• Member Since 7th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 12th, 2022

EveryponyEqual


Comments ( 55 )

This is your first fanfic?

...Kid, you're going places.

I enjoyed this.

This is your FIRST fanfic?! Damn, this is seriously well written.
Mind if I add it to a folder for the Fillyfoolers Group?

2589343

Thank you, I'd like to think I am :3

2589372

I don't mind at all. Go for it.

Damn fine job for your first..Keep up the good work..

2589618
Awesome. Here's to hoping for more great stories from you.

Great story, only spotted one or two formatting errors, but they dont ruin the story :twilightsmile: I think you wrote don;t instead of don't, and spelt for as fir, both near the top.

But other than that, awsome story, flowed well, a like and favorite for you.

2589911

Oops, thanks for pointing those out. Now I can fix them right away.

And thanks for the like and fave.

A pleasant day to you sir/Madam

For your first, this is pretty good! A couple of structural issues, but definitely nothing that can't be overlooked. So hey, good job!

If you can think of a way to further this story, feel free to do so. That'd be cool! But if you can't, don't worry about it. :twilightsmile:

Something about the sentence structure puts a little bit off. You keep using commas where I would've used periods, and yet the entire thing feels slightly rushed, moving from one action to the next. All of this are just minor nitpicks, though, and you have more than earned my thumbs up. We eagerly await your next work.

2591805

Any pointers you could give, assuming you don't mind?

you got yourself an upvote and a new follower, my friend. And as for requests?.. Thick curvy anthro ponies. But I will consume whatever literature that you fabricate next. Keep it real, Chums! :pinkiehappy:

Wait, this is your first? You sure? You are extremely well off if this is your first! I love this story, and I normally don't like clop!

reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/orson_wells_Slow-Clap.gif

2592061
Hmm...Don't think it's anything I can pinpoint, tbh. It may end up just being more my failure in reading than your failure in writing. I will, however, point out that using the word "fillyhood" in the story description is questionable when this is humanized :P

Good job, humanized fic and you used the word mare though "she'd considered saying no, doubting the mare's prowess" other than that solid fic

damn. this is really good!

followin'

Wow, take a like and a follow, GOOD SHOW :pinkiecrazy:

idk if you've done one with Big Mac and somepony, but you should! That is one I would most definitly read!

BTW, definitly following!

Damn dude. That was pretty good. Sure as hell better than my first. I look foreword to your other stories.

Ha...ha...ha....:ajbemused:
Freaking candy pun....:rainbowlaugh:
Good show.:yay:

Just one thing that I caught while reading it.
If they're both sitting in a bathtub full of warm water doesn't that mean they'd have to hold their breath during the oral sex?

Other than that good work for your first fic.

" She'd considered saying no, doubting the mare's willingness."....

Absolutely incredible job man. Can't wait for future works from you~<3
And if I had one request, it would be a Spitfire X Rainbow Dash clop. I can't find one anywhere...

Ya got a talent for this... this is your FIRST? encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzMqnBD9ekHhMwNvsPN4cng1byHVDUOhnYoQWLapUbuBMBwQY4
Well good job, it isn't easy to make a human fic (clop or not) interesting.

Keep it going! But I could have done a
Without the skittles puns though I did laugh at them

waitwaitwait, this is your FIRST Fic?! Gosh man I'm impressed. I'm gonna go ahead and follow you now.

This is one of the best Flutterdash clopfics that I ever had the pleasure to read thank you for giving us this boner inducing work of art.

As I was reading this and got to "She tasted like skittles." I couldn't help but 'Taste the rainbow, bitch!'And then the end of the story with "I guess I really wanted to taste the rainbow" Kind of made my go on a skydiving trip. Good show lad, especially for your first.

I died of laughter at the first Skittles joke. Then I read the second, and died all over again. :rainbowlaugh:

Taste the Rainbow:rainbowlaugh:

I would definitely like you to keep going with this story, you are really good at writing if this was your first.Great great great great great great great great job.:publishable: :yay:

First story I read on here ^-^ was great! only problem is you used the term "rainbow haired girl" too much, just saying rainbowdash is fine ^^ but besides that i loved it! :pinkiehappy:

Hey bud great first story. I noticed you had a few grammatical errors. I would point them out but im too drunk to remember what they were. Keep up the good work

holy hell, yes. continue this fic.:fluttershyouch::rainbowwild: (if ya know what I mean)

This is a good read, you should continue the story. But now after reading this, I want a pack of skittles.
No really I'm going to get a pack right now.

After all what would Fluttershy had though had she caught Dash?

Used the word “though” instead of “thought”

"It won;t be that bad.:

You have a semicolon instead of an apostrophe and a colon instead of a quotation mark.

You've been tempting me all night.:

Again, you have a colon instead of a quotation mark

"Well, um, you...Do kind of look like a boy because of the short hair..."

Why is the word “do” capitalized?

Ugggggghh those jokes but still good :P

Dash went over to the microwave to check how much longer it would take for their snack to be done. "Really, still over a minute?" he slapped the microwave.

he slapped the microwave

he

:facehoof:

you seem to have for gotten that they were in a bath tub while having sex

Your a great writer. I hope you continue the story. Maybe even drag pinkie pie in to the ordeal.:pinkiehappy: Now I want skittles! :raritydespair:

3269151

I'm thinking about it, but first I got to finish the 49287 requests I have. It's been months and I haven't even gotten one done, but unfortunately work comes first.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!! Amazing.. Just. Amazing

First one?, damn man you are really good :moustache:

you just earned a follower :D

I knew the minute that she said that Rainbow tasted like skittles that "Taste the Rainbow" was going to be said. I just knew it. Love the story by the way

2589343 Agreed, you almost perfectly portrayed these characters, even if it was clop.

Very well written for a first one. I'd say continue, I liked it!

The skittles joke I love it

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I just want to point out that "finished her business" usually suggests someone on the toilet.

6840400 That moment were you look down at the comments and see the last person you expected to see leaving a comment on an old clop fic. :derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment