A Convenient Inconvenience
Josho's eyes were the first to open. He squinted, his bloodshot cornea squinting against the noonday sun. He winced openly, running a hoof over his skull. Stirring besides the fallen managlider against which he was reclined, the obese stallion stretched his crackling joints. He looked at his right forelimb, seeing a tall empty bottle held in the crook of his hoof. With a sigh, he glanced at his left side—then did a double-take.
Eagle Eye was curled up against him, his soft head resting innocently across the larger stallion's midsection. His lavender body rose and fell with tiny breaths.
Josho blinked. At last, he groaned, rolling his eyes. He positioned himself to shove the petite pony off him, but ultimately hesitated. After a few seconds, he sighed, lying back against the metal vehicle once more. He blew out the edge of lips and glanced across the empty countryside.
Only it wasn't empty anymore; several equine shadows stood before him.
"Crap biscuits!" Josho grunted, hopping up to his hooves in a flash. He raised the bottle like a weapon and swung it around with a glowing horn. In the meantime, Eagle Eye dangled from his forelimb, snorting awake.
"Huh?! What?! Oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez!" Eagle Eye shrieked as his hooves flailed.
"Silence, kid!" Josho snarled. "I got these mana-huffing tattoo fetishists—"
With a flash of blue light, an entire phalanx of manarifles stared the enforcer down. The first of several soldiers marched forward. Stepping out of the shine of the bright day's glare, he turned out to be wearing a purple beret. "At ease," he said. "We're not Xonans." The stallion's eyebrow raised. "We would, however, like to know what you two are doing out here with this abandoned hovercraft."
Josho blinked. He dropped the bottle and snickered awkwardly. "Yes... well... you see..." He thrusted his limbs down, forcing Eagle Eye to balance himself on all fours. "There were... uhm... foxes. Tons of suicidal foxes and..."
"Did they bind you two together?" The officer asked.
Josho shook his head. "Oh, no. That was the Killas."
"Killas...?"
"Diamond dogs enslaving stallions to harvest giant sapphires out of the earth."
The soldiers exchanged glances.
Josho sighed. "Look. My Registy Number is Seven Two Zero Five Nine Eight Six Alpha Zed. If you review your unit's fancy smancy records, you'll find that I'm a Prime Enforcer in the service of Her Majesty—"
"Josho?" Another soldier marched up. "Enforcer Josho?"
Josho blinked at the stallion. "Yeah...?"
The first officer spoke with a suspicious glare. "Are you Prime Enforcer Josho of Blue Slope?"
Eagle Eye glanced at the older stallion. Eventually, the pony murmured, "Maaaaaaaaybe... Depends. Am I wanted dead or deader?"
"You were presumed dead, sir!" the other soldier exclaimed. "Prime Enforcer Shell confirmed it."
"Did he, now...?"
"We had prepared a letter to be sent home to your next of kin and everything."
"Ha!" Josho smirked. "Fat chance! My next of kin ran off to Spark knows where years ago, and she took my libido with her." A beat. He cleared his throat. "That is to say, I'm relieved to say that I'm alive... somewhat."
"Fortunate for you that we were ordered to head north to Blue Nova," the first soldier said. "Otherwise, we would never have passed by this corner of Foxtaur."
"How... do you mean...?" Josho stammered. He heard Eagle Eye gasp. Looking up, Josho spotted an enormous shadow jutting across the bright sky.
The Steel Wing loomed immensely overhead, its hull patched up in over a dozen places. It flew as gracefully as it ever did before, and several smaller aircraft were darting around it as they performed a sweep of the area.
"We thought that you could possibly have been one of the missing crewponies," the first soldier said. "Now that we know it's you, it would be best that we brought you aboard and went on our way. Captain Filta has afforded enough setbacks as it is, and there is no more time to waste."
Josho bit his lip. He glanced over at Eagle Eye.
The petite stallion glanced back. With a sigh, he hung his head with folded ears.
"Is there something wrong, Enforcer?" one of the stallions asked.
Josho looked back. "Er, no. Well... aside from... eheh..." He raised the hoof that was affixed to Eagle Eye.
The first soldier squinted at it. "Primitive. We should be able to get it off you easily." He turned and nodded towards the lavender unicorn. "Who is this? One of the bandits from the forest?"
"Something like that, yeah."
"Well, we don't have much time." The soldier turned to his fellow compatriots. "Take care of him, ponies."
All of the guns cocked and aimed at Eagle Eye.
He clenched his eyes shut and winced.
"Whoah!" Josho jumped in front of the glowing barrels, waving a forelimb.
"Hold!" The soldier turned towards the heavyset equine. "Sir...?"
Josho gulped and said, "He's... uhm... important to the investigation. I mean, Shell's still wanting to nab that rainbow fart of a pegasus, isn't he?"
The soldier squinted. "In what way can this traitor assist the search?"
"Up your flank and spinning around with porcupines on his head! That's how!" Josho leaned in and growled into the soldier's face. "I may not have my uniform, shorty, but I outrank you from here to your mother's saddle squeegee! We're bringing him on board with me, or should I explain to Shell why you let a key component of his mission go to waste?!"
The soldier leaned back, blinking awkwardly. With a sigh, he motioned towards the distance. A hovercraft lifted up that had been parked besides a dense line of thickets. "Very well. We'll deal with your manacles on the way to Blue Nova. I'm certain Captain Filta would like to hear all about your recent exploits."
"Yeah, he'd better be sporting a leather couch, the cat huffer..." Josho grunted as the soldiers led him and Eagle Eye towards the transport. In the shadow of the Steel Wing, the stallion gulped and glanced aside at his bound companion.
Eagle Eye trotted forward, a sad expression hanging beneath his slumped gait.
With a grumbling breath, Josho gazed ahead. "Should never have shared the friggin' bottle. It went dry too dayum fast..."
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Looks like the "reuniting" part is coming soon enough.
well this was unexpected
Poor Eagle Eye. He can't ever catch a break, can he?
Shell's the catalyst for a grand reunion.
The second part is a good thing. The first, proooooobably not.
I'm always up for more EE/Josho!
2773188
Well, Josho was willing to cut him some slack.
I am really glad the EE/Josho wacky antics subplot is concluding. It felt like it went on far too long, and there wasn't even that much of it.
Well that wasn't the reunion I was hoping for.
7205986AZ.
Why does that look suspiciously like a phone number?
Edit: Moreover, if the last two letters are a state code, that means that Josho is an...
Arizonan
Josho was a Prime Enforcer? Same rank as Shell? Wow, if that was mentioned, I must have forgotten it ages ago
Josho and Eagle Eye sitting in a tree f-u-c-/*****......$%%*@$%
I mean k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
2773586
Quick, everybody call it, now!
Welp, looks like it's time for everything to line up for the big bang after all. Even Josho and EE found their way back, and I sure as hell didn't see that being easy. But I do have a concern, if Shell had wanted them dead, I hope Josh has an escape plan set because he will not be happy for their prime enforcer reunion.
And back to EE/Josho. God I love those two's moments.
2773774
Actually, anyone in Arizona. Don't we need an area code for long distance?
Unless that is also a lie...
On the story: Yay! We aren't seeing what Phoenix is going through! He is now (in our eyes) both dead and alive.
Well, that was convenient. I was expecting Rainbow and Roarke to happen upon them on their way north, but this works, too. Probably even more interesting this way. Hopefully Filta won't be a dill-hole about EE, and they can make a nice, easy voyage to Blue Nova. Things are coming together nicely.
i.qkme.me/3qufmj.jpg
Considering that EE will most likely be in the proximity of Shell, the manarifles might of been an easier way out.
Josho is quickly becoming more and more a bro. I'm calling it now, those two are gonna kiss by the end of this arc.
Okay, we're doing some damn PT this time! Pyramids today. Start at ten: ten push-ups, ten sit-ups. Rest for one minute. Nine wide arm push-ups, nine Rocky sit-ups. Rest one minute. Eight close hand, eight crunches, ret one minute. Seven push-ups, seven sit-ups, etc. Go all the way down to one. If you can, go back up to ten, but you don have to. Do every repetition. If you tech muscle failure, go to your knees and keep going, just keep your back straight.
Knock 'em out!
Must resist. Must resist. MUST-
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/127081/fainting-o.gif
A question of Loyalty then, Josho. Will you betray your country or your friend?
2773599 I suppose Shell is a Prime Enforcer the same way Albert Einstein was a professor: if there was an active rank above that one, he would've gotten there already.
only a matter of time before the 3rd member ends up in enemy hands at this rate.
Well things don't seem to be going so great for EE and Josho. I really don't see any easy way out of this for them both...
2773887
I saw three Arizona area codes that have that number. 480, 520, and 602. First is a mobile while the others are landlines. Frankly I don't want to call three strangers to see if this is merely a coincidence. 602 and 480 are Phoenix while 520 is Saint David. Knock yourselves out.
2775943
And there's also the possibility the whole "phone number" thing was a ruse to annoy us.
2773586
Oi, I'm one of those!
2776115
Or that they are area codes for the Phoenix area?
(Take These) Chains - Judas Priest
2776660
Never said it was bad, mate! Although I must admit, it doesn't sound terribly... cool.
602-*7*2*0*-5*9*8*6, Unlisted, Landline, QWEST CORPORATION
520-*7*2*0*-5*9*8*6, Unlisted, Landline, LEVEL 3 COMMUNICATIONS, LLC
480-*7*2*0*-5*9*8*6, Listed, Cell Phone, K*** H*****, TEMPE, AZ (name removed for privacy)
Shipping bait, shipping bait everywhere...
And I love it! The ragtag crew is coming together again, and hopefully all in one piece. Well, almost caught up again - onward!
2775943Imploding colon is a genius!
An evil genius!
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So it's nice to see these two again. It's also nice to see that Josho is standing up for EE. His speech about his past must have reall got to him. Also, can't wait till Shell figures out that Josho's alive...These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
P.S. I'll be going on vacation for about a week, everyone. I'm not sure if there'll be Internet, but I suppose we'll see.
Aww, he made a friend.
And lo, a bromance of the highest order was born. Not only was quality liquor shared, but Josho went out of his way to prevent EE's death.
Pity that Eagle Eye is in a bit of awkward situation, being treacherous scum and all, the Steel Wing probably isn't the safest of places for him.
2777425 haha you actually checked them out !
They're all going to be reunited, thanks to Shell.
-Spirit
It seems that Josho has finally come to accept Eagle Eye. That's pretty cool.
Excellent! These two are on their way to Blue Nova (with tons of new friendshipping material, no less!), so all that's left is to get RD and co. over via Roarke!
That's it Josho, keep EE safe.
So the bound foes become something of friends, but trade their old captors for different ones....that will help them reunite with the others. Funny coincidence, that.
I'm sure Shell will be overjoyed to learn of his mistake.
oh, boy, there's going to be a wild free-for all battle soon!