• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 1st, 2015

Obvious German


I'm a writer mostly into gritty, down-to-earth war stories with all their gruesome details and the like. Also, crossovers are apparently the only thing I can write about, doesn't stop the fun there.

T

"Causatum; situation following an event, occurence"

They say you can find the weirdest shit in Tehran, according to the US Force Recon Marines. Lieutenant M. Hershowitz and his remaining crew of three just happen to find one such anomaly that could be classified as 'weird shit' after a catastrophic earthquake, and it happens to be none other than a rainbow-maned, clueless, hotheaded and speedy pegasus from a child's show. But there's more to her arrival than it seems, as enemies seek to exploit the newcomer to the war-torn world.

Welcome to the aftermath of Iran, Rainbow Dash. Check your gear, strap up and get ready for one hell of a ride with Delta Squad.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 92 )

It's a good story. The paragraphs are indented, tactical movement is involved and Rainbow's rant is pretty spot on... But you should've made it a mental rant.

P.S. : Gotta love that MP443 Grach man.

Ah yes I'm definitely want to see where this goes, anyone else anticipating endgame because I got bf3 on ps3 and 360....:rainbowdetermined2:

I believe that people need to write more Battlefield crossovers. So far so good.

Well, it's the most decent BF3 crossover I've seen. I'll give it a go.

I Love BF3, great story too. Keep up the good work.

Nice, haven't seen too many battlefield crossovers. Good job so far!

We need more video game crossovers like this one.

My mind plays the BF3 theme when I read this :twilightsheepish:

2212312 If you like the BF3 Theme, check out this sick remix from Bypass Bandits! Swedish people make some of the best things in the world, don't they?

Love BF3, keep up the great story:pinkiehappy:

How the fuck did that shot from the sniper take out the co-pilot too? Also would have been cool if you made the US guys ally temporarily with that Russian squad.

2213432 Well, collateral damage can explain everything.

You got some 'splainin' to do about the cliché Russian hostility. (Don't pull the "It's BF3" card on me. It wont work.)

Might be easier to say that the hostile russians are seperatists/ eliminating anyone who could possibly identify them, or are being used as pawns by some shadowy figure that you can keep secret until later.

“Stay down! Contacts, 12 pm!”

... I'm not even going to explain what's wrong here.

2216897 Fixed specially for you. I was darn sleepy the time I posted it and never checked it.

Battlefield 3 and MLP.

There's something so jarring about putting these two together.

HEY, DO YOU WANT TO PLAY BF3 WITH ME? IM LVL59 COLONEL, SO IM NO NOOB.

I THINK BF3 CAMPAIGN WAS PRETTY EXCITING.

When i saw th retobution II I WAS LIKE:pinkiehappy: AND THEN I WAS LIKE WAIT THIS MUST BE AFTER OR BEFORE THEY WENT TO EQUERISTA:rainbowderp:

I haven't played BF3, to be honest...but that means this story will surprise me even more :twilightsmile:

This looks great. Keep up the good work! :pinkiehappy:

“This is the Retribution II, what’s your status?”

Shout outs. Hee hee. That's pretty awesome.

Welcome to Iran, Rainbow.
Great chapter; keep it up!

Welcome Rainbow, to the most desolated place on Earth. Here we have luxury fight scenes between U.S. military and R.U. Special Forces along with P.L.R. Infantry. A scarcity of food is must, and you'll most likely die from a sniper around a mile away.... Have fun!

interesting the Retribution ll gets to meet ponies in two different stories.

Do I need to buy a DLC to read the rest of this story?

I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY END GAME. WHO WANTS TO PLAY IT WITH ME? Nobody...

I'm afraid of what they might do with the missile launcher... :twilightoops:

I was gonna sleep, then this came up. :raritydespair:

You're lucky that I fucking love you.

Shit just got real!:rainbowdetermined2:

At least we won't have to wait long for the next chapter to come out :ajsmug:

>Nothing could get even worse than this.

Shit's gonna get worse.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO SHIT!

One thing I don't like about this piece is you keep repeating that Rainbow Dash is a fictional character from a TV show. A couple times is enough, you don't need to keep reminding the readers.

If I were Hershowitz, I probably would've just dropped the gun and facepalmed with the ridiclousness of what was happening.

2235057 SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUSSSSSHHHHHHH I KEEP FORGETING

WHYY. WHY YOU HAD TO MAKE FIM UNIVERSE A SHOW IN BF3 UNIVERSE. BTW. NYES.

Couldn't the sniper just take out the driver? If I remember right, if a vehicle loses its driver, it stops moving.

Howdy.
Just few corrections.
If you're trying to portay Marines:
1) Don't call them soldiers
2)No suck language as "Iranian". I would think being in the Capital they would speak Persian, Kurdish, or Arabic.
And that's just the First chapter.


More corrections/suggestions
>Captains are above Lieutenant, they don't call them "sir"
>You don't salute on a battlefield
>"That's a positive" You would say "Affirmative"
>Delta Force is the Army. Marines have Recon/MARSOC

I'm actually enjoying this so far just so you know.
>"Hoooah!"
That's the Army....:ajbemused:

I wrote about the chase to give myself an excuse to use this OST;

How ironic.

2240881 I know right? I knew very well it came from a game so damn horrible, but it's soundtrack was so damn nice. I couldn't resist using it (Honestly, the only thing I liked about COD is just the OST, nothing else.)

2240697 Thank you very much for pointing out those mistakes! I really love you right now, I can't really write about the Marines because well, the closest equivalent to that is VAT69.

M82. Shoot the tires out. Uh, no. With an M82, you just shoot through the engine block and the .50 cal just puts it to a stop. That's actually the standard procedure.

2240984
If you want an idea of how Marines act watch Generation Kill.
Plus the're Recon :rainbowdetermined2:

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