"What if I-"
"No."
"Or-"
"No."
"I-"
"N...o."
The Doctor huffed, lips pursed in annoyance. Derpy didn't even pay him the slightest of attention, focused solely on her copy of 'Modern Pony Weekly' (in this week's issue: 49 Ways to Drive Your Stallion Wild... hint, all of them involve his happy place). It was a beautiful summer day and Derpy was going to enjoy it. Her mail route had been completed before lunch and Dinky had gone with Pip and Ruby Punch officially get accredited as the Cutie Marker Brigade (so much better than the CMCs).
"What is the Doctor complaining about?" Mary Sue asked, trotting over to the empty lawn chair next to Derpy and taking a seat. Her horn glowed as she brought over two daiquiris. She watched as the Doctor paced in front of them, clearly deep in thought.
"It is his turn to mow the lawn and he keeps trying to find ways to get out of it," Derpy stated.
The Doctor huffed. "It is unbefitting a Time Lord to 'mow the lawn'."
"Does being a Time Lord give you the magical power to make the grass stop growing?" Mary asked. When the Doctor shook his head the black alicorn shrugged. "Then I guess you are screwed."
The Doctor glared at the old-fashion push mower that sat near him, silently taunting him. "Are you sure this contraption isn't the Master in disguise?"
"Yes," Derpy said.
"How do you know?"
"Because the Master is over there," Derpy said, pointing to the house next door, where a blonde maned, black coated earth pony was waving his hoof at the Doctor in mocking anger.
"Yes, look at the mighty Doctor! You are so whipped!"
"Frank!" The Master lowered his head as Colgate stormed over. "I told you to prune the hedges 10 minutes ago!"
"Yes dear..." The Master said weakly, trudging off the work.
"See?" Derpy stated. "Even your arch nemesis has to do lawn work!"
"I can't believe you are the voice of reason here," Mary Sue stated.
"When it comes to a mowed lawn I am VERY serious."
The Doctor, however, was no longer paying attention. "Ah, I think I just had a brainstorm!" He hurried over to the Tardis and began to throw all different pieces of technology out. "Where is it... yes!" The Time Lord happily cantered out of his Tardis, a red and white ball in his mouth. "I knew I still had this!"
Mary frowned. "What is that?"
"A few years back the old girl and I took a wrong turn and we ended up in this strange land called Sinnoh. The citizens there devised technology that allowed them to enslave animals and make them do their bidding! Very interesting and all that and after I had to leave I kept a few for myself." The Doctor threw the ball down. "Charizard, I choose you!"
Mary and Derpy let out twin yelps as a massive orange dragon appeared from the beam of energy that shot out of the ball. The beast flapped his wings, his tail (which was lit up like a pilot light) thrashed as he looked around for his opponent.
"Charizard, I want you to mow the lawn!" The Doctor said happily.
Derpy and Mary looked at each other, then the annoyed dragon. "Well, this is going to end badly."
~Ten minutes later…~
“See?” The Doctor said, watching as the pokemon pushed the mower around. “Told you it would work.”
“…you do realize you lucked out on that one, right?” Mary complained.
“Doesn’t matter as long as it worked!”
The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted
Episode 10: Mother's Day
"We we last left out heroes they had been in the middle of a gang war between two groups of ponies-"
"Plotdump, what the hell are you doing here?" Tydal said in annoyance, glaring at the pony. It was a nice summer day and the capricorn had been enjoying the walk until the annoying stallion had suddenly popped up.
"I go wherever the narrative takes me!" the narrator stated.
Luna's horn flashed and she dumped the stallion in a nearby lake. "There, that is taken care of."
"So... explain to me again what exactly you did to get Blowhard and Sticky Hooves to stop fighting?" Shining asked, shifting his saddle bags.
Tydal smirked. "I merely politely, and calmly, reminded them that if they didn't stop behaving like morons I would be forced to invade their country and brutally slaughter them all."
Celestia sighed. "The ironic thing is that taking the time to tell them about your plans to slaughter them meant we missed the last train out of Prance and now there is less time to get you back to your throne and prevent slaughter."
Cadence giggled as she skipped along. "On the plus side, I taught Sweetie Belle the perfect way to earn money from grown stallions." She gave them all a saucy wink. “Oh yes… she is quite the ‘performer’…”
~Meanwhile, on the last train leaving Prance...~
"Moon river..." Sweetie Belle sang, Rarity trotting along the aisle of the train car, collecting donations from weeping stallions.
~Back at the plot...~
"Well, I for one am glad the her sister, the white little slut, is gone." Chrysalis tossed her mane over her shoulder and fluttered her eyelashes at Shining. "Leaves just the two of us."
"And everyone else," Shining stated happily.
"Right... right..." Chrysalis grinned. "Hey, why don't everypony except for Shining and me race ahead?"
"Ok!" Cadence said happily, only for Luna to stop her. "Aw, but she said-"
"Trust me... you want to stick around."
"...okey dokey!"
Celestia looked up at the sky. "This is truly a wonderful day, isn't it? The birds singing, the sun shining-"
"The sudden feeling of dread," Tydal said, eyes widening in fear. He began to look around for a hiding place.
"Well, I don't know about-"
BOOM!
The group was thrown back, a cloud of dust consuming them. Shining threw up a protection orb to try and keep the dust out but the air was thick with it. Chrysalis quickly turned into an air purifier, removing the soot and allowing them all to breathe.
"What the heck was that?" Luna complained, trying to peer through the cloud of dust.
Celestia frowned. "I sense something... a presence I haven't felt since... aw crap."
"MY BABIES!"
Shining's bubble shattered as a white alicorn leapt at them, wrapping her arms around the four goddess and the one god and squeezing them tight. Shining stepped back in shock, taking in the red-haired alicorn as she swung the fivesome back and forth.
"Look at you! Oh, I've missed you all so much!"
"Maybe you shouldn't have abandoned us," Luna said with a huff, finally managing to squirm away.
"This is why I don't go to the family reunions!" Chrysalis complained, turning into a hummingbird and darting out of the large alicorn's grasp.
"What the hell is going on?!?" Shining shouted in annoyance.
Celestia coughed, forcing the larger alicorn to let her go, leaving a fuming Tydal and a giggling Cadence in the hug. "Captain Armor, may I present Tau Sunflare, otherwise known as The Creator-"
"Otherwise known as our mother," Tydal finished as Shining instantly fell to his belly in supplication. "Mom, please set me down!"
"Aw, you are so cute, Tydal!" Tau kissed the capricorn, who squirmed in a vain attempt to free himself. 'And Cadence, have you missed me?"
"The only memory I have of you is when you abandoned me... so you are no different than the mailmare in my opinion,” Cadence stated simply.
Chrysalis frowned. "Then why are you smiling?"
"I love the mail mare!" Cadence squealed, hugging her mother.
Tydal, giving up his fight to free himself, crossed his arms over his chest and let out a snort. "Mother, why are you here?"
"I just wanted to see my babies!" Tau's horn glowed and she summoned a brush so she could comb Cadence's hair.
"I thought you saw plenty of us when you dumped us off on the welcome mats of other family members,” Tydal grunted.
Tau Sunflare laughed at her 4th eldest. "I didn't abandon you, did I? Raised you up since you were a little baby." She looked down at him and her smile grew even bigger. "You know, you look just like you did when you were only a few months old..."
"Please don't tell baby stories!" Tydal whined.
"Please do," Shining said with a smirk.
"I swear, I will gut you like a-"
Tau cut him off. "Baby stories? Why not... I remember when Tydal first met his brother and sister..."
~Thousands of Years Ago...~
"Mother, are you here?"
Zeena trotted into the golden palace her mother called home, her brother Fuzzy fast on her heels. The zebra and the griffin had gotten a summons by their mother, asking (aka DEMANDING) they come home at once. All about her Zeena could hear the beautiful strums of phantom harps and brilliant light streamed through the windows onto the dappled floor.
"This had better be good," Fuzzy complained, reaching up to tug on his goatee. He had left his battle helm and sword at the door (as his mother was always complaining about him bringing weapons in the house) and his adrenaline was thrumming through his veins; he'd left a hard fought battle against some blast-ended skrewts and he was desperate to get back to the slaughter. The lousy nerdy skrewts had DARED to complain that they were scholars and not fighters and now Fuzzy was making them pay.
Oh, how he hated peaceful scholars (coughforeshadowingcough).
"You can return to your battle whenever you wish, baby brother," Zeena said sharply. "If anyone should be annoyed it is me; I was in the middle of a wonderful conquest when the summons came."
"And by conquest you mean getting humped by anything that moves," Discord called out from where he sat, thumbing through a magazine. He adjusted his reading glasses and licking his finger, turning the page. "And you shouldn't be calling him that."
"Thank you!" Fuzzy exclaimed. "Even our brother agrees that you should stop calling me that silly nickname."
"Oh, I am not saying she should stop taunting you, Fuzzy-wuzzy," Discord said, snapping his fingers and sending his magazine back to wherever it had come. "It is merely incorrect to call you her baby brother."
"And why is that?" Zeena asked.
"Because you have a new baby brother," Tau said happily, entering the room.
"Mother... I see you are something strange again."
The white goddess grinned, doing a little turn like she was on the catwalk. "Manticore... I felt like dressing casual."
"Indeed," Fuzzy stated, rolling his eyes; he had long gotten use to his mother changing forms. "So, where is the squirmy little bundle of fluff?"
Tau smiled, leading them towards a side room. Entering, Zeena and Fuzzy looked about the nursery. It was gone up in a seafoam green with traces of blue. The walls had happy fish painted on them and there were stuffed teddy bears all over. It would have been quite cute, if not for the steel crate sitting where the crib should have been.
"Mother... what..." Zeena began, only to be shushed by the goddess.
"Come here..." she whispered, leading them to the crate. "Meet your baby brother-"
"RAWR!"
The three leapt back as a small... something leapt at the bars, trying to bite through them. Tau merely smiled and opened the crate, using her magic to pick up the roaring little creature. The front half of his body was gray, his ears twitching against his stubby horns and a frown on his face. His rear (from little they could see that wasn’t covered by a diaper) was covered in scales and instead of a normal goat tail he had a long fish tail.
"-Tydal," Tau said with a grin, the baby glaring at his brothers and sister, forelegs crossed over his chest in annoyance.
I am just going to say it right now: I can not wait for Pokemon X and Y. I am going to raise me that blue Gandalf frog and then trade for the other two starters... then find a way to get me a Phanpy.
The Master has a blue coat, not black. Now that I've got my complaining out of the way, I can begin commenting.
Will Shining finally get his wings in this arc?
Will there be more funny baby stories?
Will Tydal blush in the next chapter?
I can only hope.
TYDAL IS BEST PONY BABY!!
The ending seemed a little abrupt, but that was another fun chapter. Keep it up
Great chapter, as always.
I wonder, does
FaustTau Sunflare suffer from ADD?Ah Tydal was so serious even as a baby.
P.S. Shining Armor probably wishes he had some embarassing baby photos of Tydal to use.
2486445
I am basing that Master on his last appearance, when he had a black hoodie.
2486577
I figure, with the way Faust moves on to different projects, that Tau would be a shapeshifter.
Dawwwwwww, Tydal sounds so cute!
2486957
No. Discord is the eldest child of Tau Sunflare. The family tree goes:
Discord (Twilight's dad?)
Zeena (Zecora's mom)
Fuzzy Thinker (Gilda's Grandfather)
Tydal (Coral and Misty's father)
(Several more family members that haven't been introduced)
Celestia (Derpy's great grandma)
Luna (Twilight's mom?)
Chrysalis
Cadence
Mary Sue
Why is The Master going by Frank? Is it like how MISTER SAXON = MASTER NO. SIX?
They have one seriously messed up family tree. Which remind's me. Will Twilight ever find out that Luna is her mother?
2487245
Well, technically it has never been confirmed... all we have to go on are rumors.
2487501 Ah okay. But I have to ask. Is there any chance of you ever writing a serious story where Twilight find's out her mother is Luna?
Damn, how old is Discord? Ha, Derpy....that's funny. I never seen Doctor Who, doubt I ever will. But this shit is amazing Sweetie Belle is funny as buck, I would have thought creation herself would have been dar more serious but it's amusing to see her be crazy
Awww…Momma's cute scaly bloodthirsty abomination.
Two hours later: Everybody, come quick! Tydal's performed his first murder!
Oh stories about baby Tydal, should be entertaining.
2487537
Nope, they meant their mother mother, aka Tau Sunflare aka The Creator
2487365
Oh, it gets worst. Discord established in The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo that I am his father... and I am also the creator of Tydal, Zeena and Fuzzy... so apparently my fictional self and Tau Sunflare know each other quite well... brain bleach anyone?
2487520
Probably not... I'll let others write that story
And now the image of a Charizard mowing a lawn is stuck in my mind.
Foal Tydal is best Foal!
2486577 It's ADHD now; Psychologist today believe that both Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity go hoof n hoof.
2487159 Three things:
1. I wonder if the CMC (or is it now the CMB) could be added to that list?; according to Tydal's chapter in Scootaloo's orgins, at least she (I presume her two friends could be included as well) was brought into the world a a malevolent force to teach everyone a lesson or two on respecting their creator and her wishes.
2. So, when's Twilight going to meet Tau Sunflare, and learn all about her true heritage.
And finally, 3. 2488457
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/248/040/bb0.gif
2488457 Sorry, I'd pass some out, but I may have to use the factory now... Never enough brain bleach...
2488457
Nope, no brain beach required ~C. Spirit
Cadence complies with Child Labour laws? Or is it age of consent?
2486445
Both The Master and The Doctor can regenerate, also, given that MLP has it's own multiverse, he could be green and have pink polka dots and be female still be The Master.
2494643
As I told him, I based this Master off his final appearance, when he wore a black hoodie.
2494643 Well, f*** you.
2495729
Love you too, buddy.
2494753
Ah.
2497044 "We'll bang, okay?" - Cloud Kicker
2500394
*Holds up stick of dynamite in his left hand and a Cig-lighter in the other and grins evilly*
"Biggest bang ever!"
2501529
Oh. My. God.
I fucking love you, man. (no homo) I've been waiting so long for a Pokemon reference (BTW that was much more than a reference) and you gave it in the best way possible, with the Doctor, ponies, and a Charizard. At first, I thought he was going to use Flamethrower on the lawn or something, but you gave it a .
Also, I'm not looking forward to X and Y other than the new Mewtwo movie coming out and the reveal of Sylveon's evolution.
Finally,
HELL YEAH PHANPHY!
EDIT:
Should be everypony.
Nuts, i was hoping Sweetie could become The spike of the group with 87% less Butt monkey-ness...
2486407 Plan on going for Chespin myself. You ever need one, I can breed it, I guess.
wut? i liked dis chapta... PKMN reference for da win! why is i takin like dis? idk, is annoying...
2488457
*I toss you a bottle of brain bleach*
I half expected Charizard to set fire to the lawn.,
2529857
Aww yeah, Chesnaught ROCKS! In a figurative manner, as he's not literally rock-type...
2487170 hmm, Frank=F Rank, F=6th, therefore Frank= 6th Rank... By the Allspark!
For now.
Mommy dearest.