggest throughout the story you develop Traz more (my first impression of him when I read this is that he's not all that smart). If the story is just about this guy getting killed you can ignore what I say, usually people don't give a crap about horror story victims, though developing him still wouldn't hurt
also I'm guessing its pinkamena as the antagonist.
182844 Ahh thank you! That is actually an incredibly helpful comment and I appreciate your input, perhaps I could develop him further, I was planning on further describing him and the past in a later chapter but i wasn't going to go to deep into it, however if people feel so strongly about it, he will will get a proper backstory
Again, sorry for slow update, nothing but sheer laziness, next chapter is not going to take as long as this one did, Also I am aware of some italaze errors, the sound effects and the end parts where Traz he thinking whats the point of going on is supposed to be Italizied. Since I am currently on my iPod while I am writing this, I cannot fix them, they will be fixed asap however