• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Darkonshadows


'Supposedly' evil.

T

Twilight after witnessing the summer sun celebration as a little filly, she decides to try and get into Celestia’s academy for gifted unicorns. Opening a book with a title that was missing a single letter on it's cover, Twilight picks up a rather interesting passion while studying for the entrance exam.

That's when things start to slowly 'grow' out of control.

Chapters (101)
Comments ( 472 )

This is entertaining. I can't wait to see what happens next.

More nuff said :eeyup:

This needs more reads, and I shall read the rest when I wake up in about 4 hours.

“Ma’am the Power Ponies are finally making a move on us. Also the one you wanted to know about appears to be wearing fake bee antenna and has a shirt that proclaims ‘hug bees’ on it. From what the reports say, she’s even holding a mug with one of her constructions and is slowly following the other Power Ponies while drinking from it. She appears to have saddle bags loaded with four gallons worth of unopened honeyed cider.”

A Freakazoid reference in My Little Pony?

SCREAM

:facehoof:

I am curious as to how well Twilight and Rarity will get along now.

Cliff hanger damn you to HELL!!!

Night, I promote you to best father. Bravo.

3847535 I 2nd this

Interesting. I was expecting the rest of the Mane 6 to have pretty much the same backstories since the Sonic Rainboom did happen. Now I'm curious as to what else you may have changed. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! :pinkiehappy:

3855432

Oh but that's the thing about all this. They do have the same back stories; the question is a matter of when they all arrived in Ponyville and when the Nightmare Moon scenario actually takes place. Rarity and Applejack are the only ponies who lived in Ponyville before every other pony arrived. Pinkie still has to leave the rock farm, Rainbow has to take a job as a weather mare and Fluttershy still has to learn about how to take care of animals from somewhere before she settles down in a position as an animal groundskeeper, part time veterinarian and pet sitter. Twilight has a plan to move to Ponyville sometime after she turns sixteen. Gilda and Rainbow still become relatively good friends. As for Fluttershy, she took a very large detour in life through Albuquerque by meeting Mane-iac AKA Tress Ravel.

Twilight didn't think she needed anyone in the original timeline because she thought herself self sufficient and could take care of Nightmare Moon on her own even if her mentor wasn't listening to her worries, she thought too highly of herself in that world until she was forced into accepting friendships via Celestia Ex Machina. In this timeline she is actively trying to make friends and will have no clue of Nightmare Moon, plus she actually applies her genius intellect.

The only back stories that have actually changed is Twilight's and Fluttershy could have possibly made a trip to Canterlot before she arrived in Ponyville, no one knows her history to really say when she finally ended up in Ponyville and if she ended up there at the same time as Rainbow Dash.

It's the smallest changes that can make the biggest impacts. Such as the way Barb was hatched having more impact than just Sunset Shimmer still being Celestia's student.

I'm really, really enjoying this. The well structured paragraphs and perfect (as far as I can see) grammar, spelling and whatnot are barely a reason for reading this as they're easily dwarfed by the great storyline thus far. Also the pretty much constant updates are fantastic, no pressure. So basically, love the storyline, love the quality, and just all around enjoy this great story. This is probably one of a very few stories I've enjoyed this much without it containing some unmoral act of some sort. I applaud you good sir/mam. *clap clap clap* :pinkiecrazy: Lookin forward to the rest of it. :ajsmug:

Wha....!?!? :twilightoops:

Dang it! Don't leave us hanging!

Given how you've portrayed Twilight's family, I half expected that cliffhanger to resolve something like that but you can never be too sure. Now that you've completely derailed the timeline, I really want to see how they deal with Nightmare Moon when the time comes.

Keep it up! It's a fun trip, more people need to get on board. :pinkiecrazy:

3869210
What he said, please. :fluttershysad:

This is a good and funny story I hope you continue it.

Awww... you took away her powers. *pouts* No fun. That was going to be one of the best parts...!

In my own imaginings...

...okay, the story was entertaining before she turned up so I'm not really going to stop reading.

Aww, i do hope they might visit twilight in the future or vise-versa.

Are you going to a a female Discord.

More goddamnit we need more (p.s great story)

Nah, nah nah nah nah, I'm lovin' it.

Nightmare Moon: The night shall last forever!

Twilight: Who does your mane? :twilightsheepish:

Nightmare Moon: Wait, What?

You know, you're moving into awfully murky territory with Smart. You keep saying that she's not really alive but so far you've given her the ability to be self sufficient in physical terms being powered by sun light, the ability to retain separate and distinct memories (though not stated directly), she clearly has the ability to perform tasks autonomously with creative problem solving skills to boot and certainly seems to experience some measure of emotion with an apparent female gender identity.
I really don't know what more she would need before being considered 'alive' by some standard if not the biological one. :trixieshiftright:

3891004 I wouldn't say that she's alive as a biological entity, but certainly up at the level of a pretty high tech AI or VI where the line between sentient and non-sentient blurs or breaks off. The reasoning is that she's like a D&D phylactery or Harry Potter horcrux in that she actually contains part of Twi's soul to animate her.

so yea I'm surprised that this story hasn't been featured yet, It feels like one of the featured story's to me.:twilightsmile:

'Tis a wee bit lazy.

3896546 Well I suppose since there isn't really an official definition it would come down to more a personal opinionated definition. I would personally judge an AI capable of higher thinking and emotional response as alive. That's why this is an uncertain situation for me... then again, that could be the idea on the part of the Darkonshadows here. :duck:

If you fail at failing does that mean you've succeeded?

Still waiting for the meetup with Rarity... that mane. :raritystarry:

“Anyway this is Fluttershy, she followed me home. So can we keep her?”

So Fluttershy is now a pet?

Loved the rhymes at the end.

ScopeEva #32 · Feb 6th, 2014 · · 3 · 17 ·

I apologise if I'm mistaken but... it feels like you have a bit of a bias against males. I mean, I know the show rarely focus on male characters but this story feels like it's going out of it's way to push them as far to the side lines as possible. :unsuresweetie:

Again, I apologise if I'm mistaken as this story has been very entertaining so far, even if Twilight fells like she's going through things far to easily. I can be a bit paranoid when it comes to Marry Sues.

The feels :fluttercry:

3902754

You see, this is why I think it's a bad story and that I'm not a good writer. Stuff like that. Your opinion matters just as much as anybody's.

What bias? Night, Saddle Rager, Humdrum, Matter Horn, Shining Armor, The Waiter, Harry the bear, a cardinal and Zapp are all male characters and mentioned. I just don't focus on male characters and have yet had a great reason to.

Can you give me a good reason to have focus on male ponies when the places most of the male characters introduced in the show live nowhere near Canterlot? Fancy Pants, Jet Set and Blueblood are nobles in Canterlot and maybe with the exception of Fancy Pants they'd rather have nothing to do with Twilight's life. Jet Set and Blueblood have no reason to mingle with commoners and since Twilight is not Celestia's student, she counts as beneath their notice.

Twilight is easily a mary sue, because she is very much one in the cartoon. Incredible magic power to lift an Ursa Minor and perform several different spells at once while doing so and later is shown to answer a tough math question off the top of her head and teleport dance? What about the flipping gravity on her own body thng? If that wasnt enough, let's have Celestia send her Starswirls journal so she can turn herself into an alicorn with the same epiphany she keeps reliving again and again which is all one word and that being 'friendship'.

This story is not Dark, Sad or even labeled Adventure much less Slice of Life, sometimes people have easy lives and can go through them without breaking a limb or something exciting happening to them at all.

3903179
3902754

For some reason I found it funny. This is a show originally intended for young girls, regardless of its current fanbase. 90% of the character focus in the show is on the females. to claim the author has a bias against men in this genre actually gave me a case of the giggles.
3902754 why are you even reading in this fandom? Not that I have anything against men myself (being one makes that difficult). Other than Big Mac, no other male character is really defined (well except for Spike I guess) beyond a shallow character archtype. Many authors simply work with what they have.

I'm enjoying this story immensely and at no point did I feel that there was any male subjugation going on.

And yes, Twilight is extremely Mary Sue except for when the show's writers don't want her to be. That whole bit in the Tree of Harmony episode pissed me off. Being done in by a few plant vines? Besides teleporting out or telekinesis that could tie them up or rip them out of the ground, she could have easily burnt them up or blasted them. Heck, she could have turned them into oranges for crying out loud!

Cliff hanger

3907154
Thankyou captain obvious.

3909845 your welcome :trollestia:

So, Tress and Twilight think Rarity's "Bounce" is the rough equivalent of the late 80's-early 90's "Crimp everything but the bangs, and curl and tease and hairspray those into a bird's nest?"

Lol, not what I was expecting. Thank you for such a creative divergence from my obvious expectations. It was a pleasant surprise.

I absolutely LOVE this story! Tress is an amazing pony that you have masterfully written. She's adorable and I want one. Watching this story and I can't wait for more! :heart:

Well, the cat is out of the sack. It had to happen sooner or later. Now to see how Tress handels the situation.

... <Engaging security clearance 84 :initiate full safety protocols: :grabbing more popcorn:>:trollestia:

Wow, Rarity really put her hoof in it. What will she do to make up for it I wonder?

Yea I can understand that. But I give you Kudos for getting these chapters out so fast and consistently.:twilightsmile:

Your story is still interesting, and I'm following it update to update. It will be interesting seeing the next update tomorrow, even if it is less than two thousand words. it will be interesting to see.:twilightsmile:

This really is a good story however I feel that the pacing is a bit slow.

The story is fantastic so far, I can understand how after a while of writing a story it seems to become mundane, and really it's pretty awesome you could keep up 23 days of consistent narrative. 2500 words minimal no less. Don't worry about Rarity, believe it or not it's pretty common for a writer to not get every characters personality 100% accurate:derpytongue2:.
Also, in terms of editing, why not try writing up a fake chapter or something then give it to a bunch of volunteers. Then get whoever you think did a good job and let them have a go at a chapter or two. Warning though: be careful, make them send you the edited copy first until you trust them. Don't ask about it.
Uhhh what else? Oh well it really is your story, so if you want to stop writing it no-one can really pull a Misery on you here. Do whatever the heck you feel you like to do and have fun with it.:twilightsmile:

Regardless of how you feel, I am enjoying this story immensely. I even like that you figuratively turn left when I really expected a right turn with Rarity. It's always refreshing to me to have something different and unique when I'm reading. Too many stories fall into cliches.

As far as making things up as you go, you'd be surprised how many professional authors go that route. Heck, I never thought more than a chapter or two ahead in my own writing. Granted I only ever finished one story and haven't written anything in years.

Anyway, I like the amount of detail you put into your chapters. There is no need to hurry up and get to the point even though it will be an exciting journey I'm sure.

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