• Member Since 27th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2018

TechnicolorShortie


Comments ( 49 )
CIA

Wouldn't there be an oc tag for this?

I love me a 'White Knight for a troubled Trixie' kind of story. :heart:

interesting.

Trixie and OC

:rainbowwild::pinkiehappy::raritydespair::fluttershbad::pinkiegasp::heart::pinkiehappy: Basic order of events

Awesome! all though I did find 1 error, I think. "You can fell it with the way her tongue moves to welcome your own. They dance about for a moment before you retreat." I think fell is supposed to be feel. Otherwise, fantastic job, I loved it.

Nicely done, enjoyed all of it :twilightsmile:

Not unicorn magic. Timelord magic.

2210076
Right you are. Forgot to check it originally. :twilightsheepish:

2210166
Hope you enjoyed~
It always seems like the best way to do Trixie clop without making her dominate her partner.

2210315
Thanks for the looky loo. Hope you enjoyed~
Heh, a friend asked me to do this after I wrote one about a human and futa Trixie sleeping together.

2210530
Oh my~
I hope it was a pleasant read for you.

2211001
:facehoof:
Everything is ruined! :raritydespair:
I'll make the fix soon. Thanks for catching it. Word never notices those things and I miss them quite often too. :derpytongue2:

2211196
Thank ya kindly. Glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

2211599
Trixie's wagon was made by Doctor Whooves? This changes everything!
Nice. :moustache:

2214294

Nice story. This could turn into a series.

2214294 xD I always miss them, I guess I was just paying attention this time, didn't want to miss a word! Well, I'm glad I could help. :twilightblush::pinkiehappy::heart:

This was a good read, the idea of the main being a constant traveler (not to mention how it ended) has me eager for more of this. I could easly see this turned into a small series.

For my tastes, I'd say that the fic's pacing did move a little too fast, but, being a oneshot I think it's not worth complaining about really. It was still a good story, so that's all that really matters. Like I said earlier, I really enjoy White Knight x Trixie fics and I think you did a great job with it, so kudos.

The clop was paced very well too, pretty believable and didn't get too raunchy. I say that because I feel this is a least a little romantic. Some of the HxP Romance's I've read get a little carried away with the clop and it ends up taking away from the acutal purpose of the fic. This isn't romance (or at least it isn't advertised that way), but I felt the need to mention it. Job well done.

Look forward to more from ya, pal. Take care.

Damn, this played me like a violin at the hands of Mozart

VERY well done sir

2214410
Thank ya kindly. Appreciate the read~
Series? A friend tried to talk me into it, but I'm still unsure about multi-chapter stuff. When I first started writing, I thought for sure I'd only be able to make shorts, hence the shortie in my name. It's something I do need to practice sometime though.

2215740
Well, I appreciate you letting me know about it all the same. :heart: Now that I've gotten into writing, I now understand why writers dig being told where they mess up.
Also, I'm glad I was able to provide something enjoyable to such an extent.

2215975
Ah yes, pacing. It's always weird to deal with when you do a one-shot in my experience. I don't want the background story I'm building to drag on too long, but I also want to avoid pushing the reader too fast through it.
I'll be honest, I absolutely love the whole "consensual" style of clop writing. Both parties being willing participants just makes it so much easier on me. Rape or porno style sex scenes aren't really my thing. It feels like it would be more enjoyable if the characters were making love instead of just having sex.
On the subject of rape though, that's something I refuse to partake in. Both parties are consenting or I'm out pretty much.
Thank ya much for the read~
On the series thing, check the earlier part of my comment.

2217009
Oh my~ :raritywink:
Thank ya for the read, and I'm glad I could be of service.

2220799

Heh, Shortie. Anyway yeah I would think you would be good at multichapters.

2220799

I'll commend you on being able to pull it off pretty well. I recently started writing my own fic and while I started jotting down Ideas for what I wanted to accomplish in the fic, I began to lose myself in the worldbuilding when I actually sat down to write it. Needless to say, it slowed the fic down tremendously from what I originally imagined, so hats off to ya, pal. Finding the balance between development, worldbuilding, etc. within a story isn't easy, for sure!

I can certainly tell how ya feel about the actual sexual bits in your stories, it translates well into what you just said. I think that's a strong point of yours, the sex never feels forced or just thrown in. When you write these kinds of scenes, your views on the idea of consensual sex between the two characters really shows and makes it all feel really natural and sweet. Ya don't see that often in HiE clop / romance.

Well, after reading your other comment now I know your name isn't exactly what I thought it was supposed to be!:rainbowlaugh:
I'd encourage ya to keep it up though. Short fics or not, I think you really shine when your fics are longer than 5k+ words:raritywink:

2221127
Hmm, I have always been about challenges. Everything I've put up on FiMFic so far has been a challenge of some sort. I have some thinking to do if I can slow down all the requests I get. Just a moment ago I had somebody ask me to do a one-shot with Roseluck.

2221627
It definitely isn't easy depending on the circumstance. Going anywhere outside of Ponyville or dealing with characters who aren't the main 6 turns up the difficulty in my experience. You're practically on your own in that regard which pushes you to think about what all needs to be shown to the reader much more. I have to think you'll do pretty well with writing if the comments you leave are any indication. There's quite a bit of thought in each one I've read of yours.

I think that's what sets apart loving clop scenes from the others. You don't really show a mating session, but rather passion between two characters filled with love and desire for each other. It kind of ups the ante in my opinion. That doesn't mean the rest are bad; however, I'm unsure if the style would work when you're just out for raunchy depravity between a mare and a human/stallion/mare.

Oh? I'm rather curious as to what the original thought was. :duck:
I hope to go as long as I can. Like my bio says, I'm not quitting until it's no fun anymore. I prefer not to go the 10k route like I did with Sweetie Belle again though. 5-7k sounds like a good medium for one-shots in my book. I also don't want to struggle for a month to get everything done with a piece, only to have it go on way too long for my tastes.

2236899

Requests? Must be popular.

2236899
Wall of text incoming:

I wholeheartedly agree with ya. There're are some authors on here that can pull that stuff off pretty well and have some fantastic writing, character development, worldbuilding, etc. There's one fellow here, DemonEyesLaharl, that has a beautiful story up called Feathered Heart that delves into Gryphon society, it's a very interesting read.

He's very creative with what he's built and isn't afraid to mention the politics and rituals within the Gryphon Kingdom either. I'd recommend giving it a read if you're half as interested in that kind of stuff as you seem. He has a side story that goes into their mating rituals (Forgot to mention, HxG ship) and it's not to simply add in clop, but it really does expand upon his vision for these creatures. Stuff like that is incredibly inspiring for me, I can't imagine having so much creativity.

I appreciate your compliment, pal. It's funny you should that, I've recently started writing a simple vanilla ApplejackxAnon fic and it's not going as well as I thought. I can see my amateurity slopping up everything I write down, it's a disgusting thing. Everytime I revisit it I try to imagine that I've never seen it before and judge it like so, hasn't worked yet and it's becoming very frustrating. I think my biggest problem is over explanation for the simple things. I won't get into it all, but I'll push through it hopefully.

The last bit you mentioned regarding the clop is a tricky thing, the rest I agree with. The more dirty side of it all can be pretty well portrayed, but, of course, it takes away from everything else. I've yet to see a detailed, crazy clop that either isn't a oneshot strictly for that sake of it or one that doesn't involve one of the character(s) in heat. It's an awful strange thing, it seems that depending on what kind of story it is the cloppy bits will be portrayed accordingly. Perhaps that's an obvious thing to say? Anyway, combining raunchy clop with a sappy fic you end up with a... hodgepodge-y feel in the story I think. Maybe it's all about who writes it? Bah well.

Oh, when I first discovered you, I just assumed "TechnicolorShortie" was just a little pet name you made for RD. Given the avatar and all that jazz. (I'm a bit of a dingus. :rainbowkiss:)
I hope you keep on for a while, though admittedly, you saying that makes me slightly worried that you're cursing yourself already.:twilightsheepish:
6k-7k sounds pretty fine, I don't really write so I guess I can't complain, but I'd encourage the longer stuff. That statement may have a little of me peeking out there (I love long stories), but don't wanna make it seem like I'm telling you to. I just feel (and I'm sure you know as well) that the more room in a story has, the better it can be. But I respect how ya feel about it.

I apologize for the wall o' text here. I get ranty...

Have a good one, pal.

2237262
I used to love accepting challenges, so I would take on requests and give it my all for the thrill of said challenge. This may have been a different kind of challenge, but I still viewed it as being such, especially after writing a greentext clop-shot about futa Trixie. In context, futa Trix was what spawned this idea since I got a couple responses on how she wasn't a normal mare. :derpytongue2: Thinking back, telling people that I used the roll n fuck challenge to find my stories might have been a call to cut out the middle man and just tell me what mare should be written next. Unfortunately, I had to start turning away ideas for now since I'm backed up too much for my own comfort. Way too many ideas I want to write at the current moment.

2237405
Ooooh, so the writer takes complete charge of the lack of canon to draw from? That's quite a feat in my book, even more so if he managed to do it well enough. Building a world is often a terrifying aspect for me, truth be told. I suppose I'd have to have a lot more backbone and just worry about making it believable instead of making it something that everyone is supposed to love. If time permits, I'll have to give this writer a looky loo because of what you said.

Hmm, they say you are your own worst critic. I'm still terrorizing the quality of my work to this day despite things I've heard from others. If a lot needs to be said, I would suggest spreading it out for the reader a bit. Chances are you don't have to get absolutely everything out in the open all at once. That is pure opinion though and should in no way be taken as anything but that. I will agree that much needs to be done with the back story to a one-shot, but I'm unsure if it has to happen all up front. Whatever happens, I trust you'll see your way to victory if you want it. One idea that has helped me far too many times to count is determining what you want from the fic first. What all do you want to happen and what do you want your readers to experience? I see no reason why anyone can't outclass what I've done, especially since it wouldn't be too difficult in my eyes. Told ya I still terrorize my work. :trollestia:
I do look forward to seeing this, however. Clop or not, I can be a real sucker for a nice romance and some good feels.

Perhaps it truly is about who writes it. I would so love to believe that any idea could be made into a magnificent piece if care and attention is given to it. I'm reminded of the HumanxRD fic known as "Savior" I believe it was. The clop in it gets incredibly primal, but I have to admit that I enjoyed reading it. I'm not sure if RD was in heat during that, but it set an interesting stage for an adventurous continuation if the writer felt like it.

Nickname for RD? For that, I usually go with "Skittles". :raritywink:
Technicolor is the part that refers to my love of the chromatic cutie if it wasn't obvious though. Dingus? Bah, never would have considered that idea. You sell yourself short in that regard, but maybe I'm biased because I enjoy the interaction with you quite a lot. :pinkiehappy:
Honestly, I do fear becoming burnt out, yet I feel almost like I have to prove I can actually write something people can enjoy. I used to write an original fic for myself, but I stepped back one day and realized that I made the worst possible mistake with it. My main character and hero was a total and irredeemable Mary Sue. I don't use that term lightly. Even when my hero would fail in it, he would always come out on top in headache inducing ways. A couple times I actually used the "I secretly knew everything that was going on and all that happened was according to my plan" trope a few times. I may have been 16 at the time, but I would not blame a single soul reading it if they thought I was the worst out there.

I truly appreciate all the understanding and interaction you've given me. Longer stuff? A friend and I had a small discussion once that turned into him ordering me to work on the resulting idea. If I can work it properly, I would like to see it span a few chapters. My main concern is how it features three OC mares that said friend and I cooked up. They end up interacting with the main 6 for a particular reason, but I can't really say more without spoiling it. In the end, it will all have to come down to how I write it, I think.

No apologies needed for the wall, I :heart: that stuff. I just hope I managed to answer everything that needed it. Large responses aren't easy. :rainbowwild: Enjoy yourself out there, and I hope your writing goes smoothly.

2249661

Cant wait to see them, I feel like an ass not responding in bulk paragraphs.

2249661
He certainly does a great job with what he's made thus far. I think it's sitting at three chapters right now (four if you want to include the mating chapter) and each is about 9k-14k words so you can tell he's been thinking about this for a while. His portrayal of Gilda is pretty believable as well, at least that's what I'd imagine her to act like if she were in a relationship with someone. He's a very imaginative author, I very much look up to his ability to stay consistent considering his stories are all around the same length and feature some interesting tales. Plug, plug, plug... :twilightsheepish:

It's a strange feeling isn't it? Looking at your work, cursing it as if it's the worst thing ever only to have others read it and see them give it praise? I've been thinking about giving in and just either spreading it all out of multiple chapters or rewrite it a bit and make it a few chapter-long story (That's not crazy right? There's a difference right?! :raritydespair:). I seem to think that I've developed a bit of " 'Selective' Critic's Lament" over the past few years and think that's part of my problem. Though it's probably normal for a writer to ask their stories and characters questions to understand them better. Not asking it to write itself, but looking at it and really figuring out what world you're trying to create.

It's funny, I started off writing down multiple ideas for oneshots in an old journal I had lying around as soon as I joined this site in hopes of eventually writing them. I still have it and plan to write them someday, but it seems oneshots are far more difficult to write than I thought. Again with the possibility of presonal preference, but I'd have to say that going with a story is best off for those who have never wrote anything before. Well... [insert ramble about ideas compared experience here]. I like your thoughts about it though, I've read many authors' opinions and advice regarding their process; how they approach it all, their experience writing a certain fic. what to keep in mind if you're just starting out, etc. Surprisingly, it's a mixed bag, and that's even more help I feel. I'm glad that what I've seen isn't all the same jargon about "just sit down and write" but rather some more obscure practices and thoughts to keep in mind. (Now I just need work to go away and maybe I can pop out a story!) If you'd like, I may send ya a link to it when I finish. Either way I'm going to switch it up though, instead of my bestponyapplejackromance fic, I'm going to do a (hopefully) short Lyra one instead. Applejack I think'll be put aside for now so that later I can give it some time to cook.

I'll have to read that story sometime, sounds exactly like what I've yet to experience during my time here (gotta love cliffhangers too). I'd like to think it really is about how it's written. If someone can make a story about two people from two very different age groups have sex and have the reader care about every event that took place within it, without feeling disgusted, It must be true. Or maybe I'm just playing favorites. :raritywink:

Skittles, eh? I like that... :trollestia:
And I you, pal. Being able to pick the brain of an author is a lot of fun, being able to see the other side of the coin as it were, is always informative. now let us make love.

Whaaat? Mary Sue stories are the greatest! (But no, really, that sounds like a nightmare.:rainbowlaugh:) That's one thing I want to try very hard not to feature in anything I end up writing. I don't even like reading self aware troll fics about the MS stereotype. I don't like soundling like such a snob, but... Euughh.

Hmm, OC's are fine with me so long as their color scheme sounds nice (ie: anything other than incredibly dark shades). I'm really shallow on that front, I trust people with their own characters so long as they just aren't black and red, an alicorn or evil for evil's sake. herp. Lookin' forward to reading that though, the last bit about the Main 6 has me pretty curious.

I appreciate ya lettin' me talk your ear off, I really enjoy chattin' with you and glad you also respond in text-for-days format like I do. Thanks for the advice and boost, I'll start writing hopefully soon! Take care, pal.

A good story, I liked it.

Though... He had sex with a bandaged & bruised Trixie... Maybe a bit concerning, no? :trixieshiftright:

That was a pretty sweet fic. I'm always a fan of stories with a happy ending. :raritywink:

Most excellent.

my name is-
I laughed.

Trixie and you as a nomad. Perfect match.:raritywink:

I liked it. This had some good moments besides the sex. :rainbowdetermined2:

Simple, yet touching. I approve.:pinkiehappy:

His name is chicka, chicka, Slim Shady

3682518 No you saw it his name is Fin he's from adventure time :pinkiehappy:

4473111 no fin means end, the kid from adventure time is spelled 'Finn'

Oh wow... that was unexpected. To think that the last fanfic i read was from this author as well...
*shrugs* this should be good - yes, considering how much i enjoyed the previous one (scootaloos favor) this will be good indeed.

such a shame though... i really need to sleep.
a heck, juat one more fic... -_-

cheesy and a bit... rushed??? i dunno, though it certainly felt cheesy in the part he scooped her up, a little too soon for something too cliche don't you think? the same with the rutting, but then again, this is a one-shot fic so i guess it ok...? i guess??

not bad but i feel it could've been better.
Iwouldn't be suprised if this was written at an earlier time than scoot's story - considering the flawlessness of your style and pacing in 'Scootaloos favor'.

still a pretty decent one-shot that desrves 6 cookies out of ten ;)

p.s - I thought this fic was the second story i read from you works but i just found out that i read another story of yours 'apple pie' that i finished about two months ago. ha nice! i didn't even noticed you were the same author for all three stories that i had in my list of stories. ha! nice indeed XD

I wanna know his name make a sequel!

Are you serious....:ajbemused:
All of that to cut off without a name? nyERFAGQRPENSHTANGNABBIT MAN!
not cool bro... :fluttershysad:

Very nice story. Fantastic to way to end it too. hoping for maybe a sequel with romance?

Better than naming him anonymous, honestly

You don't answer; instead, you close the distance between you two with a few steps and kneel in front of her. Face to face, you bring your lips to hers. She doesn't fight back and actually pushes into it a bit. Not to give her any chance for protesting, you gesture her to open her mouth by poking her teeth with your tongue. Her eyes go wide for a moment, but slowly flutter closed.

I only don't like this moment so far, because it somehow came off wrong. It actually looked like this were his intentions from the start.

everything else is nice, and I would love to have this as some sort of prologue for a sequel. With him helping her in Ponyville.

This gets a chuckle out of you before you finally begin moving. You help her inside her wagon and HOLY FUCK! It's bigger on the inside than on the outside.

It's a TARDIS!

"My name? It's..."

George fartarbensonbury!!!
#LegoCityUndercoverReference

"My name? It's..."

There. For everyone who was wondering who the male protagonist in this story was, now you know.

"My name is...Bond. James Bond."

*Bah-dah-duh-dah-duh-dah!*

While Im sure that the first part is so-posed to come across as caring...........To me, it comes across as really creepy, especially from a homeless guy she met in the middle of the woods. From someone she's known for a while in town, OK, its caring in an overbearing way, from a stranger she just met in the woods...........CREEPY!

Oh my god, it even has a "milady"

The only thing thats missing to make this really uncomfortably creepy is the consistent use of the word "chuckled".

The Monk
“Any problem can be solved by rigorous and vigorous application of horse-dick.” -Fenoxo

7417733
My point exactly

The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil." - Reykan

What takes place after that is just what that mare needed in your opinion. A night of comfort for a showpony who messed up so bad.

First: What takes place after that is just what that mare needed in your opinion. A night of comfort for a showpony who messed up so bad, should have been What takes place after that is just what that mare needed in your opinion. A night of comfort for a showpony who messed up bad. Or, better still: What takes place after that is just what that mare needed in your opinion. A night of comfort for a showpony who messed up badly.
Second: What do you mean, Trixie messed up? She didn't mess up! She was never in the wrong with regards to what happened during her first appearance in Ponyville! She put on a show, told stories, entertained the masses, taught ponies that were heckling her a lesson in humility, and protected children from a dangerous wild animal! She wasn't the one to lead the dangerous wild animal into the town, that was the foals! She wasn't the one to put the idea of doing that into their heads, that was Spike! She didn't make Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity come to her show, they made that choice of their own free will! She didn't make Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity stay at her show once they decided that they didn't like it, they made that choice of their own free will!

9247878
Umm... the video is no longer on youtube.

11391082
Of course it isn't! That comment is from 5 years ago!

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