• Published 3rd Mar 2013
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Battlefield: Causatum - Obvious German



Battlefield 3 crossover. Rainbow Dash ends up in post-cataclysmic Iran.

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Chapter 3: Convoy

March 21st, 2014/

Azadi Palace,
Tehran, Iran,

1025 Hours,

The hull of the Retribution guarded seven grizzled soldiers as they sat inside an abandoned coffee house, sheltering them from the eventual heat waves.

“So, we didn’t quite get your names. What’s yours?”

“Lieutenant Murray Hershowitz of Delta Force 1-3,” Hershowitz replied to the Captain of the Abrams as he pulled out an aged M1911 and scrutinized it. Scott was outside by the tank taking his time to observe it with Fairfield.

“Wait a minute, are you the Lieutenant Hershowitz? You’re a legend in the Marines! They say you’ve fought off at least twenty PLR soldiers and three BMPs while waiting for extraction!”

“Yep, that’s me alright. Was a tight fit really if Scott hadn’t blasted our way out, he’s the hero and I’m the victim,” Hershowitz jokingly replied, shifting through the memories of when his squad was pinned down with the General waiting for Gunslinger 5-7 and their other Viper to blast them out of the village. “Gotta thank Gunslinger though, their guns were the only things that could hold off the damn Tunguskas.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir!” Noah held out his hand to shake with the battered Lieutenant and he proceeded to comply.

“As always. So, how ‘bout you guys? How’d you survive these days after the ‘quake?”

“Well, it's just a mixture of pure luck and strategic thinkin’, sir,” Noah replied as he fiddled around with his M4A1, having ran out of ammo a day ago before the USMC engineer gave him an extra one.

Meanwhile, Fairfield and Scott were still observing the tank, Miles joining after becoming bored sitting with the usually silent British.

“You’ve taken some shots, didja? Tell me, RPGs or T-72s?”

“I’d say both, sir…?”

“Oh yeah, it’s Scott. Scott Naso.”

“Oh, that’s a pretty good name. Anyway, this girl’s got a few more rounds to spare at those PLR bastards,” Fairfield replied as he knocked on the blackened hull of the Retribution.

“Good to see, what op were you guys on? Escortin’?” Scott asked as he looked around, a little paranoid for remaining PLR forces.

“Yep, convoy of Humvees and an LAV. All gone as soon as these bastards opened fire on us even before the damn quake,” Fairfield replied solemnly, having awful flashbacks about screaming rockets that blasted apart the Humvees they were escorting and the LAV being blown up by unseen IEDs the PLR had hidden in advance.

“Feel ya’ pain, soldier. Our squad got pinned down by at least seven of these bastards, Arlie and Aslanian took the bullets for us and then ya’ should know what happened next,” Scott responded as he noticed Miles walking around, bored with his LMG bouncing off his arms.

Meanwhile, Hershowitz and Noah discussed their plans for today as they are now combined forces. “So, you guys need a lift?” Noah asked Hershowitz.

“Damn right we need some, unfortunately we can’t really get into your tank, can we?”

“Just as I suspected, on our crusade to friggin’ nowhere we found a relatively intact Humvee stuck in a buildin', just a little debris on it and maybe a splatter or two of blood,” Noah explained their discovery. “We think it’s still operational, poor bastards. Must’ve gotten ambushed by PLR on their side.”

“Bastards indeed, Captain. We’ll take the Humvee, it’s our only way for fast travel until High Command sends in an extraction force,” Hershowitz replied as he spun his head to find the silent British sniper and the driver of the Retribution snoring.

Noah followed his gaze and observed the sniper as he just sat there in total silence, waiting for an order. “He’s the silent type, ain’t he?”

“Only if we ain’t in a jiffy, but that add to his whole alias when he came here to oversee our forces. We looked promising so he just waltzed into our squad, and here he is,” Hershowitz explained about Garrett’s arrival into Delta. “Claims to have killed at least three high ranking PLR members, all from an extremely far distance without a spotter, or at least that was what they told us. The reason why he doesn’t talk… Well, its just up to us to find out why.”

“Sounds pretty clichéd, but I’ll take my chances. Want us to bring you there now?” Noah replied as Fairfield, Miles and Scott entered the store.

“Anythin’ before noon, these bastards will find us pretty easily in Iran’s heat,” Scott responded as he overheard their conversation, Miles busily chatting with Fairfield. Evern, who was busy taking a nap on the wall, flickered his eyelids to see his friends and the Marines wandering around in the store, getting ready to go. The only one eying him was the sniper, who had an expressionless face and a pistol on the table, clips scattered.

“So it seems Sleeping Beauty is up,” Garrett said coldly, never taking his eyes off the awakened tank driver. “Lemme tell you about something, never take a nap on the battlefield unless you want to end up a pile of ragged flesh.”

“How’d you know? I’ve driven into at least three strikes in a tank. Sometimes, it's just exhaustion that gets the best of ya,” Evern replied to the sniper’s dismay.

“Listen here, I didn’t get here in a bloody tank. Just bloods and boots, that’s all,” Garrett replied to Evern’s visible dismay. “And trust me, being in the SAS is not all about that fancy pancy stuff, that’s for snobs.”

“Okay then, whatever you say, guv…” Evern got up and wiped his wracked trousers free of dust before he walked towards the group of gathered soldiers.

“Well, all of us are up and runnin’. Should we go find that Humvee?” Hershowitz said, Scott and Miles nodded while Evern who stood next to his captain just blinked.

“Oh… that Humvee…” He knocked his head, remembering the Humvee that they drove past. “To tell you guys about something, the armaments on that thing? Couldn’t get a good look at it but I think it’s an ASRAD variant… Pretty handy, ain’t it?”

Scott shook his head in disbelief, an ASRAD variant? All the way out here in Tehran? “I’ve only seen the ones with the open HMGs and the remote controlled ones but an ASRAD Humvee? Nope, never existed. At least all the way out here,” Scott gruffly commented at this. The ASRAD variant of the HMMMV was particularly deadly because of a remote controlled missile launcher mounted on its top unlike its counterparts equipped with only HMGs. This was a jewel all the way here.

“Then we better get to it. Garrett! Get your gear!” Hershowitz barked as they all exited the deserted store, Garrett with his M82 following suit. “We’re going to secure a hopefully operational Humvee!”

“Don’t hope, just find out or else you’re gonna jinx us,” Garrett replied as the three tank operators clambered into the Abrams, starting it up with a loud rumble of its engines. The four then quickly took lead, the Retribution following behind, rotating its turret and watching out for PLR troops.

It was almost an hour before they reached the earthquake ruined remains of an office, the Humvee partially embedded into the interior of the building and its front window splintered by three bullet shots.

Hershowitz slid into the debris and waved for Scott to secure the vehicle. It was then he saw three dead Marines stripped of their gear and bloodied. Garrett, who was behind him, stopped also to take a look at the grisly sight.

“Ugh, makes ya think why we’re still fightin’ this trivial fight.”

“Resorting to advanced vocabulary in a battlefield, eh? Yeah, I sometimes wonder why too, “Hershowitz replied as Scott circled the Humvee, its driver’s door stuck in the debris.

“Fuckin’ hell! Retribution, ya got a tow cable?”

That’s a positive. Hook it up to the back of the Humvee and we’ll pull it out.” Scott nodded and went towards the tank, finding the tow cable behind the tank.

“Turn the big ol’ machine ‘round!” The tank immediately responded and turned, Scott following its rotation. Once the Retribution had placed its back towards the crashed Humvee, Scott pulled the tow cable and latched it onto the grill of it. “Okay! Clear for extraction!”

Pulling!” The tank rumbled as it effortlessly pulled out the Humvee out of the debris, causing them to move back from the aftermath.

Hershowitz whistled and Miles, who had just arrived, just stared at the Humvee in awe. “Hol-ee shit, son! Is that there a…?”

“Yep, that’s a missile launcher alright,” Scott replied as he carefully scrutinized the Humvee. It was in working order, had enough fuel for a trip from Texas to Alabama and its missile launcher intact. Scott took a round trip from where he stood and opened the door to the Humvee’s driver seat, clambering inside. Hoping it would start up, he pushed the pedal forward and the battered transport rumbled to life.

“Fuck yeah! It works!”

“Alright, everybody pile up! Miles, take the launcher!” Hershowitz barked as they all sprinted towards the Humvee.

“Aye, aye sir!” Miles responded as he opened the door to the gunner seat and closed it. The controls for the launcher flickered open as soon as Miles pressed the screen. “Whoa shit! Scotty, how’d work this shit?”

“Just use the controller and pull the trigger if you see a tango!” Miles grabbed the joystick nearby and twirled it, the view on the screen followed his movements.

“This is damn cool! Now what’d we do?”

Hershowitz, from behind, piped up. “I’d say we regroup at… Markaz. If I knew my guts, there’s probably a chance that some survivors of the ‘quake that ain’t PLR is gonna regroup there!” Markaz was home to an enormous building that earned its nickname ‘Monolith’.

“I second that!”

Retribution here, we also thought of that before we came over to help you guys. Sounds pretty good, we good to go?

Garrett just nodded slowly; Miles comically caused the missile launcher to nod in approval.

“Alright then! Let’s head out to the monolith!” Somewhere far away, a sonic boom ripped through the atmosphere above the skies of Iran.
---

Fifteen minutes earlier,

The intrepid group of multicolored ponies sat on a checkered cloth, eying the skies for their rainbow maned friend.

“Where is that dang showoff?”

“Oh, don’t worry! She’s just getting ready for her performance. That’s all!”

“Buuuuut I want it now!” Pinkie Pie excitedly said, waiting for her hot-headed friend to perform her possibly death defying trick. Meanwhile high above in the clouds, Rainbow Dash was warming up for Blazer’s Point.

She huffed and collected all of the pieces of information on that boring old book she borrowed from Twilight.

“Okay… this is gonna be easy, Dash… Just stay calm annnnd….” She held her breath and trotted off the cloud quickly. Reaching the edge of it, she soared into the air like a speeding jet and her friends below now saw her flying.

“Well, if this is another one of her rainbooms, ya’ll can count me out!”

“It isn’t a rainboom, AJ! It’s a new trick she’s learnt from a old book about pegasi!” At this, Applejack snorted.

“Reeally? Did ah jus’ hear ‘bout Rainbow readin’ a book?” But to no avail, their eyes were still locked on to the blue pegasus above.

Okay Dash… remember what the book said… First, a corkscrew… She spun and performed a dazzling corkscrew for the first step.

Then a loop… She complied with her head, and everypony below watched, hoping it wasn’t a generic rainboom. Although that was still interesting.

Then an Aileron roll followed by a Z… Five seconds later, she had done all of the above, now there wasn’t any streaks of rainbow following her tail but a trail of flames.

“Dear Celestia! She’s on fire!”

“Calm down! I think its part of the performance!”

Okay… last step, travel as fast as I can in a shape of a rainbow…! She followed it exactly, and reached Mach 1.

Steadily after finishing the rainbow, her speed somehow reached Mach 2.

Then Mach 3, how is this even possible? The flames still trailed behind her and her friends watched on in both horror and awe.

“Oh my! Tell Rainbow to stop now! She’s going too fast!”

“I can’t! She’s too high up-A boom reverberated across the plains, and immediately they looked up to find their pegasus no longer trailing. They then looked at each other in confused glances, Twilight busy writing down the effects of Blazer’s Point. Certainly an interesting trick, but where did Rainbow Dash go? And what was that boom?

It was then she noticed a ring at where the flames stopped, a big cloud of smoke enveloping that area. She stopped, and knew what had happened.

Gone, gone like the wind. But to where?

Author's Note:

To celebrate Endgame's release, I've inserted the ASRAD variant of the Humvee here! Prepare your anuses because you won't see my dirt bike laden with C4s running into your tank! Also, please bear with my writings of Blazer's Point. I am most certainly the worst writer of Pegasi tricks, so screw me with a crowbar if you want to.