Glimmer Skipper Spitter
"Does striped boomer fear heights and spit?"
In the back of the wagon, Pilate lifted his head with a furrowed brow. "Huh?"
"Does striped boomer fear heights and—"
"I... uhm..." Pilate gulped. "No. I mean, well, maybe when I'm being tossed several thousand feet from a Ledomaritan zeppelin to my doom, then sure." He gave a shuddering breath. "Jury's still out on whether or not I'm dead and this is all some post mortem delusion of my firing synapses."
"Boomer would do well not to be afraid of heights."
"And sp-spit, right?"
"A'glimmer is the boomer's mind."
"Why do you ask?" Pilate gulped. "I mean, what does height have to do with anything?"
"Upon the tower of the stabby stabby horses have Floydien and boomer arrived."
"Huh?" Pialte shot up straight in the wagon, his ears twitching. "The tower? Already?" He frowned, suddenly. "Wait. What in Spark's name are we going to do with the tower?"
"Shhh! The spitters of the glimmer arrive."
"What?" Pilate whispered. Just then, the wagon came to a creaking stop. He heard the sound of grass and pine needles crunching as two sets of hooves strolled up from ahead of them.
"Well welll well... what do we have here?" uttered a stallion's voice.
"Is there a fair this deep in the forest?" chirped another in an amused voice. "Cuz you three are certainly a motley crew."
Pilate did a blind double-take. "Three?!" He was silenced by a cloven hoof placed against his lips.
"Never mind the boomer of stripes and more stripes," Floydien said. "Stabby stabby horses shall forthwith give their glimmer skipper to Floydien."
"What... in the Queen's lacy bridle is he going oin about?"
"Excuse me, mister. Would you mind repeating yourself?"
"The glimmer skipper above," the voice hissed. "Give give to Floydien Floydien."
Just then, Pilate tilted his skull. He thought he heard the tell-tale sounds of tight ropes creaking along a series of moorings high overhead.
"Pffft—What?! You mean you want our zeppelin?"
"Hahaha! Ohhhhh that's rich."
"That's the property of Queen Ledo, you moronic forest hippie!"
"Besides, your antlers would just get tangled with the steering controls."
"Stabby stabby spit-glimmers do not like the taste of Floydien's words," uttered the voice, suddenly taking on a cold, menacing tone. The air danced with static energy. "Perhaps some sugar the boomers need. Yes yes yes. Would go down like their mother's vomit."
"Hey! Watch it, creep!"
The forest snapped with the sound of a manarifle cocking. "Alright, 'fess up. What are you doing out here in the middle of nothing and what's with the zebra?"
"Ew—What's with the metal stuff all over the zebra's head? Are you three a bunch of freaks or what?!"
"Floydien has given the boomers a warning. Stay true to their names, they shall, yes yes..."
A loud hum filled the air. Pilate was taken back by how familiar it sounded. His skull and neck tingled in alternating currents.
"Whoah! What the—"
"What's th-that in your hooves?! And the heck's going on with your antlers?!"
"Floydien shall cuddle Floydien's Nancy Jane—even if he must do it through smelly boomers!" Just then, a crack of unearthly thunder rolled through the forest.
Pilate gasped, for suddenly he could see. A flash of bright, blinding light flickered through his mind, and etched in the center of it was the frozen effigies of two unicorn stallions in pure horror. As everything returned to black, he heard the resulting tumult of the energy blast. One body flew against a tree like a sandbag, littering the wagon and the path around it with leaves.
"Augh!" Pilate stammered, collapsing across the wagon and gripping his skull. "Good heavens! What...?!"
"Put down your weapon!" The other Ledomaritan shouted.
"A boomer's commands is spit as spit is spit!" Floydien's hooves swiveled against the dirt. There was another pulse of energy and—
Pilate's mind flashed once more. This time he saw the torso of the second stallion in agonized pain. As soon as the white light faded, he heard the grunting sound of the enforcer striking a bed of leaves beside the wagon.
"Nnnngh!" Pilate heaved, panting for breath. He raised a pair of hooves to his skull and felt that his metal plate was burning red hot. With a twitching expression, he rolled over and shouted, "O.A.S.I.S...." He gulped. "The sphere wasn't destroyed at all! Y-you have it!"
"The striped boomer's glimmer is most righteous," Floydien growled as the air filled once more with crackling mana. "Will carve the skies to Nancy Jane as Nancy Jane sees it."
Hissing metal doors open. The bodies of three stallions stampeded out, shouting. "Halt right there!" Manarifles lit up like fire crackers. The wagon exploded in several places.
Floydien's body could be heard rolling aside, followed by a venomous hiss, "Give Floydien the cloud skipper or spit forevermore!" Another pulse of energy hummed.
"No!" Pilate shouted, angry to the point of snarling. "The O.A.S.I.S. sphere is not a weapon—"
It was too late, for Pilate's mind burned with burning white plasma. He envisioned himself flying like a missile straight towards the base of an open tower. Three stallions shrieked and dove to the side right as the brightness reached a boiling point. His ears popped, and he was reeling in the darkness to the sound of settling thunder.
"Pizz fah wizz!" Floydien exclaimed. "Boomers are like potatoes. Nopony wants to touch them when they're hot. Yes?" The air rang from the sound of cloven hooves cradling a metal sphere. "Yes yesssss... "
"Mmmmf..." Pilate sat back up, shaking his head. "What... why... wh-why are you doing all this?!" He fought the fog of a migraine. "Just for a zeppelin? All I want is to find my beloved! I'm not out to hurt ponies!"
"Good thing Floydien does the hurting for boomer's stripes and non-hurting, yes yes?"
"Blast it, I need explanations!" Pilate barked. "Where are we going?! Why are you tossing around enforcers?! And is there really a third pony with us—" His breath left him at the touch of four tiny paws perched on his backside. "Gaaah!"
"Some boomers have bushy tails and some do not." A cloven hoof reached in and the set of paws climbed off of Pilate to mount the limb. "Less spit and more spirit, boomer. We have a skipper to fly to Nancy Jane." Then hoof then tugged at Pilate's forelimbs.
"Whoah!" He grunted as he fell like a dead weight out of the wagon.
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Oh, that throws a wrench in the works. Third
ponyequine, and OASIS present. Hrm.... Why have I been checking Fimfic at exactly the same time the new chapters come out the past few days? Moreover, how am I doing it? Whatever.
It is like the darkest version of wonderland for Pilate.
2341903
>tiny paws
I would venture a feline or smaller.
2341926
Party member, then. I think that's the closest I'm going to get.
wait... what? Floydien junior?
im confused.
My reaction to this chapter:
2341926
Could be a squirrel. Would fit in with the tiny paws and the "bushy tails" Floydien mentions, unless he was referring to Pilate.
"Jury's still out on whether or not I'm dead and this is all some post mortem delusion of my firing synapses"
snkkt
Can I go ahead and call it?
That "third" person is the Zeppelin merchant from End of Ponies. This is how he gets his Zeppelin. He is the Pilot.
Now I want to see how he gets Dragon Skin armor.....
Brucie! Do I win a prize?
2342071 I thought a squirrel was likely too. But would a Ledomaritan really refer to it? I figure most ponies would only count equine creatures, but the guard definitely says there's three of them. It's possible that the third one really is a squirrel or cat or something that's normally nonsapient, but is wearing something or otherwise looks like it has some intelligence. Either that or the guard counts pets and whatnot too.
2342071
If it wasn't before, it is now.
2342095
Brucie, and heh.
2342156
The guards have a mocking tone, thus it's more a joke at Floydian's expense, considering the animal as a third member to mockingly placate him.
Interesting. I like how these are written. I feel about as blind as Pilate.
oh hey this is a nice chapter what could possibly go wro- SQUIRREL!
Looks like turning ponies into weapons is a thing now.
Not having any visuals described is a weird experience. I like it!
Im calling it right now, the other party member is 2342343. Because it is.
God damn it Floydien give the zebra his manasphere!
... Magic squirrel??
2342243 Good point, I missed that. So it likely is an animal, and I think it'll probably be a squirrel, though I wouldn't be surprised if the "bushy tail" thing was a red herring, and it turned out to be some other small animal.
i think Floydian is certifiably insane.
2342263
There is a chance that we will see more of that narrative style when we segue back to the young Xonan foal.
I wish to submit a request for moar headsplosions. Headsplosions are cool.
No. Bad Floydien. OASIS is not a death ray.
Well, glimmer is glimmer and if it works as a spell focus, I can't really blame him. Pilate is in for some headaches but we must all do parts, yes yes?
What confuses me is that this third thing - indeed most likely a squirrel - was considered a person by the enforcers, not a pet. I mean, does he look like he speaks Squirrel? What do we know, we're blind. Is spit. Floydien pls.
Edit: I should read the comments more carefully. I see this thought has been brought up before.
i am morbidly confused by Pilate's situation, but that's to be expected since he can't see.
2344118
You have no imagination. Just because it isn't designed to wreck everybody's day doesn't mean it can't.
2342071
I didn't pick up on that while reading. Good catch
It's tough to pull off a convincing blind narrative, but so far this has been pretty good.
I have to agree with 2342263 too, what kept me going originally was the mystery and the beautiful descriptions, I feel like the story has lost a little something.
Lastly, I'm looking forward to them getting out of this kingdom, to be honest.
OASIS Gun?
I'm liking this idea.
Pilot gets to live up to his name.
I never would've thought that you could use OASIS as a focus.
2344118 Floydien disagrees, yes...
I wonder how many years its going to be before I mentally stop tacking on "Criminal Scum" every time I hear that line.
Also this chapter =
I like it. Everyone else is saying the little thing that's apparently been tagging along with them the whole time is a squirrel, so I'mma just go with that too. Also, yay, O.A.S.I.S is still around! And being used to disintegrate ponies. For science! Well, off to the next one - onward!
Its like using a camera's lens for a laser focus.
interesting way to use OASIS, i like it!
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So Floydien's character just took a rather dark turn. He didn't really seem to care much for Pilate's well being...that and he kept O.A.S.I.S. away from Pilate for a long time. And what's this about a third traveler? It just befuddles me. This whole thing makes me wonder what our friend Floyd is willing to risk for his Nancy Jane down the line...These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
2344118
It is now! :D
2371168 Well it appears that I have finally caught up to you!
2371168
At this point, I'm starting to wonder more if Nancy Jane is what she appears to be (i.e Floydien's beloved captured by the Ledomaritans), than how far he is willing to go to get to her. (my guess at this point: very, VERY far.).
I do think we have a monkey along! Or a squirrel.
Floydien is hilarious.
So O.A.S- 
I'm not doing all those dots. So OASIS still exists and works, and Floydien is using it. 
-SPirit
Interesting. Very interesting. I can't wait to learn more about Floydien.
FORSHADOWWWWWING
Alright, I'm back after a brief 2-week hiatus due to school related issues. Starting in on tape 4 of the rainbow tapes. Not sure if I can finish the whole thing tonight, but gash dernit, I'll try.
So, im thinkin Nancy Jane is dead and Floydien has a death wish. the third traveler sounds like a cat considering it had four small paws and was small enough to perch on Pilate's back.
Hmm. So Floidian's a crazy genius then. He's totally bonkers, but also smart enough to figure out how to apparently augment his magic using OASIS.
Hopefully he doesn't go crazy on Pilate if Pilate tries to take the orb back.
well that is one way to get the job done.
What we know of Floydien thus far: he's absolutely bonked...and may also be a genius.
For some reason this particular line really tickles me.
Forest hippie? A deer? A moose? Yeah, I'm hoping moose, that would be funny.
Also, yay, the O.A.S.I.S. sphere isn't lost!
Two theories: Pilate's companions are a pair of creatures - possibly either
1) telepathic or even sharing a single consciousness, so they don't talk to each other and both speak in the same voice
2) one of them doesn't talk at all, and might be mute
The name "Floydien Floydien" hints that they're actually introducing themselves in the plural.
Or maybe Floydien has a kid or a pet with him.
---
2017-03-30! Four years left!
Gahhhh!!!!!
The love of all that is good and holy, that is my trigger word!!! POTATOES! EEEEEEEE!
This Floydien guy is starting to confuse me