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Kindle wood had been imprision since Luna was banish. But Celestia now needs his help. every pony has fail her so far. so she make a deal with Kindle.

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Sagacity

Sagacity #1 · Mar 8th, 2013 · · ·

Kindle wood had been imprision since Luna was banish.

Kindle Wood? Kindlewood? Pick one.
Has he been imprisoned or in prison? Pick one, doesn't really matter.
Since Luna was banished. Past tense.

every pony has fail her so far. so she make a deal with Kindle.

Everypony has failed her so far, so she makes a deal with Kindle.

You are in desperate need of a brave, brave editor. Read this.
Out of curiosity, what is your native language? Something Balto-Slavic, I'm guessing.

Mr Pones

Mr Pones #2 · Mar 8th, 2013 · 1 · ·

2233342
Apology for poor english,
Where were you when Luna was banish?
I was at home eating smegma butter whan pjoltr ring
"Luna is banish"
"no"

(that's all I could think about when reading the description)

Sagacity

Sagacity #3 · Mar 8th, 2013 · 3 · ·

2233365

Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream. Is same cloud.

Q: What are one potato say other potato? A: Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. Please, no more.

Goodbye

Goodbye #4 · Mar 8th, 2013 · · ·

I might take a stab at editing at least some of this later if you want?
just some rough editing, something to do during school to keep away boredom.

DaemoN67

DaemoN67 #5 · Mar 8th, 2013 · · ·

2233393
oregonrural.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Potato.jpeg

Pon13

Pon13 #6 · Mar 8th, 2013 · · ·

right...

Orginal

Kindle walk around village. The building seem bent out of shape. Like a giant had lean on them. The were bent up in a like old trees trunks. Kindle walk down the stone path. Everyone was looking at him. He look down. There was blood on the ground. He cocked his head to the side. Was he bleeding? He look up. There was smoke pouring from a building a head. He had the feeling that he needed to get there. He try to run to in but his hooves were stuck in the mud. It seem to wrap around them. He look back to the burning Building. It was engulf in flames. He felt the ground sucking him down. His head was soon cover.

Edit

Kindle walked around village. The building seemed bent out of shape, almost like if a giant had leant on them. They were twisted and old, like ageing tree trunks. Kindle walked down the stone path. He looked down while everyone were looking at him. He noticed the blood trail behind him that trickled along the grooves of the path.
He cocked his head to the side. "Am I bleeding" He thought to himself? As he didn't feel no pain from his wound.
Smoke and embers filled the nights sky, A building was engulfed, flames roared out of the windows and bellowed out of the roof. Something urged him to get to the building; he wasn't sure why. could it be he needed to help somepony? did he live there? all he knew that he need to get there fast. Kindle tried to race towards the burning building but his legs protested, looking down he realise his hooves was an inch deep in mud. The more he struggled the mud continued to creep up his legs, pulling him under. He watched the building start to crumble under the immense heat. Shear panic set in, he knew he had to move, he grunted has he tried to pull his legs out of the mud, but no avail - it was too late the mud was already up to his shoulders.
Tears and panic, Kindle flailed around trying to escape his claustrophobic demise, but unforgivably the mud eventually block out the night sky.
Kindle shot up in his bed, gasping for the air he much needed from his dream...

See what I did there? it's called fleshing it out. Plus correcting your tense errors. It took me 10 minutes to re-write those few paragraphs. read back through it and edit.
The first paragraph is the most important, it got to draw the readers in. Make them feel you characters, bring them alive with description as you fail to do.
The reason I didn't add it into my edit is because I don't have a clue about Kindles appearance, all I know he's called Kindle, he has something to do with fire (hence the name and the burning building in his dream) and he's male.

Grab a pen and pencil or use notepad on your pc and jot down kindles appearance, personality, how he fits in your universe, and the out line of the plot.

I hope this helps. Also don't just copy and paste the paragraph in to your story, else you wont learning anything. Write your own you can use mine as a guide if you like.

Hurgusburgus