Twilight Sparkle: Wedding Planner. This goes about as well as one would expect.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Tumbleweed
A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).
Tumbleweed
Joined 30th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
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Tumbleweed · 11k words · 479 13 · 9.3k views
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Hilarious.
Very well done sir.
I don't know who gave this a low rating this is personally one of my favorite stories.
GLORIOUS! I-It's simply amazing. 5 stars of awesome go to you.
Love it!
This is so funny-a bridezilla pony!
That was so good! Funniest fic I read to date xD
I think I've read this before? On Equestria Daily.
Nonetheless, I love it.
HAH! nice!
"Y'know, i used to keep saying that" Lyra trotted out from a throng of ponies, Bon Bon close at her side,
Must resist urge to make skyrim referance...
This story is wall-to-wall hilarity. I love it.
"Gasp!" Rarity said the full word.
I adore this running joke. I laughed every time this happened, without fail.
"Don't worry baby, I'll give her your special binder and everything. And I'll make her give it back later so you have the keepsake." Lyra nodded. "Now let's get you home and into a warm bath, hm?"
Lyra is best fiancee. D'awww.
"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Pinkie Pie said, "they're totally gonna do it when they get home!"
ilu, Pinkie Pie. Never change.
The entire groom/tuxedo discussion between Rarity and Applejack: LOVE.
"No rope!" Twilight Sparkle said.
Also never got tired of this running joke either. Yay, running jokes!
"YOU CAN KEEP YOUR STUPID DRESS! I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY! THE HEMLINE KEEPS RIDING UP AND IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A TANK!"
Very nice reference.
The corner of Rarity's eye twitched. "Oh. I will show you overrated. " Her horn began to glow, and the unicorn lowered her head to aim it right at Twilight's door.
HA. Rarity might be my favorite in this story. She gets some of the best moments, though really, all of the moments are great.
The pink pony pulled Twilight in very, very close, and whispered. "It's called whiskey."
Oops, I changed my mind! Pinkie's my favorite now! At least, until somepony else says something hilarious.
This, for the record, had gotten Lyra to stop playing. Barely.
Oh, look, Lyra is my favorite pony now!
"HA! In your face, everypony else! Who's winning? I'm winning! 'Cause I'm Rainbow Dash, and winning is what I do! That, and be awesome. By winning!" She shook the bouquet in the general direction of her landbound friends.
I love that Rainbow just cares about winning, anything, everything, and it doesn't even matter to her that she doesn't know WHAT she's winning. Also enjoyed "go do pegasus stuff."
"I'm...confused." Rarity wobbled about again- only to find Applejack there to provide a very steady shoulder to lean upon. "And thirsty."
"Shh." Applejack said, as subtly as she could.
Pinkie Pie winked at the pair. This did not help.
Funny RariJack is best RariJack. Also, I love Pinkie's utter lack of subtlety or, really, any sense of social propriety. Pinkie tells it like it IS, yo.
Great story!
It's kind of odd, every single Lyra x Bon Bon story or drawing I've seen has Bon Bon as the girlier of the two, for some reason.
yay
that was awesome. well, now i have to go do pegasus stuff. bye 
Shenanigans all up in this bitch. And it's beautiful.
So funny! You! I shall be watching you!
A very entertaining read for a train ride to work.
Boosh
For a fic going on 40 weeks, that's a sweet vote ratio.
Shenanigans...'Nuff said.
Very nice and enjoyable. My only negative comments would be that you didn't always use the proper pony puns, I saw you wrote anybody, first hand, and foolish for starters. Other than that, I felt that perhaps Applejack's accent was written a bit too heavily in comparison to the show, Pinkie Pie's humor was a little too adult and less Pinkie Pie (although in some ways that's just a preference, I just felt she was a little out of place in the story. Pinkie is supposed to be random and out of place, but she just didn't, fit. And not in a good, variation way. But that's just my opinion), and finally that Bon Bon was far too, unenjoyable. This is less of a brony remark and more of a literary one. Bon Bon as a character within this short story was introduced yelling at Pinkie for an unreasonable and un-relatable cause. Now, that's not intrinsically bad, but overall the reader experiences Bon Bon being not Bon Bon. Lyra explains that she's "not normally like this", but the audience primarily understands the character of Bon Bon as being, well, "crazy" as Rainbow Dash puts it, within the context of the piece. Regardless of the subject matter, if a character is supposed to be having a drastic change, metamorphosis, reveal, or otherwise deviation from normal behavior, the audience needs to experience this normality, preferably before the alteration in action. If not, despite if this presented behavior is supposed to be abnormal, the reader or viewer will experience it as the norm. If a computer program were to interpret how the character Bon Bon typically behaved just from this story, it would think she usually acted like a highly angry, loud, and unreasonable pony, as this effectively summarizes what was presented. Her mental breakdowns don't have an effect on the audience like they do with say Pinkie's in Party of One, Rainbow's in Sonic Rainboom, Twilight's in Lesson Zero, Applejack's in Applebuck Season, Rarity's in Suited for Success, or Fluttershy's in The Grand Galloping Gala, because in all six of those instances, we as an audience know this is a clear deviation from normal behavior, even in a closed view of each episode individually, as we are shown their normal behavior first and afterwards. In this, we are given a few instances of not yelling, but in my personal experience I really really really did not like Bon Bon by the end of this. She was only truly presented as this enraged screeching prig, and while there were some sparse sweet moments of not yelling, they were more rare and broke up the screaming, when the opposite should be true. Otherwise the proper effect isn't achieved and the character just comes off as unpleasant.
Okay, that was WAY too long a ramble, and negative one at that. I only focused so much on complaints because I've always loved criticism of my own work, and consequently I always come off as bitter and negative when reviewing work, as that's what I like to receive. (This comment is very hypercritical and ironic) Despite that rant, I really liked this story. My complaints really were minor, and this has earned my like and favorite. I'm interested to see what you do in the future.
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Thanks for the review! That's a rather interesting take on the story- and since you typed up so much stuff already, I figured I might as well hammer out a quick reply.
To begin, Pinkie Pie's more 'adult' humor is just part of my style, I guess. I'm a sucker for a cheap gag, and there's always comic potential in juxtaposing more adult-ish themes with magic cartoon ponies. It's a fine line, though, as I prefer not to get outright scandalous in my stories- it's more fun to toe the line than to delve into outright clopfic.
As for Bon Bon, you're completely right. She is a bit of a one-note character in the story...and she's kind of supposed to be. Bon Bon is, after all, a background pony, so there's not an established personality for me to draw on. And really, on top of that, Bon Bon and Lyra aren't really the stars of the story, so much as the driving forces that Twilight & Co have to react to. Or really, just an opportunity for me to work in some wedding jokes and stuff using ponies (and well before "A Canterlot Wedding," I might add!). I'd equate Bon Bon's role in the story as equivalent to, say, Photo Finish or Cranky Donkey or any other peripheral character that comes in to shake things up. And again, since it's comedy, it's fun to play up certain traits in order to facilitate gags and such. I basically look at it like a sitcom with guest characters, y'know?
In any case, glad to hear you enjoyed the story! (Though which parts, I wonder?) And I humbly suggest you read some of my other work, as the stories are all loosely connected together in vague continuity. Strange Bedfillies (Or: No one loves Twilight Sparkle) would be the immediate sequel, but it hinges a little more on the Adult-ish comedy than this one. Folks seem to like it anyway, though! :)
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Of course I'll check out your other stories.
...No one loves Twilight Sparkle, eh? I'm quite intrigued by that title.
That was thoroughly hilarious and overall a fun story. I really liked the more adult nature Pinkie Pie had while still remaining Pinkie. nice job
Now RariJack
This story killed me. :D
Screeching Bon Bon made me uncomfortable, but otherwise this was pretty funny. I'm glad Twilight took the freakout into account.
Oh sure. We get TwiPie and RariJack action but you leave out the FlutterDash? You really know how to tease a shipper.
Should've had Discord there for some FlutterCord. They're my favorite pairing!
This was still adorable, especially the RariJack and how Rarity just automatically assumed she would be at AJ's wedding, one way or another.
even thought I donĀ“t agree with the pairings you chose in the end, the story is good. favourite
My all-time favorite story, alongside with What do You do With a Drunken Unicorn?.
A fun read.
The meltdowns were very good.
It is terrifyingly easy to picture this happening in the wake of "The Big Mac Question" with just a few adjusted variables. A little more snark from Lyra ("Oh, now you remember I went to school with you,") a little more license-to-kill from Bonbon, and so forth. Of course, it does still work much better if set before the loss of Golden Oaks. Still throughly amusing throughout. Thank you for it; I wish I'd read it years ago.
Thanks for the fic!
I love this story! It has the kind of clever humor just like we would see in the show. The mane 6 have lines that make them feel just like how they are on the show too.