• Member Since 12th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen May 30th

Cloudline Dasher

Comments ( 21 )

2211538 Pretty much what I'm thinking.

Best thing I've read all night. Thanks for posting.:twilightsmile:

Not a bad story all in all, but one thing I need to say: It's should HAVE, would HAVE, could HAVE. It sounds kinda like "of" in normal speech, but it's "have."

Comment posted by Bytestorm deleted Mar 4th, 2013

2211805 Darn, missed one. Thanks for pointing it out.

I liked this story, it was cute.

However, it was not medically accurate at all. Bodily compensation (or decompensation, in extreme cases,) also called "shock," can be caused by many things:

Neurogenic reasons (hemmoragic or ischemic stroke, etc...)
Hypovolemia (Major fluid loss, e.g., blood.)
Cardiogenic reasons (Myocardial Infarction, Cardiac Tamponade, Ventricular Fibrillation, etc...)
Respiratory (Pneumothorax, Asthma attack, Respiratory Arrest, etc...)
Anaphylaxis (Acute, life-threatening allergic reaction)
Metabolic reasons (Metabolic Acidosis, etc...)
Psychological reasons (Syncopal episode "fainting," etc...)
Sepsis (Infection)

But, because shock is a majorly life-threatening state, it is generally treated well before any diagnoses are made, and especially well-before anything is prescribed by a doctor. Shock is NOT simple muscle aches and pains...

I could understand if you were trying to list "shredded lungs" as a shock reason, however, Dash wouldn't even BE in shock at all, because the rain wouldn't have shredded her lungs—it would've shredded her esophagus, if anything at all. IF that were to happen (and it's still far-fetched,) then her pharynx and laryngopharynx would have indeed borne the brunt of the damage, but I seriously doubt it would have been so permanent as to cost her her voice for the rest of her days...

Anyways, cute story, but you should probably make sure that you know what you are talking about before you list it specifically. Then again, the shock bit was Dashie thinking, so I'm not sure if it was intentional or not...

Good day, ma'am, and I look forward to any future TwiDash's that you may or may-not write! :pinkiehappy:

2213705 Are you commenting on the part where Dash thinks that her body is in shock?


Both that part and the diagnosis. Actually, the whole medical piece, really.

2213790 Well, for the shock part, Rainbow Dash only thought that, and she definitely doesn't have a medical license.

As for the diagnosis, I concur, it isn't medically sound. However, this is a story about magical talking Ponies. In a world where the Sun and the Moon are raised by beings. Also one where the aforementioned mare can crash into numerous things, and get right back up with, most of the time, with little to no issue.

I think a little leeway in not being particularly accurate in medicinal knowledge is prudent.

or, as Adam Savage would say, "I reject your reality and substitute my own"


XD Well yeah, I researched about storms and lightning and how they are created, but I didn't research the medical part. Though, I mainly thought we wouldn't know exactly HOW her body would react, especially since magic was involved in curing her. So with magic involved, the 'shock' could have been a part of the spell side effects. Anyway, Thanks for your comment Blunderbolt, I learn something new ever day :pinkiehappy:



I could tell that you really knew your rainstorms and lightning; you must've really worked hard one that, and it made me sad that I saw you didn't put forth the same knowledge in the medical aspect of it, so I thought I'd help. I'm glad you took it in stride; most people would blow up at someone like me for trying to do so.

Also, I forgot to mention:

The brain can only go 4-6 minutes without oxygen before it starts to die. Assuming that her breath contained the standard 21% oxygen, and she used the 5% that most people use, she would have passed out after a minute or two, exerting herself that much. And holding her breath for ten minutes? Impossible, unless she's a freak-of-nature. After three minutes or so, she would have passed out and her body would have forced her to breath, to save her brain from damage.


The breath one I knew, but did it on purpose only because they have magic on their side and assumed that Ponies (pegasi in particular) could possibly have a longer duration to hold their breaths due to the magic resistance that also allows them to walk on clouds. :twilightblush:

Well.... the only thing I can say is... ME GUSTA cause I'm a nub and I don't know how to post images...

I love TwiDash stories and this one was exciting and had awsome build up. I only had one problem... I was damn thirsty half way through this. Everytime Dash mentioned it I got up and drank a glass of water. By the time I finished this, I was drinking strait from the pitcher. You have an amazing way of getting the emotions across so well it is almost crazy. Anyways, awsome story.:rainbowdetermined2:

2211538 that....image.....scared the hell outta me:fluttershbad:....cause it took up the whole screen before it reduced in size....:pinkiecrazy:

Goddamn it, Dash, stop talking. Twilight, magic her mouth closed or something before she messes herself up even more.

(Great story, I loved it. A dominant Twilight is always weird, but enticing, to read)

Wouldn't one of the hospital staff have heard the yelling and come on to check on them? Unless the rooms were soundproofed, I doubt they weren't caught.

Even though I'm not really of any given pairing in particular, I tend to sway toward the TwiDash pairing a lot.

If that's the case you may be interested in an Amino community I created. TwiDash

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