Chapter Six: Fluttershy's Confession (Edited)
The train station of Ponyville was usually bustling with business with ponies either boarding or unboarding Equestria's only train, The Friendship Express. Today was different as only three mares, two fillies, and a baby dragon were the train's only remaining passengers. The entire community of Ponyville left early to travel to Canterlot for a celebration. They all were invited to by Princess Twilight Sparkle. Outside on the waiting dock, Twilight and her three friends stood waiting for the arrival of Rarity, Fluttershy, Sweetie Belle, and Toby.
"Alright girls, while we wait for them to get here, has everyone completed their tasks they volunteered for?" Twilight asked looking at each them. "I sent out all of the invitations last night. So far everypony in Ponyville, my father, mother, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadence will also be attending. Oh, I can't wait for them to meet Toby!" She beamed excitedly.
Applejack tipped her cowboy hat and crossed her forelegs."Yup, Ah've already told Granny Smith, and Big Macintosh to go on ahead on the first train so they could set up the apple cart. Granny made plenty of apple dishes, so there are enough to sell, and also for the little feller to try."
Hovering over the small group was Rainbow Dash. "Yea, and Pinkie Pie also went ahead to Canterlot with the cake she made for the kid. As for me, I plan to give Toby a show he's always gonna remember forever." She rubbed both of her front hooves together with a sly smile on her face.
Twilight nodded at both Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and turned to the two fillies who was standing next to Applejack. "Applebloom and Scootaloo, now you two be nice to Toby. He is new here, and is very shy, and timid around others."
"Ya. Ah got it Twilight. Applejack told me about the little colt, and how he lost his mom." Applebloom replied with a frown.
"Yea, poor kid. Rainbow Dash told me too. Don't worry though.Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle, and I, will all be like big sisters to him." Scootaloo said posing with her forehooves on her hips. Scootaloo was a pegasus filly with a light orange fur, light purple eyes, and a deep shade of purple in her mane and tail.
Together Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle made up the trio known as The Cutie Mark Crusaders. Unlike the other colts and fillies of Ponyville, the three didn't have their cutie marks. They decided to join together as friends with the common goal of searching for their special talent in life, and earn their cutie marks.
After a couple minutes Fluttershy, Toby, Rarity, and Sweetie came trotting out of the station's lobby onto the dock. "Hello darlings, we are here." Rarity spoke up as they trotted up next to the group.
Fluttershy bent her forelegs down instead of lowering down on all four to see if that would be safe and easier for Toby to climb of. He climbed off onto the ground with much ease as Fluttershy stood behind him as back up. She smiled down at him "Toby sweetie, how about you go with Sweetie Belle and meet the other fillies? I am sure they will be happy to meet you."
He nodded "O-okay Fluttershy."
Sweetie Belle placed a forehoof on his shoulder, and smiled softly. "Yea Toby, you'll really like the girls, I promise." She let Toby walk beside her, making sure to keep close.
"Hey Scootaloo and Applebloom!" The other two smiled, and trotted up to their friend. They all hugged, as soon as they broke the hug Sweetie Belle sat down on her haunches, and placed a foreleg over Toby's shoulders. "Girls, I would like for you to meet Toby. Toby this is Scootaloo *motioned a forehoof at the light orange pegasus* and this is Applebloom *motioned to the lemon yellow earth pony*. Together all three of us make... THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" They said in unison in a loud booming voice that made the little colt shield his ears with his hands.
He shook a little out of his usual shyness, but giggled softly. "H-hi Scootaloo, and Applebloom." He spoke softly.
Applebloom was the first one to reach out a forehoof ,and gently took his hand in it to shake it lightly. "Howdy there Toby, it is great to meet ya."
Scootaloo was up next as she reached out a foreleg and patted him on the shoulder. "Hey Toby, it's awesome to meet you too."
Spike who stood by the mares quietly walked up to the four. He smiled at Toby. "Hey there buddy. My name is Spike, the coolest, and only dragon in Ponyville. Don't be scared though, I am only a baby dragon, and would never bring harm to my friends. I'm such a cool kid like you." He reached out a claw and patted at Toby's shoulder just like Scootaloo.
Toby smiled softly and nodded "H-hi Spike. It is good to meet you too."
Fluttershy and the other mares looked with warm smiles upon their faces at the interaction between the three fillies, baby dragon, and little colt. Suddenly a train whistle blew as the Friendship Express was starting to pull into the station. Twilight levitated ten tickets out of her saddlebag that she brought with her giving one to each of her friends with Fluttershy taking Toby's for him.
Coming to a safe stop, the conductor stepped out of the train. He was a gray furred stallion that sported a black burly moustache, with a charcoal black mane, and tail,. He wore a pair of glasses, a dark gray hat that had a red stripe circling it, a black rim, and he wore a dark grey suit with white shirt and red tie. He looked at the group before him. "Tickets please."
Twilight led the group one by one onto one of the passenger carts. When it was Toby's turn to board, the conductor gently placed a hoof on his shoulder and looked down at him. "Oh, I am sorry young one, but without a ticket I am afraid I cannot allow you to board the train."
Fluttershy raised a wing as she kindly gave the two tickets to the conductor. "Oh, my apologies. He is with me..um..I hope that is okay." She looked down at Toby with a soft smile, then back at the conductor.
The conductor took the tickets and nodded "Oh of course Miss, it is okay." He looked down at the little colt. "Well, I apologize young one. Welcome aboard The Friendship Express, may your traveling be safe, and comfortable." He tipped his hat, and stepped aside to let the two enter the passenger cart.
"Alright Toby sweetie, you can go sit with Spike, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, while I go sit with the others, okay little one?" Toby nodded softly, and walked over to join the three fillies, and baby dragon. Fluttershy smiled at him as she went to join the other adult mares.
They were all already seated down, and striking up conversation as Fluttershy trotted up to them. With a bit of nervousness, she spoke up "Um..girls..can I maybe tell you all something..um..if it is okay?"
"Of course darling. You know you can tell us anything." Rarity spoke with a soft smile.
"Yea Flutters, what's up?" Rainbow asked as she just hovered above the group.
"Ya sugarcube, what is on your mind?" Applejack watched her with concern.
"Yes Fluttershy, we are your friends, and we are always here to listen." Twilight smiled softly as well.
She took a seat beside Rarity, and sighed heavily. "Well..um..I really do care for Toby and all, but I just wonder how he got here in Equestria? I mean, I just found him curled up at the base of a tree at the entrance of the Everfree Forest. He was just so small that I couldn't abandon him." She lowered her head, and a single tear dropped from her eyes.
Rarity reached over and rubbed her back, and wings delicately "Fluttershy darling, you was doing what you thought was right, and you are the element of kindness. Also, we all would have done the same thing if either one of us discovered Toby in that condition." The others nodded in unison.
"Th-thank you all. I don't know what I would do without such good friends like you." She lifted her head and turned around a bit to smile softly at the young colt that melted her heart. She turned to look at her friends. "Girls..um.also the night before I found Toby, I made a wish upon Luna's moon. I wished I could have a colt or filly of my own to love and care for."
"WHAT?" They all gasped, but tried to be low enough so the young ones couldn't hear them.
Fluttershy nodded "I know I have Angel Bunny, and my other animal friends, who I love with all my heart, but I would like to feel what it is like to be the mother.
Rarity held one of Fluttershy's forehooves in both of hers and rubbed it gently. "Fluttershy darling, that is wonderful, but you are already a mother to your animal friends, especially Angel." Rarity turned to look at the young ones, especially Toby. "Yet, the little one no longer has his own mom." Her eyes started to tear up at the fact as she turned back to the yellow Pegasus. "Maybe you two were meant to find each other darling." Giving her a soft smile.
Twilight and the others nodded in agreement. "Rarity is right Fluttershy. Now I don't know how Toby showed up here in Equestria either, but maybe we could talk with Princess Luna to see if she might have an answer. It was during her moon you made your wish, so she might know something." They all nodded in agreement.
Fluttershy smiled hopefully. "That sounds great Twilight. Um...could we do it after the celebration...um..maybe when Toby is asleep? I won't want him to be troubled by any of this yet. He has been through enough."
"Of course, we can wait. It would be best to do it while he slept." Twilight looked at Fluttershy seriously. "Fluttershy, would it be okay with you if I maybe asked Princess Luna if she could allow us to enter into Toby's dreams? Maybe we could find out more of why he is so timid around others."
Fluttershy sighed deeply "Um..I guess that would be okay Twilight. Um..it won't hurt him though for us to go into his dreams, would it?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.
"No, of course not. Princess Luna is Goddess of the Night after all, so she would know how to keep him calm while he's asleep."
Fluttershy nodded as she looked at all of her friends who returned soft smiles at her. She turned to look behind her at the small child. "Okay Twilight, we can do it. I just hope whatever we find isn't too scary." They all nodded in unison as the train entered through the gates of Canterlot.
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2279766How were those kind words? I get it if you were seeing them as constructive criticism, but how were they kind?
Sorry if I come off as rude. But yeah, good story keep it up. Now those are kind words. And I really mean them, not just using them as an example.
Just decided to look over the comments before reading the story and everyone seems to be mentioning hight.
now I will probobly edit this after actualy reading the story but I have enough time to write this and put it in my read later folder.
acording to the show I.e useing the 8 foot candy cane as refrence pony hight is
royal guard (4 feet)
My Little Pony indeed.
This story is extremely predictable. And, honestly, I don't see in it in general any sense. Any story bears in itself an innovation, the new offer or idea. This history covers you with tears and a saliva, telling about the unfortunate boy who has got to the world of kind aliens. But more it doesn't give anything. Moreover, in it any logic is ignored. Where basic xenophobia? Where reaction of local society to appearance of the newcomer from other world?
2279792 Well, I guess I took those last words as contructed criticism. I accpet criticism, because when I started out writing mainly poetry, I had a lot of critics. Although, I know there are some writers that take criticism to heart, as do I, I feel that criticism help me write better.
2279934 Oh, okay. Thank you very much for the information. I truly appreciate it.
2279960 Well, this being my very first fanfic ever, I know I am not doing good with a strong plot, but hopefully after I am done with this fanfic, or while continuing this one, I will improve.
2282948 Well, thank you very much for your kind words. I truly appreciate them.
I'm confused.
How can you acknowledge the events of A Canterlot Wedding by extension of acknowledging Magical Mystery Cure and say that the Princesses are gods?
NEED MOAR!
2287543 Haha..thank you. I am working on the next chapter now. I plan to either have it posted either by tonight or tomorrow. Don't worry though, you will get more.
2287344 Well, thank you for your words about the writing and grammar, I truly appreicate that. My apologies though that I couldn't interest you anymore with this story. I accept the criticism, and it being my first fanfic, i am know I am very raw and new to this. However, hopefully as this goes on it will get better. Thank you again for your words about the grammar and writing.
Sorry I haven't left a comment in a while. Anyway, I think Fluttershy would make a great mother to Toby, if only Earth had more moms like her.
... and somehow, I can't shake the feeling that something bad's gonna happend (which is really a good thing, you need conflict to get the plot going.) Mabye Toby would get kidnapped by racist, xenophobic ponies?
2290848 Thank you for your kind words. And I have been thinking about that to add to it of Toby being kidnapped and held hostage. i am going to do my best to finish Chapter Seven today.
Next chapter?
Fluttershy: Um..I guess that would be okay Twilight. Um..it won't hurt him though for us to go into his dreams, would it?
Twilight: No, of course not. Princess Luna is Goddess of the Night after all, so she would know how to keep him calm while his asleep.
Me: No, Luna's not a god.
Well...she isn't.
I LOVE IT
2562534 Some of the ponies think of the royal sisters that way. Kinda surprises me to hear that coming out of Twilight's mouth, though... I may have to rewatch "Luna Eclipsed" at some point just to make sure, but I could have sworn that Twi almost never does that front deep-knee bend that passes for a bow that the other ponies give the Princesses...
media3.giphy.com/media/P7IuPoEuNDbbi/200_s.gif
She took a seat beside Rarity, and sighed heavily. "Well..um..I really do care for Toby and all, but I just wonder how he got here in Equestria? I mean, I just found him curled up at the base of a tree at the entrance of the Everfree Forest. He was just so small that I couldn't abandon him." She lowered her head, and a single tear dropped from her eyes.
I thought Fluttershy found Toby in a basket in front of her house
We have spotted mistakes:
1. You already introduced spike to Toby
2. Flutters found him in a basket, under a blanket, at her front door
3. We are not the "goddess of the night", just ruler of it
Thank you for the wonderful story though
Why is Spike acting like this is the first time he's met him? He met him the other day...
("Applejack told me about the little colt, and how he lost his mom.")
How did Applejack know Toby lost his mother? Cause i thought that gets explained in Toby's memories in the next couple chapters, I think you wrote that in a little too early, just a little slip, no biggie.
8066952
Nah he told them earlier... You need to re-read this to catch it but I got it the first time around
Wow. There are a lot of people who dont pay attention to chapter titles. This chapter is edited, And the ones before it are rewritten.
Why are you having him intoduce himself when they already met at the library? That makes no sense.
Also why bother describing what Scootaloo looks like when you haven’t for any other pony? We all know what she looks like.
Ok you need to reread all the succeeding chapters following the rewrites to make sure the continuity is intact, because last chapter it was Fluttershy thinking about going into Toby’s dreams and discussing it with Rarity and in this chapter Twilight suggests it. Furthermore she found him on her doorstep. Not at the base of a tree near the Everfree as indicated in this chapter.
6829748
My question exactly.
9198064
I'm gonna be agreeing with Renodil, you kind of derailed with this chapter. Even made me lose interest in reading it for the time being. However, I will come back to this in a bit, and I'm still gonna give you a like, cause it is a good story. I just suggest rereading all the chapters up to this one and then fixing the mistakes to keep the flow of the story more consistent.
Again, these two already met.
Luna placed Toby on her doorstep.
Last chapter this was Fluttershy’s idea.
Are you ever going to address these? Simply delete what is red and change what is blue. On and you’ll have to change the paragraph following the last one quoted above and have Fluttershy suggest going into Toby’s dreams.
wait a second hasn't the kid already met Spike before?
This is just like Bill &Ted and their “Wyld Stallyns”
Toby already met Spike.
You mean on your doorstep.
Fluttershy already thought of that.